PMB's Diary: DO NOT OPEN (PENNY) by beth9501
Summary:

It's 1995 and 16 year old Pam thinks she has everything figured out. All she wants is to be an artist, find a nice boy to fall in love with, and continue to think that everything happens for a reason.

The summer after her 16th birthday everything comes crashing down. Pam's life as she knew it begins to change. The perfect cocoon of a life she had originally had begins to crumble.

 


Categories: Jim and Pam, Present, Past, Future, Alternate Universe Characters: Jim/Pam, Pam, Pam/Other, Pam/Roy
Genres: Childhood, Fluff, Inner Monologue
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Challenges: Another Decade
Challenges: Another Decade
Series: None
Chapters: 31 Completed: Yes Word count: 21168 Read: 25982 Published: February 05, 2020 Updated: June 09, 2023
Thursday, January 1, 1998 by beth9501
Author's Notes:
Another month gone...so a short update!

Why does it feel like every year end is filled with regret and sadness? You could have spent the night before ringing the new year in but as soon as Auld Lang Syne begins playing I feel like I should be reevaluating my life. It’s the bittersweet feeling of an end where the beginning is more of a mystery. How will you define the upcoming year? How will you put into words exactly how you changed in the previous one? I’m not entirely sad, it’s just funny seeing how much has changed in my life in the last year.


Jim says I should change my major to philosophy based on how introspective of the world I’m getting. Eh, I like art too much. BUT, I did sign up for an introduction to philosophy course to fulfill some of my extracurricular activities. Jim signed up for it too so we can be together. I can’t wait! I’m sure he’ll spend so much time not paying attention to the teacher and instead trying to distract me as well. Which would be just great if we both fail.


I’m home right now because of the holidays. Jim came to visit my family right before Christmas. It was so great to see him interacting with everyone. Grandma pulled my aside to tell me he was a keeper. He really knows how to turn the charm on that’s for sure!


Jim and I went into New York City last night to get the full effect of a new year's celebration in the city and oh, my. What chaos. Exciting, energizing, but draining chaos. I knew I was a homebody and introverted, but I never felt it in my bones until last night. It was nice though, we shared a sweet midnight kiss. Then we went back to the hotel and yeah...yeah.


I must say, we rang the new year in well.


I really hope my family never reads this. I’m blushing as I write, but we don’t need them to actually read it.


We ordered room service this morning and I had one of those, “Wow, I’m an actual adult right now” moments. It sank in as we munched on bacon while wearing those fluffy robes you only see on TV. I felt like a celebrity. I don’t even want to know how much it’s costing, but Jim said it was his treat. So nice of him!


I really lucked out didn’t I?


It was kind of funny because I was reading through my journal earlier and two years ago on this date I was talking about how wonderful Roy was, but you could just tell I didn’t feel it. There was something missing with him. I’m glad it’s not missing with Jim. I mean, sometimes I do get frustrated with him, but come on, such is life.


Oh, we did have an argument last week! I was complaining about some crap, I don’t even remember at this point, but I do remember he called me out on something and my anger transferred to him. Clearly it wasn’t a big deal since I can’t remember what it even was.


I guess that’s a good thing!


Anyway, I’m ready to go back to school where I can see him everyday. This whole long distance thing is really putting a cramp in things.


Until next time!

End Notes:
This was easily the quickest summer of my life. How's everyone doing in life? Fall is my favorite season, so I'm ready. It's seems to be the semi-saving grace of my 2020.
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