Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

1--VANDALISM (Pam)

It was an accident, really.

It's not like she's gotten up that morning and decided that she was going to do it.

As she went through those tapes of Dundies of years past (and made faces at Jim through the conference room door), she had grown seriously irritated. It wasn't enough that Michael humiliated himself and all of them on a daily basis. No, on top of it all he was making her relive every Dundies train-wreck in the history of the world and it was just the final straw.

Without even putting a single thought into what she was doing, she slipped the Sharpie in her hand (sometimes Michael mislabeled the tapes) up her sleeve and made her way purposefully into the bathroom.

She kept that marker up her sleeve even as she giggled about it with Phyllis and Kelly, loving the secret thrill of having done something that no one would expect from her.

When Dwight starts to investigate, she almost tells Jim (it's too good of an opportunity to mess with Dwight).

But part of her likes that she has a secret, a side to her that no one knows.

She hides the Sharpie in her desk drawer before sliding on her coat and heading down to the parking lot.

Now she's kinda looking forward to the Dundies.

2--FORGERY (Stanley)

Every last Friday of the month was date night.

Stanley knew that he really didn't spend much time as he should with his youngest daughter, Melissa. She spent most of her time at school, week nights doing homework or with her friends down at that coffee place. And usually he was just so worn out from work (his co-workers was more like it. From Michael to Dwight to Phyllis to even Jim sometimes) all he wanted to do was have a quiet meal and then relax in his favorite chair.

But Date Night was just for him and Melissa. They'd go to dinner and a movie, sometimes mini-golfing (though now, that was "so lame, Dad") and then he'd drop her off at his ex-wife's house for the weekend.

When he realized that Michael's incompetence would ruin this night, he was ready to just get up and leave right then and there.

So when at 6:42 when Michael tells them to just "gang bang this thing", Stanley doesn't hesitate to stand up, grab a pen out of Pam's pencil cup and being to sign on the tabs marked.

Pam let out a sigh of resignation and picked up a stack for herself, and even Angela joined in (not without expressing her misgivings about it first).

He couldn't help but notice how everyone's version of "Michael G. Scott" looked exactly like Mike's real one.

Maybe he could convince Melissa to go mini-golfing tonight.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

3--PERJURY (Dwight)

This was a test.

He was absolutely sure about this. A test of his loyalty to Michael, to the company.

But Michael was more than his boss: he was his mentor (his sensei), his leader, his friend, the captain he would lay down his life for.

His life.

And of course, his life outranked his urine in the grand scheme of things. And yet, he hesitated.

He briefly thought that this was what it must have been like for Sam, when he and Frodo were inside of Mount Doom and Frodo gave into the ring. Sam saved him, even after Frodo had been proven to be weak.

Dwight would save Michael, even though he'd been weak.

This was a test.

But as he handed Michael the cup, he couldn't help but feel awful.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror as he washed his hands, his sheriff's badge catching the light, and he suddenly knew.

This had been a test. Just not the one he thought.

And he'd failed.

 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

4--PLAGERISM (Jim)

Sometimes he hopes that Dwight is smarter than he lets on.

There are times that Jim honestly thinks that, in the end, Dwight's the one that is really playing the ultimate prank on him. Because sometimes Jim doesn't know how Dwight just doesn't have what's considered to be common knowledge.

And honestly, Jim's never been a good liar.

So, he's not quite sure how he feels about the fact that Dwight almost always took everything Jim said at face value (even when showing outward suspicion). It was like...Dwight trusted him. He must, because even after all the pranks and teasing, Dwight would still confide in Jim sometimes and it would strike him as surreal.

It was at these times that Jim considered whether or not he should test that trust (dare he say loyalty?), to stop pushing him.

But then Dwight would turn around and be completely obnoxious and Jim just wasn't going to have it.

So it was with a clear conscience that he printed out Mussolini's speech, having typed "Dwight's Speech by Jim Halpert" on the Word document just moments before.

Watching Dwight scan the words, Jim looked carefully for any sign that Dwight knew what it was. But he snatched up the sheet of paper and said "I'll glance at it" and Jim really wished that Michael decided that the whole office needed to go and 'support' Dwight just so he could witness what was sure to be one of the best pranks ever.

Or, at least, he should make sure that someone got it on video.
 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

5--ASSAULT (Jan)

Thrown herself at him.

Literally.

She'd always hated women who fell all over themselves, gushing over a man and doing impulsive, sentimental, stupid things.

She was not one of those women.

She wasn't.

Especially not over Michael Scott (it still made her shudder sometimes).

So exactly why it was that she flung herself against him, shutting her eyes tightly as she attacked him with her mouth, anticipating the surprise and the longing (she refused to see the adoration) in his blue (so blue) eyes when she pulled away.

Straightening herself out, she walks out of the office, making her way purposefully to the elevator.

It's only once that she's inside, gazing at her distorted image reflected on the doors, that she allows herself a small smile.

She loved control, but it was something she rarely had in a relationship (good God, a relationship with Michael). And really, this was all about control.

Yes, this...thing was about her, Jan Levingson and her controlling, self-destructive ways.

It was not about love.

No.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

6--ARSON (Ryan)

Karma really was a bitch.

It's not like he'd done anything horribly bad in his life. Sure, he knew he could be a bit of a jackass sometimes, but who wasn't? Although, he had noticed that ever since he started this job, he seemed to be stuck on jackass mode. It's almost like it was the only way he knew to survive in this place.

But really, that wasn't that bad, was it? And there wasn't anything else he could have possibly done to deserve this.

He looked at Michael Scott as they both sat in his car, separated from all the others that had been evacuated from the building and tried to think what he could have done to land him in this situation.

There was no possible way that this was his fault. The universe just seemed to hate him for some reason.

Yep. Ryan Howard, God hates you.

When Dwight ran back outside, holding a charred piece of toast triumphantly in his hand, he knew he was screwed.

But as he drove home that day, he couldn't help but find it kinda funny that he'd started a fire at a paper company.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

7--CONSPIRACY (Angela)

Angela Martin considered herself a fairly patient person.

Good things come to those who wait.

Her mother had stitched that on a pillow and given it her when she had gone off to an all-girl Christian college.

And the adage had been proven true on several occasions.

But lately, she hadn't liked being patient very much. Because really, it was getting her nothing.

She felt her lips press into a thin line as she watched Jan through the blinds of Michael's office, reaming him, no doubt, about the waste of time that was Movie Monday. This branch was already on the chopping block, and no one around here seemed to care that they would lose their jobs because Michael had made one too many stupid mistakes.

She wasn't about to stand around and let it happen.

She let her gaze wander over to Dwight, who was concentrating on his computer screen.

Her thoughts turned another pillow, one that she had stitched herself and laid on her bed so that she would see it everyday.

Filled with resolve, she marched purposely past his desk, hissing "kitchen" at him as she walked by.

God helps those who help themselves.