“Alright, citizens of Dunder Mifflin,” Michael proclaimed from the doorway to his office.  “The bus will be here at eight o’clock in the a.m. tomorrow and you guys need to be down in the parking lot, packed and ready.”

“Make sure the rooster crows, people,” Dwight added as he stepped over to Michael’s side.

“Yes, well, anywhoo, as you all know, our quarterly camaraderie event is coming up, and it’s going to be a history lesson.  A Dunder Mifflin history, that is,” Michael beamed and clapped his hands together as a collective groan was released by the office staff.  “Any guesses on where we’ll be going?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?”  He paused, waiting for enthusiastic shouts, but was only met by annoyed faces.  “Lake Wallenpaupack, …again!”  He was rolling his hands in a ‘come on, you’ve almost got it’ type gesture.  “…because we made history there last year.  And you know what they say; those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”

“Is this another booze cruise?”  Stanley asked.  Meredith pumped an excited fist into the air.

“No, no, we’ll be on the beach this time.  I’ve been watching Survivor non-stop for the past two weeks and I’ve made my own competitions that will decide who will be the last one standing.  Now no more questions!”  He turned and walked back into his office, yelling, “Get back to work!”

“What does that mean:  last one standing?”  Karen asked no one in particular.  She looked to Jim for an answer, but he only shrugged, seeming to say ‘it could be anything.’

A little later that morning, Karen was perched on the corner of Jim’s desk.  Her arms were folded across her chest and they were chatting about the impending activities.  “So how far of a drive is this going to be?”

“It’s about forty five minutes east of here, but knowing Michael, we’ll be taking the scenic route.  I’d say about double that.  At least,” Jim said as he swiveled back and forth in his chair.

“Ugh.  An hour and a half on a bus.  With Michael.  Can’t. Wait,” she was about as enthusiastic as if she was getting a root canal.

Pam couldn’t help overhearing their conversation.  “Hey Karen,” she interrupted.  “Remember when you first got here, how you said you wanted to learn to knit?”

“Oh, yeah,” she nodded with a little confused smile on her face.

“I could totally teach you in an hour and a half.  It’ll keep us out of the line of fire when Michael starts in with the sing-a-longs and car games.”

“That would be great,” Karen said as she walked over to reception.  Jim turned around in his chair to watch.  She laid her palms on Pam’s desk and smiled with her mouth just a little bit open.  “Now I’m actually excited about going.”

“Cool.  I’ll bring you needles and yarn and you can make a scarf.  It’s really easy.  You’ll pick it up quickly,” Pam nodded as she spoke and decided she was excited, too.  Karen walked back to her desk, and Pam’s eyes caught Jim’s. 

“That was really nice of you, Beesley,” he whispered.

“I am nice,” she whispered back with a wink.

Everyone had piled onto the humongous bus and by quarter after eight, Michael was yelling, “Nothing’s too good for my workers!  We are going to hit every hotspot between here and the lake.  Every souvenir shop, landmark and alligator farm!” 

“Michael, I don’t think alligator farms have existed here for 30 years,” Phyllis said.

“Well you would know, Phyllis, you probably went there while you were on road trips as a young woman,” he said trying to come off as cool and collected.

“We’re the same age, Michael,” she replied with more than a tinge of irritation in her voice.

Michael continued to go on about the day’s agenda, but it was easy to ignore from where Pam, Karen and Jim were sitting.  They were in the second to last row, Jim and Karen in the two seats across the aisle from Pam.  Karen had said she wanted to get started knitting as soon as they got on the bus.  Pam pulled out a pair of needles and a ball of chunky pink and brown yarn.  “I thought this would match your winter coat,” she said.

Karen took them as she gave an enthusiastic ‘thank you.’  Pam told her to sit next to her for the first part, and then she could go back to sitting with Jim.  After Karen got settled, Pam pulled out her own needles and yarn and started to show her how to cast on.  Jim watched as the girls held triangles of yarn through their fingers.  He noticed how confident and patient Pam was and couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that she wasn’t sitting next to him, guiding his hands into the right places. 

Pam had been right; Karen picked it up very quickly.  She cast on with no problems, and within a couple of rows, she was knitting away without any help.  Pam pulled out the example rows she had done to teach Karen, and started to work on the sweater she’d been knitting for a week.  “Two peas in a pod,” Jim said, immediately regretting how stupid he must have sounded.  “Great.  Now I’m going to get stuck playing the license plate game with Michael,” he added.

Pam looked across the aisle and asked, “You want to learn?”

“To knit?  Absolutely,” he smiled.  Pam grabbed her work, made Jim move over one seat, and sat down next to him.

“I don’t have anymore needles, but you can practice on this,” she said holding up her halfway finished, blue sweater.  He nodded and leaned in as she started to show him the technique.  He watched her long fingers grab the yarn, her tiny wrist twist it around, and then flick the needle out from under the other.  She had been talking as she demonstrated, but he couldn’t hear a word she said.  He was so mesmerized by her movements he hadn’t noticed she had stopped and was saying, “Hello?  Anyone in there?”

He was quick to cover up the fact that he wasn’t listening.  “Whoa.  Show me that again, I didn’t get it.” 

Karen had stopped and was looking at him, shaking her head slowly back and forth.  “Come on, Halpert.  This isn’t that hard.”  She went right back to work.

Pam started to show him again, this time slower.  He made sure he paid attention to what she was saying so that Karen didn’t catch on.  “Okay?  Your turn,” Pam said as she handed the needles to him.

He held them just as he had been shown, and started to knit.  This time, Pam had leaned toward him, pressing her shoulder into his arm.  She would stop him every couple of stitches when he would make a tiny mistake, and with her hand on top of his, she would guide him.  It was getting loud on the bus due to a Dwight led sing-along of the ‘Friends’ theme song, and Karen was concentrating hard on her own work.  So when Jim kept making the same mistake over and over again, and Pam kept taking his hand to help him, she quietly said, “I’m beginning to think you’re doing that on purpose.”

“What?”  He innocently replied.  “This?”  He said as he made the same mistake, again.

She took his hand again, and steered the needle into the right spot.  She let her hand stay on his and slightly turned her head to look at him.  She was so close he could smell her hair, which was down and tucked behind her ears.  He had a subtle smile on that was almost imperceptible, but Pam saw it. She blushed a bit and let her hand fall back into her lap. 

“I’m beginning to see why teachers used to hit kids with rulers,” he said.  “You don’t want to make the same mistake twice when that’s your punishment.”

“Cute,” she said flatly, playfully narrowing her eyes at him.  “Keep going.  I expect you to finish this sweater for me before we get home.”  He let out a little ‘ha!’ and continued to knit.  He stopped making the little mistake he had been making and was doing a good job.  She leaned away from him and shifted her attention to Karen, who hadn’t looked up from her work.  Pam felt a little guilty for what just happened.  As small as it had been, Jim was flirting with her.  And in front of his girlfriend, for that matter.  She was over-analyzing the last few minutes again and again in her head when she heard a little ‘Shit’ come from her left.

“I did it again.  I wasn’t even thinking this time,” he said.   “Only I figured it out after I did the stitch.”

“So this one was for real, huh,” Pam said quietly as she took the work from him.  He gently nudged her as she took the stitch out and knitted the rest of the row.  He put out his hands with fingers twitching, indicating he wanted to do more, but she thought this was a good stopping point for him.  “How about you help Karen with hers for a while,” she paused as she looked over at Karen.  She turned her focus back to Jim and said under her breath, “you know, your girlfriend.” 

He cleared his throat at that last part and said, “Yeah, hey Karen, switch places with Pam, I want to watch you work.”  Karen reluctantly stopped what she was doing and obliged.  After they traded places, Karen proudly displayed her scarf to Pam.

“This goes really fast when you work with yarn this big,” Karen said. 

“I know how it is when you work and work and you don’t see results fast, so I thought that would be satisfying for you,” Pam replied.  “Just wait ‘til you start using smaller needles and yarn.”

Occasionally, Michael would make the bus driver pull over for some silly roadside attraction, but getting off the bus wasn’t mandatory, so each time, many stayed behind.  Jim decided to get out and stretch his legs.  The girls stayed where they were and continued at their craft.  Pam looked over at Karen’s scarf.  “Your tension is really good.” 

She must have startled Karen because she stopped what she was doing immediately and gave a pointed, “What?!” 

Pam was taken aback by her sharp tone.  “Your tension.   The …tension of your yarn.  It’s not too tight, it’s not too loose,” she paused.  “What did you think I meant?” 

Karen’s face softened.  “Oh, I don’t know.  I was in my own world for a minute there.” 

“Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah, I guess.  I think I need a real vacation.  I’ve been trying to get Jim to plan something for us, but he keeps dragging his feet.  Sometimes I don’t know why I even bother,” Karen quickly closed her lips and looked downward for a second before continuing.  “Probably shouldn’t be saying this to you.” 

“Why’s that?” Pam shrugged.  “Jim’s a guy.  Guys can be dumb.” 

“Fair enough,” she said, and went back to knitting. 

Pam was a bit confused, and just stared out the window, blinking.  She couldn’t help but think Jim and Karen weren’t going as strong as she thought.  She shook her head in order to bring herself back to reality, and followed Karen’s lead, and continued to knit. Jim had returned to his seat next to Karen and for the last half hour of the ride, alternated between trying to sleep and watching her knit.  Occasionally his eyes would travel across the aisle and rest upon Pam.  He watched her hands, noticing she moved with more grace and speed than Karen.   Pam could feel his eyes on her, and when she turned to look at him, he was completely lost in his thoughts, staring at her hands.  She stilled them, bringing him back to life.  He twitched a little and his gaze rose up to her face.  Unconsciously, she held her breath.  She let her eyelids fall, slightly, and gave a small tired smile.  He returned the gesture with the same exact expression, but his eyes faltered- looking downward, then back at her, then away, until he turned his head in the opposite direction to look out the window.  She turned her eyes to Karen, diligently working, and then back to her own needles.  She knitted the rest of the ride to the lake, without looking up.     

Pam was sitting on a towel in the sand, by herself, keeping score on a page in her sketch book.  She hadn’t been allowed to play, but as she watched Phyllis bat Michael in the head with a giant Q-Tip, she didn’t feel too bad about it.  She laughed to herself as someone was approaching her.

She raised her hand to her eyes to see who it was, but she already knew.  “Hey,” she said.  “How are you doing?”

Jim sat down next to her and said, “You tell me, you’re the one with the score pad.”  He tried to look at her papers, but she brought it up to her chest, telling him she couldn’t reveal anything.

“It wouldn’t be fair,” she protested. 

“Fine,” he said, crossing his arms and trying his best to pout.

“Oh, brother,” she said, rolling her eyes.  She showed him the scores, quickly, before hiding them away again. 

Jim was in first place, and he didn’t seem surprised.  He just smiled and bobbed his head up and down.  “So, how are you doing, Beesley?”

“A little bored, but it could be worse.  At least it’s warm out.”  They both nodded in agreement, and a comfortable silence fell.  This was her chance to really talk to him.  They were far enough away from the others so they could speak without any fear of being overheard, and Karen was engrossed in competition.  “It’s great you’re in line for another promotion,” she began.  “I’m happy for you.  You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Pam.”

“I just hope it doesn’t involve another transfer out of Scranton…  I don’t think I could handle you leaving again.”

He remained silent, but she wasn’t deterred.  She let out a little sigh before continuing.  “After you left, I was destroyed.”  She waited for him to say something, anything, just to acknowledge her.  She turned to look at him.

He was nodding gently as he quietly said, “Me, too.”

“Jim, I am so sorry.  Everything is my fault.  I wanted so badly to be able to tell you I was in love with you, because …I was.  I was just too afraid to admit it to myself, let alone to you,” her heart was racing and she paused to catch her breath.  “I know you’ve moved on.  I know you’re with Karen, but…. I would give anything for a second chance with you.  I’m still in love with you.  I’ve tried to move on, but I can’t…. I can’t move on.  I don’t want to.  I want you, to be with you.  I know you’re with Karen, but I wanted to tell you…,” she started to trail off; because it seemed like her confession was falling on deaf ears.  Jim had been staring at the edge of the towel and hadn’t moved a muscle since she said she was sorry.  Finally, he spoke.

“Pam, I don’t –“ he began, but she cut him off.

“No, please.  I’m not asking for anything from you right now.  I just needed to tell you.  If you…” she was beginning to lose her nerve, but she thought of how brave he had been last May, and was able to go on.  "...I think you still have feelings for me, if you could give me another chance, I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to realize what it is that you want.  I want you to have time to think because I know it’s a difficult decision.  I know how hard it can be when it’s inevitable that someone is going to get hurt,” she said, her voice shaking. 

He nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.   It didn’t matter, because Pam turned to him and gave a tired smile, and told him he should get back to the activities if he wanted to keep his lead.  He couldn’t take his eyes off her, but he got up and stumbled back towards the waters edge. 

Jim had been openly seeking Pam out with his eyes while they were at the office.  He would gaze at her on his way back from the break room, or while walking out of the conference room, only to find she had been staring at him first.  There was a confidence in her eyes that hadn’t been there before her confession.  It was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.  Whatever happened next, she knew she had been honest with him, finally.

The week had come and gone, and on Friday, Michael, Jim and Karen were off to corporate in New York for their final interviews.  Michael had requested for Pam and Dwight to come in early to see them leave.  Dwight had been put in charge, temporarily, and Pam was to conduct business as usual for the day.  They would call with any updates from corporate, and if anything important happened that Michael needed to know about, he gave Pam the number where he could be reached.  She took the post-it note, and Michael tapped her desk as he left.  Karen and Jim were driving separately, and before going, Pam smiled and wished them both luck.

“You’re going to need luck too, Beesley,” Jim said.  “You know what happens to Dwight when he’s given any kind of authority ….yikes,” he smiled at her as he walked out with Karen. 

**

Dwight’s reign of terror hadn’t been as bad as expected.  He was a very efficient leader, and was less bothersome than Michael usually was, what with his silly nicknames and small talk.  Pam was able to answer the phones in peace, and with the manager and two salespeople out of the office, it was a little slower than normal.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam,” she said into the phone.

“Uh, hey, it’s Jim.”

She gasped a little before replying.  “Hi!  What’s going on there?”

“I haven’t had my interview yet, Karen just went in for hers, and Michael has been on another floor altogether for most of the morning.”

“So where are you?”  She asked, covering her end of the receiver with her hand.

“I’m in reception, just waiting.  I wanted to talk to you for a second.  Are you busy?”

“No.  What’s up?”  She asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“I wanted to tell you the job I’m up for is Michael’s old job.  So, that means I wouldn’t be leaving Scranton,” he said into his cell phone as he paced slowly around the room.

“Oh my god, that’s great,” she was so relieved, she leaned back in her chair.

“Yeah, look, I want to be honest with you, since you were so honest with me,” he paused as he ran his hands through his hair.  “Karen and I are staying in the city until Sunday.  She wanted to get away for the weekend.  I wanted you to know.  I thought you should know.”

“Oh, that’s o-“ she began, but he talked over her.

“I’m going to tell her everything.  I can’t do this anymore.”

Pam wasn’t sure what he meant by that.  Do what anymore?  She was lost in her thoughts until she heard him continue.

“Look, I’ll call you today if I find out anything about the promotions.  Otherwise, I’ll call you on Sunday when I get back into town.”

“Um, ok.  Talk to you later.  Good luck,” she was still holding the receiver when she heard his end hang up.  She put the phone down slowly and stared into her computer screen.  She didn’t know how long she had been sitting like that when she realized Dwight was standing at her desk. 

“Question:  Is it in your job description to stare ahead blankly and ignore your duties?  Fact.  It is not.  Pamela, back to work.”

Pam watched him walk over to the accounting department where Angela, having seen Dwight’s display of authority, was waiting for him with a strange smile on her face. 

**

“They told me they’ll let me know their decision by Wednesday,” Karen said as she poured another glass of wine for herself.  She and Jim were having a nice dinner in a little bistro, near their hotel. 

“That’s what they told me, too,” he said, a little distracted.

“Are you ok?  You seem a million miles away.  Do you want to talk about it?”  She asked as she reached across the table to find his hand.

That was the set up he had hoped for, but it felt too easy.  He took a big gulp of wine before he spoke.  “Actually, I do want to talk about it.”

Karen was taken aback by his response.  It was the first time he had said that.  Ever.  She didn’t say anything, she just let him speak.

“I need to be honest with you.  About Pam.”

She pulled her hand away and sat up very straight in her chair.

He sighed before he continued.  “It went a lot deeper than a crush.  I was…I…I’m in love with her.”  He looked up at Karen to see her nodding, just like she did that day in the conference room, when she asked him if he still had feeling for Pam.

“I know you are,” she said quietly, matter-of-factly. 

“I thought I could get past it.  I thought I was over it.  But, I was lying to myself, and to you,” he paused for a second.  “She told me she’s not over it either.  I needed to tell you and to be honest with you, for once.  Karen, I’m so sorry.”

Karen’s face had fallen into a look of hurt and numbness, all at the same time.  She just kept nodding her head while looking at the table.  “You know, you’re pretty transparent?” She said calmly.  “You wear your heart on your sleeve for her.  I always knew where I stood with you.”

“Karen, I-“

She shrugged.  “It’s ok, Jim.  I think its better this way.  I appreciate your honesty, even at this late stage in the game.  At least you told me.  You didn’t give me a lame excuse,” she said, looking into his eyes.  They sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke again.  “What are you going to do?”

“Really?”  He asked. 

“Yeah, really.”

“I hadn’t thought about it any further than this.  Um, I guess she and I need to talk and figure some things out.”

“That sounds like a good place to start.  Have you two ever talked this out before?”

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head.

“That doesn’t surprise me…” she smiled a little at her own joke.  “Seriously, Halpert.  Sometimes you just have to take a chance.  You know what I mean?”

He gave a resigned little smile as he thought about how he’d heard those words before.