"There's NO Business like SHOW Business!" by McGigi
Summary: What happens after the documentary airs and all the Dunder-Mifflinites are bitten by the acting bug?
Categories: Other, Future Characters: Ensemble
Genres: Humor, Parody
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: Yes Word count: 1645 Read: 34240 Published: December 05, 2007 Updated: December 05, 2007
Story Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
*******
"I was bitten by the acting bug. It burrowed under my skin and laid eggs in my heart."~ Moe Szyslak.

This is a little taste of what might lie in the future for our favorite paper people; it's not quite what I think REALLY would happen if theyw ere, you know, real people, but it's a hell of a lot of fun to imagine.
*******

1. Kelly by McGigi

2. Michael and Dwight by McGigi

3. Bob Vance by McGigi

4. Phyllis by McGigi

5. Kevin by McGigi

6. Creed by McGigi

7. Oscar by McGigi

8. Darryl by McGigi

9. Meredith by McGigi

10. Stanley by McGigi

11. Jan by McGigi

12. Angela by McGigi

13. Andy by McGigi

14. Toby by McGigi

15. Ryan by McGigi

16. Pam and Jim by McGigi

Kelly by McGigi
Author's Notes:
I effing love Kelly. She'd make it far.

After capturing America's hearts in the hit documentary series "The Office: An American Workplace," Kelly Kapoor moves to Los Angeles to star in "Ten Little Indians",  the new hit sitcom on Fox about an Indian-American family with eight children and their misadventures.

Kelly plays Priya Patel, the eighteen year old "sassy" daughter and provides the very first catchphrase when, in episode 1.3, she spills a diet soda on her meddlesome sister's new sari, smiles sweetly and says "Sorrrry!" 

She makes the tabloids when she begins dating Ajay Chandakar, the co-star playing her twin brother, and Kelly soon becomes the first "Office" star to make the transition from television to music when she releases her first album "Spicy Curry" which climbs to number 3 on the charts and includes the semi-controversial hit single "You Think You're So Hot (But You Act Like a Virgin)."

The song is opposed by many right-wing groups as containing an anti-abstinence message. Kelly's cryptic response is "He knows who he is." The world, having seen the documentary, thinks they know who he is, too.

Michael and Dwight by McGigi

 Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute's foray into television is less extensive; in 2010, Michael develops a cable access show entitled "Mike's World" in which he, assisted by Dwight, discusses hot-button topics of the day and includes a "Weather Report" in which he rates celebrities on their 'hotness' factor.

Despite being several weeks or sometimes months behind on the information, the show receives modest ratings for the 1:30-2:00 am time slot on the Scranton Today cable access channel 61.

Only nine episodes air until they are sued for copyright infringement for opening the show with the phrase "Mike's World! Party time, excellent!" and the offer to change it to "Mike's World! Excellent! Party Time" is refused.

The plug is pulled and the show is canceled in January 2011. Copies of the nine episodes are rare, and DVDs have been known to fetch up to $249 on eBay.
Bob Vance by McGigi

Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration continues to own and operate Vance Refrigeration which soon expands into Vance Appliances.

He hosts a weekly radio show every Sunday morning from 10-11 called "Appliance Talk" at WVIA, the Lackawanna NPR syndicate. The show is soon picked up nationwide and millions tune in to NPR each week for advice on choosing and caring for appliances.
Phyllis by McGigi

 Due to the overwhelming support for her oven mitts that were made famous in the first Christmas episode of the documentary, Phyllis Vance founds the Won't Someone Think of the Children? charity, whose mission is to supply blankets to underprivileged youth.

Her army of volunteers grows and by 2012, they distribute over 27,000 blankets to children in need. Her efforts to combat poverty ("Or at least make it a little warmer" as their slogan says) land her guest spots on The View and Oprah. Oprah provides each of her audience members a blanket and donates 10,000 more for Won't Someone Think of the Children?

Phyllis retires from charity work in 2023 to spend time with her step-grandchildren, passing Won't Someone Think of the Children? to her stepdaughter Anna.

Kevin by McGigi

 Kevin Malone moves to Las Vegas in 2009 and is a contestant on Celebrity Poker Showdown at the Palms.

He unfortunately comes in second to one of the guys from The Real World, but experiences an upswing when he co-hosts the World Series of Poker championships on ESPN in 2012.
Creed by McGigi
Author's Notes:
I just want Creed to be happy and have a house and a full belly.

"Wacky Weed" Creed returns to the airwaves in 2009, hosting a two hour show each weekday on Sirius Satellite Radio, specializing in lesser known folk- and bluegrass influenced music.

His band, The New Roots tours regionally in the Northeast in 2010 and worldwide in 2011. Creed amasses quite a fortune and is featured on the final episode of MTV's Cribs in 2014, retiring to the Netherlands in 2018.
Oscar by McGigi

Oscar Martinez stays out of the camera's way for some time after the documentary ends, and is eventually persuaded to do a sweeps guest spot on "Ten Little Indians" as Jaya Patel's best friend, reuniting him with former Office-mate Kelly Kapoor.

The reunion is scrapped when Oscar walks off the set after the director asks him to "gay it up a lot."

He is subsequently featured in an article in Out! Magazine and now keeps his life private, living off of the settlement awarded him from Dunder-Mifflin after Michael asked him during an interview with Al Roker on the Today Show if Oscar would please "draw the mechanics of how it works with two guys." 
Darryl by McGigi
Author's Notes:
I could listen to that man sing all night. He's awesome.

Darryl Philbin moves to California and in 2010, guest hosts "Live With Regis and Kelly" while Kelly Ripa is out on maternity leave for the birth of her fifth child.

The show is nicknamed "Live With the Philbins!" and is an immediate success. Audiences love the repartee between Regis and Darryl, and Darryl's LA lounge acts begin to sell out.

After a nasty public argument with Kelly Kapoor that lands them in the tabloids, Darryl begins dating Beyonce Knowles in 2012 and is featured in several music videos from her nineteenth album.
Meredith by McGigi

Meredith Palmer, after a disastrous spring break trip with her daughter Wendy in which Meredith appears topless in "Girls Gone Wild 17," enters rehab and becomes friends with Lindsay Lohan, much to the delight of Jake Palmer.

As a thank you for being such good support, Lohan offers Meredith the role of her supportive mother in "Just Another Romantic Comedy" which is released in 2013.

Lohan and Jake Palmer wed in 2016.
Stanley by McGigi

After skyrocketing to stardom in the documentary, Stanley Hudson and his wife Terri become the second place winners of The Amazing Race: Celebrity Edition during the 2010 season, losing only to the powerhouse team of Heidi Klum and Seal.

Upon elimination, Stanley merely shrugs and says, "We tried."

The Hudsons retire in 2012; Terri is a volunteer with Won't Someone Think of the Children? and Stanley can occasionally be heard as a guest speaker on "Appliance Talk" with advice on good buys.
Jan by McGigi

Propelled by her recognizability, her fall from grace and subsequent conquering of the business world once again as the CEO of Paper Magic Paper Company in Scranton, Jan Levinson-Scott becomes a weekly commentator on MSNBC, concentrating on women in the business world, with some attention to lawsuits.

She becomes a champion for women and minorities with workplace issues and is one of Time Magazine's People of the Year in 2015.

During a photo shoot for the magazine, her husband becomes belligerent when not allowed to be in the photo.

End Notes:
Paper Magic Paper Company is real, they make all the boxed Valentines and Christmas tags, and I think it'd be so fun to work there, better than a urinalysis lab.
Angela by McGigi

Angela Martin uses the documentary as a vehicle for cat rights, and is lauded in Cat Fancy magazine for her efforts. She is subsequently offered a small role in the critically acclaimed film "Must Love Cats" with John Cusack in 2011.

She develops a line of porcelain dolls- cherubic angel children all cuddling kittens, which sells admirably on QVC and attracts the attention of Marie Osmond.

The two become friends, though, as Angela says, "We don't discuss the Mormon thing." They release a line of dolls in 2014 that outsells even Madame Alexander that year.

Marie suggests developing eighteen inch quality plastic dolls, but Angela refuses to compete with the American Girls line, saying "They've done so much for me."

Andy by McGigi

After the documentary ends, Andy Bernard is rejected for being too old on his Real World: Cleveland application.

He then takes viral videos to a new level when he becomes the newest internet sensation by releasing a new "Andy Sings" video every week or so, in which he performs a capella versions of popular songs. Fans begin submitting requests, and his are soon the most viewed on YouTube.

Finally in early 2012, Andy becomes a regular commentator on VH1's "The '80s Were AWESOME!", a weekly series in which Andy and other C-list celebrities provide snarky witticisms and commentary on life in the 1980s.  

End Notes:
He is so much fun.
Toby by McGigi

Toby Flenderson takes the stage by storm and is nominated for an Obie for his heartfelt portrayal of Willy Loman in the Off-Broadway revival of "Death of a Salesman" in 2011.

He loses to Seann William Scott for his role in "The Sweet Agony of Defeat" and the following year becomes a 'stage father' when he accompanies his thirteen year old daughter Sasha in a touring production of "The Sound of Music" where she plays Louisa Von Trapp.

He understudies several Nazis in the production, and receives a card from Michael Scott reading simply "I knew it!!!!"

During the tour in Los Angeles, he meets actress Reese Witherspoon and the two begin dating. They marry in 2014; it is the second marriage for both.

End Notes:
Hahahahahaaaa! This was my favorite, I think.
Ryan by McGigi
Ryan Howard's show business experience post-The Office is limited to an appearance on "Jaywalking" in which he is unable to identify the capital of Florida but is able to hum the theme song to the Smurfs.
End Notes:
Ryan's being a douche this season, Leno's a douche every season, so they're perfect for each other.
Pam and Jim by McGigi

Pam Beesly and Jim Halpert become TLC's first multi-show crossover couple. Their wedding is filmed for "A Wedding Story: Special Edition" which serves to reunite many of the current and former Dunder-Mifflinites and consequently attains one of the highest ratings in the network's history, and the highest for 2009. 

In 2011, TLC's Mothers' Day airing of Jim and Pam Halpert's episode of "A Baby Story" documenting the birth of their daughter Ivy Rose gains the highest ratings in the show's history. An offer is made for a weekly reality show about America's favorite family, but the couple declines.

They do allow an updated ending on their "A Baby Story" episode re-airing in 2013 including footage of their new son, Charles John. 

No more specials follow, and the couple keeps their family's lives private, though an episode of VH1's "Where Are They Now? The Office Edition" airing in 2019 includes photographs of Ivy and Charlie walking into their elementary school outside of Philadelphia. 

Pam and Jim consent to a quick interview for the show, in which they state, "We're perfectly happy with the way our lives turned out."
End Notes:
A little bit of dessert to end with, if you will. Thanks SO much for reading!!
This story archived at http://mtt.just-once.net/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=2981