“I’m cold.”

“How? You’ve got a bajillion blankets over there.”

“Umm, maybe because this place doesn’t appear to have central heating?”

“Point.”

“What are you doing?”

“Pushing the beds together.”

“Oh. Why didn’t we think of that before?”

“Probably because this situation feels strangely like a co-ed sleepover and we didn’t want to get grounded.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Hey! That’s just cruel. Your toes are like stubby little icicles.”

“But your thigh is so warm.”

“So you decided to punish it?”

“I can think of other ways to get toasty. If you’d prefer?”

…


“Oh! Oh, yeah. Righ-ri-right there.”

“Shhh.”

“Shh? Really?”

“I don’t want Dwight to come busting in here because he’s convinced the room is infested with raccoons. I think that would be scarring for all involved.”

“Wait. Are you saying my sex noises resemble those of a woodland creature?”

“Umm… no?”

“Goodnight.”

“Oh come on, Pam, don’t turn away. I think it’s cute.”

“Oh yeah? Maybe you should go find Rocky or Thumper to hump instead.”

“Nice rhyme.”

“Thank you.”

“Just… please come back? I’m delirious with exhaustion; I can’t be held accountable for my words.”

“Jim! Stop that, it tickles! Stop- d-don’t stop. Oh god.”

“How are your toes now?”