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From: pbeesly@dundermifflin.com

To: jhalpert@dundermifflin.com

Subject: One kiss, two kiss, red fish, blue fish 

Jim,

Karen told me today that you told her about kissing me. I don't think you'll ever know how much you hurt me by sharing that with her. Obviously our kisses didn't mean nearly as much to you as they did to me. But they meant EVERYTHING to me. Still do. That's why I told Kelly to set me up with one of Ryan's friends from business school in the break room today. You hurt me, so I tried to hurt you back. It feels like that's all we ever do anymore.

Do you remember that line from V for Vendetta? 'I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again.' I still haven't kissed anyone since you kissed me. I haven't wanted to. I'm not sure I ever will. Not even Roy. One of the reasons I broke off my wedding was because I couldn't stand to have his lips anywhere near me after yours.

My god, how pathetic am I? I'm sure you and Karen kiss all the time. She also asked today if I was still interested in you. What else could I do but lie and say no? So I lied and said no. I'm not sure she believed me. I don't think I was very convincing.

I guess I want to say… you never misinterpreted anything. I was scared. I was stupid. I lied. I know it's months too late, but I'm so sorry.

As much as I wish we could be happy together, I wish more for you to just be happy. You really should get more sleep. I worry about you.

Even as much as you hurt me today, this email wasn't angry either. Guess I kinda suck at being mad at you. At some point these letters kinda shifted from angry to being more like… a diary. I think I like that. Maybe Dr. Pepper was on to something after all (long story, don't ask).

So… are you happy?

Love,

Pam

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