*

*

Talking Head



“Okay, Cece was not planned, per se. But she was not a mistake,” Pam says.



“Nope, not a mistake.” Jim shakes his head from side to side, but stops and looks at Pam. “Per se?”



“Well, we had the idea of her planned, right?” She looks at him for confirmation.



“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Jim agrees. “We always knew we would have kids. Doesn’t everybody?”



Pam nods in agreement. “Plus, I couldn’t see myself without her now.”



“I don’t think I’d pushed for management last year if it wasn’t for her impending arrival.”



“True,” Pam nods. “And she’s such a joy. I always thought kids hated me, but not her.”



“That’s because you got those.” He motions to her breasts.



Pam looks flabbergasted. “That’s not why!”



“It did it for me.” Jim looks at the camera and offers the interviewer a lopsided grin. “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree,” he adds, all smug.



Pam turns to look at him and they stare at each other for a moment too long.



Jim clears his throat. “Cece loves Pam because she is an AWESOME mom. Who finger-paints with a seven month old? Who keeps cheerios in a Ziploc bag inside their purse at all times—just in case?”



Jim looks at her, raising an eyebrow.



Pam blushes and turns to the camera, “Definitely not a mistake. Just a wonderful—”



“Unexpected,” Jim adds.



“Surprise,” she finishes.

*


*


Talking head





“I thought you said he didn’t call you.”




“He didn’t.”




“It’s not what he told me.” He looks at the camera, and then back at Pam, “He said you didn’t call him.”




“What? I don’t…. Why are we even talking about this?”




“Pam, this is—”




Pam interrupts, “I didn’t call him back, okay? The guy is supposed to call back. He didn’t and things fizzled.”




“Just like that?”




“Yup, just like that.” She looks at the interviewer, but turns back to Jim, face crunched in confusion. “Why does it matter anyways?”




“It doesn’t,” he says curtly with shifty eyes.




“Okay,” Pam sighs, looking straight into the camera. “I don’t know why he didn’t call. I didn’t call back because there was this other salesman whom I had my eye on.”




Jim looks surprised by her admission and unsuccessfully tries to hide the smile tugging the corner of his lips.




“And I thought he might still like me. So, I didn’t call back, okay?”




Jim turns to look at her. “What if Danny had called?”




“We would have probably gone on another date.” She shrugs and Jim lets his chin fall to his chest. “The other salesman wasn’t exactly available at the time, you know?”




Jim surrenders. “Okay, okay… I get it.”




They look at each other and Pam says, “Danny might have been too late anyways. The salesman finally asked me out and a year and a half later, he proposed. A year after that, we got married and five months later, I gave birth to his 7 pound 2 ounce baby, whom we have to pick up from daycare,” she says, looking at her watch.




Jim looks at the camera, face flushed. “You made your point.” They smile at each other and Jim says,
“Was it fun?”




“What? The dates?”




Jim nods.




“It was a fun distraction.”




“Yeah...” He snakes his arms around her.




He knows the feeling better than anyone.




“Oh, by the way,” Jim adds, “The baby is 21 pounds and 5 ounces now.”

*


*


Jim talking head





“I’m Popeye the Sailor-man,” he declares, gesturing up and down his torso with the corncob pipe accentuating his lopsided grin.




“It had to be done.” he says and removes the pipe. “I told Pam I would go pick up Cece, since the party was running late, and meet her back here.” He adjusts the sailor cap and continues, “So I drove to the daycare and home, got Cece’s costume, got us dressed, and here we are.”




He smiles and looks behind him through the conference room’s glass window. The camera zooms to where his gaze is focused and the image of Olive Oyl Pam smiling and making funny faces at Swee’Pea Cece becomes visible.




The camera zooms out and centers back on Jim. “Thank God she’s a dork, you know?” He says in mock relief. “If she wasn’t, I might not be married to her right now.” He twists his wedding band around his ring finger, smiling uneasily at the camera. “Swee’Pea wouldn’t even exist.”




He rolls his eyes, but the reality of this acknowledgment pulls a few of his heartstrings. But he is quick to recompose.




“I'm strong to the finish when I eats me spinach,” he sings, “I Popeye the sailor man! Toot toot”




He shrugs and says, “I guess I’m a bit of a dork too.”

*



*



Jim sits with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Pam is seated next to him, looking down at his disconcerted figure.




“He lost Cece,” she affirms.




Jim lifts his head briefly and looks up at the camera. “I did…for a little bit.”




Pam looks at him with tight lips and asks, “What happened?”




He sits upright, shaking his head. “I don’t know.”




“Jim, I tho—”




“Everything happened so fast, okay?” he says, running his hand through his hair, accentuating his already disheveled façade. “She was sleeping in her carrier one minute and then gone the next.”




“And you thought Angela took her?”




“The guy said he saw her with a blond woman.”




“Yeah, my mom.”




He sighs. “I wasn’t thinking. I saw Angela leaving and I thought—”




“That she not only has a cat fetish, but a baby fetish.”




“Have you seen her creepy baby posters?”




Pam chuckles. “Losing Cece broke your brain.”




“You have no idea,” he says, shaking his head. “Longest two minutes of my life.”




Pam smiles. “Don’t beat yourself too hard.” she says, padding him on the back. “Someday we’ll all be laughing about it.”




Jim looks incredulously at her. “I don’t think anyone will be laughing about this.”




“They will definitely be laughing about it,” she says, nodding her head. “Like, remember when Jim thought he lost Cece and accused poor, innocent Angela of kidnapping her?” She looks at him with raised eyebrows.





“I’m not talking about this anymore.”




“C’mon, at least we found where all the scones went.”




He looks at her—face stoic, all serious, no games. “You’re mocking me.”




She smiles innocently and says, “Never.”




Jim shakes his head.




“Honey, I admit, it was scary. But Cece’s okay, you know that, right?”




Jim nods and the camera zooms to the carrier by Jim’s foot, showing Cecelia, in her mom’s Arcade Fire t-shirt, gnawing at a teething toy cat. He reaches down to tickle her little feet and she beams while scrunching her nose like a bunny. A smile breaks across his face.




“I’m hungry,” Pam says.




“Me too,” he agrees. “Papparazzo's?”




“Ummm, yes!”

*


*


Outside in the parking lot.


Pam



“Well…” She begins, “The banner is down.” She smiles with tight lips and says, “There will be no more tampering with the toilet paper and hopefully Dwight will stop watering down the hand soap. Aaaaand,” she adds, “I’ll compromise with the light sensors. But I should at least make him change the timers.”




She smiles and stands I bit straighter, holding herself tight. “I guess today wasn’t a total failure. I got what I wanted.” She shrugs. “Jim was right.”




She looks behind her, where Jim is standing by the car, then down at her hands. “Jim’s an eternal optimist.” She smiles and adds, “At least when it comes to me. He would never let me admit I’ve failed.”




She twists her wedding band around her ring finger and says, “Today, I…” but stops herself. She opens her mouth, closes it, but opens it again before saying, “If it wasn’t for Nate, I might not have changed Dwight’s mind.” Realization sinks in as she admits this. “I just….”




She lets the sentence lingers, but adds with a small rush of air, “There’s just more at stake now.”




She smiles and timidly says, “Gotta keep Cece off the strip pole.”

*



*



“Jim?” Pam asks, “Oh, he’s sick.”




She offers the interviewer a tight-lip smile and explains, “Cecelia has had a terrible cold and a persistent ear infection for a couple of days now. Jim caught it.”




She sighs and adds, “They are both home now. And hopefully Jim’s not sleeping on the job.” She chuckles, but says, “He’s not, though. He was the one fussing over her all weekend long.”




She inhales and exhales, “She’s never had it this bad...And he’s been so worried. I was too, but Jim?” She shakes her head, “He didn’t let her off his sight. Cecelia was draped of his shoulder all weekend long. No wonder he came down with it,” she says and smiles.




“The only reason I came today was because of that stupid resolution board.” She rolls her eyes and says, “I should have known better than to expect the people in this office to take it seriously. Jim was right.”




She adjusts herself on the chair and continues, “Although, he won’t believe what Michael made Kevin do. I can’t believe he missed it! Who hasn’t eaten a broccoli?”




She shakes her head and says, “But I think I might slip out a little early.” She lowers her voice and feigns a cough, “I might be coming down with it too.”

*

*


“Yes, Jim got the best dad dundie. And sure, he can handle diaper changes, bottles, and messy disasters, but you can forget about cute matching outfits, healthy meals, and anything else above the level of sheer survival.”




She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back. “And let’s not forget that he wouldn’t have received that award if it wasn’t for the person whom his child shares half of her DNA with.”




“And Meredith?” Pam scoffs and adds, “Really? I could go on and on, but I don’t want this to overshadow the fact that I actually had a good time.”




“This was our last dundies.” Her face softens.” Sure, I’ve dreaded them in the past, but I actually looked forwards for this one.”




She’s pensive for a moment and then says, “it’s like a family gathering you have to attend. It’s crowed, the food isn’t good, and you have to listen to the same ol’ stories again and again… but when you look back, at least in my case, you feel nostalgic.”




She sighs. “The good ol’ days, huh?”




“And Jim is really a good dad. He’s being a bit proud that Michael made such a fuss over him, but I’m glad he is a dad to Cece. Really, we weren’t married and there wasn’t a shotgun…we know he had a choice…”