Disclaimer: I do not own anything from this story, except an unrational fear of heights. Jim, Pam and Casino Night all belong to NBC.



Jim had been to only three swimming lessons when Pete had dared him to jump off one of the diving boards at the local pool. Scared of heights (something he would later find ironic) Jim had refused at first. But 10 minutes of Pete’s talking and Tom's teasing and Jim found himself standing at the foot of the ladder to the shortest diving board.
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Roy asked him to keep an eye on Pam and Jim had agreed without thinking, because that’s all he’d been doing for the last 5 years anyway. As Roy’s truck pulled away, Pam sauntered over to stand in front of him and Jim was struck by how different she looked. The usual hairclip, button up shirts and straight skirts, had changed places with a upswept hairdo, a few loose curls framing her face and a dress that shimmered a soft blue in the dusky glow of the street lamps.

But the most unusual thing was her face. The quiet mask she wore to stop advances from Kevin and Michael had disappeared. Instead her shoulders were back, she looked relaxed and the impish grin crossing her face, warned him that she was about to bring up his recent loss to her.

The conversation with Jan was still ringing in his ears as Pam teased him about losing all his money and Jim wondered if he should tell Pam about the transfer now. It might, no, it would, ruin the rest of the evening, but it was only fair to tell her in person, in private and give her as much time as possible to adjust to the idea.

Disclaimer: I still do not own anything relating to The Office. This is for entertainment purposes only.


As he slowly made his way up the ladder Jim cast a look at the tallest board at the pool. Biting his lip, he thought about going all the way and shocking his brothers. But just the glance up, had made Jim's stomach feel sick and he decided to just make his token leap off the small board.
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Standing in a dimly lit parking lot, Jim knew there was probably a worse place to be, but at the moment he couldn't think of any. Pam was doing their usual back and forth, all smiles and cheerfulness and even as he went along with the banter, the only thought running through his mind, was telling Pam about the transfer and her reaction.

For a second he toyed with the idea of throwing caution to wind and telling her the reason behind the move as well. That he’d liked her since his first moment at Dunder Mifflin, when she‘d looked up from reception, and given him a smile that lit up the room. How he'd been hopelessly in love with her since the moment she warned him about Dwight, with a gleeful look and childish giggle that he knew he'd never forget.

But as that same trusting grin looked up at him, a hundred images started flashing in front of Jim’s eyes. Every smile Pam had ever given Roy (he’d kept count), every time Roy put an arm around Pam (there weren't many, but it was still frustrating), the hundreds of times Pam had told him how tired she was of Roy's actions, then talked herself into going back,(Pam never knew how close he came, to quitting on those days).

In a heartbeat he saw the images and in another heartbeat they were gone, but their memory was enough. Deciding to take the safe route once again, Jim lifted his head, ready to her about the transfer. Ready to follow the pattern of their friendship, telling everything, while saying nothing.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the Office, although I am very excited over the new season starting in 4 days!


Walking toward the edge, Jim heard a voice yell “cannonball” and his head jerked up. A boy about Jim’s age, leaped off the high board. For a second the boy was hurtling through the air, a look of excitement and freedom on his face. Jim watched him until the boy splashed into the deep blue water below. Glancing down, Jim stared at the water only a few feet below him, then at the boy who was now getting a high five from his friends. In a moment his mind was made up, going back to the ladder, Jim climbed higher, until the ladder ended and he stepped out on the highest diving board. With a deep breath, Jim took every bit of courage he had, charged down the board, and jumped off the edge.
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But Jim took a look at women standing in front of him, hands clasped,slightly swaying, like her happiness made it impossible for her to stay still. And it was in that instant that the memories changed.

It wasn’t the dozen times he’d seen her smile at Roy, it was the thousands of times that Pam had smiled at him. It wasn’t the nights that he watched her drive home in another mans truck, or walk around every day with someone else’s ring on her finger. It was about the swaying that didn’t count, paperclip medals, fighting at a dojo and making up with French Onion chips. It was her gleeful look when Dwight discovered a prank, the way he felt when she walked into the office every morning.

It was the moments when the truth was said in silence, but neither one acknowledged it. And standing in front of the office where it all started, Jim knew that this couldn’t be another one of those moments. For once in their friendship, he needed to be honest. Gathering his courage, from every smile, and every shared laughed, Jim looked right at Pam and spoke the five words he’d wanted to say for just as many years.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything related to NBC or The Office.

Falling through the air was just as scary as Jim knew it would be, the seconds before his head plunged under, stretched into hours and his stomach felt like it’d been left on the diving board. Hitting the water hurt just as much as he had imagined it would. His ungraceful belly flop position, hadn't made the pain any better either. As he plummeted through the water, toward the bottom of the pool, the thought flashed through his mind once more "This was a bad idea...”

In the moments after his announcement, Jim felt a sudden bit of relief that almost put a smile on his face. Since the day he’d fallen for her, all those years ago, the nervous tension of their friendship’s future, had been more of a strain then he’d ever dare admit to anyone, especially himself. No matter what her reaction was going to be, at least there would be some sort of ending to the emotional seesaw he’d been on the past five years. Pam's stunned look gave him no reassurance as to his answer, but Jim found he was able to look her in the eye, as he attempted an apology for the timing of his sudden declaration.

“I can’t” Pam said, in an almost questioning, regretful tone and the one spark of hope he‘d had over the years was washed out for good, by a wave of unavoidable realism. The part of his brain that was still functioning alerted him to the fact that she was talking to him, trying to offer her friendship. The look on her face was desperate, as if trying to stop a sinking ship. Part of him wished he could take the confession back, the thought that he was hurting her was unbelievable. The knowledge that his refusal of friendship and persistence for something more, would hurt her again, almost destroyed his new determination to be honest.

Silently he stared out above her head at a streetlamp, unable to look at her face, and see the pain he had caused in her eyes. Again she denied her feelings, with the same two words that had turned his world upside down. But now they were less of a denial and more of a grasping, for a fact that was certain, in the middle of her confusion.

Feeling the beginning of tears choking his throat, Jim pressed his lips together, trying hold some semblance of control. As a tear escaped and started down his face, he realized that she was still apologizing and trying to take the blame. The look of sadness and confusion on her face, was one he didn’t think he could ever forget. Then habits built over the past 5 years kicked in and Jim wiped away the tear and tried to
nonchalantly say something apologetic, as he stepped around her frozen form. Unable to take his eyes off the ground, he strode across the deserted parking lot.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or the show. This is just for fun.

Kicking and swinging his arms, Jim fought to get back to air. With one last stroke, he thrust his head above water for a second, gasping for breath, blowing the chlorine water from his nose. The pool wall seemed miles away, but after the jump he‘d just been through, it no longer looked so intimidating.

Just before hitting the water, Jim had glanced up to the pool side. Tom and Pete were standing across from the deep end, mouths hanging open in shock, that he had actually jumped. Remembering that moment Jim felt a smile cross his face, as he struggled to dog paddle to the ladder. Already he could see his Mom running toward him, looking scared to death. Even from this distance Jim could hear her fussing at his brothers who were close behind. Jim knew he would get a lecture, probably lose some privileges, and his muscles were likely going to still be sore tomorrow. But the moment of shocking his brothers, the looks on their faces, made it all worth it.



Irony. That’s what this was in a word. The place that he’d wished to escape his coworkers a hundred times over, is now the one place he can go for solitude. The spot where he’d spent hours, hiding his feelings for a curly haired receptionist, was now the place he planned to suffer through the first moments of her rejection.

Sighing, Jim turned in the door at the office and froze. Desk lamps and computer monitors were on and he could see the faint silhouette of someone leaning against his desk. A quiet voice spoke and Jim couldn’t breathe for a second. What was Pam doing here, at his desk? After the parking lot, he’d assumed that she had gone home. But no, for some reason Pam was here, a few feet away, softly talking in his phone. Trying to pull his thoughts together, Jim stood frozen, eyes closed, as Pam talked, listening as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. In the same way that he knew her left hand was fiddling with the phone cord, he knew this was the voice Pam used when she was uncertain and trying to convince herself of something. Trying to convince herself that she should marry Roy or that she should leave Roy, he couldn’t be sure.

Jim stayed hidden until Pam’s hushed voice mentioned how great he was, then suddenly he was off the wall and walking around the corner before he could think. A voice from Jim’s brain was screaming at him to get away, but his heart was in charge now, propelling his feet forward. Surprise flashed across Pam’s face for just a moment when he stepped into her eye line. Quickly she ended the call and put his receiver down. Turning to face him, Pam took a deep breathe and Jim could see from the set of her shoulders, that she was about to be polite, best friend, Pam again, but he was done with that charade.

Jim stepped in front of her and then Pam was suddenly in his arms, his hands resting on the small of her back. Before either of them had a chance to react, Jim leaned over and softly pressed his lips to hers. For a second he was scared to death, as the reality of what he’d just done hit him. Then Jim became aware that Pam wasn’t pulling away, in fact her hands were now softly resting on his shoulders. A heartbeat later, Pam tilted her head slightly to deepen the kiss and her hands were cupping the back of his head, fingers sliding through his hair. Jim had the shock of his life, as he realized that Pam Beesley was kissing him.

A few short seconds later, Jim felt her mouth start to break apart from his. He leaned in for one more kiss, knowing if she rejected him again, this moment was going to make the pain of the next few months even worse. But as her tiny hands slowly slid down his chest to rest in his lanky ones, Jim decided that some memories were worth the pain.