Pam suppressed a laugh as she sat across from Jim in the conference room. She placed a bag of French Onion Sun Chips on the table, trying as hard as she could to keep a straight face. Jim shook his head disappointedly at her, pushing the chips away pointedly so that Dwight, who was listening at the doorway, could see.

“Pamela,” he hissed, a look of disgust across his face. “My kind do not eat these. You should know that.”

Pam bowed her head. “I’m sorry, master.”

“You will be punished,” Jim said, standing up quickly. He grabbed Pam, shut the door, and began to kiss her neck as he closed the blinds. When he was positive Dwight couldn’t see anything, but could still hear, he pulled back and let out a loud hiss.

Pam collapsed in a fit of quiet giggles. “Oh my God!”

Jim raised a finger to his lips. “Pam, no one can know,” he said loudly. “You have a responsibility to keep all of the information about my kind-”

“Jim,” she murmured, just loud enough for Dwight to hear. “Our kind.”

“Of course, my darling,” he murmured back, placing a gentle kiss to her lips. Dwight couldn’t see, but he felt impulsive. “We must keep it all a secret.”

“I promise that I will,” she said solemnly.

Jim checked his watch and realized it was 12:30: lunchtime. He grinned, knowing what he was about to say would drive Dwight up the wall. “Are you hungry, my darling?” he asked.

Pam pretended to sniff the air. “All of this fresh blood smells simply delicious!” she exclaimed. “Who can we prey on first?”

“No one here; there will be too many suspicions.”

“Jim,” she whined. “I need to eat.”

“How about we hunt some sort of animal?” he asked. “No one will notice if just one deer disappears.”

“Let’s go now! I don’t think I can bear the thirst any longer!” she said, her voice breaking with a laugh.

Jim kissed her on the mouth once and grabbed her hand. “Follow my lead.”

He popped his collar and bowed his head, slumping her shoulders in the process. Pam bowed her head as well, folding her hands and slumping her shoulders. They both exited the conference room in that fashion, walking to the coat rack slowly, then left the office.

As they exited the entire building, they heard Dwight’s hurried footsteps behind them. As if on cue, they both stopped short. Jim turned around slowly, his collar still popped and around his neck. “Good night, Dwight,” he said slowly, quietly.

Jim and Pam continued towards Pam’s car (she was giving him a ride home), ignoring Dwight’s frustrated sighing. When they were safely out of the parking lot, they pulled the car over, laughing like a couple of crazy people.

“What are we going to do tomorrow?” he asked, unable to hide his grin. “I mean, the possibilities are-”

Jim stopped in the middle of his sentence, and when Pam narrowed her eyes out of curiosity, he simply pointed to something across the street. Pam’s gaze followed his outstretched hand, and she let out a gasp.

“Oh my God,” she said for the second time that day. “Those people! They’re… they’re…”

“Beautiful,” the pair said in unison.

Across the street, a group of six truly beautiful beings snickered the second the comment left their mouths.

“Weird coincidence,” Jim muttered, putting the car back in drive and speeding almost the whole way home.

He had no idea that the beings across the street were vampires, and how coincidental it actually was.

“Weird coincidence indeed,” muttered Edward Cullen, and led his family away, knowing full well that they would meet up with those humans again soon.

One Week Earlier:

Bella was sitting by the computer in the room that she shared with Edward, researching. She was able to be around humans now, but she didn’t want to go to school. At first, she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life, but then the idea dawned on her: she could get a job.

She sighed. Sure, she wanted to work, but didn’t want to get a job in someplace dreary and cold like Alaska; she wanted somewhere more suburban. How about… she clicked away on the computer… Pennsylvania. Yes. That area sounded perfect. She clicked away some more, reading about beautiful houses, huge park areas, and even a lot of forests, which meant good hunting.

Bella then came upon a job list on her computer. It was for an area in Pennsylvania called Scranton, and there were quite a few jobs open. Burger King (no), Staples (no), Personal Trainer (absolutely not)… She clicked once more. Dunder Mifflin paper company.

Perfect, she thought.

“Edward?” she called.

He appeared, vampire speed. “Yes, love?”

“Well, I was thinking… I can control my bloodlust now, and you know how I don’t want to go to school... what do you think about letting me finding a job?”

Edward let a small smile invade his lips. “Of course. Where were you thinking of?”

“I wanted-”

Alice’s tiny voice interrupted Bella mid-sentence. “We’re moving to Scranton!”

Bella smiled at him. “That’s where I was thinking of.”

Edward then laughed a bit, and Bella knew that he had just read Alice’s mind. “It looks like Alice has already packed and found a house for us.”

Bella jumped up and wrapped her arms around Edward. “We’re going to have such a good time in Scranton,” she whispered.

They had no idea of what they would face at Dunder Mifflin.

Current Time

The Cullens had just finished unpacking their belongings, and getting used to their brand new house on the outskirts of Scranton. Currently, all but Carlisle and Esme were getting “humanized” to go on their interviews for jobs at Dunder Mifflin. Alice had already looked into the future, and she knew that they would get the jobs, but they had to be presentable nonetheless. All six had just hunted, so none were thirsty, and they were ready to be around humans.

Instead of working in paper sales, Carlisle would work as a doctor at a local hospital, and Esme would act as a housewife. They were all able to pass for 23 year olds, straight out of college. They knew that people in Scranton would buy their act.

The moment Edward stepped out of the parking lot and into the office building, he could hear many of the employee’s thoughts. One immediately stood out to him.

There are now two vampires in this area.

Edward got tense, but then heard the voices of a male and a female, “What are we going to do to him tomorrow? I mean, the possibilities are-”

Then the male and the female turned to the Cullens, their mouths agape. All of them made sure not to look at the two people.

Edward was already able to understand what the two people were doing. They were just playing a trick one someone. He was also able to get the dirt on the two people; their names were Jim Halpert and Pam Beesley, they were extremely close, and were both pranksters.

There were a few people in the office when the Cullens arrived, and Edward scanned their minds. It was because most of them were on their lunch breaks, including the couple that the family just saw. Dwight Schrute, who looked quite strange to all Cullen family members, was the only one who thought the couple that they had just seen were vampires.

The other thoughts in the office weren’t really concentrated on anything. But the boss, Michael Scott was in the office. That was who they went to, to get the jobs. So they started to climb the stairs at human pace. They explained to the security guard that they were there for an interview, Alice had already called the office beforehand to set up the interview for all six of us.

When they got up to the room, the boss, Michael Scott, came out of his office and greeted them.

“These must be the six new victims!”

Michael started laughing and held out his hand to shake each one of the Cullen’s. When he was done shaking their hands, he fake-shivered and said, “Wow, your hands are cold. Is it cold out, or something?”

Edward cleared his throat. “When do you want to start the interview?”

Michael took a look at the six beautiful vampires in front of him. “You all already got the job. We needed more attractive people in this office anyways.”

Michael showed everyone to their desks, and each couple happened to be working in the same area. Alice and Jasper were in Human Resources, Emmett and Rosalie were in accounting, and Edward and Bella were in sales. Edward’s desk was right next to Jim Halpert’s, and Bella’s desk was where Karen Filipelli used to sit. They still had a perfect view of each other.

Once everyone was sitting, they started to play with their computers, just to make sure they knew what to do. Of course, they all did. Edward was watching Bella interact with Pam, who invited them to dinner. As the couples left for a restaurant, he was scoping out everyone’s mind to see if they suspected anything. Most of the thoughts were just, they look so young, or, they’re so beautiful.

Or Dwight’s, I must warn them.

--

Jim waited until the beautifuls (that’s what he called the new employees at the office) were completely settled before calling Pam into the conference room. She sat down across from him, pouting.

“This vampire prank is too elaborate,” she whined. “I haven’t drank any water all day because vampires can only drink blood.”

“Keep your voice down! We don’t want him to hear us.” He grinned, pulling out a bottle of fruit punch Gatorade. “Just drink this. Added bonus if you stain your top lip red.”

“As you wish, master,” Pam responded dryly, before chugging almost half the bottle. “Hey,” she said, once she was finished. “You want to invite the new people to go to dinner with us tonight? They seem nice.”

“Why not?” Jim asked, then snapped his fingers, thinking of something suddenly. “I don’t know, Pam. Dwight might think that we’re-”

“Jim,” she interrupted, annoyed slightly. “This prank is funny, but these people just moved here, don’t know anyone, and now have to deal with Michael on a daily basis.” She took his hand gently, smiling up at him. “I took you to lunch on your first day, and look at us now. Please think about it?”

“You’re right. Let’s do it.” He smiled back. “Dwight’ll think we’re biting everyone up.”

“Win-win situation.”

-

Once Pam was done for the night, she walked up to one of the beautifuls.

“Hello, Bella,” said Pam, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“Hi!” Bella said brightly. “You’re Pam, right?”

Pam nodded. “I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me and my boyfriend today?”

Bella visibly stiffened, and she turned to another beautiful. He smiled reassuringly at her, and she smiled back. “Sure. We- uh, I would love to go. Can I bring my husband?”

“Gosh, you’re married already?” Pam blurted without thinking, but quickly resumed her vampire stance. “Pardon my outburst. Of course you may bring him. What’s his name?”

“Edward,” Bella sighed dreamily, and Pam smiled.

“You guys seem like you’re in love.”

“We are!” Bella exclaimed, shrugging on her jacket. “And you? You’re beautiful…” Pam blushed at the compliment. “You must have someone special as well?”

“I do. My boyfriend, Jim, is sitting next to Edward. See?” Pam pointed; Jim nodded slightly. “Sorry he’s not so friendly today. We’re- uh, how about I tell you over dinner?”

Bella smiled. “I’d like that.”

The two women walked out, and Jim approached Edward.

“Would you care to dine with my mate and I tonight?” he asked.

Edward raised his eyebrows like any regular human would, and nodded cautiously. “Uh... sure. Was that your mate who just walked out with my wife? Bella?”

Jim nodded once. “That was her. Let us go.”

They walked out, and once they were free from Dwight’s cautious gaze, Jim let out a laugh. “Listen, man, I’m sorry. I’m pulling a prank on one of the guys in there.”

“What are you doing?” Edward asked innocently, then smiled. “May I help?”

Jim grinned. “We’ll discuss over dinner.”

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER THREE

Each couple took a separate car, and Edward was careful to drive at the speed limit. He didn’t want to upset Jim or Pam.

When they got there, they parked their cars and walked into the restaurant. They were quickly seated by a female hostess, who could not keep her eyes off of Edward or Jim.

Jim and Pam sat across from Edward and Bella in a booth. Bella said, “So, Edward told me on the way over that you guys are into a very… interesting prank.”

Jim laughed. “You know my co-worker Dwight?”

“The weird one with glasses?” asked Bella, turning to Pam. She confirmed with a nod.

Jim continued, “Well, a few days ago, a bat was found in the office. Don’t worry, it’s gone now… But before it left, I was able to get Dwight to believe that it was a vampire bat, and that it bit me.”

Edward raised his eyebrows again. “And he believed you?”

Just then, the waitress came and took their orders. Once she left again, and finished drooling over the men at the table, Jim continued.

“He’s easy to prank. That’s why he’s my target most of the time.”

“Oh.”

Then Pam said, “So then today Jim ‘bit’ me, and turned me into a vampire.”

“How can we be of assistance?” Edward asked willingly.

“Dwight was able to hear that we were going out to dinner tonight,” Jim said, “so we were wondering if you two could pretend that you’re vampires to weird him out even more?”

Edward and Bella couldn’t help but chuckle at this; there was no need to pretend for them. But there was no need for Pam and Jim to know about that.

“I think that we could do that,” Edward said, chuckling still

Jim smiled wider, “Great! All you need to do is act suspicious. You know, hide from sunlight, stay away from garlic, check your teeth-”

“Our teeth?”

“Just keep checking them so that your ‘fangs’ won’t show.”

Bella flicked her tongue over her teeth, grinning. “That should be easy.”

“Great!” Pam said, then searched frantically for the waitress. “Where’s our food? I’m starved. I wasn’t allowed to eat today,” she said, glaring at Jim, but smiling. “Strict blood diet.”

All of the table couldn’t help but laugh at that. Edward and Bella for other reasons.

Edward decided to change the topic “So what’s with all the cameras everywhere?”

“They’re making a documentary about our office,” Pam replied. “You learn to get used to them. Sometimes they ask you for short interviews… just answer their questions.”

Then Jim started shaking his head, “No… stay away from the cameras.”

Pam was confused for a second then Edward started nodding his head. “We won’t show up on camera.”

Pam laughed. “How could I forget? Stay away from mirrors, too.”

“I don’t think that Dwight has thought about the camera thing yet,” Jim said. “We’re good for now, but when he does, we’ll figure something out.”

“Thanks for helping us,” Pam said.

Bella and Edward nodded their heads. Before they could say anything, the pizza came. It was disgusting for Bella and Edward, but they managed. Other than the food, the dinner was nice, and before they knew it, it was time to pay the check.

Before they left, Jim said, “Maybe we should all come into the office earlier tomorrow; too much sun.”

Then Edward said, “And close all the blinds before anyone comes.”

Jim started nodding his head, his eyes lighting up, “Yes!”

They said their goodbyes and then drove to their own homes.

Bella and Edward got into the car, and they started driving home, full-speed. “This is going to be fun.”

Bella laughed. “I know. Jim and Pam are really nice. They’re so cute together.”

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why they’re not married yet?”

“He wants to. They both do. He’s been carrying around an engagement ring everywhere with him.”

Bella’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Edward nodded his head, “Yeah. He got it one week after they started dating.”

“Wow! When did they start dating?”

Edward shook his head. “It’s complicated, and I don’t really think that it’s much of our business. Maybe we should stay out of it.”

Bella nodded her head, knowing she would most definitely not stay out of their business. “Okay, I’ll leave it alone.”

When they got into the house, a small pixie-like vampire was basically bouncing off the walls. She ran up to them when she caught a glimpse of them.

“This is going to be so much fun!” she squealed.

Then Bella said, “So I guess that you heard the plan.”

Alice then said, “Bella, I’m a physic, I saw most of the plan. Not all of it though. Just bits and pieces.”

Jasper came up, placing his hands on Alice’s shoulders. “Alice, calm down okay?”

Then Alice said, “I can’t help it! It’s just so much fun. We should have Jim and Pam over for dinner one night! They seem really nice.”

Bella then said, “Yeah, but won’t it be a little awkward?”

“Nonsense.”

Edward let out a big, unnecessary sigh and grabbed Bella’s hand, starting to head towards their room, “We’ll be in our room if you need anything.”

Even with the door closed, they still heard Alice jumping around.

-

“You think they’ll agree to help us?” Pam asked timidly.

Jim shrugged. “Hope so. They look… suspicious enough.”

“What do you mean?”
“I mean they look like they could be vampires,” Jim said honestly. “They really do.”

Pam linked her fingers with his. “I think you’re getting way too into this.”

They arrived at the restaurant, and Pam dealt with the customary waitresses-and-hostesses-staring-at-Jim. Though she didn’t want to admit it, Bella had it worse. Edward was gorgeous.

Jim led her to a booth, and they both sat down, Bella and Edward across from them. They began chatting about the prank, and Pam watched Jim’s face light up completely when Edward thought of new ideas. They chatted comfortably over dinner, and before they knew it, it was time to pay the check. Once they all said their goodbyes, Jim and Pam climbed into Jim’s car, on the way to his house where she would be staying for the night.

“They make great vampires,” Jim said excitedly. “I can’t wait for tomorrow!”

“Me either,” Pam admitted, and switched the topic back to the Cullens. “They’re really nice. I think we should hang out with them more.”

“Definitely.”

They arrived at Jim’s house, and went inside. She pulled him onto the couch, cuddling up next to him and falling asleep almost immediately afterwards. Jim placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and checked to make sure she was definitely asleep. When he confirmed that she was, he pulled out the ring box that he was keeping in his pocket, fingered it for a little while, and put it back inside.

Once the week was over, he vowed, he would propose. He had to.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The next morning, Jim and Pam arrived at the office at around 8:00… a good half an hour before Dwight would get there. As they closed the door behind them and sat down, they heard the Cullens walk in.

“Pam, did we come early enough?” Bella asked worriedly. “We aren’t late, are we?”

Pam kept a completely stone-straight face. “You are late, Bella. Jim will not be pleased.”

Edward arrived at Bella’s side swiftly, his face also set in stone. “Is this one bothering you, my dearest mate?”

Pam snorted, covering her mouth to hide her giggles. “You’re really good!”

“Don’t encourage him,” Bella warned. “It’ll get to his head.”

Pam rolled her eyes. “I live with this ham,” she said, pointing at Jim. “And his head is already the size of a watermelon. Trust me, I’m used to it.”

Jim swooped in and kissed her on the cheek. “It just gets better. I called someone else to come in early.”

“Here I am!” said the tiny voice of Alice Cullen, suddenly becoming melancholy. “How may I be of assistance?”

“Just act like you’re suspicious of us,” Bella giggled.

“You can start by helping us close the blinds,” Jim offered, and they did. They all started closing all of the blinds in the office, making sure that no light got in.

Jim heard the door, and quieted all of them. “Sit down,” he whispered. “And remember to be still.”

Dwight entered the office, and upon seeing the five people there, he froze. “What is the meaning of this?”

“The normal hour that we arrive is much too bright,” Pam said.

“We decided to come in at a more convenient time,” Bella added.

“Is that a problem, Dwight?” Edward asked. “That you are all alone with us?”

Dwight gulped and placed his briefcase on his desk. “Of course not. I’m not afraid of you.”

“Why would you be?” Pam asked innocently.

Dwight ignored her and went to sit down, but before he could, Alice walked up to him. And began pulling him towards the kitchen. He followed timidly.

“I’m sorry, but it wasn’t safe to talk out there.” Alice said, looking directly at Edward, who was doing a fantastic job at hiding his laughter.

“What is it that you want to talk about, Alice?”

“Well… Bella and Edward have been acting very strange lately. They’re always looking at my family like we’re some sort of food or something. It’s getting freaky.”

Dwight quickly got worried. “Anything else?”

“Just that yesterday I asked them if they wanted to go outside and play some baseball, it’s always been a family sport you know? So at first they were all for it, but then the sun started to come out, and they wouldn’t come with us. The next thing I knew, they disappeared into the woods.”

Dwight started to get more worried as Alice continued. “Another thing. Last night they didn’t come home. I just saw them for the first time at the office today because they called me in early. I remember them saying something about respecting Jim’s wishes…what does that mean? And why am I here so early?”

“I think that it would be in your best interest to stay away from those two family members of yours,” Dwight warned. “Stay away from Jim and Pam as well. These are dangerous times, young Alice.”

Dwight left her in the kitchen and went back to his desk. He began to work. Jim let him type for about five minutes before he rose, covering his mouth.

“Pamela,” Jim said robotically. “Please come here. My teeth are feeling funny. You must check them for me.”

“Of course,” Pam said, mimicking his tone. When she peered into his mouth, she gasped. “Oh my. Master, you’re showing.”

Dwight immediately jumped up. “Showing what? As a volunteer sheriff’s deputy I have the right to know.”

Jim turned away. “Nothing that concerns you. You are just a mere mortal.”

Dwight gasped, but before he could say anything, a few people started to file into the office. “Damn it, Jim,” he cursed, sitting down and turning on his computer.

Jim and Pam smiled at the Cullens. It was going to be a fun day.

----

Soon the rest of the co-workers came into the office. The day started off normally, people were doing their jobs. Then the camera crew asked Dwight if they could have a short interview with them. Dwight nodded his head and they went to the conference room.

The camera-man asked Dwight about the new people in the office.

“They seem like very nice people, but I don’t trust any of them. Especially the young couple, Bella and Edward. I believe Jim has already gotten to them. I fear for the rest of their family, as well as everyone else in the office.” Dwight took a pause. “I don’t want to kill anyone. But if matters get worse, I might have to do something drastic.”

Dwight came back into the office, and everyone ignored him as usual. He glanced over, and Jim was glaring at him. Dwight tried hard to ignore it; he didn’t want to get on a vampire’s bad side.

Dwight looked at the clock: 11:30, it was time for his lunch break. He looked around the office then he went to Michael’s private office. “Michael?”

“Yes, Dwight?”

“I’m going out for my lunch break. Be careful.”

Michael responded without even looking up. “Have fun.”

Dwight was concerned about how little Michael worried about this situation, and he knew that there was one other person that he had to talk to before he left. He walked by accounting, and as he was walking past Angela, he quickly and quietly said, “Kitchen. Now.”

He walked over to the kitchen and waited for Angela. After a few seconds Angela got up from her desk and walked into the kitchen. Dwight and Angela had gotten good at the whole, pretending to not be talking to each other thing.

Then Angela said, “Is something the matter, Dwight?”

“Stay away from Jim and Pam, and the two new workers, Bella and Edward.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, woman.”

Then Dwight walked out of the kitchen and grabbed his coat. Jim was standing by Pam’s desk, and just as Dwight was heading out the door, Jim murmured, “Goodbye Dwight.”

That only made Dwight walk faster. He fled to the parking lot, and as soon as his foot hit the gas, he started to head towards the grocery store.

Once he got inside and found a huge section of garlic, he got as much as he could in his hands. He also walked to the plants section and found wild roses and hawthorns. He did his research, and knew that these items would scare away vampires. Once he got a good number of all of his supplies, he walked up to the cash register.

The clerk laughed. “Hunting vampires?”

Dwight’s eyes widened. “Have you seen any?”

The salesperson was trying hard not to laugh. “No I’m afraid not. That’s going to be 73.87.”

Dwight had bought a lot of supplies.

He decided to leave his supplies in his car. Tonight he would stay late and plant them around the office; he couldn’t risk any of the vampires seeing him. As soon as he got into the office he noticed that both Jim and Pam were missing. He started to worry for a minute, but then he realized it was their lunch break, they had started to recently go out for lunch instead of staying in. This worried him.

By the time Jim got back, Dwight had been doing even more research. Apparently, vampires could feed on animal blood during the day. Were Jim and Pam feeding on animals during lunch? He shuddered and looked around: no vampires. He bent down to tie his shoe, and when he looked back up, Jim was sitting at his desk.

“Why hello, Dwight.”

Dwight let out a yelp. “Hello, Jim.”

“I was walking by your car earlier today.”

Dwight’s eye opened wide. He realized that he had left the garlic and the flowers in the backseat of his car; anyone could see them.

Jim continued, “Are you planning some sort of gathering, Dwight?”

“Yes.” He had to be very careful with his choice of words. “A party.”

“What kind of party, Dwight?”

“A… night time party.”

Jim then looked very serious, and slightly deadly. He glared at Dwight. “And who has been invited to this party?”

Dwight looked at Edward, he was also glaring at Dwight. He looked around the rest of the office. Pam was glaring straight at Dwight, and so was Bella. Nobody else.

Dwight cleared his throat. “It’s a family party.”

“Family,” Jim repeated in a murmur. “Interesting.”

Dwight looked up and realized that Jim was leaning in extremely close to him. When Jim was aware that Dwight knew what he was doing, he straightened his back. “Have fun at your party, Dwight.”

Dwight nodded his head and then started to get back on his work.

Edward walked over to Jim’s desk. “Sir-”

Dwight stopped concentrating on his work, and shifted his attention to the conversation, keeping his head down in order to be incognito.

“I told you to call me Jim at work. Imbecile.”

“I am sorry, Jim. I just wanted to make sure that our plans were the same for tonight.”

“As always.”

“Good. We are quite thirsty.”

“I thought you would be.” Jim looked around. “We have said too much, get back to work.”

Edward scampered back to his computer, typing frantically.

Dwight continued on with his work, but he knew that he needed to stop these four vampires from taking over Scranton. But how?

Just as Dwight was thinking of ways to save the world, Michael appeared from his office. He didn’t say anything, just looked around the desks. Then he walked towards Pam’s desk.

“Hey Pam,”

Pam looked up from her computer and said, “Hey Michael.”

“Any new messages?”

Pam shook her head, “No, I would have told you if there were any.”

Michael nodded his head and then leaned into Pam’s desk, “So tell me about this new girl, Bella.”

“Um she’s…”

“She’s hot isn’t she?”

Pam looked at the camera wearily, and Michael continued, oblivious. “I would say watch out for her because of Jim, but that won’t be a problem, because I will make sure that Jim stays away from her.”

“Um, Bella’s ma…”

Michael ignored her, and walked back to his office. Before he went inside, he stopped in front of Edward’s desk, perching himself awkwardly on top. Jim turned his chair around and looked at Pam, whose face was still in shock. Jim was trying hard not to break out laughing.

Dwight, on the other hand, became completely worried. Michael was about to talk to a vampire. So Dwight quickly sat up straight and viewed the conversation that Edward and Michael were about to have. He also quietly opened his drawer and took out a small sprayer of holy water, just in case this vampire did anything to harm Michael. He clutched it tightly in his hand.

“So, Edward, are you having a nice time here at Dunder Mifflin?” Michael asked.

“It is most definitely a… different experience. I am enjoying myself, though.”

“I bet you never had a boss as fun as me, right?”

Edward hesitated. “Of course, Michael.”

Michael sighed at the hesitation. “I’m just going to let you get back to work now.”

Edward nodded his head. Then Jim turned around and looked at Dwight.

“Dwight.”

“Jim.”

“What’s in your hand?”

Dwight became extremely worried for a minute, “Nothing that concerns you. Get back to work.” Dwight quickly put the holy water back in his desk.

Michael walked to Bella’s desk and sat on it in the same way he did with Edward’s desk, except this time he was closer.

“So Bella, are you enjoying Dunder Mifflin?”

Bella looked up and smiled. “I’m having a good time here, yes.”

“Yeah, it’s a fun place.” He paused. “You probably haven’t been able to see Scranton that much, have you?”

“I…”

“Maybe after work I could show you around?” Michael moved a little closer to Bella and then leaned a little closer in her ear, trying to whisper a little bit, “You know, go for a drive, maybe get drinks, see where the night goes on from there…”

Edward was starting to get extremely annoyed with Michael Scott; his thoughts were even worse than his words. He had to try hard not to jump and attack Michael right there. He was gripping so hard on his mouse, he was working hard not to break it.

“I have plans,” Bella said, feigning disappointment. “Plus, my husband and I have already driven around, so we know the area pretty well.”

Michael got up from the desk and put his hands in his pocket. “Wow, you’re married?”

Bella brandished her ring. “Yeah.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. We’ve been married for te-five years.” Bella always forgot that she was playing a 23 year old, not a 28 year old.

“You know, I just got out of a relationship with my long-time girlfriend.”

“Oh I’m sorry to…”

Michael cut her off. “So, what’s your husband’s name?”

Bella pointed to Edward, who pretended like he was oblivious to the entire conversation. And more concentrated on not killing Michael.

Michael turned to Edward. “Wow!” Michael chuckled. “You’re married to the hotter version of Jim? I never would have guessed. I thought he was your brother.”

“Um, no, we’re married.”

Michael looked down, “Well that’s good, I guess, it would be a little awkward if you were sleeping around with your brother.”

“Um who said that we were…”

Then Michael said, “I hope that you have a nice time here at Dunder Mifflin.”

Michael slowly walked away, then headed to Pam’s desk.

“Why didn’t you tell me that she was married?” he whispered furiously.

“I tried, Michael, but you…”

“These are the kind of things that you should tell me.”

Pam sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“You tell me when someone is dating the hotter version of Jim.”

“He has a name, and they’re married, not dating.”

“That would have been great if you told me that before Pam, not now. And I know that he has a name. What is it, Edmond?”

“Edward.”

“Ugh. Same thing.”

Then Michael walked back to his office for his interview.

“I just can’t believe Pam didn’t tell me.

“Edmond… Edward… whatever his name is, is officially the hotter, younger version of Jim. Can’t you see it? They’re both tall. And well… Edward is just better-looking. Move over, Halpert, you are no longer the second best looking guy in the office. You’re third.”

A pause. “What do you mean, who’s the best looking guy in the office? Do you really have to ask me that?”

--

Bella and Edward decided to take a drive around Scranton for their lunch break. When they both got into the car, Edward quickly pulled Bella into a passionate kiss.

After a few minutes, they both pulled away, and Edward started driving. The look on his face was concentrated, and extremely angered.

“What’s wrong?” Bella asked.

Without taking his eyes off of the road, Edward said, “I don’t like the way that Michael guy was thinking about you.”

Bella let out a small laugh and leaned over to kiss Edward on the cheek. “Try not to worry so much about it, okay?”

“His thoughts were worse then anything I have ever come by.”

Bella took Edward’s hand. “I’m sorry that you had to hear them.”

“Me too,” Edward mumbled.

“So what’s it like being the hotter version of Jim?” Bella asked after a few moments of silence. As soon as the sentence escaped her lips, she broke out into a laughing fit.

Edward kept a straight face. “It’s not funny.”

Bella’s laughter died down. “You’re thinking too much about this Michael thing, just let it go.”

Edward ignored her. “I hate it when other guys think about you.”

“You’re so over-protective,” Bella sighed.

Then Edward lifted up Bella’s hand and kissed it. “I know. I just want you to be safe.”

Bella snorted. “You seriously think that Michael could hurt me?”

Edward let a small smiled play across his lips. “No, I suppose not.” He paused. “But his thoughts…” Edward’s smile faded away, and he gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“Edward!” Bella scolded. “You’re going to break your car.”

Edward looked down and lightened his grip. “Oops.”

“Oops is right,” Bella agreed, laughing. “I know that you love this car… Let’s not ruin it, please.”

Edward nodded his head. Then, out of nowhere, he pulled the car over and put two fingers on the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and groaning.

“What’s wrong, love?” Bella asked worriedly.

“Michael’s thoughts won’t get out of my head.”

“Oh.” She brushed some hair out of his face, and kissed him gently on the forehead. “Were they really that bad?”

“Let’s just say… if you got together 100 guys thinking the dirtiest things about you for their entire lives, they wouldn’t equal what Michael Scott was thinking about you for five minutes.”

Bella started laughing again. “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad… you do tend to over-react sometimes.”

“Bella,” he said dryly. “You have no idea.”

Bella kissed Edward gently on the lips. “If it makes you feel any better, I think that you are the best looking guy in the office.”

Edward put his arm around Bella’s neck, pulling her closer, then saying, “Now look who’s biased.”

He pulled her into a kiss. “I love you, Bella.”

“I love you too, Edmond.”

Bella started laughing again, and Edward pinched the bridge of his nose again. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and pulled his hand down, guiding it towards the steering wheel. They drove back to the office in silence, holding hands.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

At the end of their first week at Dunder Mifflin, Bella stood and walked over to Pam. She had a genuine question for her, but made sure she was as stone-still as possible, because Dwight was near.

“Hello, Pamela.”

Pam nodded once. “Bella.”

“Would you care to dine with me later? Just us females?” Bella smiled genuinely and lowered her voice. “I was thinking a cup of coffee?”

Pam smiled. “Great, Bella! I know a coffee shop a few minutes away. I’ll drive.”

“Okay! I’ll see you later, then.”

“Sure!”

Bella waved slightly, and Pam sat down, smiling. Jim saw her smile and walked up to the desk. He refrained from grabbing a jelly bean.

“What was that about?” he asked quietly.

“Bella wants to get a coffee after work,” she said, smiling.

Jim put a hand to his heart, “I’m hurt, Beesly. Not going out to dinner with your master?”

“I’m sorry, master,” Pam giggled. She grabbed his hand, running her fingers over his. “Why don’t you do something with Edward tonight?”

“We could totally get mani-pedis.”

Pam stared blankly. “You could do what?”

“Manicures and pedicures, Pam. Get with the program.” Jim shook his head disappointedly. When he saw Pam’s look of horror, he winked, grinning. “Spa treatments, mud baths... the works.”

Pam giggled again. Jim planted a small kiss on her forehead and headed back to his desk. He decided to ask Edward to go for a drink after work. Edward agreed to this. Jim wanted to talk to Edward about a few things anyways.
--

Pam and Bella sat down at the coffee shop, Pam holding tea, Bella holding a glass of water.

”Before I say anything, can I just say how cute you and Jim are together?” Bella asked, touching Pam’s arm gently. “You two seem to be a match made in heaven.”

Pam hesitated. “We went through some crap before we got together.”

“I’m sorry,” Bella said quickly. “I didn’t know…”

“You couldn’t have known,” Pam reassured her. “But we’re together now, and that’s what matters.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, when did you meet him?”

“His first day at Dunder Mifflin,” Pam said, smiling fondly. “I took him to lunch.”

“Your first date?” Bella assumed.

“No, I just took him as a friend. Not even. I took him as a co-worker,” Pam said. “I… I was actually engaged at the time.”

“Oh,” Bella said quietly.

“I was engaged for three years to the same guy. His name was Roy,” Pam continued. “The week before we got married… well, that was when Jim told me that he loved me. And he kissed me, too.”

“And you left your fiancé?” Bella asked, completely absorbed in Pam’s story.

“No. Jim left me.” Pam laughed at Bella’s confused expression. “Physically, I mean. Jim moved to Stamford when he found out I was still going to marry.” Pam sighed. “I fell apart after that. I broke it off with Roy and called Jim. I guess he didn’t hate me too much, because he moved back. There were some rough patches, but we’ve been together ever since.”

“You guys have been through a lot,” Bella observed quietly.

Pam nodded, shrugging. “It was worth it, though, because I love him. I really do.”

“I can tell he loves you too,” Bella said. “Edward was talking to him earlier, and Jim kept on saying how he wants to be with you forever.”

Pam’s thumb traced over her left-hand ring finger. “Really?”

“Edward told me that, but anyone with eyes can see it,” Bella laughed, but when she saw Pam’s blank face, she got confused. “Don’t you want to be with him forever, too?”

“I do. I just wish he’d propose already.”

“He doesn’t have to,” Bella said. “About twelve percent of women nowadays propose to their boyfriends.”

Pam smiled. “I’d rather be part of the other eight-eight percent. Thanks, though.”

Bella waved it off. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“I could tell you about all of the weird people in our office if you want.”

Bella smiled, taking a tentative sip of her water. “I want to know more about Dwight.”

Pam smiled. “Well, for starters, he owns a beet farm…”

They talked about people in the office at first, but eventually, the conversation branched out to other things as well. Even though Bella was a vampire, and Pam was generally shy, both women found characteristics in the other that were worthy of a friend, and they clicked immediately. The coffee seemed to be over too soon, and they decided that they’d meet again after work sometimes.

“It was fun,” they agreed, then went their separate ways.

--

When Bella got home, Edward was sitting at the piano. She sat next to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Hey.”

“You are so nosey,” he said lightly, laughing.

“I think Pam’s my friend now,” Bella argued, getting angry. “I have a right to talk to her about what I want to!”

“I’m just kidding, love,” he murmured. “She likes you.”

Bella’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Pam is deciding right now that she has a new friend,” he explained.

“She really thinks I’m her friend?” Bella asked excitedly.

Edward nodded again. “She thinks you are the most normal person at the office.”

Bella laughed. “If only she knew.”

“She wants to poke fun at Jim,” Edward said, clearly scanning Pam’s thoughts. “She wants to go home and tell him that he’s been replaced in the, and I quote, ‘best friend category’.” Edward grinned. “She’s in for a surprise when she gets home.”

“What are you talking about?” Bella asked.

Edward shrugged. “Your new friend will tell you Monday.”

--

Pam stepped into Jim’s apartment, throwing her stuff down. It was Friday, and she wanted to go inside and relax. She sat down on the couch and propped her feet up on the coffee table.

“Jim?” she called.

“In the kitchen!” he yelled back. “Come in for a sec! I have to show you something.”

She got up willingly. “As you wish, master!”

Pam walked towards the kitchen. The door was closed. That was weird; Jim always left it open. She shrugged and pushed gently.

She gasped.

On the kitchen table, there was a white, linen tablecloth. On top of that, there were two candles in the center, two plates on either side, and then place settings; silverware, napkins, glasses. Jim walked to the table, placing a steaming plate of steak in the center.

“Happy three-month-and-twenty-six-day anniversary!” he said, grinning.

Pam, who was trying to hold back tears (of joy, of course), jumped into Jim’s arms and kissed him. When she pulled back, her eyes were wet. “I love you.”

“I’m so in love with you.” He kissed her again, and pulled her in for a hug. She leaned her head on his chest, and they stayed like for so long that by the time they sat down, the steak was cold.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Bella approached Pam the next day at work. She couldn’t help but notice that there was still no ring on her friend’s finger. “So… how was the rest of your night? After the coffee?”

“Amazing,” Pam breathed. “Jim had this entire romantic night planned. Well, not the whole night. He just cooked me dinner. It was so sweet.”

Bella let out a squeal. “That’s adorable!”

“It was,” Pam agreed. “I just… well, I thought he would propose.”

Bella’s smile faded, and was replaced with a look of sympathy. “Pam, you know he’ll propose soon. He loves the crap out of you.”

Pam shrugged, giggling. “Hope so.”

Bella waved slightly and turned around, approaching Jim’s desk. “Master,” she hissed. “Meet me in the kitchen.” She turned to Edward and discreetly motioned for him to come as well. She glanced at Pam to make sure she didn’t notice all of them leaving. When Bella was positive that Pam was unaware, she began to walk faster.

Once the three of them were in the kitchen, Bella turned to Jim, furious. “Do you have any idea how pissed off your girlfriend is?”

Jim’s eyes widened, and a look of worry suffused across his face. “What’s wrong? Is she alright?”

“She’s most certainly not alright!” Bella hissed. “Especially after what you did for her last night!”

Jim rolled his eyes. “I cooked her a romantic dinner. She must be dying.” He quickly added, “And I know she doesn’t have food poisoning, because I ate the steak, too.”

“You’re so dense,” Bella snapped. “You can’t be so romantic and then not propose! You’re totally leading her on!”

Jim’s eyes widened again. “She thought I was going to propose?”

“Jim,” Edward interjected. “Bella told me about her conversation with Pam at the coffee shop last night. Pam couldn’t stop talking about you, and-”

“How she wants to spend forever with you,” Bella finished, more gently this time. “And I think she’s starting to doubt that you want to spend forever with her.”

“I do,” Jim said immediately. “I’ve had the ring, and I want the proposal to be great, and she’s just so perfect, and-”

Jim was so caught up in what he was saying that he didn’t realize that Bella and Edward were laughing. Jim frowned. “Hey! What’s so funny?”

“Jim, we know you love her,” Bella said. “How about I take Pam out for coffee again tonight, and you can go to a bar with Edward and… plot and plan?”

Jim laughed. “I think that’d be great.”

--

Most people in the office left, so Jim and Edward headed to Edward’s Volvo. They had to take it because Pam had the car. When they got to the bar they were able to find two seats pretty easily; it wasn’t that crowded.

When they sat down, both Jim and Edward ordered a drink. Edward just got the same thing that Jim did, due to his lack of knowledge of alcoholic beverages.

Then Jim said, “So how long have you and Bella been married?”

“Five years.” They had actually been married for ten. Bella got changed ten years ago, but it wouldn’t make much sense if they got married at 13.

“Wow, right out of high school, huh?”

Edward nodded his head. “We had been dating for about two years. We had an August wedding.”

“Oh that must have been nice.”

“Yeah, it was great.”

“So how did you pop the question?”

Edward stared blankly. “I didn’t pop a question.”

Jim laughed. “I meant how did you propose?”

Edward stiffened for a moment. He remembered the first time he asked Bella to marry him; she said no.

“Well, at first I didn’t really do anything special. We were just hanging around, and I said that we should get married.”

“What do you mean, at first?”

Edward looked down, “She said no the first time.”

Jim looked a little shocked. (He hoped that it was unnoticeable, despite his jaw dropping to the floor.) Bella and Edward looked so in love. What if Pam said no? Jim didn’t think that he could handle that.

Edward continued, “Bella didn’t want to get married so young. She was concerned about what everyone else would think.”

“So how’d you get her to say yes?”

“Nothing special, just compromises,” Edward explained. “A lot of compromises. We were home alone one night, and we talked a lot, and after we talked about the compromises, she agreed to marry me.”

“And you already had the ring?”

Edward nodded. “Yeah, it was my mother’s. I was adopted, my mother died when I was young.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a while ago. Don’t worry about it.” Edward paused for a minute. “What about you? You have a ring right?”

Jim took the velvet box out of his pocket and put it on the bar. Edward took it and opened it. The ring was small and simple, yet beautiful and elegant.

Jim took a melancholy sip of beer. “I got it a week after we started dating.”

“Wow, just a week.”

“I’ve been in love with her for years. We’ve only been dating for a few months, though… she was engaged before we got together.” Jim paused, looking at Edward. “It’s a long, complicated story.”

“Don’t worry, I understand.” Jim nodded, not realizing that Edward understood more than he should have.

“I knew that she was the one from the minute I laid eyes on her,” Jim continued. “But with her being engaged, it made it impossible to be with her. When we started dating, I wanted to put that ring on her finger as soon as possible. I just didn’t think the first date was too appropriate to ask her.” Jim paused. “Or the second or third or fourth, or even fifth, for that matter. I’ve just been waiting for a long time, and I want to do it soon.”

“What made you decide to ask her now?”

Jim laughed a bit. “She said she wouldn’t move in with anyone unless she was engaged to them.”

“So why don’t you just take her out to a nice dinner one night and, er, pop your question then?”

“That’s not good enough,” Jim said, chuckling slightly at what he was about to say. “I promised that the proposal would kick her ass.”

Edward laughed. “So what are you planning to do?”

Jim bowed his head. “I have no idea. But I can’t stand that ring not being on her finger any longer. It’s killing me.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Not really. Maybe a little, but I’m just scared that it won’t impress her, you know? I mean, I have no clue what to do.”

“I don’t think she’ll care if it’s amazing or not.”

“But I want it to be. I want her to be…” Jim paused, looking for the right word. “I want her to be dazzled by it.”

Edward couldn’t help but laugh. Bella had always told him that he dazzled her.

Then Edward said, “You really love her don’t you?”

“I would give my life for her. I don’t want to live without her, I already spent so many years knowing her, but not being able to be with her, and it was hell.”

“Well then we’re really going to have to think of something to dazzle her, now aren’t we?”

Jim looked at Edward, “You’re going to help me?”

“Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”

Jim smiled. “Thanks.”

After a few minutes they decided to call it a night. Jim headed home to Pam, and Edward to Bella. All four of them were thinking about Jim’s future proposal.

CHAPTER EIGHT

When Jim sat down at his desk the next morning, he found a notebook titled “Proposal Ideas.” He sighed. Could the Cullens be any more obvious?

He looked around to make sure Pam couldn’t see him, and opened up the notebook, the pages were all ripped and torn, Edward and Bella probably had something to do with this.

1. Take her skydiving and write the proposal on the ground in huge letters. (Edward)

2. Edward is an idiot. Ignore that. try doing something quiet and romantic… just the two of you. (Bella)

3. Like what, Bella? Ask over dinner?(Edward)

4. YES! That’s so sweet. Take her to her favorite restaurant, or maybe the place where you two first ate together.(Bella)

5. BO-RING. Bella, the proposal needs to kick Pam’s ass. Think of something exciting, like skydiving.(Edward)

6. Oh, ok. Exciting and ass-kicking is fine, but skydiving is not. How about a proposal involving her art? Or some art?(Bella)

7. Hmm. Clever, Bella. Yes, something involving Pam’s art. That’s a good idea, but let’s think of other ones as well. Spell it out in rose petals, perhaps?(Edward)

8. Edward, how come you’re romantic here and not with my proposal? Ugh. Jim, that’s too sappy. How about propose through a puppy? Bring a puppy home and tie the ring to its collar.(Bella)

9. Or you could take her on a vacation, and propose there.(Edward)

10. Nah. That’s stupid. How about you bring her breakfast in bed, put the ring on the tray, and propose then?(Bella)

11. To add on to that, you could propose when she is drowsy. Slip the ring onto her finger when she’s just waking up.(Edward)

12. You are such an idiot! She’ll think she’s dreaming.(Bella)

13. That was a great idea, Bella.(Edward)

14. No it wasn’t! You have no idea what a woman wants for a proposal, especially ME.(Bella)

15. You said yes, didn’t you?(Edward)

16. Well you’re not romantic at all, and Jim obviously is, and your ideas are bringing him down.(Bella)

17. What are you trying to say?(Edward)

18. Fine, I’ll spell it out. You suck at this!(Bella)

19. I’ll just leave you with the notebook, then. I’m sure you’ll do much better that I ever could. (Edward)

20. I will! (Bella)

21. Fine! (Edward)

22. Fine! (Bella)

23. It’s Alice here! Why don’t you just keep it simple? (Alice)

24. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! (Bella)

25. No, Alice. He wants to do something more romantic and ass-kicking. (Edward)

26. Oh joy, Edward is back. I’m so happy. I just can’t contain my- (Bella)

27. Give me that! Jim, you could write a poem for her! (Alice)

28. That’s a nice idea! (Bella)

29. Or you could cook dinner for her. (Edward)

30. He already did that Edward. (Bella)

31. Oh, right… Here’s an idea. Arrange to meet her in a beautiful park near some riding stables. Rent a knight's armor from a costume shop or theatrical company and pick it up on the way. Rent a horse at the stables, don the armor, ride up to meet her and offer to be her prince. Present the loose diamond with princely flair on bended knee. You could have someone in the bushes nearby ready to play Holst's "Jupiter" as she starts to see you in the distance. (Edward)

30. Did you Google that? (Bella)

31. Maybe… (Edward)

32. He did Google it! (Alice)

33. Edward! We are trying to be creative here. Don’t just Google it. (Bella)

34. I thought it was a good idea! (Edward)

35. You didn’t even bother to re-phrase it. (Bella)

36. Did it really need a re-phrasal? The idea is still the same. (Edward)

37. You two need to stop fighting! We are trying to help Jim out here, fighting won’t solve anything. (Alice)

38. I suppose you’re right. (Edward)

39. Let’s just get back to thinking. (Bella)

40. Bella? Thinking? That’s a good one. (Edward)

41. That was unnecessary. (Bella)

42. You guys are worse than Rosalie and Emmett! Please, let’s get back to Jim. (Edward)

43. Fine, fine. Edward? Have any more fabulous ideas? (Bella)

44. Why don’t you Google ideas, Jim? They have some pretty impressive ones… (Edward)

45. EDWARD! The man wants to be original, for crying out loud! Jim, why don’t you take her to the beach, and put the proposal in a message in a bottle? (Alice)

46. Or train a parrot to say ‘Will you marry me?’. (Bella)

47. Or give her roses. Now, I’m not done yet. You could hang the ring on one of the stems… after you took off all the thorns, of course. (Alice)

48. Maybe you could put the proposal in a fortune cookie? On a tiny slip of paper? (Bella)

49. Those are rather romantic. (Edward)

50. Oh please. You wouldn’t know a romantic proposal if it bit you on the- (Bella)

51. BELLA! EDWARD! STOP! Oh dear… Jim, they stormed off. We’ll be back later! (Alice)

That was where the list stopped. Jim smiled halfheartedly. They came up with some good ideas, but he knew none of them would really kick Pam’s ass.

Jim started to think about Pam; really think about her. About when they first met, where he started to fall in love with her. Painfully, Jim started to let the memory of when he told her he loved her, when she rejected him. Then he thought about that night in the office – when they kissed. That was one of the best kisses of his life, and…

Jim cut himself off, mid-thought. He knew exactly how he was going to propose.