Summary: A series of emails from Karen Filippelli to her unnamed friend. Starts with Beach Games and will continue through Branch Wars, so spoilers for everything in between.
Categories: Jim and Pam,
Episode Related Characters: Karen
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Adult language, Mild sexual content
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 7
Completed: Yes
Word count: 3529
Read: 15752
Published: November 11, 2007
Updated: November 16, 2007
Story Notes:
I tried to write this as someone would write an actual email, so it includes a bit of rambling and a heavy dose of emoticons. I'm not a Karen fan but for some reason I like the challenge of writing from her point of view.
1. subject: You'll never believe this by ExtremelyGruntled
2. subject: hey you by ExtremelyGruntled
3. subject: disregard my last by ExtremelyGruntled
4. subject: buckle up, it's another long one by ExtremelyGruntled
5. subject: re: all that is Utica by ExtremelyGruntled
6. subject: It was great to see you this weekend! by ExtremelyGruntled
7. subject: Oh. My. God. by ExtremelyGruntled
subject: You'll never believe this by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
Takes place immediately following Beach Games.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli < kafil1078@gmail.com >
to JT < sweetums56442@gmail.com >
date May 12, 2007 11:49 AM
subject You'll never believe this
First of all, hi. Sorry I haven't written in a couple of weeks; it's been crazy here. I don't know what time it is where you are so I didn't want to call you, but I had to tell you what happened yesterday.
Our boss, Michael (I'm sure you remember him ;) decided to take us to the "beach" for a beach day. I say "beach" because it was really this pathetic lake outside of Scranton, but whatever. He arranged for us to play all these stupid games, as if we were on Survivor. Turns out that he was using these games to determine his replacement, because he was up for this promotion at the corporate office, which he thinks he has in the bag.
But let me back up for a second. Earlier in the day, Jim got a call from the CFO asking if he'd be interested in interviewing for the same position. Seems they bonded over sports at a cocktail party we went to at the CFO's house a few months back. Anyway, Jim, being Jim, told him he would think about it and call him back. He only mentioned this to me after we found out about Michael being up for the same job, and at that point I told him he should call the CFO back and tell him hell yeah, he was interested. And while we're at it, maybe I should throw my hat into the ring as well. :-)
Yes, you read me right - I have an interview next Thursday! Well, all three of us do, but I am sure that either Jim or I will get the job. Michael is far too much of an idiot to climb much further up the corporate ladder. I'm surprised he made it this far.
Anyway, Jim and I were having a pretty nice day. He seems to finally be snapping out of that funk that he was in for a while. Maybe it's the nicer weather, I don't know. But he seemed to be in a much better mood.
So it gets dark out and Michael reveals the next task to be a coal walk. No, I'm not kidding, he expected one or more of us to walk over a bed of hot coals. Okay. Of course no one does it but Dwight (whom I'm sure you also remember me talking about), and that was a scene I don't want to relive, so I won't. Someday when this TV show they're making finally airs, you can see it for yourself, because it was all caught on tape. Anyway, when it was over Michael started chastising everyone for their failures of the day, I look over and see Pam the receptionist still at the coals. Which she then proceeds to walk over! She then came running over to where the rest of us were, declaring that she had something she needed to say.
Well, what she needed to say was basically that she is in love with my fucking boyfriend, and that she called off her wedding for him, and now she's pissed that he doesn't give her the time of day. Everyone just sat there staring, and I wanted to get up and slap her but I was kind of stunned. She said her feet hurt and flounced away, while Jim just sat there looking pale as a ghost. I was so angry, but I didn't know what to say, and before I knew it he was going after her.
I called after him but he said he just needed a minute, and he went down to the water where she was soaking her feet. They talked for a minute, but I couldn't hear anything, and then he hugged her and they walked back up to the group, laughing. I felt like I was going to throw up, but Jim took me aside and told me that I had nothing to worry about, that Pam just wanted to be friends with him again. The whole situation made me uneasy, especially when he spent the bus ride back to the office staring out the window and not talking to me. When we got in his car to go home, he still wouldn't talk about it, so I pressed him a little bit and he snapped at me. He dropped me off at my apartment and said he would call me in the morning. Of course, I couldn't sleep all night. I thought for sure he was going to call me this morning and tell me he was leaving me for Pam.
However, the opposite happened. This morning he knocked on my door pretty early. I asked him what he was going to do, and he said that there wasn't anything for him to do, that he was with me. He didn't say much after that because as soon as I tried to talk about it, he pretty much jumped me and we ended up in bed for the rest of the morning. ;)
Which leads me to now. Jim is asleep in my bed, and here I am writing to you. I think everything is going to be okay. Or at least I hope so. I think he does love me, and he's obviously chosen to be with me and not her, but I don't know, I still have this nagging feeling... I know, I know. I am being paranoid.
One thing's for sure, I need out of this fucking town. If one of us gets this job we will move to New York together. I don't think he wants to be here any more than I do.
Wow, sorry this was so long. I think I hear him stirring. I'll talk to you later!
Karen
subject: hey you by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
Short email set during The Job
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli < kafil1078@gmail.com >
to JT < sweetums56442@gmail.com >
date May 17, 2007 12:37 PM
subject hey you
Just checking in with you while I wait for Jim to be done his interview. My interview went well but something crazy happened; I'll have to tell you later.
Jim and I had a great night. Have I mentioned that I am totally in love? He is The One. :)
Here he comes. Gotta go.
K
subject: disregard my last by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
This one is still during The Job.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli < kafil1078@gmail.com >
to JT < sweetums56442@gmail.com >
date May 17, 2007 6:34 PM
subject disregard my last
Well, whatever I said before, forget it. It's over. I'm not sure how coherent this email will be because I'm still crying, but I'll try to give you the whole story.
After my last email, which I wrote from my blackberry sitting next to a fountain, Jim came up to me and he looked really serious. I asked him how the interview went, and he didn't answer me at first. Finally, he said he didn't get the job. I tried to be sympathetic, thinking, well, at least I still have a shot and one of us will wind up with it, but then he clarified. He didn't get the job because he told the CFO he didn't want it.
I didn't understand why he would take his name out of the running like that. Did he find out something I didn't know, like the job required the person to kick puppies or something? So I asked him why, and he said it was because New York just wasn't for him. That's when my heart stopped for a second, because if he didn't think NYC was for him, then that would mean he wasn't going to move here with me, and if he didn't want to move here then... you probably know where this is going.
So I asked him, point blank, if it had anything to do with her. He couldn't even look me in the eye. He waited a long time before he answered, and then he told me he was still in love with her. What. The. Fuck. After all that, everything we've been through, he was in love with her the whole fucking time. Our whole relationship was a big fat lie. God, how could I be so stupid? I feel like the biggest idiot. I mean, I thought we had a great time last night. And his love for her sure didn't stop him from fucking ME this morning before our interviews. Thanks for making me feel like a whore, asshole.
I begged him not to do this to me, but I'm not sure why I did that, since it probably just made me sound pathetic. He said he was sorry, blah blah blah. Whatever. And then he said he would drive me back to Scranton, which is when I told him to fuck off, I would find my own way back. He argued with me for a minute but he didn't put up much of a fight, and then he left me there, crying like a baby in a public place. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.
So I am at Marie's place right now. We're going out and getting shitfaced drunk tonight, and then I plan on staying the weekend to get my head together. After that, I don't know.
I really wish you were here.
subject: buckle up, it's another long one by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
Set post-The Job, around the flashback scene in Fun Run.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli < kafil1078@gmail.com >
to JT < sweetums56442@gmail.com >
date May 21, 2007 10:21 PM
subject buckle up, it's another long one
Hey, sorry I missed your call yesterday. I really wanted to talk to you. Stupid time difference. :(
So yeah, I have a lot to tell you. As you know, I was dreading going back to work this morning and seeing him. I felt sick to my stomach on the way in, and in the parking lot I thought I may actually throw up. But I forced myself to enter the building anyway. Pam was at her desk, on the phone. She avoided making eye contact with me. Jim was late and wasn't there yet.
He came in a little while later. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but was too nervous to approach me, so I decided to issue a pre-emptive strike and corner him in the kitchen. I told him that just because we had broken up it didn't mean I was going anywhere, because I had worked hard for this job and I wasn't about to throw it away over some guy. Oh, and if he wanted to fuck the receptionist go right ahead but just do me a favor and don't throw it in my face every chance he gets. That's when I realized I was kind of yelling and most of the office heard me, but at that point I didn't really care.
He tried to apologize for hurting me, but what was I supposed to say? "Oh sure Jim, it's fine, don't worry about it." He kind of slunk away out of the kitchen, and I went in the bathroom and cried for 20 minutes before I composed myself. I was not about to let these people see me like that.
Luckily, God or karma or something then intervened. I got a call from David Wallace, the CFO. At first it was like another kick in the head, when he said that the corporate position I had interviewed for was given to someone else. But he quickly added that he would like to offer me the regional manager position in Utica! I didn't even have to think twice about it; I accepted on the spot. There is no sense hanging around this godforsaken hellhole anymore.
So I am moving to Utica! I start the week after next. I am going to use some vacation time this week, and they give me a week off to move. Yep, that's it, I am outta here. I have to break my lease, which is going to cost me an extra month's rent, but it's worth it. Wallace said that he will tell Michael that I'm leaving, so I wouldn't have to deal with that. Thank God.
I wanted to wait until everyone left for the night so I could pack up my desk, so I hung out in the breakroom until almost 5:30. It was really quiet and I figured everyone had left. But when I went back into the office, Pam was still there. She had her coat on and was about to walk out the door when she saw me. I really know I shouldn't have said anything to her, but I just couldn't help myself. I sarcastically congratulated her on "winning." She got really flustered and said, "It's not like that." It's not like what?
I asked her outright if she and Jim were together now. She tried to avoid answering, but the truth came out. Yes, they are together. It's only been what, three days? I wouldn't be surprised if he had run home from dumping me and jumped right into bed with her the same day.
She ended up just leaving, and I cleaned out my desk. On the way home I drove by Jim's place and her car was there.
The good news is that I don't have to go back, ever. I'm done. I will spend this week packing and then over the weekend I will go up to Utica to find a place to live. I feel really good about getting a fresh start. I know I wouldn't survive having to still work at this place and see him everyday, especially knowing that he's with her now.
I think once I get myself moved and start the new job, everything will be okay. But right now I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. :(
I'll talk to you soon. I miss you.
subject: re: all that is Utica by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
About a month after she moves to Utica, Karen replies to her friend, who is concerned about her.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli
to JT
date June 21, 2007 7:32 PM
subject re: all that is Utica
I didn't mean to imply I didn't like it here. The people are great. They're much more normal than Scranton. And I love my apartment. I love having more space.
It's just that I'm lonely. Okay, I'll admit it. I miss him. I feel stupid for missing him, but I do. I miss him and then I hate him and then I end up crying about it all over again. I realize that's pathetic, but I'm getting better. It's just taking more time than I thought it would. I thought I could erase him from my memory as soon as I moved here. But every time I come home all alone to this empty apartment, I feel so... lonely.
I'm trying to make friends though. I'm going out with the people from work for happy hour tomorrow. They all seem nice.
I'll be fine. Please don't worry about me.
subject: It was great to see you this weekend! by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
A short filler chapter which takes place almost three months after the last one.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli <kafil1078@gmail.com>
to JT <sweetums56442@gmail.com>
date September 4, 2007 8:02 AM
subject It was great to see you this weekend!
I hope you got back in one piece and are not overly jetlagged. :-)
Back here at Dunder Mifflin Utica this morning. Same old boring stuff. I heard they opened a new frozen yogurt shop down in the strip mall, so I'll probably check that out.
BTW, I really meant what I said this weekend. I am totally over him. Jim Halpert is but a distant memory at this point. Do you remember in the fifth grade when I had a huge crush on Eddie Reilly and I thought he liked me back, only to find out he really liked Christy Whateverthehellhernamewas? And I spent the first week of summer vacation crying on your shoulder, but then by the time school started again I had forgotten all about him? It's like that, only now I'm an adult. ;)
I have gone on with my life, and I feel great. Did I tell you that guy Tom called me again last week? We're probably going to go out to drinks this weekend. He's pretty cute, and funny, and he's a lawyer so his life actually has some direction. I'm not looking for anything serious at this point though, just someone to have fun with.
Well, I should get going. One of our salesmen gave his notice last week so I have to work on finding his replacement. Imagine that. I bet you they still haven't gotten around to replacing me in Scranton (as a salesperson, I meant, not as Jim's girlfriend, which we know has already been taken care of. lol ;).
Anyway, I hope that you come home for the holidays this year. I had missed spending time with you.
Take care.
Karen
subject: Oh. My. God. by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Notes:
Branch Wars!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
from Karen Filippelli <kafil1078@gmail.com>
to JT <sweetums56442@gmail.com>
date October 29, 2007 6:08 PM
subject Oh. My. God.
I'll give you one guess as to who showed up at my work today.
Yep, that's right.
I guess I should start from the beginning. The camera crew doing the documentary called last week and asked if they could come up for the day to film me calling Stanley (the salesman from Scranton who called me last week asking about transferring). I begrudgingly agreed, partly because I wanted to make sure that any future viewers of this TV show know that I am still alive and doing great.
Anyway, I waited for them to arrive to call Stanley. That call went well, and I was pretty sure he was going to take the transfer. But then Michael Scott calls me a little while later, accusing me of stealing his people. Whatever. I end the call and ten minutes later he calls my best salesman trying to get HIM to transfer down to Scranton. I had a good laugh over that.
Lunchtime comes around and I thought the camera guys were leaving for the day. I went out with one of the ladies from the office for about 45 minutes, and when we came back I saw a red convertible PT Cruiser parked in the parking lot. With a guy holding a camera in the backseat, and the camera pointed at me. I thought it was weird that they would be covertly filming me, so I walked over to the car and saw someone lying down in the front seat, obviously hiding.
It was Jim. Wait, not just Jim, but Jim wearing a warehouse uniform. With a woman's name on it. Oh, and he was wearing a fake moustache too.
I am not kidding.
I knocked on the window and asked what he was doing there. At first he tried to avoid answering, and then he made something up, but then I heard the sound of Michael Scott coming through the walkie talkie in his hand.
Seriously, could I make this stuff up?
Turns out Michael, Dwight and Jim thought they could get revenge on me or whatever for "poaching" Stanley. When I went inside Michael and Dwight were trapped under my copier, which they were trying to steal by pushing it down the stairs. Don't ask.
I considered calling the police and pressing charges, but I was feeling charitable. I had the three of them in my office and asked them what the hell they thought they were doing. Michael and Dwight replied with something idiotic, and after a minute, I just wanted them to leave. When those two stooges got up to leave, I asked the third one to stay back.
I asked him if he was still into this immature middle school bullshit and he made a joke about trying to quit. Always taking things so seriously, that one. So then I told him that if he wanted to see me so badly, he could have just called.
That's when he opened his mouth and started rambling about how no, he didn't want to see me, that he and Pam are still together and they are doing GREAT. That's when I lost it and tore into him about how GREAT it was that things are going SO FUCKING WELL FOR HIM AND HIS FANTASTIC GIRLFRIEND. Can you freaking believe the nerve of this guy? I cried for weeks when he dumped me. WEEKS. For what? He's obviously a fucked-up loser. I can't believe I couldn't see it before.
So, while I should be in a pissed off rage right now, it was actually sort of cathartic for me, because I saw him for what he really is. And that him dumping me was the best thing that could have happened to me. I am in a much better place right now, literally and figuratively. I don't need to waste any more time wondering what might have been.
Yeah, I'm good.
:)
Karen
End Notes:
The end. Thanks for reading. :-)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.