Summary: Season five has already premiered, so I guess now I'm just trying to do a conversation for as many episodes as possible. :) Enjoy, this is my first fanfic ever.
Categories: Jim and Pam,
Episode Related Characters: Jim, Other, Pam
Genres: Angst, Fluff, Romance
Warnings: Adult language, Other Adult Theme
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 7
Completed: No
Word count: 6036
Read: 11217
Published: July 04, 2008
Updated: January 02, 2009
Story Notes:
Okay, so. This is my first fanfic. Ever. Please do not eat me. I was thinking of being super-ambitious and making it so that I wrote a Jim/Pam instant messaging conversation (or sometimes an email/text message) for every episode in the series until season five premiered. So, if I do stick with this idea, here goes.
i can tell that we are gonna be friends / Pilot by JamFan4
Author's Notes:
I don't own anything. However, if I did, I would truly be the happiest person on earth, now that Lou Gehrig is dead. Title from We're Going to Be Friends by The White Stripes.
JHalpert: Good day.
PBeesly: Hola.
JHalpert: QUESTION. What can make our very annoying boss even more annoying?
PBeesly: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I know!
JHalpert: Yes, that pretty little lady at the desk.
PBeesly: Hey, don’t pick Angela!
JHalpert: I’m picking you, psycho.
PBeesly: Well I’m not the only woman sitting at a desk, psycho.
JHalpert: I said pretty. And Angela scares me.
PBeesly: Anyway, I know the answer to your question.
JHalpert: What is the answer?
PBeesly: A camera crew!!!
JHalpert: Ah, yes. The crew. Speaking of which, did you fill out your release form yet?
PBeesly: Yes sir.
JHalpert: I dare you to put “No thank you” where it asks you for your sex.
PBeesly: Think about how old you are, Jim. You’re a grown man.
JHalpert: Grown men know what’s funny.
JHalpert: Well, except Michael.
PBeesly: I was gonna say.
JHalpert: So did you do it?
PBeesly: “Sex: No thank you.”
JHalpert: Yay. I’m buying you a bag of chips later.
PBeesly: Do you know what kind?
JHalpert: Uh…
JHalpert: I wanna say it starts with an “h”…
PBeesly: French onion.
JHalpert: Knew it.
JHalpert: Oh, goody. Michael’s asking me into his office. With the cameras. Kill me now.
PBeesly: No thank you.
JHalpert has signed off
-
JHalpert has signed on.
JHalpert: He called me young grasshopper.
PBeesly: Ouch.
JHalpert: And he called one of our female clients “sir.”
PBeesly: Ouch.
JHalpert: And the cameras were there.
PBeesly: Ouch.
JHalpert: Okay, it’s hard to believe your sympathy when I’m just a couple feet away from your desk.
JHalpert: I can hear you snickering, madam.
PBeesly: Grown women know what’s funny.
JHalpert: Damn you.
PBeesley is away.
JHalpert: Hello?
Auto Response from PBeesly: Michael is introducing me to the cameras. When will death come?
PBeesly is back from away.
JHalpert: So, in the future, what do we do with faxes from corporate?
PBeesly: Throw them away.
JHalpert: Good girl.
PBeesly: :-P
JHalpert: So, what did you look like a couple years ago?
PBeesly: I will kill you.
JHalpert: Well, you could’ve done that like, twenty minutes ago when I wanted to die. Now I do not.
PBeesly: Fine, I will spare you, mortal.
JHalpert: Thank you.
PBeesly: You’re welcome.
JHalpert has signed off.
-
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly: WHASSAAAAP?
JHalpert: WHASAAAAAAAAAP?
PBeesly: WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?
JHalpert: You win.
PBeesly: Don’t I always?
PBeesly: Gotta go, meeting with Jan.
JHalpert: Godspeed.
PBeesly has signed off.
PBeesly has signed on.
JHalpert: How was it?
PBeesly: Ugh.
JHalpert: What did you learn?
PBeesly: Todd Packer called to ask if Jan’s curtains match her drapes.
JHalpert: Do they?
PBeesly: Be quiet.
JHalpert: What did they talk about? Besides Jan, I mean.
PBeesly: Downsizing.
JHalpert: Yikes.
PBeesly: Well, at least the conversation involved Michael. So it was entertaining.
JHalpert: You’re glass-half-full kind of girl.
PBeesly: Angela is having a cat party.
JHalpert: A WHAT?
PBeesly: Come talk to me. Now.
JHalpert has signed off.
-
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly: Did Dwight fall and pierce an organ?
JHalpert: I wish. He killed my beautiful fort with his phone.
PBeesly: Oh, please don’t fake cry, Jim.
DKSchrute has signed on.
DKSchrute: Stop crying, you girl. If you ever attempt to use pointy objects as a way to harm me ever again, I will be forced to use my green-belt skills on you.
DKSchrute has signed off.
JHalpert: Don’t laugh at me.
PBeesly: I can’t help it.
JHalpert: One word, two syllables. Shut it.
PBeesly: That’s two words.
JHalpert: Conference room meeting!
PBeesly: Oh, we haven’t had one of those in oh… a few hours?
JHalpert: It’ll be the first one with the cameras.
JHalpert: We’ll get to go see how everybody reacts to them.
PBeesly: I’m there.
JHalpert has signed off.
PBeesly has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly: Stalker.
JHalpert: Excuse me?
PBeesly: How do you know my favorite flavor of yogurt?
JHalpert: Um…
JHalpert is away.
PBeesly: Hello?
Auto Response from JHalpert: Watch this, Beesly.
PBeesly: YOU PUT DWIGHT’S STAPLER IN JELL-O?!?
JHalpert is back from away.
JHalpert: It’s a compliment. Jell-o is delicious.
PBeesly: Jim, now is the time to stop putting Dwight’s personal effects in Jell-o.
JHalpert: You know, guffawing is very un-lady-like.
PBeesly: I can’t help it. That prank took the cake.
JHalpert: Niiiice.
JHalpert has signed off.
PBeesly has signed off.
-
PBeesly: Hi, sorry I couldn’t go out for drinks with you guys.
JHalpert: Oh. No big deal.
JHalpert: I have to go. Phone.
PBeesly: Oh. Okay.
JHalpert has signed off.
End Notes:
I assumed that since The Fight is in season two and Dwight is a purple belt there, he would be a green belt in this story. I hope you liked it, it was really fun writing it. =) Reviews are like a shirtless Jim. They make a happy me.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.