“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Rolando.”

“Hey. Quick, say something important.”

“Umm… don’t wear horizontal stripes?”

“No, I’m sorry, he’s not in right now, can I take a message?”

“Michael on the prowl again?”

“Mm-hmm… okay, he’s gone. Thanks. I don’t think I could take another suggestion for how to bag a date. So far I should either get knocked up or find some really old rich guy that doesn’t mind that I’ve been engaged before.”

“Well I’m glad I could save you from that. So how are you?”

“Good, good. I, umm, did something today that could either be considered really mature or really stupid. Up for your interpretation.”

“Spill.”

“Well Jim and Karen have been having a problem about living arrangements and, anyway, he kind of asked for my advice?”

“Please tell me you told him to dump that bitch.”

“Rolando! She’s not that bad.”

“Whatever. Continue.”

“And I kind of helped him… fix it.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did. And, I don’t know, it was kind of like shoving a letter opener through my heart, or something, but I guess that’s part of moving on? What do you think?”

“I think you’re a brave little toaster that should be selfish more often. But it sounds promising.”

“Thanks.”

“Well I have to go. Lou is getting out of that meeting with Jan in five minutes and he wanted me to defrost his car windows. Oops. I swear, he needs to be fired pronto. He spends about ten percent of his time here being a regional manager and the other ninety percent talking his mistress out of tattling to his wife. Tragic.”

“Good luck with that. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, hon.”