Jim shuffled in the office late that morning, still recovering from the heinous cold he caught from Andy. He had probably overdosed himself on Nyquil, in hopes to trek back to work at least a week later. His eyes were bleary, he was stuffy, and he hated Andy with a passion that riveled his Dwight hate.

As he entered the office and settled at his desk, he noted that everyone was buzzing around. Karen walked out of Josh's office and came up to him.

"You look like crap."

Jim gave her a small smile. "Please, enough with the compliments. It's bordering sexual harrassment. Really.  Um...hey what's going on?"

Karen bit her lip. "Oh yeah, while you were recovering from your incurable disease...we got word the Scranton branch was closing, and they are sending 5 people here."

Jim jerked his head up so fast he gave himself a headache. "What?"

"Yeah, we're merging with your old branch. So you might want to take a Sudafed or something and clear yourself up. Look presentable like we actually pay you around here." Karen smirked and walked back to her desk.

He felt himself shaking and it wasn't from him being sick. Oh god, they closed the Scranton branch. What does that mean? Instantly his mind went to Pam.  He knew from Kevin, Phyllis, Kelly, and Ryan that Pam was on her own now.  And though she always joked about hoping being rid of the job, it was her only support.

He didn't even realize he had yanked up his phone and dialed the Scranton number until he heard the phone ring. Someone picked up and he took in a deep breath, waiting to hear the "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam" but instead he heard an operator say the number was disconnected.

Jim whipped around to look at Karen. "When is the merger?"

She peeked from behind her computer screen. "Boy, you don't look so good. It's today, they should be here any minute now."

Jim couldn't swallow, or hell, even breathe. He didn't know what to think, Pam could have lost her job or she could be headed here to Stamford and he somewhat hated both scenerios.

He didn't notice Andy was back either and had walked to his desk.

"You look like hell Big Tuna."

Jim snapped out his thoughts and scowled at Andy. "Yeah, well, thanks for bringing your germs to work."

Andy frowned. "It's not like I gave you mono or anything."

He walked away and Jim ran a hand through his hair, and let out a deep breath. Pam. Pam. That's all he could think about.

He thought about her though the staff meeting with Josh, who turned to him and said, "You look like a pile of shit Halpert."

"That seems to be the consensus today." Jim replied.

Josh just patted him on the back. "Well, we got some of your old buddies coming up here today. In an hour."

"Who?" Jim queried. He needed to know. He just needed to know.

Josh looked at his pad. "Uh, Michael, unfortunately. Dwight...that weird looking guy I met at the conference. Ryan, the new sales rep there. Angela, from accounting...and..."

Jim swallowed hard.

"...Todd Packer." Josh stated.

Jim's heart sank. Oh god, Pam. "Oh."

"You look flushed man. Go splash some water on your face."

Jim nodded and staggered out the meeting. He thought about her as he stood in the men's room, splashing water on his face. That part that didn't think he wanted to see her here was devastated.

He missed her terribly and even though he had told himself he was over it, he was done with her, he wanted her here, no matter how fucking awkward it would be.

Jim slouched at his desk later, banging away at the keyboard, eliciting several annoyed faces from Andy. He didn't give a fuck. He wanted Pam. And now that Michael and Dwight were coming, Jim resigned that he must have pissed off some higher power because now he was in his own personal hell. No Pam, just Michael, Dwight, and Andy.

Josh stepped out his office and Jim followed his with his eyes as he walked over to the elevator. As the doors opened, Jim saw Michael step out, and he banged on his computer again.

Andy threw him a look. "Did your keyboard run over your dog or something?"

Jim just stared at the elevator.

Michael came out the elevator and Josh greeted him, then Ryan, then Dwight...looking insanely nervous, Angela, and gotdamn Todd Packer. But the elevator didn't shut, because a small pink bundled woman stepped out too. Pam.

And in that moment any progress Jim made to be whole again, to get over the stuff in Scranton got flushed down the toilet. The tuna sandwiches for change, the new clothes, the better haircut, the new city, was for nothing. He had already lost control.

Her cheeks were flushed, and she looked nervous as hell. She scanned the room and shook Josh's hand. He realized she couldn't see him behind the computer screen. He ducked lower so she couldn't see him and took in a view of her.

She looked beautiful. And his heart was relieved, full, and in pain. And she was in Stamford. In his office. At his job. And in his life again.

Oh shit....

The very sight of her had caused him to feel as if he was physically being ripped out of his body. He felt his heart beat so fast it almost jumped out of his chest, and for a second, he imagined a beating heart skipping across the floor and throwing itself out the window. Or better yet towards Pam, who would probably recognize it and step on it again. Suddenly he couldn't sit there any longer.

Even though he was partly relieved she was here and he got to see her, he couldn't take a confrontation right now. One phone call by accident didn't dare erase the pain and rejection he felt on Casino night. He swore that she loved him even though her lips said other wise; the small nod of her head as he asked was she really going to marry Roy, was a mask of her true feelings. She had kissed him, ran her fingers in his hair, clung to him. Fuck...fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Jim?"

He turned to see Josh. "Damn you look worse than earlier. You need to go home?"

"I um...I..."

"Because if that shit's contagious, I don't want you going to this mixer I'm setting up and coughing on everyone." Josh replied.

At this, Andy whipped around. "Uh, mixer?"

"Yeah, for the Scrantonites. It's Michael's idea actually, and Jan said he's only approved for one party this year, and he wasted it on this mixer shit. Geez Halpert...did you just get a shade paler?"

Jim gulped audibly. He couldn't see her face to face. Not yet. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to face what was his past, now was in his present and what he so desperately wanted to be his future. He cleared his throat and tried to sound sicker than he was."You know, I don't want to give this to anyone. Maybe I should go home."

Andy frowned. "Hey Josh, whatever it is he has, I gave it to him. I should go home too."

Jim attempted to say some sort of witty retort, but his mind was too clouded right now for it. He watched as Josh perched himself on the edge of his desk.

"Uh, no."Andy turned around defeated and Josh continued talking to Jim. "Anyway, this sucks man, because I definitely wanted you to be our common ground. You worked with these guys, you could be a bridge because honestly...I don't know what the hell is going on in Michael's demented mind right now."

"I don't think many people do. Where-where are they?"

"Well I've contained Michael to the conference room. Don't know how long that's going to last, he's getting antsy. The others are okay, well that Dwight kid is freaking me out a little, and that Packer fella, I swear he's high or drunk or something. Jan's stuck in traffic, but once she gets here, hopefully she can explain to him what this merger means."

Jim nodded and barely choked out. "Um...I thought you said that only 5 were transferring in?"

Josh ran an open palm over his face and let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah, but Pam is temporary. Jan wants her here until-wait-is that Michael by the elevator?"

They turned to see Michael standing by a clerical assistant, chattering. She looked deathly afraid and Josh slid off the desk and muttered "Gotdammit Michael" before walking away.

Jim swallowed and his dry throat burned. He watched Josh try to steer Michael back towards the conference room and Jim made an effort to duck down so Michael wouldn't see him.

Karen must have noticed because she walked up to his desk and folded her arms. "Why are you hiding?"

"What are you talking about?" Jim snorted. "I lost a contact."

"No. You're hiding. What? Having the Scrantonites here should be like a reunion for you."

"Is it?" Jim asked, more to himself. Karen raised an eyebrow.

"What happened in Scranton?"

"Nothing ever happens in Scranton. Thus why I moved here." Jim replied simply, trying to deflect with humor.

Karen wasn't buying it. "Uh huh. So you're ducking behind your desk for no reason. And you have yet to make yourself known to your old office mates. Fishy."

Jim gave a small cough. "Fine, okay. I slept with Dwight and I don't know how I feel about that."

Andy turned suddenly. "I knew it! I knew you were gay!"

Jim frowned and clicked his mouse as Karen rolled her eyes. "Alright Halpert. Keep your secret. But you're going to have to spill it one day. Because you can't hide behind your screen and Andy forever."

Jim shook his head and clicked his mouse. He had to get out of here but Karen was right. He couldn't hide forever. But for the moment, he could leave and deal with this tomorrow. He grabbed his bag and gave another fake cough. "Uh tell Josh I'm heading out. I feel lightheaded and congested."

Andy swiveled around. "Right. You're so full of it. You don't want to face your gay lover at the mixer."

Jim ignored him and tried to move past Karen. She backed up with a confused look on her face. "So, you're not going to mingle with your old buddies?"

Jim shook his head. "I'm too sick to mingle. See you guys tomorrow."

In several quick strides, he made it to the elevator and poked the button several times. He never understood why people did that until now, in hopes that pressing it in sucession would make the elevator speed up. He was anxious to get on and get out of here. Jim refused to look down the hall towards the conference room, because if he saw her again, it might weaken his resolve to escape. The doors opened and Jim stepped in quickly, hitting the lobby button. He leaned back against the cold wall, and closed his eyes, hearing the doors about to shut.

Before they could, a woman attempted to get on, but was too late.

Not that late because before the doors closed and he descended down, he opened his eyes to see Pam staring back wide eyed at him and he faintly heard her gasp out, "Jim?"

And just like before, he left her behind.

He was such a little bitch sometimes. Once, when he was little, he peed his pants when his brother Jonathan locked him in a dark closet. He never forgot how scared he was as he banged on the door and pissed himself. He'd have to punch Jonathan when he sees him for Thanksgiving. Fucker.

But that's how he felt yesterday when he heard her voice as the elevator doors closed. And while no urine was involved, Jim was unable to move as her eyes burned into his and then the doors closed. He was in such a daze that when he hit the lobby floor, the guy getting on the elevator cleared his throat to get Jim's attention so he could get off.

Before he knew it, he clutched his bag and jetted to the parking deck towards his Corolla. Of course the stupid keys were mocking him by all looking alike, and his hands were shaking. So he stepped away from the car and stood straight, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

Get it together, Halpert.

He saw her. Oh god, she saw him. And he ran.

How the fuck did this happen?

Easy Jim. You've been running from her for a while. Booking vacations half way across the world, moving to Stamford, and now...add literally jumping in an elevator to escape her.

Jim looked down at his keys and unlocked the door, stepping inside his modest car, and gripping the steering wheel tightly. How could she affect him so much in mere seconds? Because she was Pam and he loved her more than anything in this world. No matter how many times he told himself he hadn't. She was here, she was right in front of him and he let the door shut in her face. Fucking coward.

Jim ran his open palms all over his flustered face and groaned bitterly. Why did it have to be this way, like he never had a relationship before, like he never broken someone's heart or has his broken before? Because he had. He'd loved and been loved back, he'd been rejected and rejected others as well. But this haunted him every day like nothing else he'd ever dealt with. Not just Pam's rejection of him, but the stupid feelings he had that refused to die.

He tried everything to get rid of them, dating other women, flirting, drinking, porn...nothing worked. And he knew why...because none of that compared to her. Her lips smashing against his, her hands in his hair, the way she smelled and how soft she felt against him.

"Jesus!" he shouted and slammed his open hand against his steering wheel in frustration.

A knock on his window made him jump.

"Jim?"

He turned slowly to see Jan peering in his car window, her brow furrowed. Slowly, he turned the key to activate battery power and let down the window.

"Oh hey Jan."

"Are you alright? Josh told me you were leaving," she gave him a once over look and Jim paled. Did she see him freaking out just now?

"Uh, um...yeah I'm fine. Well I'm a bit sick, and I didn't want to give it to anyone in the office, so Josh let me, uh, go home," he blurted out.

Jan nodded slowly. "Okay, well...uh yes, go home and feel better and hopefully we'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, uh...yes. Thanks."

Jan smiled and walked away and Jim let out that deep breath he had sucked in.  He drove home and took the the longest hottest shower he could to relax his muscles, but it didn't help at all. And after an hour of staring at his phone to see if she would call...he downed more Nyquil and begged for sleep to take him.

So when the morning came, he stood groggily in front of a mirror, staring at his best white button down shirt and his favorite blue tie in his hand, cursing himself. He could call in sick today, but he had used up all his sick days. He still had personal days though...but it would be a bitch if he needed them later for real reasons. He wasn't ready to face her today either, and maybe if he passed out in the lobby, he could escape it today too.

But instead he got in the Corolla and drove slowly to work, went up the elevator, and stepped into his office.

Andy glanced up. "Oh, how was your day off? Slacker."

Jim smirked. "I feel much better this morning Andy. Thank you for your concern." Jim  sat down at his desk. Andy rolled his eyes and already he felt a bit better. Karen peeked from around her computer.

"Yesterday was scary. I've been assigned to have Dwight shadow me. Dwight's the guy you told me was like..." she nodded towards Andy.

Jim winced. "Oh...sorry. No. He's worse than..." Jim nodded towards Andy's back. "Same insanity, different methods."

Karen frowned. "Shit."

Jim logged in and noticed he didn't see anyone from Scranton on the floor. He was thankful for that because this calm facade was failing him miserably.

Josh came out his office and clapped Jim on the back. "Halpert. Morning. Better?"

Jim bit his lip and nodded. "Uh yeah...and where is, ya know, everybody?"

"Oh, they are on a tour of the building. Safety issues. That Dwight guy seemed very interested in that. I think Bill the security guy wants to mace him. Hey, that Todd Packer guy didn't show up this morning-"

"He's probably passed out drunk somewhere, laid up with a hooker, or a dead body in a morgue." Jim said simply.

Josh stood there and blinked several times. "Well damn...anyway, so you got Ryan as a shadow."

Jim felt more pressure rise off of him. "Cool."

Josh walked away and Jim went to focus back on his computer when the elevator doors opened and the Scranton crew began stepping out.

Before he could duck and hide, Michael spotted him. "Jimbo! Look everyone it's Jimbo!"

Dwight looked red in the face, Ryan gave a wave, Angela smirked, and Michael briskly walked over to his desk. But the only one he focused on was the curly haired woman standing near the elevator, hesitating to move with the group.

Her cheeks grew rosy and he could tell she didn't know what to do. She clutched her binder against her chest and shuffled her feet.

Jim only broke eye contact as Michael clapped him hard on the back.

"Jimmy! Heard you were sick yesterday. You missed one huge part-tay!"

Jim darted his eyes from Pam to Michael and then back to Pam before finally focusing on Michael. "Uh yeah...sorry about that. Hey, it's great to have you guys here."

Michael leaned over and loudly whispered. "I brought Pam along. She's going to be here until she has her internship next in about 8 months. So ya know..."

Jim pretended not to see Michael wink and just bobbed his head slowly. "Uh...sooo...what happened to the rest of the branch?"

Michael sighed heavily. "Well they will be floating for a few months and I think Oscar and Kevin will be transferred here later. I did like a whole complex system to pick who I was allowed to bring up here-"

"He put our names in hat." Angela muttered.

Jim tried not to laugh and his eyes flicked back to Pam, who had slowly made her way to stand the farthest away from his desk but still with the group.

She was refusing to look at him, and he felt like a complete ass for not responding to her yesterday.

Dwight stood next to Jim. "Question. Is Josh a good boss?"

Michael frowned when he heard it. "Josh is not your boss, I am. And to have you know, I am still better than him anyday, branches closing or not."

Jim broke his staring again. "Hello Dwight. I missed you. Did you bring your bobble heads? And yeah Josh is a pretty nice guy."

Dwight frowned. "No, Michael is right, no one is better than him. And you've probably been brainwashed to believe otherwise now."

Jim smiled. "Yes. I have. I'm like a Stepford slave for Dunder Mifflin. And now...it's your turn."

Dwight jumped back and Josh came out to start dispersing them to their guides. Dwight sat with Karen and Ryan took a seat with Jim. Andy got Michael since Josh had to leave for the day. Jim tried not to watch as Josh led Pam away towards reception, and he definitely tried not to hop across the desk and kill his boss as he watched him put his hand on the small of her back.

He bit the inside of his cheek and turned to see Ryan staring at him.

"Hey Ryan. Good to see you."

"Yeah man, wassup?" Ryan asked, tilting his head.

"Nothing, uh, where are you guys staying until you can find a place out here?"

Ryan snorted. "Super 8. But we're supposed to get moving packages. This was such short notice. Dwight pitched a fit about leaving his beet farm, but he would follow Michael to the ends of the earth."

"Too bad he won't find an edge to fall off of." Jim muttered. "Where's Kelly?"

"Oh, um...Kelly's coming in 2 weeks. See they slit us up. But most of the office is coming, some are just floating until they see if Michael can behave himself."

"Oh god that sucks. Job security based on Michael's behavior." Jim winced.

"That's why I posted my resume on Monster." Ryan said simply. He leaned over. "So...is this awkward for you?"

Jim dropped his head. "You have no idea. How-how has she been?"

Ryan sat straight up again and looked at Jim's screen. "She's okay while working now. The first few months were...she cried alot.  But I think it's been a hard year for her."

Jim felt his heart get heavier. "Yeah. Me too. Look, thanks man."

"No problem." Ryan stated. "So, let's sell some paper."

Jim did a good job focusing on training Ryan for a few hours. They kept the conversation light though after he asked about Pam. Suddenly Karen jumped up and stomped over to his desk.

"I want to trade."

Jim and Ryan stared up at her, her eyes red, her arms folded across her chest. She looked furious.

"What-why?" Jim asked.

"Because he's driving me crazy." She hissed, pointing at Dwight who was focusing hard on her screen. "He criticized everything I told him, he told me I was his inferior, he keeps talking about beets for god sakes."

Jim let a laugh slip and Ryan choked his back. "I'm sorry, Karen. But I've dealt with it for years. No way."

"Jim." she pouted.

"No. Ask Andy."

Karen shook her head. "Andy and Michael are getting along. Andy said Michael is his new BFF, whatever the fuck that means."

"Uh Karen," Dwight called over to her. "I've created a spreadsheet to better track your sales. The one you had was an absolute mess. I just deleted it."

"I'm going to kill him." she growled. "Jim. Please."

"I have no objections to that." Jim said cheerfully.

Ryan burst out laughing and Andy and Michael whipped around.

"What's so funny?" Michael asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Ryan was coughing." Jim replied quickly.

Karen huffed back to her desk and Jim shook his head. Ryan just snorted. "Hey you want to take a break?"

Ryan nodded and Jim got up and walked to the breakroom with him. Ryan said he was going to the restroom and Jim started pouring himself some much needed caffeine. Today wasn't too bad, he actually liked having Ryan as a distraction from the obvious. He couldn't help but flash back to her standing by the elevator, lingering there while everyone else flocked to his desk. She looked...she looked...like heaven to him but yet she was also the reason he felt like he was in hell. She held the key to his heart and she refused to unlock it.

She wouldn't even stand near him and he thought maybe it wasn't such a big deal that she saw him yesterday. She didn't seem to want to confront him either.

He wondered how you can love someone so much that you were afraid to be near them...because that's what it had become to him. Moth to a flame. He'd get burned if he ever get near her again. So he decided he wouldn't. Unless he had to. There was doubt Josh would let him stay out of staff meeting just so he wouldn't have to breath the same air as her.

Jim stirred his coffee and looked up as Ryan tapped his shoulder. He turned around. 

"Wassu-" he stopped when he turned to see Pam standing there looking up at him, her eyes intense. "P-Pam."

She sucked in a breath and he felt his knees grow weak at the sight of her being so close.

"Hi." she said softly, her eyes never leaving his. 

Jim had to grip the counter to hold himself up. This was it. This was the moment he dreaded. Pam, standing in front of him, her eyes searching, no where for him to escape. The floor wasn't going to swallow him up like he hoped and he was stuck facing the woman who could break him in so many ways. He saw Casino night flash before his eyes. He saw them on the deck of the Booze Cruise. All those little moments that meant anything to him were assaulting his brain right now.  His mouth felt dry and he swallowed hard. He took her all in and said in almost a whisper. "Hey."

"Hi."

"Hey."

They stood there silently staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Jim didn't know if time had stopped and was merely torturing him because he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers.

She shifted her feet and it looked as if she wanted to say something to him, something important, because she was taking shallow breaths. Her eyes finally tore away and darted to the floor.

"Hi."

Jim felt like he was going to swallow his own tongue. "Um...you said that already."

She nodded slowly, still not looking at him. Her watched her start to tangle her fingers together , a nervous habit she had.

"I-uh-I...so..."

"Yeah." Jim sighed out softly.

"How are you?"

Jim dropped his eyes. How are you? It seemed simple enough, yet it burned as it entered his ears. It was so casual. How are you? How's it hanging? Yo. What would have been better to hear would be "Hey, I'm in love with you too" but he guessed that was just too much to ask. So he'd keep it casual, if that's what kept him sane. He was fighting so hard not to reach out and touch her, to yank her towards him because his body was begging him to. "Just-just getting over a cold, ya know."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I was so sick yesterday I left early," he sputtered out, finally regaining courage to look at her again. And he knew he would never want anyone more than he wanted her. And that pissed him off.

"I saw you. On the elevator. I tried-well...I'm glad you're feeling better." She said quickly, looking up sheepishly at him.

"Yeah, thanks." His voice grew cold because this conversation was not going the way he felt it should. His ideal included declarations of love, but they were too busy stammering over simple shit to do that.

"Don't do that." he heard her say suddenly and he jerked his head up and clenched his jaw.

"Do what?"

She shook her head and untangled her fingers. "Act like this. Like it doesn't hurt. Because I know...trust me. I know it does."

"Do you?" Jim snapped out harsher than he wanted to.

Pam turned her head away slightly. Her bottom lip quivered a bit. He noticed it, just like he noticed everything about her.  "Yes. I do. I know how it feels to try to build that wall, Jim and that's what you're doing."

Jim stepped back, unable to go through this with her.  She had no right to tell him not to protect himself, when she lived in denial for 4 years. "Don't tell me how to handle this, Pam."

She had tears forming in her eyes and she wouldn't look at him. She stared back at her feet. "I feel like I'm invading your space. Like I'm hurting you by being here. But it doesn't have to be-"

Jim shook his head. "You can't even look at me, can you?" It came out more as a choked whisper.

She hiccupped and he saw a tear drop to her feet. "Jim-"

"I was fine before you got here. I was-I wasn't perfect, but I was okay. I was starting to get back a little a bit of what I lost back in Scranton. And I lost alot back there."

She nodded but still didn't look up and her shoulders shook as she silently cried. "I-I know. So did I."

"And that's what hurt me most. You were hurting and you knew I would have sucked up my own pain to be there for you. How could you not-"

"I don't know. I was...I was wrong Jim." She sobbed.

Jim bit his lip. "Stop. Please. Don't cry."

"No...no. We needed to do this. If I was going to be here, with you...I needed to let you say what you needed to say because I don't want all this tension hanging in the air." Pam sniffed.

"it's not tension, Pam." Jim said softly and he turned away from her then, unable to watch her cry because of what he was saying. "It's more than tension. It's pain."

She rocked back and forth and choked in her cry. "This was a bad idea. A bad idea."

He figured she was talking mostly to herself. Because suddenly he felt like he did need this. She was right. And watching her cry like that, her small frame shaking, he couldn't take it much longer. No matter how hurt or angry he was...he loved her, and he could never be responsible for her tears.

He reached out to grab her so he could hold her, when Ryan and Josh came out the bathroom. Jim recoiled his hand quickly and Pam spun around towards the counter to mask her crying, before shuffling off quickly to the ladies room. Neither Ryan nor Josh even noticed.

Jim stood there frozen, unable to move anymore. Ryan and Josh said something to him, but it didn't register. He couldn't even breathe. And this is what he feared the most, he was felt the same way he did on Casino night, standing outside watching her smile and giggle. Her hair curled down her back and her periwinkle dress mesmerizing. Except now they were in Stamford, there was no Roy, there was nothing but pain they caused each other hanging between them. So he decided he wanted her to know...he needed her to know....more than once.

"So are you going?"

Jim snapped up to see Andy peering over his computer screen, and Ryan was staring at him strangely. Suddenly he realized he was back at his desk, and it was 5:30 already. When the fuck did he walk back to his desk? He could only remember standing in the break room, clutching the counter for life as his heart dropped in his stomach. He glanced at Ryan awkwardly and then Andy, obviously confused and not there at all.

"What?"

"Are you going?" Andy stated again, his eyes narrowing.

Jim cleared his throat. "I don't-I don't understand the question."

Ryan looked at him and with pity, interjected, "Remember Jim, Josh came back from corporate early and invited everyone to a bar and grill for drinks. We uh...we asked you in the break room."

Jim nodded slowly, not remembering that at all, all he could see was Pam standing in front of him, her eyes watering, lip quivering. "Oh...uh...yeah. Whatever."

Andy turned back around and Jim put his face in his hands.

Discreetly, Ryan asked. "You alright man?"

Jim kept his hands over his face. "No. No I'm not."

Ryan didn't say anything instead he turned back to focus on the spreadsheet Jim had him doing.  He must have been completely out of it because the last he knew, Pam had just jetted into the bathroom. He wondered if she was back at reception, because there was no way he would let everything just end the way it did. In lashing out at her, he hurt her, and that was something he never wanted to do. He hated Roy for stomping all over Pam's feelings for years, and here he was, doing it himself.

And though part of him agreed she made the situation worse by staying in that deep denial, Jim realized he was guilty of the same thing these last few months. He had denied to himself he still loved her, that he needed her.

Jim dropped his hands and looked over at Ryan. He had to get himself together, at least while at work. Because right now functioning on auto pilot was not a good idea. He was prone to curl up in a ball and cry if he didn't get his emotions in check.

So he took a deep breath and gave himself the old Halpert try. "Uh hey Andy...where's Michael?"

Andy turned around. "He uh...he's in Josh's office. Geez Halpert, did you black out? Didn't you see him start doing impersonations of Hitler...which by the way impressed me in a totally non-prejudice way. Josh apparently didn't like it, and now Jan's here and we all know how that goes. They just won't cut the guy a break."

Jim went to reply when Dwight popped up next to his desk. Jim observed his round red face.

"He doesn't need your support, Andrew." Dwight snapped. Jim gave way to a small smile, seeing Dwight completely jealous of Andy's budding friendship with Michael.

Andy gave a smirk. "I'm sorry. Who are you again? Dwayne, right?"

"Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager." Dwight hissed.

Andy shook his head. "No, you aren't."

Dwight nodded more violently. "Yes I am. Tell him Jim."

Jim glanced over at Ryan, who rolled his eyes at it all. Now see, Jim was in a hard place. Digs at Dwight or digs at Andy. Wow, such a hard decision.

"Well...assistant to the regional manager...but still..." he said simply, causing Dwight to get redder. Andy smirked and Jim went in for the kill. "Still a step above you, Andy."

Andy slapped his hands on his desk and jumped up. "He is NOT my superior!"

He stomped off and Dwight glanced softly at Jim. "Carry on with your training."

Jim nodded. "Uh...thanks, Dwayne."

Dwight frowned and went back to sit near a pissed off Karen.

That was a good distraction for the end of the day. Jim took that energy to gather his coat and walk with Ryan to the elevator.

He fought hard to not look over to reception, but he wanted to...badly. He lost that fight when he turned his head to see Hannah sitting at her desk, logging off the phones. He didn't see Pam. Jim began to sweat, was she still crying in the bathroom? What kind of monster was he, that he made her hide in there all afternoon? Ryan stepped in the open elevator and Jim told him he'd see him at the bar. Briskly he was at Hannah's counter.

"Hey Hannah. Um...are you going with us tonight?"

Hannah shrugged her shoulders. "Probably not. My kid's got a cold. You?"

Jim nodded and scanned Hannah's desk for any sign that Pam was still here, no pink coat, no little sketches...nothing.

"Uh hey, Hannah, what happened to your shadow?"

Hannah looked confused at first and then she bit her lip. "Oh yeah... Pam. I think that's her name. Oh well, she got sick earlier and went home. She was all red and weepy. I think there's a bug going around. Hey, weren't you sick all last week?"

Jim was too busy kicking himself mentally to answer her. He walked backwards away from the counter and stepped onto the empty waiting elevator. He was an asshole of universal proportions. And now Pam was running again, all because as usual, Jim felt the need to share. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He walked melancholy to his car, and threw his bag inside with a bit too much force and then got in. He could drive over to the Super 8, and try to talk to her, but maybe he had already said too much.

So instead he drove to the bar and grill where his other co workers were waiting. He got out, slammed his door and walked, hearing laughter and cheer. Fuck them. When was the last time he truly laughed or felt good? He couldn't remember. And he envied anyone else who did. He used to joke all the time, because to him, life was funny. And then he met Pam, and she laughed with him. And now all either of them did these days was cry. He spotted Ryan and Karen sitting at the bar, watching Josh, Michael, Dwight, and Andy play pool. Angela stood on the other side, her eyes intensely on Dwight.

Jim gave a small wave and settled in a seat a bit down from everyone else, just wanting to drown in his own misery tonight. He summoned the bartender and asked for a whiskey sour. While he waited, he pulled a bowl of shelled peanuts towards him, and focused on his pathetic reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He looked skinner than his days in Scranton, and truth be told, he honestly didn't eat very well. A pizza here or there, a tuna sandwich when he couldn't take the growling of his stomach anymore. He used to like to grill in Scranton, but firing up the BBQ here only gave him memories of Pam at his house, in his room. So he poured water on the hot coals and went inside to order pizza...again. Funny how even simple things like that were associated with her.

Karen walked up, sipping on some girly drink. "Why do you look so glum lately?"

Jim picked at a peanut shell, concentrating a little too hard as he cracked it open. "Do I?"

"Yeah, did someone run over your dog?"

Jim cracked a smile. "Fluffy is fine, thank you."

"You don't even have a dog, do you?" Karen chuckled, Jim could see the alcohol was getting to her.

"Nope."

"So...what's going on?"

Jim shook his head and grabbed a few more shells. "Nothing."

"You slept with Pam." Karen said simply and Jim choked. She hid her smirk by sipping on her drink.

"Wh-what?! No!"

Jim was flustered and he hated having her stare at him. "But she's the reason you left Scranton."

Jim didn't look at Karen, knowing his expressive eyes would betray him. "I left Scranton because I wanted something new. And I got it. Okay?"

"She was in the bathroom crying. I saw her."

Jim closed his eyes but didn't turn to Karen. "She must have been sick. That's been going around."

Karen's eyes were burning in his skull and he briefly thought of leaving the bar all together. But she just sipped her drink and walked away saying, "Keep telling yourself that."

Jim muttered to himself and grabbed his whiskey sour before the bartender could even place it on a napkin. "Can I have another? Thanks."

The liquid had burned his throat but he needed that because it made him know he was a live and not in hell somewhere. He stared back to his reflection, and wondered briefly if on the other side of that mirror, Alterna-Jim was happy.

He felt someone walk up and sit slowly in the seat next to him, and his eyes shifted to her reflection in the mirror. She was staring back even more intensely.

Pam.

And for a minute Jim wondered had he lost his mind and conjured up her image, but hearing her clear her throat and order a beer made him drop that theory. Her reflection was staring at him, and he tried to keep his composure by cracking the shell peanuts in front of him.

She bit her bottom lip, never wavering in her glare. The mirror served two purposes, they could look at each other, without honestly looking at each other.

"Jim."

He dropped his eyes and cracked open another shell. Maybe if he was quiet, she'd go away. No. No time to be a little girl about things. Finish this.

"Pam."

She thanked the bartender as he set down her beer and refocused her eyes back on the mirror. He tried to act as if he was concentrating on breaking the shells but he was taking in her features and it made him breathless.

"You have no idea..." she started and all he could do was flash back to Casino Night.

You have no idea what your friendship means to me. It all flashed in his mind again.

Fuck that. He didn't want to hear it.

"Don't. Okay. It's never going to be the same." Jim said softly, fingers trembling.

She sipped her beer and nodded. "I never said I wanted it to be."

His resolve was weakening. He bit into the peanut shell and it felt like everyone else fade out in the background. Now it was just him and her and the mirror.

"What do you want then?" He said, his tone low.

Pam blinked in rapid succession. "I want-I-I..."

Jim saw her stuttering, she was trying to throw out the most ambivalent response she could but it was catching in her throat. So he pushed more. "What.do.you.want?"

The words came out slow and even and his eyes fixed on her face when she sat straight up, gaping at him.

"I-I want...I want to...I..."

Jim shook his head. This wasn't working. She was getting flustered and she just wouldn't say it. Suddenly the background noise assaulted his ears and he knew they weren't really alone. It was always something stopping them from being that way. And it was mostly their own faults..

He sighed and went to get up. Pam got antsy and reached out her hand, grabbing his elbow.

"I want to apologize." She whispered.

He thought about yanking his elbow away, he didn't want her gotdamned apology, he wanted her and if she couldn't give him that, maybe it was best for him to leave her alone all together. "You don't have to. You did what you had to do."

Pam gripped his elbow tighter. "No. I didn't. I did what I thought had to be done for everyone else but me. Do you know me at all Jim? Do you think I would kiss you for no reason?"

Jim's eyes darkened. "I don't know what you're capable of. Maybe before I thought I did, but I don't now."

Pam let his insult hit her, and he could see it stung her badly. But her grip remained on his elbow. She opened and shut her mouth with no words, before focusing again. "I-I didn't know what to do then. Can you understand I had resigned myself that Roy was my life. Ten years, Jim. Was I supposed to just jump up, and pack one neat little suitcase and come live with you? My life was entangled with Roy and I had to sort out what that meant."

"So why didn't you just say that? You said with such conviction you would marry him." Jim stammered out, his own emotions betraying him. He could sense Ryan and Michael staring at the scene, and Karen probably was too. But she wouldn't let him flee, her grip was tight.

"Stop running." Pam said in a harsh hiss as she felt him try to pull away.

With that Jim turned fully to her, eyes flaming with anger. "I'm not the one who ran for 4 years."

"Well I'm here now. You're still running." She said defiantly.

Jim wagged a long finger at her. "Oh, so now because you want to work things out, I'm supposed to jump? I'm not a puppy Pam. I'm not on your leash!"

Pam sat back, hurt filling her eyes. "I'm trying to make things right."

"How?!" Jim exclaimed, probably too loud, because half the bar stared in his direction. Pam looked around, uncomfortable at the watching eyes. "I mean was it not enough for you to see me lay out my feeling for you TWICE and get rejected? Because it was enough for me."

"I didn't reject you."

"I.can't." Jim slowly and bitterly hissed out the same words that haunted him. "Sounds like a rejection to me."

"Can we go outside?" she whispered, visibly shaken by Jim's anger.

"Sure. Last time you stepped on my heart, it happened outside too." Jim spat out, and Pam recoiled her grip. He stomped out the door, not understanding quite himself where all this rage was coming from.

They stood in the parking lot, the street lamps humming above them. Pam wrapped her arms around her waist and took a deep breath.

"You're angry. I get that. But you don't get to demand I not feel angry too. Maybe everything wasn't about you. Maybe I needed to leave Roy for me! I needed to stand on my own, and I had never got to do that! And isn't that what you kept demanding I do?! Make decisions for me?! How could you sit here and get mad I didn't run to you because you decided we should be together?!"

Jim bit back his initial angry response and considered her questions. "I just...I just wanted you. I didn't think...about the other stuff."

Pam closed her eyes and rested her hand on her eye lids. She was crying and Jim was pretty sure he was crying too, because his cheeks were soaked.

She looked up at him. "I didn't think I had a right to contact you after Casino night. I should have handled things better on all ends, but I have never been through anything like this before. I've only been with Roy. And I was scared....very scared. I was scared what all that meant. I didn't want to think I had done anything wrong, that loving you was cheating on Roy, but it was."

Jim tore away from her eyes and he felt Pam step closer.

"So?" Was all the anger Jim could muster. Looking at her right now, his heart betrayed him.

"So... I love you, didn't you hear me?"

Jim swallowed and felt his head pounding. He heard it but he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. Just like it played tricks with all those moments he thought she felt something too.

When he didn't respond she continued, stepping even closer. "I do love you Jim. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it that night but I didn't know what to feel anymore, I doubted myself. But...I love you Jim. I do. And I-I know...it's too late, now. I know I was being stupid all those months I didn't contact you. All I can say is I'm sorry. Oh god...I'm sorry."

Her shoulders shagged and she shook violently and Jim felt his heart beating its way into his throat. He choked back his own tears and reached out, finally grabbing her like he should have done before. And she leaned into him and cried openly as he stroked her head and planted kisses atop her hair. As her body finally relaxed against his, he cursed himself for not having control. He had controlled himself for 4 years, why all of a sudden he lost it, he didn't know.

She wiped at her eyes and leaned back looking up at him. He watched her sniffle, her eyes pink and nose rosy, and his heart filled with love for her. It was like an ocean, never drying out, replenishing each time he heard her breathe.

So Jim Halpert decided to grow a pair and do what he needed to do to fix the strain between them. Without warning, he bent down and smashed his lips against hers. She fell immediately into it and her fingers were in his hair again.

They would work out all the other kinks tomorrow. Because right now...they needed this.

Lazily, he walked towards the bathroom. He was going to take a piss, but his reflection in the mirror caught his attention and he stared at it.

You are such a loser, Jim Halpert. What the fuck is wrong with you? It seemed to shout at him.

He sighed heavily, wanting to break that mirror, but his landlord probably wouldn't like that, and then he'd have to replace it...plus he really, really had to pee.

Last night seemed to go in slow motion, Pam coming to the bar, sitting beside him, sipping on a beer while both of them stared at each other through a mirror. Before he knew it, they were arguing, in public, he was hurt and angry and began to lay it out on her. She looked wounded, but she took it like only Pam could, with a mix of fear yet understanding, and they went outside. His heart sank a little as he recalled the events of the night, his own behavior a shock to him. He was harsh and unyielding; he was pissed that she could come back into his life and affect him so much.

Truth be told, he had been a real jerk...nay, a large asshole. So when they stood outside, he watched her stumble over her reasons for not being able to take that step with him, for not being able to face what he'd been feeling for years. And her tears softened him as she clutched his shirt and cried; suddenly all that rage, all that rejection began to shrink back, even if just a little.

So he just said fuck it, and pulled her into a kiss. It surprised him thoroughly when she deepened it, her hands pushing up into his scalp, her tongue tangling with his.  It wasn't sweet like before, it was full of pain and heartache, selfishness, pleading. He moaned into her mouth, not tasting the beer she had sipped at all, but something sweet. And his heart raced, this was finally it, they were finally there together, not like before. He felt free and he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and carry her...carry her home.

She pushed her body against him and she was so close, he almost thought she would climb into his skin. Abruptly, the bar door opened and Andy came out singing with Michael, both obviously drunk.

Before it could register to Jim, he felt Pam's lips rip from his. He opened his eyes to see her go red, and she pushed away from him as if they were caught doing something wrong.

"Whoa-Big Tuna?! Ah ha! I knew it!" Andy slurred happily. Michael was grinning and nodding.

Jim just kept his eyes on Pam, who dropped hers to her feet and stepped backwards. He felt like it was Casino night all over again.  How her reaction seemed to get to him so deeply he had no idea why.  She just didn't get that they weren't doing anything wrong, there was no Roy anymore, no circumstances to stop them from being together, so why she recoiled back like that pissed him off. He couldn't have cared fucking less if Andy, Michael, or the Pope walked in on them making out.  Suddenly that dissipated rage came flooding back as Jim wondered would she always be this way with him, so guarded, and so scared.

He watched her look away from Andy, who was making kissy noises and Michael was laughing. And something inside him died a little more, so without word, he turned on his heels and stomped to his car.

"Jim." He heard her say as he walked away, but all he could see was her leaning against his desk on Casino Night, breaking their kiss, her hand pushing him away gently as she said his name.

She had rejected him after that, so he was going to leave before she could get a chance.

For once his long legs were a blessing as he reached his car quickly, her voice now shouting his name, meaning nothing to him.

He got in the car and drove off just as she approached. He didn't even glance in the rear view to see her drop her head in her hands and cry.

And now the next morning he stood in huffed out the elevator of Dunder-Mifflin Stamford, not even glancing once at reception. Part of it was because he was ashamed of his own behavior; the rest was because he didn't know what she wanted from him.

I-I love you Jim.

Those words had spun in his mind all night, and kept him up. If she loved him so much, why as there always a barrier in between them? If she wanted it, why did letting it be in public embarrass her so much?

He sat next to Ryan who gave him an inquisitive look, then turned back to his spreadsheet. He didn't speak and Ryan didn't either. There was a comfortable silence.

Andy leaned back and smiled. "So, how was your night?"

Jim decided to not go into this with Andy. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Andy frowned and turned back around.

Jim just focused on his reports and wondered if he just was one of those guys who would always wallow in misery.

Suddenly, he heard Karen screaming. "That's it! I can't take it anymore!"

Everyone turned to see her screeching at Dwight.

"All I did was merely change your inefficient way of handling customer contacts." Dwight rolled his eyes.

Karen clenched her fists and Jim was waiting for her to kill Dwight. "No! You deleted everything! I-I....Argh! Josh! Josh! Get him away from me!"

Jim was shocked by Karen's usually professional composure being shaken by dealing with Dwight.

Michael sighed and stood up. "I'm a manager, I'll handle this."

Josh had come out of his office. "What's-what's going on?"

As everyone watched, Karen grew livid and Dwight didn't even flinch. "He's getting on my last nerve. I can't work like this."

Michael had approached by then. "That's okay Josh, I'll handle this."

Josh eyed him and shook his head. "No, I think I got it, thanks."

"But I'm Regional Manager-"Michael said curtly.

"Not with this you aren't." Josh simply stated and then turned his attention to a bickering Karen and Dwight. "Now...what's the problem?"

Karen glared at Dwight. "He's absolutely insufferable. How anyone can work like this is beyond me!"

Dwight crossed his arms. "I'll have you know I was top regional salesperson last year. My methods work."

"I don't give a damn about your methods."

Josh waved his hands. "Okay, okay. Look, why don't we switch? Michael you'll sit with Karen."

Michael smiled and wagged his eyebrow. "Okay. Well hello, foxy lady."

Karen shook her head. "No."

Josh groaned. "Um, well okay. Um...Ryan, you sit with Karen. Dwight you sit with-"

Jim stared Josh down, shaking his head.

Josh got the message. "-Andy. And Michael you got Jim."

Jim sucked in a breath as Ryan went over to a very satisfied Karen and Michael sat down in the seat. Andy looked hurt and betrayed by all of it as Dwight slunk down beside him.

"So Jimbo...let's sell some paper."

But instead of bringing up a contact screen, Michael began playing Internet Poker.

What did he do to deserve this? To deserve having his life fall apart around him, to have Pam come back into his life but not really, and to have Michael in his face?

Andy turned around and gave a longing look to Michael, and Dwight mumbled to himself furiously.

Jim just sighed.

"Hey Jimbo...what's on your mind?"

He didn't want to tell Michael anything, because based on past experiences, that never went well. He sipped his coffee so he wouldn't have to go further. "Nothing."

"Sure it is, considering you were shoving your tongue down my secretary's throat last night."

Jim started to choke and Michael clapped him hard on his back. It stung and Jim just wanted nothing more than to crawl under his desk and die.

"No seriously, I'm glad you crazy kids finally worked that out."

"Uh, no. Nothing happened."

Michael looked perplexed. After all, Jim knew he did in fact see them basically inhaling each other's faces. "But-"

"Nothing happened." Jim repeated, quietly.

Michael nodded as though he finally worked out the situation. "Well Jimster, it must be for the best. Pam's not especially consistent. I mean, we kissed once too-"

Jim almost got whiplash when he turned to Michael. "What?!"

Michael looked somewhat sad as he spoke. "Not really a kiss. I tried to kiss her. I mean, we've both been rejected by her, so I guess that makes us brothers."

Jim couldn't breath. "When did this happen? Did you kiss her or not kiss her?"

He watched as Michael dropped her head. "No. She wouldn't let me. It was after the Diwali festival Kelly-"

"What's Diwali?" Jim questioned.

"Um...I think it's like Indian Christmas. Kind of. Maybe....So, anyway, Kelly took us to it and I was feeling the love, the energy. And I sorta proposed to Carol-man, that night sucked."

Jim wondered why Pam never contacted him. No matter what was going on between them; that was too juicy for Pam to keep to herself. Maybe she just didn't think he would care, or maybe she didn't even think of him at all then.  Or, it could have been because he had lost his phone back in early November after getting drunk with Andy, and she didn't know his new cell number. He dropped him head slightly and Michael noticed.

"I mean, it's not like I slept with her Jim. God knows...I want to." Michael sighed longingly. His reassurance wasn't necessary and it only made Jim nauseous.

"Hey...um...please don't tell me shit like that." Jim muttered.

"No, I'm sorry. I mean- she's your-well...I'm sorry. Just...lonely that's all." Michael replied simply.

Jim could relate. "Yeah I know the feeling."

The two men sat in silence as they contemplated the state of their lives. And it was odd Jim felt some sort of camaraderie with Michael on the whole rejection thing, even if Michael deserved it sometimes.

"So Carol said no?" Jim finally asked.

"Well...not really. It was more like a ‘let's talk about this somewhere else so I can say no' kind of thing. But she said that in front of everybody."

"Wow."

"It sucked. Hey, want to...go to lunch somewhere?" Michael asked, his voice pleading.

Jim didn't want to, but he sensed Michael's sadness. New job, no respect, no love life. Sounds familiar. "Uh...sure. Just...just give me a few minutes. I got to write an email."

Michael nodded and stood up to go to the break room. "Cool. Do they have a Hooters around here?"

Jim just smiled as Michael walked away and he opened his email up to compose a new message.

To: Pbeesley@dundermifflin.com 

From: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com

If it's not too late, and you don't hate me, I want to work things out. Meet me by the copier at 5:35pm if you want to as well.

Damn, I just flashed back to 6th grade. Too bad we don't have any swings to make it official.

You don't have to reply. Think about it, and if this is what you want, meet me there.

Love,

Jim

He hit send before he could change his mind about sending it. After a long pause, he decided it wasn't so bad to go eat at Hooters after all.

He reached out and grabbed a bottle of green Nyquil, some Tylenol Sinus, and some nasal spray. A small brunette woman next to him was struggling to reach the high shelved Benadryl, so in a swift move, he extended his arm and got it for her.

She smiled and blushed. "Uh, thanks. It sucks being short."

"No problem. And trust me, sometimes it sucks being tall."

He saw a flirtatious glint in her eyes and all he did was nod at her.  He turned and walked down the aisle with his basket, towards the fabric softners.  His cell phone vibrated as he approached the check out line, and when he recognized the number,  he grinned at it and then cleared his throat.

The check out girl watched him in amusement as he pushed out a fake cough and sniffle and then answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Hello, Jim. This is Dwight. I see you are not here today."

"Very observant of you. *Cough* What do you want?"

"Josh said you called in sick this morning. I was wondering what your symptoms were, seeing as it has kept you from reporting to work today."

Jim bit his laughter back and swiped his debit card. "*Hack* Well, if you must know...Dwight...I'm stuffy, my throat hurts, I have a fever, and my head has turned 360 degrees around. And oh...*sniff* I projectile vomited pea soup across the room."

The cashier giggled.

"Sounds serious."

Jim winked at the cashier and grabbed his bag. "It is. So...uh, what else do you want?"

"What was that? I heard beeping."

"Maybe you're sick too, hearing things."

"That's impossible, I don't get sick."

Jim unlocked his door and sat the bag on the passenger seat. "I though the same thing. But there's the epidemic. It was on the news, everyone's getting it."

"You're lying."

"Nope," Jim replied starting up his car. "I heard it makes you eat other people, and you eventually become a zombie."

There was a long pause. "You're lying."

"No, Dwight. I'm scared. I'm very *sniff* scared."

He heard Dwight cover up the receiver and mutter something to someone, probably Andy. Jim struggled hard not to burst out laughing. "Well...I uh-I... well....stay indoors. Barricade yourself in if you have to. And if it's too late, for the love of mankind, kill yourself Jim."

"Will do." Jim replied. "Hey Dwight, stay vigilant. Don't be a zombie."

"I won't Jim, I won't."

Jim flipped down his phone and laughed to himself as he pulled into his drive way. Dwight and Andy were the tag team of stupidity in the office. And they both deemed themselves assistants to the regional managers. Dwight, of course, appeasing Michael's many demands and Andy trying hard to brown nose an annoyed Josh. What a difference a year had made at Dunder-Mifflin Stamford. Creed, Kelly, Oscar, Kevin, and Meredith had transferred there. Stanley stayed behind and got a new job working for a pharmaceutical company. Phyllis decided to work with her husband, Bob Vance, at his company. At first, it was interesting seeing how the Scranton branch intermixed with Stamford, but now, the ‘new-ness' of it all had worn off.

Jim shut the door to his apartment and placed the keys in the bowl next to the door. He padded into the living room, smiling at the sight before him. Pam sat there, her nose red from blowing, her hair in a wild messy ponytail, and her eyes dark with rings under them.

And yet, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She had met him at the water cooler after all, a knowing smile on her face. And before he could apologize about what an ass he had been, she shook her head and motioned for the elevators. Quickly he went back to gather his stuff and shut down his computer while she waited patiently for him. Jim followed her towards the waiting elevators, and at that point, realized he'd follow her anywhere. Descending to the lobby, he focused his eyes on his feet, his heart beating fast and he went to glance up at her, catching her staring at him.

That actually made him blush, and together they stepped out and walked towards the parking lot. He felt her reach a hand out and touch his, intertwining her fingers with his, and he gasped a bit. She just kept her eyes ahead, a small smile pulling her face. When he approached her car, she stood in front of him, and finally dropped her head.

"I'm sorry." She said in a whisper.

"Me too." Jim replied, disgusted with his recent attitude towards her.

She nodded and looked back up into his eyes, and he swore that one stare was so powerful, it almost knocked him down.

"So," she said, her voice strong. "No more apologizing, no more looking back. Promise?"

He nodded. Honestly, Jim felt he had raged enough and looking at her right now, her eyes boring holes into his own, he felt no more doubt about this. "Promise."

And they spent that evening together, and then next evening, and the next, until a month had passed and Pam was his roommate. She fit in his life perfectly, and it was like they had never parted. It went from roommates to bedmates of course, and then they moved into their official "couple" apartment, just last month. Pam started her internship at corporate, but the commute home wasn't that brutal as they thought it would be. She only interned 2 days a week, and Jim was proud she was sticking with it and was doing a good job.

Now she lay sprawled on the couch, a mess of sniffles and coughs.

She turned to see him staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just...beautiful." He said smiling.

"Right. You got me some drugs?" she said as she blew her nose.

"What am I? Your pusher?"

"Gimme my Nyquil or feel my wrath Halpert."

Jim nodded and handed her the Nyquil. "Don't overdose on that, okay?"

"Whatever. What else did you get?"

He put the bag on the counter and pulled out 2 cans of tomato soup and 2 cans of chicken noodle. "Soupy goodness... which you might not be awake to enjoy, seeing as how you just took enough Nyquil to put an elephant asleep...you might get to eat with one of my grilled cheese sandwiches."

She smiled and sniffed.

"Oh and I got ginger ale, if your tummy hurts. And a new box of tissues. Fabric softner..."

"I love that stuff. When I could actually use my nose to smell it. " She replied and he smiled wider. This is why he was fucking in love with her.

"And I got also stopped at Blockbuster... I figured all that channel flipping would make you dizzy."

"Thank you Jim." She sniffed. She turned back around and sneezed loudly. "Dwight called, asking me all these questions. I told him I had some sort of zombie infection. He must have believed me."

Jim burst into laughter. "So did I! God...that is awesome. Bet you, he's going to stock up on potted meat and bunker down in his basement."

Pam laughed too, and then started coughing. Quickly, Jim was by her side, a glass of water in hand.

"Do you think they'll notice, we took a sick day together?" Pam asked as she sipped her water.

"I don't really care."

Pam snuggled against Jim and sniffed. "Me neither."