Summary: Season five has already premiered, so I guess now I'm just trying to do a conversation for as many episodes as possible. :) Enjoy, this is my first fanfic ever.
Categories: Jim and Pam,
Episode Related Characters: Jim, Other, Pam
Genres: Angst, Fluff, Romance
Warnings: Adult language, Other Adult Theme
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 7
Completed: No
Word count: 6036
Read: 11187
Published: July 04, 2008
Updated: January 02, 2009
all of my past mistakes and all my too little, too lates / Hot Girl by JamFan4
Author's Notes:
Okay, so here's the end of the season one installment of Communication. There are some new things in this one. :D I actually wrote Roy into this one a little and there's a little non-IM part that I managed to add somewhere in the middle. (It's in italics.) I hope I got Roy's voice right, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them!
Inspiration for the title comes from Bridge and Tunnel Authority, a great ska song by the ever-awesome Less Than Jake. :) The title is kind of referring to Pam getting all jealous that Jim is seeing someone that's not her. ;)
PBeesly: Hola.
JHalpert: Good morning :-)
PBeesly: So, how was your Wednesday?
JHalpert: It was OK. I didn’t do much. I did, however, watch Lost.
PBeesly: Dwight watches Lost.
JHalpert: He does not.
PBeesly: It’s true, I heard him talking to Michael about it once.
JHalpert: You’re lying to torture me.
PBeesly: Would I do that, Jim?
JHalpert: If you were bored, probably.
PBeesly: Well it’s like, 9:15, so although we do work at an extremely boring office, I am not bored enough to resort to torture yet, sorry.
JHalpert: Wow. Dwight and I have something in common.
PBeesly: Something besides the Lord of the Rings thing…
JHalpert: I’m pretty sure you said you’d never speak about that again.
PBeesly: And I’m pretty sure I didn’t. :-D
JHalpert: What? Yes, you did.
PBeesly: No, I log all of my IM conversations. I can check.
PBeesly: No agreements in last week’s convos. Again, sorry.
JHalpert: What are you sorry for?
PBeesly: Well, that you’re like Dwight.
JHalpert: You wouldn’t like me if I was like Dwight. :-)
PBeesly: True, but you do have things in common.
JHalpert: As if you don’t watch Lost, too.
PBeesly: Oh, the phone’s ringing. I have to do my job, Jim. Stop distracting me!
JHalpert: Question avoider!
PBeesly is away.
-
PBeesly is back from away.
PBeesly: So, Michael really seems to like Purse Girl.
JHalpert: Isn’t her name Katie or something like that?
PBeesly: I think so. It’s kind of weird that she’s just randomly selling purses here today.
JHalpert: Well, we all have to make a living. For instance, I sell paper.
PBeesly: And I cater to the needs of a man in his forties who acts like he’s seven.
JHalpert: Exactly.
JHalpert: Except I don’t think seven-year-olds would get “that’s what she said.”
PBeesly: A seven-year-old would probably pretend to get it to get attention.
JHalpert: You got me there.
PBeesly: Oh, poor Purse Girl. Michael is going to harass her.
JHalpert: I can sort of see into the conference room. She looks genuinely frightened.
PBeesly: Michael looks genuinely frightening.
JHalpert: But doesn’t he always. :-) Whoops, gotta go, I have a call.
JHalpert is away.
-
RAnderson has signed on.
*New IM with RAnderson from PBeesly*
PBeesly: Am I pretty?
RAnderson: What? Babe, I’m just on the computer to find out the number for Cujino’s so me, Madge, and the guys can get pizza. IM automatically pops up then I turn on the computer.
PBeesly: Yeah, okay, sorry to interrupt.
RAnderson: No problem.
RAnderson has signed off.
-
JHalpert is back from away.
JHalpert: Holy crap.
PBeesly: What?
JHalpert: Holy shit, even. This deserves cursing.
PBeesly: What??
JHalpert: You won’t believe what Larry, one of the camera guys, just told me.
PBeesly: Okay, if the next thing you IM me is not a detailed explanation of what you are cussing about, I will stop putting jelly beans on my desk.
JHalpert: Come on, you wouldn’t do that to me. :-D
JHalpert: Okay, okay, put the jelly beans back, I’ll tell you.
JHalpert: So, I went into the break room to get a grape soda, and Larry was standing there drinking a Coke and he goes: “Jim, I’m really not supposed to show anybody any footage until we’re finished shooting the whole thing, so don’t tell anyone, but you really should see this. I know how much you love making fun of Dwight.”
PBeesly: Oh, this is going to be good.
JHalpert: So he plays back Dwight’s talking head that he’d filmed, like, five minutes ago, and oh my God, Pam, you won’t believe it.
PBeesly: What?
JHalpert: He described everything he liked about Katie and it was so creepy, but hilarious at the same time. The phrase “thirsty Schrute babies” was involved.
PBeesly: Wow. I am never going to be able to sleep, ever again.
JHalpert: Yes, apparently, the following are a list of some of Dwight’s turn-ons.
PBeesly: You are not honestly going to tell me this, are you?
JHalpert: 1. “Creamy” skin
PBeesly: Oh my God.
JHalpert: 2. Straight teeth
PBeesly: I do not want to know this!
JHalpert: 3. Curly hair
When Larry showed Jim the clip, Jim's eyebrows raised in surprise. Apparently, he and Dwight shared the same taste in more than just movies and TV.
JHalpert: Do the qualities in that list sound like anybody we know?
PBeesly: Um, yeah… The Purse Girl, duh.
JHalpert: Actually, it probably sounds more like…
PBeesly: Oh no, you are not about to say me.
PBeesly: You are not about to say I possess the qualities that qualify as Dwight’s turn-ons.
JHalpert: It does sound like you, Beesly.
JHalpert: If you weren’t with Roy, would you take a shot at Dwight? ;-)
PBeesly: Ahh! Don’t even joke! I ate a big breakfast, and now I am fairly certain it’s all coming back up.
JHalpert: I’m sorry, I know that’s probably very traumatizing.
PBeesly: Like, years-of-therapy-to-fix-it traumatizing.
JHalpert: I can ask Michael to refer you to his therapist.
PBeesly: Michael would probably be more stable if he was in therapy.
PBeesly: I would pay for Michael to go to therapy.
PBeesly: In fact, I’m pretty sure the entire office would chip in.
JHalpert: I would.
PBeesly: At least Katie provides a distraction for Michael.
JHalpert: Yeah, I wouldn’t expect him to harass you today.
PBeesly: God willing.
PBeesly: Yay, lunch break!
JHalpert: See you in the break room in five, Beesly. :-)
PBeesly has signed off.
JHalpert has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly: I can’t believe Roy.
JHalpert: That was definitely not his most sensitive moment.
PBeesly: And Understatement of the Year goes to Jim Halpert.
JHalpert: Wait, the Dundies were like, six months ago…
PBeesly: You’re not funny.
JHalpert: Yes, I am.
PBeesly: :-(
JHalpert: I know how to cheer you up.
PBeesly: And how do you plan to do that?
JHalpert: You’ll just have to see, Beesly…
JHalpert is away.
PBeesly: Is it a prank on Dwight??? :-D
Auto Response from JHalpert: Patience is a virtue. ;-)
-
JHalpert is back from away.
PBeesly: Oh, my God. That was amazing.
JHalpert: *takes virtual bow*
PBeesly: Nice Dwight voice, by the way. My ears are still recovering.
JHalpert: Thank you, my vocal cords are still recovering.
PBeesly: Oh, no. Michael wants me in his office.
JHalpert: That’s what she said.
PBeesly: Gross. You’re not helpful.
JHalpert: I like it that way. :-)
PBeesly has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
PBeesly: Jim, he wanted to know what I thought about futons.
JHalpert: Excuse me?
PBeesly: Sorry, we need to talk in person. It’s too good for IM.
JHalpert: Nothing’s too good for IM.
PBeesly: If you don’t come over here, I’ll go to your desk. It’s just priceless.
JHalpert: I’ll be waiting.
PBeesly: See you in five seconds.
PBeesly has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
PBeesly: Yay, it’s four fifty-nine!
JHalpert: You said it, Beesly.
PBeesly: Have fun with Katie.
JHalpert: Have fun with Roy.
PBeesly: See you later.
JHalpert: Bye, Pam.
End Notes:
Oh, and in case you were wondering why Katy's name is spelled wrong throughout the chapter, I assumed that Jim and Pam didn't know that her name was the less traditional spelling of that nickname. Because I'm anal with details like that. :D
Also, I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but I agree with my fictional Jim on this one: Nothing's too good for IM. :D
Reading reviews is like watching Jim and Pam and their subtle flirting - it's totally fun. And you wouldn't deprive me of fun, would you? :(
Not reviewing is like Roy tickling Pam to get her to forgive him - it's totally lame. ;)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.