Dear Jim,

If you're reading this, that means that the messenger bag always draped over your shoulder isn't just for show. You actually keep things in there. I'm sorry I'm writing this right before your interview at Corporate, but there are some things I needed to say before you get the job in New York (because you will.)

I know I said a lot of things at the beach the other day. That I missed you, and that I miss our friendship. But thats not entirely true. Sure, I miss you. That's obvious. But I also hate you. Because the things that you do to me without you even knowing are what kill me, but also make me feel alive. Your probably thinking you already know this, but you dont, Jim. You dont know that you made me love you all those years ago. Yes, I said years. I just didnt have the courage to change my life to reflect my feelings. You dont know the things that I wish I could scream from the rooftops. You dont know that ever since that night with the charity casino event, you've managed to kill me with your leaving, your coming back and with your girlfriend. Dont get me wrong, if she makes you happy, thats great, but it kind of just reminds me what could have been. It kills me that my being with Roy killed you. I guess we're all paying for that one, huh? But walking over those coals gave me the courage to do whatever I wanted. Your eyes quickly told me that I couldnt. But I dont care. Fancy New Beesly doesnt care what anyone thinks. I did that for me. But Im doing this, sneaking this letter into your messenger bag, mere moments before you and Karen leave, this is only for me. You can take what you will from it. I need to feel the courage I felt walking over those coals again. And only you can bring that make it happen and take it away.

I guess what Im trying to say is that I more than just miss you. When it comes to you, you're more than everything else in my life. You're more than just a best friend, youre more than just a co-worker, and you're more than the guy who told me he loved me. You're everything.

I dont think giving you this letter will change anything. Half of the things I just told you I always wanted you to already know, and that you were planning on getting a job in New York to spite that. I guess what Im trying to say is Good Luck in New York, Jim. Dont forget us when your famous.

Love,
Pam.

PS... I thought you should have my gold medal from the office olympics. It hasnt done me much good lately, so I thought Id give it to someone who could respect it.

"Jim?" Karen said from the drivers side of his car. "What is it?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing." He said, folding up the letter and putting it in his bag. "Just, nothing."

"Now leaving Pennsylvania." Karen said aloud. "Thank God, huh?"

Jim stared out the window. "Yup."

Pam sat at her desk, gathering the paper and pens she will need to take notes on their trip. Of course, she had the most boring job in the office, why wouldnt she have the most boring job on beach day, she thought. She watched as Jim and Karen packed their cooler with bottles of water. She secretly hoped Jim snuck in a few grape sodas, but the new Jim wouldnt do that. She began writing down Jims name, and words quickly followed.

Love.
Hate.
Love.
Hurt.

They began to gather onto the bus, and Pam made sure to go ahead of Jim and Karen, so they wouldnt be sitting near each other. She sat next to Andy, and secretly wished he would pass out on the way to Lake Scranton. Of course he didnt. She had the urge to write more words down next to Jims name, but she didnt want Andy to see. He was the last person she wanted to catch wind of what was going on in her mind. Her pencil began sketching the inner workings of her brain. A plain circular vase, vines out the side, a dead rose in the centre, its thorns still sharp.

"Pam, did you get all that?" Michael interrupted her thought.

"All of what?"

"Of what I said."

"No."

"You've just been drawing?" michael let out an aggravated sigh. "I can't stay mad at you!" She knew as of that moment that the day would be long.

As she sat and watched as Jim and Karen playfully joked during the egg game, Pam began to write.

"You're more than that to me. You're everything."

"Pam! I have a job for you!"

And it continues, she thought. What could he possibly want now.

200 hot dogs later, Pam sat and watched as Dwight shoved the meat-ish substance into his face. She sat away from the group, pretending to take notes, writing more words underneath where she had written his name.

Love.
Courage.
Respect.

Then she heard Michael's bellow. He was interviewing for a job at corporate? Maybe this is my lucky day, she thought. She got up and walked over to where the group was. Andy won the contest, and Pam pretended to write that down. She sat next to Ryan and quickly flipped the page as his eyes darted to the paper.

"How are your notes coming?"

"Oh you know, not at all." she said, going back to her drawing. "So he really thinks he's going to make it to corporate?" she whispered.

"I hope not." He mumbled. Ryan turned to Pam. "Can you keep something quiet?" Pam nodded. "I already interviewed for the corporate job."

"Really?" she whispered. He nodded. "How did it go?"

"Good, I played up the fact that Ive put up with Michael, that Im about to graduate business school."

"And you left out the whole fire starter thing?" Pam joked.

Ryan laughed. She had never seen Ryan laugh.

"That's great, Ryan. I hope you get it. You deserve it after all that Michael has done to you."

Sun was starting to set, and Pam made her way back to her blanket. She noticed Jim and Karen sitting by the water. The words came again.

Love.
Happy.

It was almost sunset, and she hoped the night was almost over.

Once the fire was lit, and the coals were hot, she knew that the night wouldn't end without a blowout.

She slipped her sandals off her feet. She was going to do it. She didn't necessarily want Michael's job, she just wanted to do... something. But then came the protest.

"Not you, Pam." Michael said.

"I wanna try it."

She looked at Jim and Karen, quickly looked at her feet, and slowly made the decision. If she didn’t do this, she'd never find the courage to do anything. Even as she watched Dwight kneel in the coals, she felt something inside of her finally push.

She slipped her shoes off for a second time. This time no one was around. She took a few deep breaths, ran the words through her head. Love, hurt, love, hate, courage, happy. Go.

She darted over the embers in swift movements. It surprised her that she didn't even feel the coals. Not one of them. Her adrenaline was through the roof, wanting to scream her feelings out over Lake Scranton. No, she thought. Not when everyone, including him, was sitting just feet away, oblivious to what she had just accomplished. She darted over to the group.

And the words that she had suppressed for so many years finally emerged, in coherent sentences, much to her surprise. "I miss you." OK, that was a surprise.

"We were best friends before you moved to Stamford, and now were not even friends anymore. And I miss you. I miss having fun with you."

His eyes are what stopped her. The courageous wall that she had just collapsed to the ground was now being put back up around her. She felt closed off once again. She felt her feet start to burn and blister. If only she could have stayed courageous, maybe she would never feel pain again.

With her feet cooling off in the water, she thought about all that she had said. I miss you, none of it mattered until I met you, were not even friends anymore. She almost didn’t hear him come up behind her.

“I don’t feel like I’ve come all the way back.” He said.

She didn’t know what to say. She just thought about what she wanted, at the very least.

“Well, I wish you would.”

“Okay.” He said with a meek smile. “You sure your feet are okay?”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” She said, looking him in the eye.

They walked back to where the rest of the group was, gathered their belongings. Jim grabbed his bag and his girlfriend, Pam grabbed her notebook.

On the bus ride back, she sat next to Stanley. He knew nothing of what had happened, and she preferred it that way.

Pam sat up that night with her laptop humming, her fingers poised over the keys. She heard the notification of her email, a new message. She was surprised to see it from Ryan.

“I’ve never heard you talk that much. Are you okay?”

She began to write back, “Yeah, I guess I’ve spent too many years not saying what I feel and the beach was the best place to do it. What are you doing up?”

Suddenly her AIM chimed. “Kelly just called me, so needless to say I needed some intelligent entertainment.”

She laughed. “I hear you. My head is reeling, and my feet are peeling.”

Ryan wrote back, “I thought you were an artist not a poet.”

“I dabble.” She typed.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked.

“OK.” Pam typed back timidly.

“What is it with you and Jim?” he quickly typed, “Is it what I think it is?”

Pam stared at her screen in disbelief. “What do you think it is?”

“He has feelings for you. But what I don’t know is what you feel, you know, since you called off your wedding.” He typed quickly again. “You know the wedding that I helped with the invitations, and wasn’t invited to.”

She laughed a little. “He told me how he felt at the casino thing, I told him I couldn’t, and then he left. After he was gone, I realized I made a mistake. He came back with Karen clinging right onto him, and now I don’t know what to even believe. Work on Monday is going to be fun.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine.” Ryan typed back.

Suddenly Pam became confused, and wanted answers. “Ryan, why are you being so nice? You're never this nice. To anyone, not even Kelly.”

“Because I figure if there is one person Id want to stay in contact with after I get the New York job, it would be the sanest person here.”

“Even after tonight?” she joked.

“Well that’s excusable.” He said. “It’s pretty obvious you have feelings for Jim. No one blames you.”

At the office, she never regretted or denied what she said. She meant it. And was glad she meant it. But that night she learned that Jim was applying for the job Ryan was up for. She needed a last ditch effort to tell Jim what she really thought. What her heart really said. She flipped through her notebook to the page that contained the words she wrote of him. And on a crisp new page, she began writing.

On his break, Jim went into the break room, and watched as his change went into the soda machine. And as a force of habit, his hand pressed the buttoned labelled Grape Soda. He smiled as his fingers quickly snapped the can open. One last time, for good luck, he thought.

At 1pm, Pam finished writing the letter, and in just a few hours Jim would be leaving, maybe for good. She couldn’t just go up to him and hand him a letter. Her courage from the other night was long gone, and couldn’t dream of gaining it anytime soon. She saw the back of his chair, the messenger bag hanging from it. Her eyes darted around the room and he was no where in sight. She decided to shoot caution into the wind, and got up from her desk. Just as she stood up, Jim came out of the Annex, and she made her way to Ryan’s desk.

“I can’t do it.” She said.

“Come on.” He said with a hint of disappointment. “You have to. You may not have the chance again.”

“You have to help me.”

“How?”

“Get him and Karen away from here. To the break room, or the kitchen, or something. Just nowhere they can see me.”

“Why Karen too?”

“And risk her taking it out before he can see it?” She pointed out. Then came Pam’s mini breakdown. She took a deep breath. “Never mind.” She turned quickly on her heels, and retreated back to her desk.

Her temporary loss of courage distracted Pam from the rest of the day. She went about her business, Jim went about his, and they never crossed paths. Pam finally got away from Michael long enough to make herself some tea, and sitting in the kitchen was Jim. As her eyes dropped to her hands, she thought to herself how the conversation should go.

“Hey,” he finally said.

“Hi.” She said tenderly. She hoped that her voice would remain strong, but obviously, her heart had another plan.

“Are you okay?” Jim asked with a caring smile. He really had to stop doing that. She couldn’t imagine Karen ever appreciating that smile as much as she did.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She said, looking at him. “I get to take a break from Michael for the next ten minutes, so it’s looking good.”

“Right,” he said, lowering his head. “But seriously, you’re okay right? With things?” Pam gave him a confused look. “Since the beach?”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Dumbass, she thought. Like he would give a rats ass about anything else. “Um.. yeah, I’m alright. I mean… things happen for a reason, right?” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well,” OK, mouth, don’t fail me now. She thought. “I guess theres always a reaction to an action. Like, when you left, I left Roy. Both goods, so, oh and, with my Beach tirade came people thinking Im turning into Kelly.”

“That will never happen.” Jim said.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Oh my God, Beesly, I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you. Number one, you have a brain, number two, you use an inside voice, and number three,”

“Okay, I get it. But you know, I think I now know how to get what I want. I can’t let people walk all over me. I let it happen before, but I have to stand up for myself now.”

Jim just nodded. “Fancy New Beesly.”

“Well, what about you, Fancy New Halpert?” Whoops.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you’ve ‘evolved’; you have a fancy new girlfriend, a fancy new haircut, and a fancy new life. What made you aspire to evolve?”

“With everything except the haircut, I’m just growing up Pam. Some would think that I needed to.”

“I didn’t.” She said under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. Its great, Jim. Really. Good luck in New York.”

She left swiftly and her teal teapot in tow. As she got to her desk her hand slipped into her desk drawer and touched the letter. No point now, she thought. She took the letter and threw it into the garbage. There was no point now. All that she needed to say would more than likely fall on deaf ears. He would never believe that she simply loved him for him.

“Is everything okay?” Karen asked Jim as he walked back to his desk and opened up his messenger bag.

“Yeah, no, I guess it’s just the reality of what is happening.”

“What? A big boy job?”

“Yes, exactly.” He laughed. “Oh, I left that questionnaire David asked for in the car, I’m just gonna run and grab it.” He said standing up. “I’ll be right back.” He said walking towards the door. He looked over at Pam, who was on the phone with Jan. She simply rolled her eyes and he left. He knew she wasn’t rolling her eyes at him, but he somehow felt that the gesture double meaning. He did feel like he had offended her, he just didn't know how. Actually, he did know how, he just didn't want to believe that now, at the point he was at in his life, she was finally ready to be with him, but he was ready for bigger things.

At least he thought he was ready for bigger things.

She sat at her desk and saw that the bag was open on his chair. She had a window in order to get the letter into his bag. It was the perfect opportunity. She debated in her head whether or not to take the chance one more time, and suddenly…

RHoward: Do it.

PBeesly: I threw it out.

RHoward: I took it out of the trash when you weren’t looking. It’s in your pile of faxes.

She looked over at the foot high pile of faxes and saw the envelope sticking out the side. She looked over at Ryan and he looked at her with wide eyes.

RHoward: He won’t be gone much longer, you better just do it. Karen is talking to Toby. The coast is clear.

All she did was nod. She slid the envelope into her hands and got up quickly. She placed the letter into the bag, in between other papers and next to his iPod. As she let go of the letter, she felt liberated and free. She walked back to her desk with a gleeful smile. As she sat down, she panicked and regretted she ever did it. As her feet began to move to run and grab it from his bag, Jim walked back in the door.

Pam, still feeling the shock of what she did, pulled up her email and began typing.

“Hey, its me. I just did something I have never done, or imagined I would ever do, or anyone would think I would ever do. And I'm scared.”

She searched through her addresses for Jim’s email, but saw Ryan’s pop into her head. She clicked on his name.

She hit send. And within a few seconds, a reply was waiting. “Meet me in the kitchen.”

Pam got up and went into the kitchen, where Ryan quickly followed.

“I did it.”

“You did.” He said. “He has to know.”

“I know,” she said timidly. “I just can’t help but panic.”

“Worst case scenario, he leaves, loses his bag and never comes back, never knowing. Jim knowing is the least of your problems. All that happens now is you wait for the results.”

“I think that’s the scariest part.”

“Well, if everything were predictable, then life wouldn’t be interesting. And if I know Jim, he won’t be so predictable. Not now, not as he’s evolving.” He said, making the air quotes.

Suddenly Dwight walked in, and interrupted their conversation. “Excuse me; all personal conversations must be made on personal time. Not when you are on the clock. Right, temp?”

“We were just talking about the new line of letterhead with the optional watermark.” Pam said. “I personally think it’s tacky, but I guess the customers like it.”

Ryan just nodded.

“Well how would he know? He never made a sale.” Dwight said candidly.

“Dwight, shouldn’t you be interviewing for the new assistant manager?”

Dwight checked his watch. “Oh, you’re right.” And he turned quickly. Ryan and Pam followed, watching Dwight call on his first victim.

“Bye, you guys.” Karen said with her purse around her shoulder. “Wish us luck.”

Jim was getting up from his chair and walking to the coat rack. Pam slouched in her chair, and looked up at Jim. His eyes watched her as she reached for the phone to check the voicemails. “Good luck, Jim.”

“Thanks, Pam.” He lowered his head and left behind Karen, not looking back. It was the second time he had done that to her.

“Making sure you didn't forget anything?” Karen said from behind the wheel.

“I thought I would grab my iPod.” He said, reaching into the bag. He looked inside and saw a foreign envelope. He didn't put it there. And he was certain Karen didn’t put it there. He pulled the piece of paper out from the envelope and stared at the handwriting. Pam. Before he even read the first word, he had the urge to get Karen to turn the car around. But he read the first line.

If you're reading this, that means that the messenger bag always draped over your shoulder isn't just for show. You actually keep things in there. I'm sorry I'm writing this right before your interview at Corporate, but there are some things I needed to say before you get the job in New York (because you will.)

Oh, Beesly, you’ve managed to kill me from miles away. Again.

I know I said a lot of things at the beach the other day. That I missed you, and that I miss our friendship. But thats not entirely true. Sure, I miss you. That's obvious. But I also hate you.

Honestly, I hate me right now too.

Because the things that you do to me without you even knowing are what kill me, but also make me feel alive. Your probably thinking you already know this, but you dont, Jim. You dont know that you made me love you all those years ago. Yes, I said years.

Why am I just learning this now?

I just didnt have the courage to change my life to reflect my feelings. You dont know the things that I wish I could scream from the rooftops. You dont know that ever since that night with the charity casino event, you've managed to kill me with your leaving, your coming back and with your girlfriend

You and me both.

. Dont get me wrong, if she makes you happy, thats great,

She doesn’t. She should, because she is great, but she’s no you.

but it kind of just reminds me what could have been. It kills me that my being with Roy killed you. I guess we're all paying for that one, huh?

You have NO idea, Beesly.

But walking over those coals gave me the courage to do whatever I wanted. Your eyes quickly told me that I couldnt. But I dont care. Fancy New Beesly doesnt care what anyone thinks. I did that for me. But Im doing this, sneaking this letter into your messenger bag, mere moments before you and Karen leave, this is only for me. You can take what you will from it. I need to feel the courage I felt walking over those coals again. And only you can bring that make it happen and take it away.

I’ve never wanted anything but to make you happy.

I guess what Im trying to say is that I more than just miss you. When it comes to you, you're more than everything else in my life. You're more than just a best friend, youre more than just a co-worker, and you're more than the guy who told me he loved me. You're everything.

I dont think giving you this letter will change anything. Half of the things I just told you I always wanted you to already know, and that you were planning on getting a job in New York to spite that. I guess what Im trying to say is Good Luck in New York, Jim. Dont forget us when your famous.

Love,
Pam.

PS... I thought you should have my gold medal from the office olympics. It hasnt done me much good lately, so I thought Id give it to someone who could respect it.

Gold metal for a class jerk? I don’t even deserve it.

“Jim?” Karen asked. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.”

The next day in New York, after the awkwardness that was Jan’s firing, Jim sat in the lobby of Dunder Mifflin New York. Where he definitely should not have been.

“Jim, are you sure you’re okay? You didn’t sleep a wink last night.”

“Actually,” he paused. This wasn’t the best way to do this, but he had to. “Can I talk to you for a second?” He asked, leading her to the stairwell.

“What’s up?”

He took a deep nervous breath. “I got a letter from Pam yesterday.”

“Oh.” Karen’s face had ‘shes a bitch’ written all over her face.

“Yeah, and basically she said what she didn’t say at the beach.” He said, looking in her eyes. All he could see was Pam.

“Wow, she actually held back? What more could she have had to say?”

“Her feelings for me.” He blurted out. “How she really feels.”

“And? What does this have to do with me?”

“Come on Karen.” He sighed. “You know.”

“I can’t believe this.” She said.

“Karen, I never…”

“Yeah, you did.”

Jim thought about it, and decided he didn’t want to fight it. Karen stormed off, leaving Jim to go into his interview with David Wallace, just to turn down the job right away.

On the train back to Scranton, Jim thought about what he was going to do. Calling her was out of the question. It was too obvious. She was probably still at work. He would surprise her there.

***

Pam looked at the clock on the wall. Almost three.

“I think you can go home, Pam. You look exhausted.” Ryan said. “I’ll take over the phones.”

“Would you?” She said taking her purse from her desk drawer. “I have to go grocery shopping, and I want to beat the rush.”

“Okay.”

“Ryan,” she said. “Are you being nice to me just as a big elaborate prank with Dwight?”

“Yes.” He said, not looking at her. “Honestly?” she nodded. “I needed a distraction from Kelly. But, after thinking about it, I think that if you and Jim actually end up together, I will never hear the end of it from Kelly.”

Pam laughed. “Well, it’s a double edged sword. If I get Jim, you suffer. If I don’t get Jim,” and she faded off.

“We all suffer.” Ryan said.

“What?”

“Come on Pam. The whole office is invested in what could be with you two.” He admitted. “Phyllis and Meredith have a pool going on when Jim will dump Karen and ask you out. I think Meredith has today.”

“Really? Who else is in that?”

“Kelly, Toby, even though he doesn’t condone interoffice relations, Dwight,”

“Dwight?” Pam asked, in a whisper, with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I know.” He said. “So, really, we all have money on the fact that you and Jim are meant to get together, get married and have lots of mini Halperts.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, Howard.”

“I’ve got $50 that says he proposes within a year.” Ryan said bluntly.

“I'm going now.” Pam said, grabbing her coat and leaving the Dunder Mifflin office. She got into her car and began to drive to the grocery store and then the comfort of her own home. She had a bottle of Pinot Grigio in her fridge that needed her attention.

***

“I’m so sorry for the inconvenience, David, but it was great seeing you again.” Jim said, shaking his hand.

“No hard feelings. We’ll still be in touch. Especially when Michael screws up.”

Jim just smiled. He grabbed the letter from the bag and darted to the elevator. He checked his watch. Just after 2. He could make it in time, he thought. Karen had said she was going to take a train, so he wouldn’t feel too bad about leaving his dumped ex-girlfriend in New York City. He jumped into his car and paid the ridiculous parking fee.

It was worth it, though. He didn't care, because of what was waiting back home for him.

After tossing the keys onto the makeshift table in her entry way, she scurried to the kitchen to put the heavy paper bags onto the counter. She checked the time on her microwave. 3pm. Good, she thought, a nice afternoon in, to relax and not think about Jim Halpert. That is, if she could.

After flicking through all the channels of the television 20 times, she finally turned it off. There was nothing to take her mind off of what she had just done. She cracked open the bottle of wine sitting in her fridge, sat at the dining room table and opened her laptop. Just one of the perks of a failed engagement, he kept the ring, she kept the computer.

She didn't know what she was doing when she pulled open her work email. Wishful thinking, maybe, but she didn't expect to see what was in the Inbox. From Ryan.

Jim is here.
He’s looking for you.

A miniature heart attack, it felt like. She didn't know what to do. She called the line to her work phone, and Ryan promptly answered.

“Dunder Mifflin, Ryan speaking.”

“He’s there?”

“No, he just left.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what happened. He went into the conference room,”

“Because he thinks I have an interview with the crew guys. I did that earlier.” She interrupted.

“And then he asked Michael where you were, he said you went home to cry over Roy.”

“Oh no.” She mumbled.

“Then, Jim grabbed something from out of his desk drawer and left.”

“When was this?”

“About 5 minutes ago.”

Pam thought about what he could be doing, if he was on his way here, if he just needed something for his new life in New York, or what. Either way, she was worried.

“Pam?”

”What am I going to do?”

“Whatever you do, make sure you don’t tell Michael.” He said.

Pam hung up the phone. She didn't mean to hang up on Ryan, but she had to leave her apartment. She had to at least see him coming. She walked out onto the terrace and sat next to the flower pot she bought for it. She could see from all directions. She would see his car coming from any angle.

A few minutes went by and she saw something reminiscent to his car. And it was parked on the other side of the street. She saw Jim’s arm perched up against the window. He looked distressed. Like he was rubbing his forehead, thinking of something to say, but was coming up with nothing. She didn't know what she should do.

It was not her logical thinking that brought her to her apartment door. No, she had no choice. It was like her feet did her thinking for her, and she suddenly was slipping on her sneakers and heading to the stairs. She walked outside and saw Jim in the car once again, his expression unchanged. She knew he couldn’t see her, so she just sat down at the steps and watched. After what seemed like an eternity and couldn’t have been more than 2 minutes, he looked over. Pam shielded her eyes from the sun, and got up. She walked over, across the street and stopped at his car. She expected him to get out, but instead, he reached over to the passenger side door, unlocking it and opening it for her. She walked across and got into the car.

After another eternity of seconds, Pam finally talked.

“You got my letter.” She said, staring at her hands.

All he did was nod.

“And, you’re here to say that you got the job in New York.” She said.

Jim looked over. He remained silent.

“It’s okay. I knew you would get it. I just needed to…” She stopped herself. “So,”

“Yeah.” Was all that Jim could say.

“Ryan told me you were looking for me.”

Jim looked at her with a surprised look. “So you and Ryan are in cahoots now?”

“I guess. Now that you’re leaving, I need…”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He interrupted.

Pam sat there in shock. “What?”

“I didn’t get it. They are looking at someone else.” He said. He never enjoyed lying to her.

“Oh. I'm sorry.”

“Its okay. You know, maybe its just…”

“Yeah. I hear you.”

“Listen, Pam.” “Jim, I…” They said at the same time.

Jim smiled. “I think I should go first. You did after all somehow MacGyver a letter into my possession without my knowing, so.” He said. Pam smiled. “I read your letter. And… I cant even say how it makes me feel.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don’t be. I finally got to hear what was really going on. And, though its quite possibly the worst timing in the world, I needed it.”

Pam just stared blankly.

“Pam, I know that ever since I got back things have been weird. I know, and I'm sorry. But I couldn’t be the same as before. Not after…”

“I was an idiot.”

“I read that. Somewhere.” He said. “But, Pam, I still cant,”

“I know, because of Karen.”

“No. Because I feel like the new me, the one that evolved from grape soda to the healthier choice of water, cant go back.”

Pam nodded.

“But, no matter what, I still want to be the guy you come to for pranks on Dwight and getting out of Michael meetings.”

“Okay.” She said. “Although, I'm pretty sure my last encounter with Karen…”

“Will be your last.” Jim interrupted. He looked at her. “After I read your letter, after reading what you said, I broke up with Karen.”

”Jim.”

“I cant pretend to be happy with someone, when all I can think about is the one that couldn’t.”

Pam couldn’t believe it. She thought it was a dream.

“Pam. I have been waiting for you to say all this for… 4 years now.” He dug the letter out of his pocket. “Better late than never.”

“Okay.” Was all that Pam could let out.

Jim smiled. “Okay?”

“I mean, I needed to say it, because you were leaving.”

“So, now that I'm not, you take it back??”

“No, no no no. I just… I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

Pam was honestly confused.

“Are you free for dinner tonight?” He asked.

“What?”

“Go out with me. Tonight. Dinner. Eating a meal together. Somewhere that is preferably not an office break room.”

Pam stared. “Yes.”