It is a normal Thursday at Dunder Mifflin, except there's a small feeling of excitement in the air as people are trying to finish their work quickly since it's almost Christmas and they are stopping early for the Christmas party at 1pm. 

Pam is still sitting at reception, idly playing Solitaire and trying not to notice the way Karen is standing against Jim's desk talking about her Christmas plans to him.

'I really wish you could come with me Halpert. Filippelli Christmas parties are always a blast.'

'Because of all the alcohol that's being consumed?' Jim smiles at her.

'Well, that helps. But, I'd love for you to meet my family too.'

When Pam hears Karen say this, she can't help but look up at them. She notices Jim's neck tense up and she smirks to herself. She just knows he's not ready to meet the folks. After all, they have only been dating a couple months.

Jim sighs. 'Sorry Karen. As I told you before, the Halpert's put on a pretty big shindig too and I promised I would be there.'

'Yeah, I know. Ok, then we'll party tonight and when I get back we'll go out, just you and me.'

At that proclamation Pam turns her head back to her computer and continues her game. Just as she puts the last card on the pile and the cards do the 'pffffttt...' thing she loves her cell phone rings.

Jim is trying really hard to focus on what Karen is saying and finishing his e-mail to one of his customers when he realizes that Pam's voice is rising in urgency.

'What?! Pen....no, I understand. I just can't believe....where is mom? Oh my God!...Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can. Yeah, tell mom I love her.' She hangs up her cell phone.

Jim turns around to look at her. Pam is staring at her computer and has turned a ghostly shade of pale.

He gets up and walks behind the reception desk to her. 'Hey Beesly, what's going on? Are you ok?'

Pam slowly turns in her chair to where Jim is standing but looks at the floor. 'My sister just called. My dad had a heart attack. He didn't make it.'

Jim feels his stomach drop at her words.  'Oh my god! Pam...I'm so sorry. What can I do?'

Pam stands up, still not looking at him. 'I need to go too the hospital. That's where my mom and sister are.'

'Yeah, of course. I'll drive you. You're in no condition to drive.'

'No, stay. The party is in a little bit. I'll....'

As she says these words, her knees buckle and she collapses into Jim. He easily scoops her up and takes her to the couch in the waiting area where he gently lays her down.

He smooths her hair back and stares down at her closed eyes. 'Dammit Pam. I am so sorry.'

Behind him the bullpen erupts and people hurry over to Jim and Pam.

Michael reaches them first. 'Oh my god Pam! She needs to go to the hospital! STAT!'

Next is Dwight, right by Michael's side. 'I can take her. I am a professional escorter.'

 Michael turns behind him. 'Phyllis, boil some water and get some fresh sheets!'

Kelly comes out of the annex to see what the excitement's about. 'Oh my god! Is Pam pregnant?'

Kevin says 'Someone should call 911.'

Michael: 'Yes, good thinking. Oscar, call nine hundred and eleven.' 

Jim stands up as people are crowding around the couch and all are talking over each other. 'Hey everyone. Pam is physically ok. She's just had a major shock all right? We don't need to call an ambulance. Just back off and give her some air.'

People start backing away as Pam's eyes flutter open.

Jim turns back to Pam and hears Phyllis say, "I'll get her some water.' 

'Thanks Phyllis.'

He kneels down in front of Pam and takes her hand in his. 'Hey there Beesly.'

She looks up at him for a moment and seems confused. 

'Jim?'

'Yeah, you passed out for a minute, so I put you on the couch.'

Pam slowly sits up with Jim's help. 'Oh.' After a minute he can tell she remembers what happened and her face crumples as she starts to cry. 'Oh no. What am I going to do without him?'

Jim puts his arm around her shoulder as he sits with her and lets her cry into his chest. 'I wish I could tell you Beesly. I wish I could make everything ok for you.'

Pam nods slightly. 

Jim speaks again into her hair. 'I'll take you to the hospital.'

Pam pulls back slightly and looks at him. 'What about Karen? I don't want to make you do that.'

'You're not making me do anything. I will take you there. Just hang out here for a bit.'  He gets up and walks to Michael's office and closes the door. 

Pam sits and stares at the activity going on around her. People have gone back to business as usual. A few seconds later Phyllis brings her a cup of water and sits next to her.

'Here you go honey. Just take small sips.'

Pam takes the cup offered her and just stares at it. 'Thanks Phyllis.'

'Are you okay dear?'

Pam sniffs a little. 'My dad just died.'

Phyllis gasps. 'Oh no. Oh dear, I am so sorry. I figured it had to be something like that.'

Pam finally takes a sip of water and Phyllis pats her hand. 'Good thing Jim was there. You just crumpled and would've hit the floor hard for sure.'

'Yeah.'

Phyllis looks at Michael's closed door and sees Jim leaning over Michael's desk talking to him. 'That young man is something else. He sure cares a lot about you.' 

'He's dating Karen.'

'I know dear. But, i also know that he's never looked at her the way he looks at you.'

   Pam takes another sip and looks over to Karen's desk. Karen is staring at her computer, but not moving. A moment later she turns her head to look at Phyllis and smiles slightly. 'Well, I guess there's a lot of history between us.'

'You love him, don't you?'

Pam looks over to see Jim still talking to Michael. 'Very much.'

'Tell him dear. Let him know. He deserves to know and actually, so does Karen.'

At that moment Michael's door opens and Jim walks out, smiles softly at Pam and crosses over to talk to Karen for a moment. 

Pam watches this and turns to Phyllis. 'I will.'

Jim walks back to Pam and Phyllis after his conversation  with Karen. Phyllis gives Pam a hug. 'Let me know if you need anything dear.'

'Thanks Phyllis.'

She stands up and Jim says 'Thanks Phyllis.'

'Of course. You take care of her now, ok?' She winks at him and walks over to her desk.

Jim turns to Pam. 'You ready to go?'

Pam stands up. 'As much as I'll ever be.'

They walk out together and Jim puts his arm around Pam's shoulders. Pam knows he's doing that to help keep her steady, but she immediately feels warm and safe at his touch.

They go downstairs and walk to his car. He opens the passenger side for her, waits for her to get in and shuts it behind her. He then gets into his side and starts the car. Pam feels so grateful that he's sitting next to her, ready to do whatever she needs from him. 

They arrive at the hospital a little while later. Jim gets out and runs around the car so he can open the door and holds his hand out for Pam. She looks at it, then up at him. She takes his hand and stands up. He smiles at her and reaches behind her to shut the door.  

He then asks, 'Do you want me to come in with you?'

Pam gulps, 'yes please.' Mostly, she just doesn't want to let go of his hand.

They walk into the hospital and go to the information center. Pam gives her father's name and they are instructed on how to get where her family is waiting.

She holds Jim's hand tighter as they walk through white, antiseptic halls. As they near where her mother and sister are sitting, waiting,  Jim squeezes her hand. She looks over at him and he smiles at her again. 

'Whatever you need.' He whispers to her.

She finally lets go of his hand when her mom stands up and she hugs her and starts to cry. 

Jim stands near the women, not really sure what to do. Penny (he recognizes her from photos right away) smiles softly at him, then also hugs Pam.

Helene Beesly turns to Jim and says. 'It's so good to see you again Jim. I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances.'

'Me too.'

Pam lets go of Penny and turns back to Jim. 'You haven't met my sister Penny yet. This is Jim.'

Penny reaches out her hand to Jim's to shake. 'Of course, Jim. It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you.'

Jim smiles at this but thinks to himself 'a lot? Like what? What has Pam said?'

Out loud he says, 'Nice to meet you too.'  He turns back to Helene. 'I'm so sorry for your loss. Please let me know what I can do for you all.'

Helene pats his arm. 'Oh, thank you sweetheart. We were planning on going back to the house now that all the paperwork is done.' She stops for a moment and looks at the floor. 'I just don't know what I'm going to do without him.' 

Pam and Penny give their mom another hug. Then Pam pulls back and looks at her mom. 'Can I, ummm, see him?'

'The doctor said you could go in that room if you want to. That's where he is. He said pull the sheet back, but don't touch the body.' 

Pam gulps. 'Ok.' She looks at Jim and he gives her a look as she slightly nods, so he goes in with her.

As they enter the room Jim notices how quiet and dark it is. Behind a drawn curtain is a gurney with a body still on it. Pam moves forward and Jim stays close behind her in case she feels dizzy again.

She pulls the sheet back and Jim sees a man who slightly resembles a picture Pam had showed him once of her father. 

Jim hears Pam gasp. 'It just doesn't look like him. I know it's him, but he's just not there. Does that make sense?' 

'Yeah it does.'

Pam's hand stars to flutter around her father's face. She obviously wants to touch him, but knows she's not allowed. 

She wraps her arms around herself and starts to cry. Jim puts his hands on her shoulders and she turns into him and wraps her arms around his waist. He holds her as she continues to cry. He's not sure what else to do for her at the moment.  

Pam softly says, 'That's my daddy. Oh my God Jim, why did this happen?'

Jim kisses the top of her head and keeps holding her. 'I don't know Beesly, I wish I had some magic words for you.'

She pulls back a little and looks up at him. Tears are still flowing down her cheeks, her mascara is running and her face is splotchy, but he still thinks she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.  She keeps staring at him and he realizes that she's going to kiss him, but suddenly she shakes her head a little and takes a step back and looks at the floor. 

'Thanks Jim. I'm ready to leave now.'

'Ok.' he goes to the gurney and pulls the sheet back over the man he'll never meet in life. 

He then turns and follows Pam back out to the hallway.  

Helene and Penny stand up when they come out and hug again and hold each other, but don't say anything. Jim stands off to the side awkwardly. 

After a moment everyone lets go of each other and turn to leave the hospital.

Helene says, 'We're going back to the house. There should be some food at home. Jim, you're more than welcome to come over.'

Pam is walking next to him down the hall and holds his hand. Jim looks at her and she mouths 'please?' at him. 'Of course Mrs. Beesly, I would love to come over.'

'Please, call me Helene. Ok, then we'll meet you there?'

 Pam agrees. 'Yeah, we will be there right after you.'

'All right dears.' She smiles a little and she and Penny walk in a different direction than Jim and Pam.

They get to his car and Jim turns to her. 'Michael said to let you know to take off as much time as you need. He said that he'll bring your Secret Santa gift over to your place later. he also said to let you know to call him if you need anything.'

Pam smiles a little thinking of her crazy boss. 'He really is a sweet guy. Just says and does the wrong things sometimes.'

Jim laughs. 'Yep.'

'Jim, I really don't mean to take you away from the party and any festivities you have planned with Karen.'

'It's ok. Really. She understands that we are friends and that I just want to be there for you right now.'

Pam looks up at him. 'Thanks again. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here.' 

'You won't have to find out.'

They hug and hold each other for awhile as he leans against his car while holding her. he realizes that she is the love of his life, but what she needs now is a friend, so that's what he's going to be for her.

They get to her parents house a little later, and once again  he runs around the car to open the door for her. She takes his offered hand and climbs out of the car. Jim notices that there are a couple cars parked in front of the house.  

Pam also notices. 'Looks like word is already getting out.'

'Oh.'

This time instead of holding her hand, he puts his arm around her waist and walks with her to the door. 

Pam opens the door and steps in the house, not sure if she's ready for this, but so thankful to have Jim by her side, basically holding her up.

As soon as she steps into the house she is overwhelmed by sounds and smells. Penny comes up to them and says, 'People are dropping in, offering their condolences and bringing food.'

'Oh, that's nice.'

Pam and Jim go further into the house and see her mom sitting on the couch surrounded by several people.

Helene looks up at them. 'Oh, hello dears. As soon as we got home our neighbors started coming over bringing food. Why don't you go in the kitchen and help yourselves?' 

   Pam says hello to her parents neighbors then she and Jim go to the kitchen. There's numerous bowls and platters of food to eat. She notices a couple bouquets of flowers also and a couple cards.

Pam murmurs, 'That's nice that people did that.'

'Yes it is. Are you hungry?'

Pam thinks for a moment. 'Not really. I think I'll just have some tea. But, you help yourself.'

Jim takes one of the plates on the counter and helps himself to a casserole. 'You sure? You should have something to eat.'

Pam feels her stomach rolling around like she's going to be sick. 'Not now. Maybe later.'

'Ok Beesly.'

They go into the dining area and sit at the table to eat. Penny joins them a few minutes later. She's also not eating and is drinking some rum and Coke. 

She says, 'Man, this is overwhelming.'

'Yeah, it is.'

'Mom said he wasn't feeling good this morning, then passed out at work and never woke back up.'

'Oh my god.'

'Yeah.'

They all sit quietly for a moment.

Finally Penny says, 'I told mom we'd help her call people to let them know what happened. She wants us to figure out when and where to have the memorial service this evening.' 

Pam nods. 'Ok.'

Penny stares down at her drink. 'You know that these things happen. Parents are supposed to go before the kids, but I never thought it would be so soon.'

Pam pats Penny's hand. 'I know sis. It almost doesn't feel real, does it?'

Penny looks up and there are tears in her eyes. 'No. No, it does not. I keep expecting him to walk in the door any minute now.'

'Yeah.' Jim puts his hand on hers and she looks at him and smiles a little.

They continue to talk about memories of their father for awhile. Later in the evening Helene comes into the dining room and sits at the table with the other three.

She sighs heavily. 'Everyone's gone. That sure is tiring.' She turns to Pam and Penny. 'Girls, I have a list of people who need to be called and we can split it in three if you're both ok with that.'

Pam says, 'Of course mom.'

Penny nods.

Helene continues, 'And, I would like to talk to you both about the memorial.'

Pam gulps. "ok.' She knew they had to do this, but she's not ready for it. She wonders, are you ever ready for this?

They spend some time deciding on how to word his obituary, on music and pictures and a eulogy for the service. They decide on a time for the memorial (after Christmas) and decide to let others get up and say some words about Will Beesly if they want to.  

Once again Pam is so grateful to have Jim next to her, who has been holding her hand the whole time.

Later in the evening they are all yawning and Helene says they have discussed things enough and that they can talk more the next day.

Penny stays with their mom for the night and Pam and Jim get up to leave. There are hugs all around and Helene thanks Jim for coming and being there for Pam. 

When Jim drives her to her apartment, they sit in the car for awhile.

Jim asks, 'Would you like me to come up for a bit?'

'Yes please.'

'Ok.'

They go up to Pam's apartment and she gives him a quick tour. he makes a joke about the one kitchen and looks through her artwork. Pam goes to her bedroom and changes into some sweats. She comes back out and Jim hands her a cup of tea.

Pam smiles as she takes the mug. 'How did you know?'

'Because I know you Beesly.'

'Thanks.'

'Do you feel like eating now?'

'Actually I do.' She goes to the freezer and shows him miscellaneous pints of ice cream. 'You want some?'

Jim laughs and takes a pint of mint chocolate chip. Pam takes Karamel Sutra by Ben and Jerry's. They go to the couch and sit and dive into the ice cream.

They sit silently for awhile and finally Pam speaks. 'I keep thinking about the little things, you know? Like how he always called me sweetheart, how he noticed when I did something different with my hair, his voice when he sang along to his favorite songs, how proud he was when I learned to drive, stories he would come up with when putting me to bed when I was little. Not the big things.' She turns and looks at Jim. 'Why do you think that is?'

'I don't know. I haven't lost very many people in my life. My grandfather died when I was nine of cancer. I don't have very many memories of him, but he was very beloved. One of my favorite memories is of his pipe. He didn't smoke cigarettes, just the pipe. Now, when I smell that aroma, I think of him.' 

 'Huh, weird how our minds do that.'

'Yeah, maybe it's to help us to grieve.'

'Yeah, maybe.'

She sits quietly again and eats more of her ice cream. Finally she says 'Do you want to stay the night?'

Jim looks over at her, but she is staring into her ice cream. 'Sure, I can sleep on the couch for a night.'

Pam, still looking into her ice cream. 'You can stay with me, in my bed. I just mean....I don't know if I will be able to fall asleep and I think it will help having you there.'

'Oh, ok. Uh, yeah, I could do that.'

Pam stands up. 'Great. Thanks.' She walks to the kitchen and throws away their cartons of ice cream. 'I'm going to get ready for bed then. I'll let you know when it is safe to come in.' She turns around and smirks a bit at him.

Jim chuckles. 'Ok Beesly.'

Pam changes into a night shirt and shorts. She goes through her nightly rituals, then goes to the bed and pulls the covers down.

She suddenly feels very nervous. What is she doing inviting Jim into her bed? She doesn't even know which side he likes to sleep on. She opens her door and goes to tell Jim that he doesn't have to stay with her, when she hears his voice and realizes he is on the phone. 

He sounds upset. 'I don't know what you mean, she's my friend....I just want to be there for her right now and help her out with all of this...that's not true....that wasn't my intention Karen...I know...yeah, yeah, you're right....well, I am sorry if that's the way you feel....ok, ok...goodbye.'

Pam turns and quietly goes back to her bedroom.  A minute later there is a light knock on the door.

  'Beesly, you decent?'

'Yeah, come on in.'

Jim comes in and sits next to her on the bed.

They're both silent for a minute. Pam looks over at him. 'Are you ok?'

Jim looks straight ahead. 'I just broke up with Karen.'

'Oh Jim, I'm so sorry.'

'Yeah. Well, I hope you have an extra toothbrush, because I don't want your cooties.'

Pam gets up and lightly swats his arm. 'Come on Halpert. I'll show you where everything is.'

While Jim is getting ready for bed in the bathroom, Pam gets under the covers and waits for him. He comes in just in his undershirt and boxers. He turns off the overhead light since she has a lamp on next to the bed. He gets in to the other side of the bed. 

They both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Pam reaches over and turns off the lamp. She can make out where he is with the outside streetlamp streaming through her windows. She then rolls over to face Jim. He turns over and faces her. He gently reaches out and strokes her cheek. Pam feels tears well up in her eyes.

He says, 'It's starting to snow.'

'I love the snow.'

'I know.'

Pam is quiet for a moment. 'I'm really sorry about Karen. Is she mad?' 

'I think she is frustrated more than anything. I guess people at the party were talking about our relationship.'

'Oh.'

'It wasn't right, the way I treated her. She was more of a friend, than a girlfriend. I think she has stronger feelings for me than I do for her. I just cannot love someone else when I'm still so in love with the receptionist.'

Pam puts her hand on his arm and rubs it up and down. 'My dad dying is making me realize things. I know my dad knew how much I loved him, but life is short. You never know when it's your time to go. It's a cliche, but it's true.  I need to let people who are important to me know how much they mean to me. Starting with you.' 

Jim runs his hand through her hair. 'Oh Pam.'

Pam stars silently crying. The tears run down her face and hit her pillowcase.

'I love you. I have always loved you and I always will. That night, things got so screwed up. I said the wrong thing and I am so sorry. I was confused, surprised and just, I guess, scared. I miss you so much. I should have called you everyday in Stamford and begged you to come home to me. You are my best friend, you are my partner in crime and you are my soulmate. I am so in love with you Jim Halpert and I am so sorry for screwing things up so badly.'

Jim's eyes are also welling up as she makes this declaration. 'Pam, I just...wow! I didn't realize you felt this way.'

Now Pam is really crying and Jim wipes the tears away with his thumbs. 'Please, don't leave me again.'

'Never. Never will I leave you again. Pamela Beesly, you are the love of my life.'

Pam tried to smile through her tears. 'Oh, thank God.'

Jim chuckles a little. 'I want to be with you and only you.'

Pam reaches over and hugs him. He hugs her back and she buries her face in his chest and continues to cry.

Jim rubs his hand up and down her back. 'Oh Beesly, It's ok. We are ok. I am sorry I've been so cold to you. I was trying to protect my heart, but you have always owned it. I just didn't realize you felt the same way.'

'I know. I wanted to tell you, but I thought I had lost you for good.'

'Never. You understand?' He pulls back a little. She lifts her head. 'I will always love you.'

'Jim... God, I love you so much.'

She leans up towards him a little and he meets her partway in a kiss. They both moan a little when their lips meet. As they continue their kiss, Pam decides to be a little bit bold and licks his bottom lip to get him to open his mouth to her. She groans when he willingly opens to her.

He pulls back and looks down at her. She lifts her hand and palms his cheek. He kisses her forehead, then the tip of her nose. 

Jim wraps his arms around her back and turns so that he's on his back and she's on top of him, laying her cheek on his chest and hearing his heartbeat.

Pam feels like she's in a warm cocoon. He rubs his hands up and down her back and kisses the top of her head. 'I love you so much Beesly.'

'Jim, please don't let me go.'

'I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you.'

Pam feels like she has so much more to say to him, but at that moment, sleep comes to her on a cloud and the last thing she remembers thinking is 'finally.' 

Jim lays awake for awhile longer and fells more at peace than he has in a long time as he holds Pam while she falls asleep.

  His emotions are at war with one another. On one hand he has never been happier that he and Pam are finally together. On the other hand, he's very sad for Pam and what she's going through having lost her father. He does not know what he would do without his dad. 

He is determined to be there for her and whatever she needs from him.

He runs his hand through her hair and thinks about what a future with her could look like.

She loves him! He always thought so, but to actually hear her say it out loud means everything.  

Pam snores a little and Jim smiles to himself, then closes his eyes and fells himself giving into dreams.

The next morning when Jim wakes up it takes him a second to remember where he is. 

Pam is still asleep in his arms. He runs his hands trough her hair and over her back as he yawns and wakes up.

Pam stirs and mumbles something as she slowly wakes up.  

Jim feels a little apprehensive as to how she's going to react when she realizes that he is still there, in her bed.

Pam moves her head and puts her chin on to of her hands and looks up at him. "Good morning Halpert.' 

He smiles down at her and kisses her forehead. 'Morning Beesly. How did you sleep?' 

'Really good actually. I think you are like a sleeping pill for me. How did you sleep?' 

'Good. Except for the snoring.'

'What? I don't snore!' She slaps him on the shoulder and he smiles at her.  

Pam then completely rolls off of him and turns to her side, facing him. 'Hey Jim, I want you to know what last night meant to me.'

Jim turns to her noticing the sudden serious tone she is taking. 'Ok.'

Pam puts her hand on his cheek. 'I feels so conflicted. I should be so sad and grieving my dad and I am, but I am also so happy that you and I are finally together. I love you more than I can ever tell you and I'm sorry about all the stuff that happened before.' 

'I'm sorry too honey. I wish we could re-do the last seven months. But, you are changing and have grown so much. I'm so proud of who you have become.' 

Pam blushes a bit at this. 'Thanks. But, last night was more than just a comfort thing for me. I want to be with you Jim. Permanently.'

Jim smiles bigger than he has in months. 'Oh Beesly, that is all I've ever wanted.'

He reaches out and hugs her and she buries her face in his embrace. 'I really love you Jim.' He hears muffled against his shoulder.' 

'Me too, me too.'

Finally, after a few minutes they break their embrace. Jim asks, 'So, what's on the agenda today?'

'Shower, breakfast and going over to my parents to see what my mom needs.'

'Ok. Count me in.'

Pam looks at him. 'What did I do to deserve you?'

'Just being your amazing self.'

They get up and have breakfast, and get ready to go to Pam's parents house.  

This early in the morning, the only other car there is Penny's.

They go in and find Penny and Helene going through old photos.  

Helene looks up when Jim and Pam come in. 'Hello dears. We are going through photos of your father that I'm going to send on to the funeral home. Sit down and help. I'll go put some coffee on.' She gets up and goes to the kitchen as Jim and Pam sit next to Penny to go through pictures.  

Penny says, 'This pile are the ones we like so far. We can all decide together which ones to send on.'

Pam takes a stack of pictures to look at. 'Ok.'

Jim enjoys hearing stories from Pam and Penny about growing  up with William Beesly as a father. He sees that Pam got her quiet, shy nature from her father.  

  When Helene comes back out to the living room, she says, 'We also need to pick out some music to play during the service. Let me know if there's some songs you girls think would be appropriate.'

Pam looks down at the floor and says 'I remember him singing "You Are the Sunshine of my Life' by Stevie Wonder to me when I was little.' 

'That's a great song'

Penny adds, 'How about Butterfly Kisses? It's sappy, but it works.'

'Yes, I'll tell the funeral home about these choices.'

She leaves and someone rings the doorbell. Penn gets up to answer it.  

A minute later they hear her voice. 'Pam, some people are here to see you.'

Pam gets up and Jim decides to follow her. They go to the front door to find Michael, Dwight, Oscar, Kelly, Phyllis and Toby standing there.  

Michael speaks first. 'Pamela, we wanted to share our conditions with you.'

Oscar corrects him. 'Condolences Michael.'

'Whatevs. Jimbo, didn't know you would be here.'

'Yeah, I'm helping Pam with whatever she needs.'

'I'm sure you are.' 

Pam invites everyone into the house and they sit and talk. As the time goes on more people arrive. Neighbors, friends and relatives come to pay their respects.  

Jim stays by Pam's side the whole time and holds her hand. He can tell that she seems overwhelmed by it all.  

After a couple hours of talking to people about her father, Pam gets up and excuses herself. Jim follows her. 

  'Hey, are you all right?' 

  Pam nods a little, but is looking at the floor. 'Yeah, I just need a break. I'm going to use the bathroom.'

'Ok.' He kisses the top of her head and watches her silently climb the stairs. He goes back to the living room and sits on the couch next to Penny.

After about fifteen minutes he stars to worry when Pam does not come back. He looks anxiously to the doorway every few seconds.  

Penny leans a little closer to him and whispers, 'She is probably in her old bedroom. Second door on the left upstairs.'

Jim looks over at her and she smiles at him. 'Thanks Penny.' 

He gets up and goes up the stairs to the door she pointed out.  

He stops at the closed door and decides whether or not he should knock. After a moment he hears a very quiet sniffling coming from inside the room and opens the door.

Pam is lying on top of her old bed curled up in a ball on her side. Jim hears her quietly crying, so he closes her door and walks  to the other side of the bed.  

He looks down at her and she looks up at him. Her eyes are red and tears are flowing freely.

'Hey Beesly.'

'Hi.'

She scoots over a little on the bed and pats the other side, inviting him to lay down next to her.

He lays down opposite her, on his side also and puts his arm around her middle and rubs her back. She buries her face in his chest.  

  'Awww, Bees. I wish there was some magic words I could say to you to help you feel better.'

'I know. I just had to get out of there.'

'I get it. It's a bit overwhelming isn't it?'

Pam just nods and puts her arm around his shoulders and they lay there holding each other.  

After awhile Jim realizes that he hasn't heard any sniffling for a bit. he looks down at her and sees her eyes are closed and she's fallen asleep. He kisses her hair and feels sleep start to take him over also.  

A few minutes later Helene comes upstairs when she wonders what happened to Jim and Pam. She quietly opens Pam's bedroom door and sees the couple holding each other and sleeping soundly.

She backs out and closes the door again and smiles to herself, happy knowing that her daughter has found the right man for her. 

Pam wakes up sometime later, confused for a moment as to where she is. She sees Jim still sleeping next to her and after a moment, she remembers that she's at her parents house, in her old childhood bedroom.

She watches Jim sleeping for awhile and smiles. She feels so fortunate to have him in her life. To think she almost completely lost him. She loves him so much and she was in a deep depression while he was in Stamford and even for a short while after he came back. She was so jealous of Karen. She knows that. Well, Jim was with her now and she decides to make sure he knows how much she loves him. 

As she's having these thoughts, she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

She silently cries, trying not to make any noise and wake him up.

Unfortunately though, she has to sniffle and that wakes Jim up. When he opens his eyes and sees that Pam is crying again, he reaches over and lightly kisses her tears.

'Oh Beesly. I'm so sorry honey.'

Pam cries more. 'It's not that. I mean, yeah, it is that...it's not just that though, it's also that....God, what am I trying to say? I love you and I don't know what I would have done without you...and I just love you....I don't think you know how much and I don't know what I can do to show you how much. Am I making any sense?' 

Jim reaches over and hugs her. She squeezes him back so hard. She doesn't ever want to let go of him.

'Oh Pam, you are my world. Do you understand that? If you're hurting, I'm hurting. If you're happy, I'm happy. I promise you, I'll never let you go again.'

Pam lets him go and looks up at him. Then she holds her pinky out at him. He smiles and wraps his pinky around hers. 'Pinky swear.' He then kisses the back of her hand.

She smiles a little then sits up. He sits up behind her and wraps his arms around her. 'You ready to go home?'

'Yeah, I think so. I need to talk to mom and say goodbye to whoever's still here.' 

'Ok.'

She turns a little in his embrace. 'Tomorrow's Christmas eve. What are you doing?'

'Well, nothing now. I was going to spend sometime with Karen.'

Pam looks down. 'Oh...yeah. Well, I'm sure mom expects me and Penny to be here on Christmas day, but maybe not tomorrow. Can you and I have our own Christmas tomorrow?' 

Jim smiles. 'You bet. I am supposed to go to my parents on Christmas day. It is a huge Halpert thing, but tomorrow, I'm all yours.' 

"Great.'

'What do you want to do?'

'Ummm, bake some goodies, listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas movies, cuddle with you.'

'That sounds well, ummm...perfect.' He leans over and softly kisses her. 'I love you Beesly.'

Pam pushes an errant lock of his hair off of his forehead. 'I love you too Halpert.'

'All right then, it's a date.'

Pam smiles. 'How about tonight?'

'Do you want me to come over again? You are not bored of me yet?' 

'How could I be bored of you? Besides, we have got time to make up for.'

Jim gets off of the bed and walks around to her. 'You're so right. I should go home and get some stuff, then I'm all yours.' He pulls her up and she wraps her arms around his back so she can stand in his embrace.

She then looks up at him and he kisses her. When she pulls back she murmurs, 'I love kissing you.'

'Good thing I'm never going to stop then.'

They leave her room and go downstairs together. The house is much quieter than it was before.

They find Helene in the kitchen talking to her sister Anne and Pam's cousins. She sees Jim and Pam. 

'Hi kids. So, everything is all set for the service. It is going to be December 27th at 11:00 am at Nabor funeral home. Then we will have a wake here afterward.'

'Ok mom.'

'We are having it catered so we don't have to worry about that.'

Jim says, 'That's a good idea.'

'Yes.' She rubs her hands together like she's trying to warm them up. 'I keep thinking that your dad was so good at this. He was the one who planned things.' 

Pam holds her mom's hands. 'I know mom.'

Helene looks at Pam. 'Are you still planning on coming over here on Christmas day Pam?'

'Yes. Definitely. Do you need me to come over tomorrow?'

'No honey. You do whatever you want tomorrow. I'll be fine.'

'Ok.' She turns to Jim. 'We are having our own Christmas then.'

Helene smiles a little. 'Oh, That's great. I'm glad you two are finally together. Will would have really liked you Jim.'

Jim blushes. 'Thanks Mrs. Beesly.'

"Please, it's Helene.' She walks over and gives Jim a hug. 'Thank you for being there for my girl.'

'Of course.' Helene then turns and hugs Pam. 

Pam says, 'I love you mom.'

'I love you too dear. ' She stand back and Pam can tell she's fighting back some tears. 'This will be a weird Christmas, but we will get through it together.'

'Yes we will mom.'

Pam hugs everyone else and says her goodbyes, then she and Jim leave. Jim drives to his apartment and Pam comes in with Him. She's really excited to see where he lives now. He doesn't have a roommate this time, so she wanders around while he packs a bag.  

On the shelves are a few pictures of Him with his family and friends. Behind one of him and Mark, she sees a very familiar face. She reaches out and pulls the picture frame forward and sees that it is a picture of her and Jim that Michael took at the Christmas party the year before at the office.

She smiles to herself that even thought they had a strained relationship for the last seven months, he still has a picture of her sitting out.  

After a minute of looking at the picture she feels a hand on her shoulder. Jim reaches for the photo. 'Let's put this where it belongs.' He moves around the other photo frames a little so there is a space in the middle at the front for this picture.  

He then says, 'There, that's better.'

Pam looks at him and he's smiling at her. He kisses her nose. 'I'm all ready Beesly.' He lifts an overnight bag onto his shoulder and puts his other arm around her shoulders.  

Pam feels so warm as they walk out together. 

When they get back to her place they order Chinese takeout and watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation together.

Then they watch Gremlins and debate whether it is a Christmas movie, or a horror movie. They decide it's both. Pam feels herself getting more and more sleepy as Gizmo rides a remote toy car around a department store. The last thing she remembers is putting her head on Jim's shoulder. She doesn't notice when he smiles down at her sleeping. She doesn't notice when he turns off the TV and carries her to her bedroom and takes off her socks and tucks her into bed. She doesn't notice when he crawls into bed next to her after he's changed and snuggles next to her. 

Jim gathers Pam in his arms and thinks to himself how grateful he is to have her in his life. Best friend, partner in pranking crime, soulmate.

The next morning Jim jolts awake to the sound of breaking glass coming from the kitchen. He jumps out of bed, and notices that Pam is not in the bedroom.

He thinks to himself, 'Oh my God! Where is she? Who's trying to break into the kitchen?'

He races into the kitchen trying to think where Pam keeps her knives in case he has to protect her from an intruder and skids to a halt when he sees what actually happened.  

Pam is sitting on the floor holding her left hand and crying. She has a pile of broken glass in front of her.

Jim starts to enter the room.

Pam looks up at him. 'No! Don't come in here. I need to sweep up the glass!'

Jim stops moving and holds up his hands. 'Ok Beesly, where is your broom?'

She points to a closet behind him. 'In there.'

He pulls out the broom and sweeps the kitchen free of the glass. Pam stands up and moves to the sink. 'Thanks.'

Jim notices that her finger on her left hand is bleeding. 'Oh no! Let's get that taken care of.' He turns on the cold water at the sink and gently holds her finger under it.

He looks over at her and sees she is still crying. 'It's not that bad honey.' He turns off the water and kisses her finger. 'Where's your band aids? Lets get this taken care of.' 

She walks with him to the bathroom and sits on the toilet cover as he bandages her finger.

When he's done he crouches down on the floor, so he can talk to her face to face.

'What's the matter Beesly?'

Pam continues crying. 'I don't know. I was going to surprise you with a big Christmas eve breakfast and the mixing bowl slipped out of my hands and broke. When I picked up a piece if cut my finger and I just sat down and started crying. I can't stop.'

Jim reaches over and hugs her. He murmurs to her as she cries. 'It is all right. We can go get breakfast. I'm sorry you are hurt. Don't worry about the bowl.'

He knows without her saying it that her crying is more about her father, than about a broken bowl or a cut finger. He keeps holding her until she finally stops, then looks at her. 'I love you Pam Beesly.' 

Pam quietly says, 'I love you too Jim Halpert. So, so much.'

Jim smiles. 'Well, thank God for that.' He stands up and holds his hand out to her. Should we go see if there's  a good place to have a Christmas eve breakfast?' 

Pam nods, takes his hand and stands up. 'Yes, please I'm starving.'

They change for breakfast and find a diner that neither one has been too and end up having a great meal. Jim tries his best too distract her with his banter and witty stories and mostly succeeds, but sometimes he hears the sorrow creep back into her voice.  

When they finish, they go back to her apartment. She turns on some Christmas music and they make holiday goodies together. No more bowls break and there are no more tears shed over cut fingers.  

They spend a nice, quiet Christmas eve together. Baking, watching movies and talking. As they cuddle while watching Meet Me In St. Louis, Jim gets up and pulls Pam to her feet.

"What are you doing?'

'Dancing with you.'

They hold each other and sway to Judy Garland singing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.

After a few minutes, Pam puts her head on Jim's shoulder and he holds onto her even tighter.  

She looks up at him as the song ends and says 'Merry Christmas Jim. I love you so much.'

'I love you too Pam. Now and forever.'

They turn off the TV, but leave on the Christmas lights. They hold each other as they sleep. Jim thinks to himself that even with everything going on, this has been the best day of his life.  

In the morning, they get up early so they can get ready to go too their respective family homes for Christmas.

 After breakfast Jim hugs Pam and they just hold each other for several minutes. No words are exchanged. No kisses. They don't even move, except for breathing. 

Finally Jim breaks the embrace and kisses her lightly on the top of her head.

'I love you more than anything Pam Beesly. Always have, always will.'

She looks up at him. 'I love you too. You are the love of my life.' They lightly kiss and she says 'Merry Christmas my love.' 

Jim turns to go. 'Call me if you need me, ok?'

She nods and holds his hand for a second longer and he finally turns to go.  

Jim goes to his parents house, where the rest of his family has gathered.

There is cheer and craziness and good times all around, but Jim finds himself continually thinking of Pam and wondering what she's doing at that moment. He checks his phone through out the day, but she hasn't called or texted him.  

As the day turns to evening and the Halpert household starts to quiet down, Jim finds himself full and content and ready to take a nap on the couch. he thinks he should call Pam, when there is a knock on the front door.  

His mother goes to answer it and returns a few minutes later. She beckons to Jim to follow her to the kitchen, where they can talk alone.  

Betsy says, 'Jim, honey, Pam is here. She is really upset, so I took her to your old room and told her you would be there in a moment. I'm going to make her some tea, but you go on up and comfort her now.' 

Jim is surprised to hear that Pam is there and upset. "yeah, of course mom. Thanks a lot.' 

She hugs him. 'I know she's having a really hard time right now. You tell her, is she needs anything, just let us know.' 

Jim nods. 'I will mom.'

He goes upstairs to his childhood bedroom and sees Pam sitting on his bed. She looks up at him with a tear stained face.

When she sees it is him, she jumps up and hugs him tightly. She continues to cry into his chest. He holds her and tries to comfort her.  

'Oh Beesly. What is going on? Can you please tell me?'

As he is comforting her, he gently guides her back to his bed. Then he picks her up and crawls onto his bed while holding her and she sits on his lap as he leans up against the headboard of the bed.  

After she cries for a few more minutes and stares to calm down she gradually stars talking. 

He rubs her shoulders and kisses the top of her head and she sniffles and hiccups and tells her story.  

'Your mom is so nice. She probably thinks I'm crazy now, just showing up like this.'

'No. My family knows what happened. They know you are having a hard time.  My mom said to let them know if you need anything. She is making tea right now for you.'

'Aww, that is so nice.'

Right at that moment, there is a light knock on the door. 

Betsy opens the door, 'Jim, is it ok if I come in?'

'Come on in mom.'

Betsy opens the door all the way and enters his room carrying a tray with a teapot and a couple tea cups. She places the tray on the nightstand next to the bed.  

She then sits on the bed next to Jim who was still holding Pam. She takes Pam's hand and holds it for a minute.  

'Oh dear, I know you are having a hard time right now. I lost my father years ago. Jim was a teenager. It's not the same as what you are going through, my dad was sick for a long time, but it is never easy to lose a loved one.' 

Pam nods. 'Yeah, it is hard.'

'Well, let us know if you need anything, ok? Jim loves you so much and I get the feeling that we will be seeing a lot more of you from now on.'

She pats Pam's hand and leans in to give her a hug.

'Thank you so much Mrs. Halpert. That means so much to me.' 

Betsy pulls back. 'Please call me Betsy, or mom if you'd rather.' She smiles and winks at Jim.

Jim yells, 'Mom!'

Pam smiles a little and squeezes Jim's hand. 'Thank you Betsy.'

Betsy gets up and leaves Jim's room. He leans over and pours some tea for him and Pam.

He hands her a mug and says, 'I'm sorry about my mom. Sometimes she doesn't know when to stop.'

Pam ducks her head and smiles a little. 'It's ok. She is very nice. I started crying as soon as she let me in and she ushered me up here right away. I am glad I remembered the address.'

'Me too.' They sip at the tea for a moment. Jim looks at her and she's staring straight ahead. 'Do you want to tell me what is going on, or do you want to wait?'

Pam nods. 'I'll tell you now.' She puts her tea down on the table next to her and tuns to Jim. She pulls her feet under her and he puts his arm around her shoulders. She buries her face into his neck.

She takes a deep breath and Jim waits patiently for her to tell him what has made her so upset.

Pam starts. 'Christmas was nice, for the most part. It was just me, mom and Pen. We had some goodies and exchanged presents. The ones from our parents said mom and dad, that was tough, but we got through it. After a couple hours mom got up and went to their bedroom, then came back with an old shoebox. She sat in between us on the couch and opened it. She said it was my dad's and that he had kept mementos in it from over the years. There were concert tickets, movie stubs, pamphlets from vacations and some pictures I had never seen before. Then she pulled out a couple envelopes. Our names were on one each.' 

Jim watches her as she takes a minute to collect herself, then continues.  

'Mom said she found the box while going thought his stuff. My dad was not good at being demonstrative about his feelings, but we always knew that he loved us. Anyway, mom said there was one envelope each for her, for Penny and for me. He wrote the letter to her on their wedding day and the ones to me and Pen on the days we were born.' 

As Pam said this, she leans over to get her purse from where she left if on the floor and pulls out a long envelope that said Pamela Morgan on the front.  

'We read them with mom. I didn't cry in front of her, but I told her I needed to go and she understood. I broke down as soon as I got in my car.'

She holds the envelope. Jim could tell that it had been written years before. he wonders again about Pam's father and the kind of man he was.

Pam turns it over and takes out a couple pieces of paper. She holds it for a moment, then turns to Jim.

'Do you want to read it?'

He looks at the letter in her hands, then into her eyes. he could see that the  tears were ready to fall again, so he takes the papers from her hands and lightly kisses her. 'Sure Beesly.'

He holds the papers for a moment imagining what it must have been like for Will Beesly 28 years before to become a father for the first time. 

Jim feels that he has his life planned out. A nice home, a couple children, a dog and a cat, getting promoted at a job he enjoys and Pam by his side.  

He puts his arm around her shoulders again and she curls up into his side. 

Jim looks at the letter and begins reading.

"My dearest Pamela Morgan,

You are 8 hours old now as I am writing this. Your incredible mother went though 10 hours of labor to have you. She is resting now as she needs to and you are sleeping in one of those hospital bassinets next to me. 

I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that you are actually here. Even thought I had 9 months to get used to the idea, I can't believe I am actually your father.

I should tell you now that I am not good at showing emotions. Your grandfather did not believe that men should be emotional. I think I am better than he is at showing my love for those I care about, but know that even though I may have a hard time showing it, I truly love you and always will.

How can I love someone so much that I just met? You, little miss, are perfect. I am sure all parents think that way about their children, but in this case, it's true.

I feel good just being next to you. I feel comfortable and I feel warm. You make me feel warm. They wheeled your bassinet in here and I jumped up, because I needed to be near your warmth.  

Wow! You are so beautiful Pamela. Real beauty. You are going to give your mother a run for her money for being the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. (Don't tell her I said that.) You have these deep hazel eyes that change color. And the cutest curly hair. And I swear you smiled at me when I held you. I could live off your smile for the rest of my life.  

I already know you are going to be the best of us. A harsh word will never fall from your lips. People will want to be near you to feel your warmth and love.

I pray that I will be the best father I can be to you. I am sure I will make mistakes sometimes as your father, but please forgive me. No matter what, I will always love you.

Love,

your devoted father.

P. S. It will be a very long time from now, but whomever the man is who's going to marry you one day, better know what an amazing person you are and treat you like the princess that you are, or he will have me to answer to.  

Jim smiles a little and puts the letter back into its envelope.

Pam takes it and holds it. 'What do you think?'

Jim is quiet for a little while as he's thinking. 'I am sorry I will never get to meet him. What an incredible man.' He is quiet again. Then says, 'The way he describes you at a couple hours old is the way I would have described you now.'

Pam looks at him with those startling hazel eyes he fell in love with all those years ago. 

He takes her hand and kisses the back of it. 'You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. A mean word has never been uttered by you. I feel good and comfortable and warm just by being around you. Even when we were having, ummm, issues, I still felt better just knowing you were near. I love your smile and your laugh because they're genuine. Whenever I have a day that I can make you smile, or laugh, I feel like my day has been full-filled. I pray that I get to be that man you father was talking about, because I will do anything to keep your love and make you the happiest woman on earth.' 

   Pam puts her hand on his cheek. 'Oh Jim, I knew coming to see you would help me feel better. I wish my dad could have met you too.'

 She leans in and lightly kisses him. They curl up together and hold each other.

After sitting and holding each other for awhile Jim says 'Are you ready to go home?'

'Yeah, let's go.'

They get up and go downstairs. Jim's family meets Pam briefly and give her their condolences. 

Jim follows Pam back to her apartment where they spend another quiet evening together.

As they go to bed Jim can tell that Pam is rather agitated. They lay down facing each other and he lightly smooths her hair down with his hand.  

He asks her, 'How are you doing?'

'I'm having a hard time. I can't believe I'll never see him again.'

'I know. I'm sorry babe. What can I do to help?' 

'You're doing it. I love that you are here with me. I really want this relationship to work out.'

'Me too. It will. We've already been through enough.'

Pam smiles. 'Yeah, we have.'

'Are you going to be able to sleep?'

Pam nods. 'I'll try.'

Jim gets up. 'I have and idea. I'll be right back.'

He goes to the living room and returns with something in his hands.  

'What's that?'

He holds it up. 'My IPOD. I thought I would play a list for you and maybe it will help you fall asleep.'

She smiles as he hands her an earbud. He lays back down facing her again and puts the other earbud in his ear.

As they listen, they don't talk. After a couple songs Pam asks, 'What is this list?'

'It's called Pam's list.'

Pam closes her eyes for a moment, then leans forward and kisses him. After a minute she pulls back. 'I love you so much Halpert.'

'Back at you Beesly.'

Jim watches as Pam's eyes close again, but this time they don't reopen.  

  He hears Kate Bush singing This Woman's Work.

"Give me these moments back.

Give them back to me.

Give me that little kiss.

Give me your hand." 

Jim moves in a little closer to Pam and she rests her head on his chest. He falls asleep listening to her breathing.

The next morning Pam wakes up feeling warm and well rested. She feels Jim's arms around her and she hears his heartbeat under her ear.

She smiles and forgets for a moment about her grief about her dad and everything that had happened. 

Instead, she remembers a dream that she just woke up from. In the dream, she and Jim were picnicking near Lake Wallenpaupack. Jim was walking back to Pam from the water's edge, when an adorable little girl comes running up to him. He smiles widely, opens his arms wide and when the little moppet runs into his arms, he picks her up and swings her onto his shoulders.

They walk to Pam who is putting food on the picnic table. The little girl leans down from Jim's shoulders for a kiss from Pam.

'Mommy!' Says Cici.

'Hi baby.' Pam smiles at her little girl.

Jim then kisses Pam. 'Beesly.'

'Hi baby.' She smiles and winks at him.

Jim puts Cici down so she can eat, then comes around behind Pam and puts his hands on her stomach, which is about 6 months into her second pregnancy.  

'I love you so much.' Jim whispers into her ear.

Pam sinks into his embrace. 'I love you so much too.'

Back in reality Pam  thinks about the dream, she smiles and falls back asleep in Jim's embrace.

The End