Pam lay in bed, gazing longingly at the side formerly occupied by Roy. She reached for the radio and turned it on, hearing a woman’s voice.

“It’s my husband and my anniversary, and I was wondering if you could play our favorite song. It’s from Wicked, by Idina Menzel. “I’m Not That Girl”?” The woman asked.

“Doesn’t sound like a great love song to me, but okay…” the usual broadcaster’s voice filled the room. Soon, his voice stopped and the sweet song of a poor woman flowed through the air.

Pam began to really get in to the song. ‘Sounds like me yesterday,’ Pam thought. She remembered yesterday, when she handed Jim a fax and their hands lightly brushed one another. Goosebumps filled her arms and her heart leapt. “Cold?” Jim had asked, and she replied with “um, a little.” She swore she saw the hairs on Jim’s arm stand up when they touched, but she never said a word.

Pam sighed. How often did she dream of Jim? How often did she pray that one day he would sweep her off her feet like he did that night back in May, the night only a month before her wedding. She had come to her senses, but it was too late. He found someone else, and she could do nothing about it.

When reality sets back in...

Pam felt a tear rush down her cheek. “Jim,” she spoke to the air, “I miss you. I love you. I…” the words started again. She listened…

Karen. She hated her. It wasn’t Karen that she hated, not really. She hated her the same reason she had a grudge against Katy. It was that Karen was in Jim’s arms every night, Karen that got to kiss him and hug him whenever she pleased. Not her. The fact was, if it weren’t for Jim, they could have been great friends. Pam knew there was a great connection between them with the “Committee to Plan Parties” prank on Angela. Was it really a prank? No, a prank isn’t a prank unless Jim’s involved. Maybe, just maybe, Jim will come to his senses. Maybe one day he will show up at her door with flowers and all of the love in the world and kiss her with all of the passion he did that casino night. After all, she was the one with the blonde, curly hair.

I’m not that girl.

How ironic was that? The wedding dress that she had picked out for that day back in June that never really came true had tiny pearls, in the shape of roses. Ironic, yes, but definitely not a coincidence. She knew that much was true. Suddenly, Pam was rushed out of her thoughts, and the beautiful song was pushed to the back of her mind when she heard a knock on her door. She went to open it, hoping that it was the pizza delivery man bringing her the pizza she had ordered just before turning on the radio. She opened the door, trying to brush away the black running down her cheeks. She had started to sob; that song brought the truth straight to her. She felt another hot tear gain freedom on her pink cheek as heard him say, “Hey…listen, if this isn’t a good time, I can come back later…”

“No, Jim, please. What’s up?”

Jim looked down at his feet as he said,

“Well, I…I broke up with Karen. After your…speech…I realized that I couldn’t try anymore. I’ve been trying and trying to get over you, believe me. I’ve tried everything possible. I even talked to Michael and Dwight about it. That was not a fun talk, believe me on that. Anyway, I just…I wanted to know how you felt about me still.”

Pam looked at Jim with a look of hope in her eyes, before grabbing him and kissing him tenderly. She never ended up hearing the last line of the song; she turned it off first. ‘The song is wrong. I do get the guy in the end,’ she thought.

I’m not that girl.

AN:: Okay, people who are not Wicked geeks wouldn’t understand the end…in the end, Elphie (the one who sings “I’m Not That Girl”) gets the guy. :]

"Alright, I'll see you in a few minutes." Jim hesitates, he knows what is going to come next.

"I love you," she says in a hopeful tone. Jim replies in the only way he can.

"Uh...yeah." He knows he's a jerk for not saying the same back to her, but in the long run, Jim's an honest guy. Well, when it matters. He knows he can't lead her on any more than he is now. He shouldn't have even led her on this far.

And that's when it hits him.

Karen's a buffer, that's all she is. She's funny, beautiful, and almost perfect for him, but it's that little part of her that's not perfect for him that bites him every time.

The way she tells him she can't do pranks, she has work to do.

The way she tells him that no matter how annoyed he is with Dwight, he has to just do work because everything he does to Dwight is childish.

The way she tries to prank him, but can't because she knows almost nothing about him.

The way she gets along with his brother John when he comes to town. Jim and John are complete opposites; if you love one, you hate the other.

The way she tolerates Roy, the way she doesn't even know what pain he has put Jim through.

The way she loves horror films. Jim hates horror films.

The way she loves to cook. Jim doesn't go for the gourmet meals, he would take grilled cheese sandwich over filet mignon anytime.

He sits there, wondering how different his life would be if he hadn't told Karen to take the job in Scranton.

"Alright, I'll be over in a few minutes."

"Great, see you soon."

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Pam."

Finally he realizes. What is he doing? He knows he'll never really want Karen. He only started going out with her when he found out he was going back to Scranton. He wasn't sure what would happen with Pam, so he brought a human shield with him. Stupid move there. She wanted to get back into how they used to be, maybe more, and he immediately said no to that.

"I just thought you should know that I'm sort of seeing someone."

He could see the hurt in her eyes that day. God, he was such a jerk. Everyone in the office could tell he was wanting revenge. Oscar confronted him later that week, asking him exactly what he had been thinking himself.

"What is your problem? Don't tell me you're over her already, I know that's not true."

"What are you talking about? I think we all know what she thinks of the-"

" Jim, that's not true anymore and you know it. She couldn't have been with you then. Now she can and you turn her down immediately? Give me a break. Maybe I was wrong. You and I both agree she deserves better than Roy, but now I'm thinking she deserves better than you."

Oscar's words stung him. "She deserves better than you". What right does he have to say that?

Then, there was that awkward conversation he had with Dwight after Pam convinced him to let Karen move a few blocks away.

Dwight walked into the room to find Jim sitting at his desk on the phone with a client.

"Yes, Mr. Angle, I'm sure I can do that for- Dwight, what the-?"

Jim hadn't been expecting Dwight to cut off the call with his most important client, but he was expecting even less what Dwight had to say after he pulled him into the hallway.

"You are the most insensitive jerk I have ever laid eyes on."

"What?"

"Pam was sitting out there crying because of you? Why don't you just dump Karen and go for her? Everyone knows you want to."

"Dwight, I'm sorry, but you are not in control of my love life, and-"

"Well you're not doing a good job controlling it and you don't see me upset about my girlfriend. I'm just saying you need to figure out what's going on with your life because if you don't tell Pam how you feel soon, someone in this office will."

Jim didn't prank Dwight for a while after that.

After that, it was Pam, of all people, who confronted him.

"Jim, I called off my wedding because of you."

He felt as though someone had hit him over the head with anvil. The world stopped spinning; this could not be happening.

Jim knows that if he broke up with Karen and went to Pam, he'd be happier.
No questions asked. But it would be so awkward with Karen, and...

wait.

If he broke up with Karen and went to Pam, he'd be happier. No questions asked. That means no ifs, ands, or buts. Screw Karen, screw Stamford.

Screw this life. He's been Dancing Through Life not knowing how great his life could have been. His brother called him blind, seeing only Pam last year. He wasn't blind, he was looking at things in a new way. He goes back to that way as he starts up the car and drives over to Sugar Hills Apartments.

He's such a jerk.

That's her first thought when he can only respond "Uh, yeah." when she opens her heart to him. The problem is, she's opened her heart to him for 2 months now, and his reaction is always the same.

"Okay."

"I gotta go."

"Uh, yeah."

She can't take it much longer. She takes a sip of her wine. She should be celebrating with Jim that they're both going to possibly move to New York, that their lives are going to change all because she pushed him to apply for the Corporate position. They had been going fine for a while, but now he's more distant than ever because of his "friend"'s speech at the beach earlier tonight. On the plus side, she learned new information tonight that she wished she never had:

Pam was engaged.

She called off her wedding because of Jim.

 He used the word when he told her.

He ran away from his fears and used her as a buffer.

She was being used.

Karen can't believe how stupid she's been. She downs the rest of her wine glass in a heartbeat, and then does the same with the glass she had set out for Jim.

He wasn't coming. He never would again. She turned on the radio and heard a beautiful soprano voice singing a short song:

Don't wish, don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart. There's a girl I know, he loves her so. I'm not that girl.

Whoever this girl is, she's got it right. She wished for too much and look where it got her. She followed some idiot to Scranton because he sucked at Call of Duty and he made her laugh. Now, he's off dreaming about Pam and wondering where his heart lies. What was wrong with her? She always had her life in line, and now she can't tell which way is up.

 She doesn't want to live this way anymore and realises she won't. She pours herself another glass of wine and downs it.

"Screw him," she thinks. "I hope he's happy now."