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Possibilities

They stood in the dim light and stared at each other for almost a full minute. Both of them were stunned and speechless from the power of what had just happened. It was just a kiss, but it was more than a kiss. It was a kiss that spoke louder than words (even the words he had spoken minutes before), a kiss that revealed secrets and made promises and created a whole new world of possibilities.

Pam opened her mouth but nothing escaped besides a gasp. Jim, too, tried to speak into the space between them, but only managed to move his mouth in awe. Finally, the spell seemed to break, and Pam slumped abruptly onto the edge of Jim's desk.

"I am an idiot," she said flatly.

Jim blinked, his stunned expression clouding "What? No, Pam, you're-"

"No, I am. I'm an idiot." She looked at him with an expression he couldn't read. The grim resolution that had carried him through his big confession and into the kiss began to recede into nausea. He could always read her eyes. She continued. "Jim, I- I thought we were friends."

Oh, no. No, no, no. That kiss. He'd been sure..."We are friends, Pam. You're my best friend. I just..."

Her expresion stopped him. It was scornful amusement- not accusatory, not defensive. "Jim. I thought we were just friends."

"Oh. Right." He couldn't resist. "Yeah, so maybe you are an idiot."

She laughed then, and he knew it was OK. Somehow, he wasn't going to lose her. She shook her head, still smiling wryly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. Downstairs. Remember?"

"No, I mean, before that."

Where to begin? He'd been in denial, he'd been afraid. He'd been honorable, he'd been an idiot. He'd tried a million times. Suddenly, though, the truth, the absolute truth, came out. "I was hoping you'd tell me."

"Oh." An expression of sadness creased her brow. Jim was relieved that he could read the emotion written there, and amazed at what it told him. She was sad because she felt she had disappointed him. It was unreal. "I- I couldn't tell you, though."

"I know. Because you were..."

Her eyes widened. "I'm engaged. Oh, my God, I'm engaged." Jim couldn't help but crack a smile. He could tell she'd honestly forgotten for a moment.

"Yeah," he said simply, drawing the word out slightly as if he didn't want to hear what she'd say next.

"No, Jim. I'm getting married. To Roy." There was a note of confusion, of panic, in her voice that Jim found comforting, all things considered.

He looked straight into her eyes. "No."

"No?" Her voice was very soft.

"No, Pam. Unless...unless it's what you really want. I want you to be happy. I want to be the one to make you happy, but if I can't..." Jim stopped abruptly. He didn't trust his voice, and concentrated for a moment on holding back the sudden tears. Pam's eyes, too, were welling up, and he saw her glance quickly over at the exit as if planning her escape. Swallowing hard, he said the first thing that popped into his mind. "So, um, who was on the phone?" He thought he knew, but he needed to keep her talking so she wouldn't slip away from him. Not again, not now.

The question seemed to steady Pam. "Yeah, that was my mom. I needed to...I mean, she...um. You really surprised me downstairs. I just needed to talk it through."

He cringed slightly. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't plan it that way." Why was this so hard? "I just needed to tell you. Before it was too late to make a difference." He sunk down into his office chair and gazed up at her. In the light of the monitors, her shimmery dress took on a soft glow.

Pam took a deep breath and looked down at him, and expression of determination on her face. "I told her what you said. She asked me...she asked me if I was in love with you."

Jim swallowed hard but didn't breathe. He'd walked in during the end of the conversation. He'd heard a few of Pam's words. Could she have-? He waited. He didn't dare to interrupt.

"I told her I thought I was. Jim- " she slid off the edge of the desk and moved toward him, so their knees were touching. "I think I am."

He'd hoped. He'd imagined. Some days, he'd been sure. But now, he knew. The enormity of it robbed him of coherent thought. Finally, he smiled, the smile she knew was just for her, and said the only thing that made sense. "Really?"

"Yeah. Yes, really," and she was smiling too. Sighing her name, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes. This was enough. He didn't need anything else. Just Pam. Just Pam.

Slowly, she sat upright. Her smile was gone, the anxiety back in her face. Meeting his eyes, she said, "He's not a bad person, you know. This is going to hurt him, and I hate that. You understand, that, right? You...you know this is going to be complicated for me, don't you?"

He took her hand gently. "I know that you are a good person, Pam. I know that you wouldn't have stayed with him all this time if you didn't...if you didn't care about him. Whatever you need, I...I'll support you. Or give you space or whatever it is. Just..." he paused, and the look of vulnerability touched Pam like none of his words had. "Just, don't marry him, OK? Please, don't marry him, Pam."

She shook her head and tried to smile reassuringly. "No. I couldn't now, could I?"

He looked down and then back up at her, trying to hide his smile. "Well, we did agree that you're an idiot."

"Oh, nice, Halpert. Thank you."

"Pam?"

"What now?"

"I love you. God, I love you."

And this time it was Pam who leaned in for the kiss- the miraculous kiss that held the key to everything that was possible.

I still own nothing and intend no infringement, offense, or harm of any kind.

What was

"I don't think we should get married."

"What?"

"I don't think we should get married, Pammy. Things have changed and it doesn't feel right anymore."

Pam recognized the words. They were the ones she was coming home to tell him. She wasn't quite sure what was happening.

Pam hadn't let Jim drive her home, or even follow her. After those intense few minutes in the darkened office, she needed the time alone. She needed to compose herself, and to plan how, exactly, to dismantle the life she and Roy had built. When she had told Jim, "I can't," she had felt the lie inside her soul. She knew it was fear and habit and worn-out feelings that kept her with Roy. She sensed the limitless possibilities of a future with someone like Jim. No, not 'someone like Jim' - with Jim. Jim, himself, who was funny and clever and attentive ant talented. Jim, who had confidence in her abilities and interest in her thoughts and feelings. Jim, who made every day bearable and who was, amazingly, in love with her.

Jim, who was so different from the other man she loved, and whose heart she was preparing to break.

Pam had let out a startled shriek as she entered the kitchen through the back door. Roy had been sitting quietly at the table, which she had not anticipated at all- particularly because the lights were out. "Roy, are you OK?" she had asked, and then been even more startled by what came out of his mouth next...

"Wait, what? You're calling off the wedding?"

Roy sighed and toyed with the label of the beer he was holding. "Look, I love you and everything, but...OK, so I asked Kevin if his band would play for our wedding tonight." Pam was hopelessly confused. Roy saw it on her face and pressed on. "Kev aked me if it was OK with you, and I was all, 'Whatever, I can choose whoever I want.' And it was...I didn't care if you were OK with it or not. I kinda wanted you to be mad, because you've been nagging me about all this wedding stuff." He took a swig of the beer, while Pam stared at him blankly and thought he was maybe just a little drunk.

"I shouldn't feel like that, you know? I know you've been annoyed at me because I don't really care about all this wedding crap. And, you know, that's OK that we don't always like the same stuff, but this is more than that."

More than that. The words resonated in Pam's heart, and she nodded slowly.

"Like, today in the office when you and Halpert were messing with Dwight. I know you guys do that stuff and I just don't get it. It's this whole other side of your life that I don't know. And that would be OK, too, except...I just don't care. I don't care about that stuff that you do or that you like, and I don't think you care about the stuff I care about. We used to, though."

He finally looked up at her. "We used to know each other better than anybody. We used to care, Pam, and I don't think we do anymore. I love you but you deserve someone who cares about the same things. And so do I."

Pam nodded again. "I think so too, Roy." He was giving her what she wanted but it was still hard to tell him what she had to say next. "I, um. I think I might have found someone like that."

Roy laughed without any trace of amusement. "Let me guess. Halpert?"

Pam nodded yet again. It was easier than talking. She forced herself, though. Roy deserved that much. "He told me tonight. I was coming home to tell you..."

Roy looked sad but not angry. "I can't believe he waited so long," he replied at last. "He's had a thing for you for a long time. I should have done something about that years ago. Knocked his head in or something. That's what I mean, Pam. I didn't do anything...I guess I didn't care enough. I'm sorry, Pammy. I'm so sorry."

"Oh." Pam's heart ached a little more than she had thought possible. "Nothing...nothing happened with Jim before tonight, Roy. Just so you know, I never..."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. But you like him, right? He's an OK guy. I just want you to be happy."

Pam tried to smile. "I want us both to be happy, Roy." She realized that this was the best, most intimate conversation she and Roy had had in years. If they could just be like this, maybe they could work it out- salvage the last ten years and have the future they'd always planned. She parted her lips to speak, when he began again.

"I saw you tonight, you know. Playing cards with him. You looked so pretty, and you were so smiley and happy. I haven't seen you like that forever. And then I left. I told him to keep an eye on you. Isn't that stupid? I guess he will, though." He took the last sip of beer and resumed playing with the label. "I looked in my mirror and I saw you. You kinda moved toward each other and filled in the space where the truck had been. I knew that's how it would be, I guess- you two would be together and I'd be gone. It's OK, though, because he just...he gets you and I don't. I deserve someone who I can make happy, and I don't think I can make you happy anymore."

"Oh, Roy." Pam didn't know what else to say. He was right. Every word was right. She was leaving him and she had never loved him more than at this moment.

Roy made a fairly good attempt to smile. "It's OK, Pam. We'll figure the rest of it out tomorrow. Right now, I just want to sleep." He paused, then barked a short laugh. "I'm sleeping in the bed. I think that's only fair."

"Yeah." She met his gaze. "Roy? I'm sorry."

Roy's expression changed for a moment, and she remembered the handsome, charismatic football player he had been when she fell in love with him. "Pammy, he'd better be good to you."

"I think he will be. Goodnight, Roy."

"'Night."

Pam sat at the kitchen table and listened to Roy move around upstairs. Anything is possible, she thought to herself.

I still own nothing associated with The Office and intend no infringement or disrespect.

What will be

She couldn't believe how well she'd slept. Curled up on the couch, dressed in an oversized t-shirt of Roy's that she had grabbed from the laundry room, she had expected to sit up all night, re-living the events of the evening. Jim's words, her own reaction, the kiss that changed everything, the conversation with Roy, the cell phone call to Jim. She'd told him it was OK, he could go to sleep. He'd been so worried, and she could tell from the sounds on the line that he wasn't at home in his room, but somewhere (probably close by) in his car, just in case. She told him that this would be her last night in the house; she'd find somewhere else to stay tomorrow. She'd hesitated and then, shyly, said, "I love you." She could hear his smile as he echoed the words back to her and ended the call, promising he'd see her tomorrow.

She didn't think long about any of those things, though. She had fallen asleep almost immediately. The stress she'd been living with was gone, replaced by exhaustion and a sense of peace. The upcoming days were going to be hard, but she knew she was finally moving in the right direction. Even the morning, getting ready and eating breakfast with Roy (as usual, and yet so different) wasn't as bad as she had expected. He'd been his normal self, promising he'd come right home after work so they could start "figuring things out". He didn't wait for her, however, and drove away in his truck while she still was still drinking her morning coffee.

She'd been waiting impatiently at her desk for almost ten minutes already, feeling totally refreshed and full of expectation. She wanted to see Jim. She wanted to see him come in and smile down at her so they could start this new phase of their relationship.

Pam's head bobbed up and she smiled as she heard the elevator. Her smile faded, however, when she saw that it wasn't Jim. "Pam. Can you please ask Toby to meet me and Michael in Michael's office right now? Oh, and please send an e-mail office-wide that we'll be having an all-hands meeting today at 1pm. Call down to the warehouse, too- I need everyone up here at one. Thanks." Jan Levinson barely paused on her way to Michael's office. Pam was sure Michael wasn't expecting Jan today, but she had no time to warn him. She called Toby and was concentrating on typing the e-mail when a soft voice interrupted her.

"Hi." She looked up and Jim was smiling down at her.

His smile warmed her to the tips of her toes, and she knew she was blushing. "Hey. You're late." She tried to sound like she was chastising him, but she was too happy to see him. "Something's up. Jan's in Michael's office and she's called an all-hands meeting for this afternoon."

Jim's smile creased momentarily into a frown. "Huh. I'm glad I came in, then. I was thinking of calling in sick." He tried to keep a straight face, but he was too happy to even successfully tease her. He turned and sat down at his desk, certain he wouldn't get anything done today.

The morning continued normally. Dwight was actually very busy, too busy to notice that Jim was completely oblivious to him for the first time in years. Had Angela been keeping score, she'd have noticed an all-time high at Pam-Pong, but she, too, seemed very focused on her work. In general, the office was very subdued. Jan's surprise visit and the meeting she'd called was enough to make anyone nervous, and everyone threw themselves into their tasks to avoid showing it.

Lunchtime came and went. Jim and Pam sat together, as usual- if anyone noticed that they were smiling more and touching more than usual, no one commented. Pam knew she was going to have to make some sort of announcement or something to let everyone know that the wedding was off, but she didn't want to do anything until she'd sorted things out with Roy. Jim seemed disappointed when she'd told him she was spending the evening hashing things out with Roy, but he nodded and said he understood. "We need some time alone to talk, though," he'd said quietly. Pam agreed, thinking to herself that she wanted to do more than talk once she got him alone. Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face, however, because the answering look in Jim's eyes made her blush furiously.

Finally, it was time for the meeting. Everyone filed into the conference room. Pam and Jim took their usual spots together in the back of the room. When the warehouse staff entered a moment later, Pam watched Roy move directly to the other side of the room and take a seat next to Darryl. He didn't look around to find her. She was surprised by the stab of pain that caused her. She unconsciously leaned more toward Jim, who looked down at her as if to check that she was OK. His tender smile almost brought the tears that Roy's presence hadn't.

"Hello, everyone." Jan was always down-to-business, but her voice was crisper than usual. "As you all know, Dunder Mifflin has been experiencing some setbacks in the market over the last two years. The recent contract with Lakawana county was a major coup, and was able to keep the Scranton branch afloat for several months. Unfortunately," Jan took a deep breath. Her face clearly showed stress, as her lovely features were taught and tense. "Unfortunately, corporate numbers make it impossible for us to keep our current staff levels. I am sorry to announce that the Scranton branch will be closing in two weeks."

Jan paused for some reaction, but the room was completely silent. Everyone was stunned. Pam noticed the camera operator panning the room to get every reaction. Jan continued, "I want to assure you that everyone who is let go will get a generous severance package. Toby will have the details of that for you in a moment. However, not all of you are necessarily out of a job. The Dunder Mifflin markets are being reorganized, so some new positions will be available in all of the other branches. Unfortunately, there are no openings for warehouse or admin staff." She glanced at Pam. Pam felt her chest tighten. This was too much change in a 24-hour period. Calling off the wedding and now having no job. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't- suddenly, she felt Jim take her hand and squeeze gently. She looked down at his long fingers wrapped around her small hand. She calmed down immediately. It was amazing what his touch did to her- Jim made it possible to breathe again.

She realized that Jan was still talking. "OK, so those are all the openings in the various New York offices. We also have one management position open in Stamford, which we will be offering to Michael. The open sales position in Stamford is being filled by Jim, but there's also an accounting position available there." Pam pulled away from Jim's hand and turned to look at him in disbelief. Jan went on, "Um, let's have a five minute break before Toby starts going over the application process for the new positions, as well as the severance policies." With a murmur, the other people in the office started moving towards the restrooms or the coffee machine. Pam and Jim, however, sat looking at one another. Pam got up and walked to her desk without a word, Jim trailing behind.

"Pam? Pam." His voice had a note of panic in it and she looked into his eyes. "Pam, I applied for that transfer...before. When I thought...Pam, I couldn't stay here and watch you marry him." He was speaking very softly, his upper body draped over her desk like it had been a thousand times before. No one watching would have guessed what their conversation was about.

"But...you're leaving. I can't...Jim, are you leaving?" She didn't know what else to say. This, this was too much. Too much change, too much loss. She fought to keep the tears from spilling out, but lost. Gently, Jim touched her face, smearing a mascara-tinged tear across her cheek. With a sigh, she leaned her head into his hand. They'd only just found each other- how could he be going away?

"Pam, I won't go anywhere without you. Come with me." He was serious- she could tell by the set of his mouth and his direct gaze.

"To Stamford?"

"Yes. Find a job you love. Go back to school. Whatever. Just, come with me."

"Jim, I don't know..."

"Why not? I hate to remind you, Beesly, but you are both homeless and unemployed." His smile crept back to its normal place. She started to smile, too. It was true. She was totally free. She started to reply when she noticed Jan hovering close by, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Excuse me, Jim. Um, apparently Michael is not interested in the management position in Stamford. He wants to stay here with his, uh, new girlfriend." Jan's smile was forced. "So, if you're interested, I'd like to offer the job to you. You're definitely my first choice. Think about it, OK?" She walked away with another insincere smile.

Jim and Pam stared at one another in surprise. All at once, Pam burst out laughing. "Oh, you have to take it. You have to. Didn't Jan say there was an accounting job open in Stamford? Angela can take that one, and then Dwight can have the job you were going to take! It'll be perfect!"

"What are you talking about?" Jim was entranced by Pam's laughter, but was completely confused by her words.

"Oh, Jim. I should have told you, but...Dwight and Angela have been seeing each other for months. This will work out perfectly for them, and, as an added bonus- you can be Dwight's boss!" She laughed again at the look of shock and revulsion that passed Jim's face before he, too, started to laugh.

"Um. Wow. That's a lot to process." He was smiling at her and her heart filled up. "So, will you come with me?"

Pam stopped laughing, but her happiness filled her eyes as she took Jim's hand. He was everything she'd ever needed, even when she didn't know it. She'd almost lost him, and now he was offering to take her on the closest thing to an adventure she'd ever had. "Do you think I'd let you go without me?" she whispered.

"Impossible."



The End