55 words on choosing a name.
(all stand alone pieces)
1. That's What She Said by EmilyHalpert
2. Allison by EmilyHalpert
3. Angela by EmilyHalpert
4. Summer by EmilyHalpert
5. Michael by EmilyHalpert
6. Sydney by EmilyHalpert
7. Soap Opera by EmilyHalpert
8. Kelly by EmilyHalpert
9. Justin by EmilyHalpert
10. Gross Slimy by EmilyHalpert
11. Son And Daughter by EmilyHalpert
12. M by EmilyHalpert
13. Bebe by EmilyHalpert
14. Veto by EmilyHalpert
15. Doggy by EmilyHalpert
16. Rhyming by EmilyHalpert
“Nicholas?”
“Boring.”
“Avery?”
“Isn’t that a girl’s name?”
“Unisex.”
“No, no unisex names. Boys names only.”
“Like little Jimmy?”
“Let’s leave little Jimmy out of it.”
“Actually, little Jimmy seemed to be in it...”
“Pam!”
“Ooh, what about Dwight?”
“No way, don’t even joke.”
“Michael?”
“God, his first words would be ‘that’s what she said.’”“Allison?”
“Allison…”
“What’s that look in your eyes for?”
“What look?”
“That look!”
“Um… Allison Campbell. Camp girlfriend.”
“No way! No Allison.”
“But it’s a good name…”
“So every time you see OUR daughter, you think of her. No way, no how.”
“So no Allison, but you are fine with Jennifer?”
“You dated a Jennifer?!”“Just flip through the book. I’ll stick my finger in and that will be her name.”
“Fine, it’s not like anything else has worked.”
“There!”
“Summer.”
“She’s due in December! We can’t name her Summer!”
“Winter?”
“We’re not calling our daughter Winter. Try again.”
“Fine, I flip, you point.”
“Meredith.”
“Great, why not Jack Daniels?”
“Did you hear they are thinking of naming their son Michael? After me of course. Probably even ask me to be the kid’s godparent. It makes sense, me and Jim, we’re BFF; we always talk about our girl problems. Well, not our girl problems. Our problems with girls. We don’t have girl problems. Ick…. Ick.”
“Jim, wake up!”
“Huh? What is it?”
“I’ve got it!”
“What?”
“The perfect name!”
“Pam, its 3 am…”
“Stop being so fussy Jim, it’s still the perfect name.”
“Fine, what’s the perfect name this time.”
“Sydney.”
“What?”
“Sydney. It’s short, cute.”
“Not bad.”
“Added bonus, it will always remind us of where she was conceived.”
“So, my mom called today.”
“God, what now?”
“Apparently naming the baby Christopher is a bad idea.”
“Why?
“We can’t name the baby Christopher because Christopher on General Hospital was orphaned and had a horrible childhood. And apparently that means something.”
“That if we name him Christopher we will die and Dwight will raise him?”
“They totally need help choosing a name. Can you believe they were thinking of something like Sophie? There are so many other better names. Too bad Shiloh and Suri are taken. Isn’t Suri so cute? Oh my god, did you hear that Katie might be pregnant again? What do you think they’ll name this one?”
“Why do we need a boy’s name? The ultrasound said it’s a girl”
“Because ultrasounds can be wrong, what if he is just shy or something.”
“No boy of mine is shy! It’s a girl.”
“Jim, please, think of a boy’s name. Just in case.”
“Fine.”
“What did you write?”
“A boy’s name. Justin Case.”“I don’t know now, he just doesn’t look like a Nicholas…”
“He doesn’t look like a Nicholas? So we should name him Gross, Slimy Kid? Loud Screamer? Weird Face?”
“JIM! He’s your son!”
“Come here big guy, you know I love you, right Gross, Slimy Kid?”
“He’s not gross or slimy. He’s beautiful.”
“Like you.”
“What about Ben?”
“Ben?”
“It’s an old Jewish name… It means son.”
“Ben Halpert.”
“You like?”
“I like. Okay, girls’ names.”
“Well, if we want to use the same logic…”
“And name her ‘daughter’…”
“Bat.”
“What?”
“Bat means ‘daughter’”
“We are NOT naming our daughter Bat.”
“Bat and Ben, that would be so cute.”
“No!”
A/N: Yeah, so Jim’s brother’s names aren’t true. Deal.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s stupid.”
“Pam…”
“I was just wondering… I love how you and your brothers names all start with J. Can we do that with our kids?”
“Have all their names start with M?”
“Exactly, we’ve got Mackenzie, and… I don’t know, Matthew if it’s a boy, and Megan if it’s another girl?”
“We could ask his opinion…”
“He’s two!”
“It’s his little sister, he might like to help.”
“Okay, Matty Boy, what should we name the new baby?”
“Bebe?”
“Yes Matty, your sister, what should her name be?”
“Baw!”
“Good job Matt! That is a ball!”
“Bebe!”
“Pam, our son is pretending to be pregnant. Not good.”
“We each get five vetoes, no questions asked.”
“Fine. Josh.”
“Veto – ”
“Wait, why?”
“No questions, remember? Adam.”
“Veto.”
“You’re just saying that because I vetoed yours.”
“No, I am saying it because Adam is a stupid name.”
“Fine. Daniel.”
“Veto.”
“Pam, seriously? Another veto?”
“Let’s just name the kid Veto and be done with it.”“Okay, what about Maggie…. Pam, wait, why are you crying?”
“M…Maggie….”
“Okay, okay, no Maggie. It’s alright, no need to cry.”
“Maggie Dog!”
“What Pam? What’s going on? It’s okay.”
“Maggie… Maggie was my puppy.”
“What? Okay, Maggie was a puppy… why are you crying.”
“She died!!!”
“It’s okay, Pam. No Maggie. It’s okay.”“… Five babies…”
“How the hell did that happen?”
“… Five babies…”
“We need five names, Jim.”
“… Five babies…”
“Five names! How are we going to come up with five names?”
“… Five babies…”
“I’ve got it!”
“Huh? Got what?”
“Names… the perfect names.”
“What?”
“We’ll name them Aidan, Caden, Braden, Jayden, and Hayden! They rhyme! So cute!”No, in no way is this realistic, but once I saw that the top boy’s names all rhymed… I had to do something with it.
And that's it. I just wanted to submit all the rest I'd scribbled down.