Dear Sis:

Thanks for your letter last week. To answer your question, yes, the parole board approved my moving here last month, so everything's okay. I've got an apartment in East Scranton with another parolee. She was in for kiting checks, so I make sure I pay the rent myself. In cash. The rent's cheap but boy the commute sucks. I have to get up at 5:00 AM to catch the bus, then wait thirty minutes to catch a second one. Sucks.

But the good news is, yes, I have a job. Full time, no less. Of course it's not teaching; I told you the Board of Education pulled my teaching license when I was convicted. So I applied for clerical work, but no luck there, either. People think an ex-junkie (emphasis on the ex! I'm going to meeting every week.) can't answer phones. But this cleaning company was hiring and they didn't care about my record as long as I said okay to random testing, which I did. So instead of teaching high school science I'm cleaning toilets, but it's good pay and the benefits cover my rehab.

So anyway, you can reach me at this address for awhile. I won't be going anywhere unless my asshole PO decides my job is a bad idea or something. Give my love to Adam and the girls, and tell Mom I'll call her Sunday night. Oh, and here's five bucks towards the money I owe you. It isn't much, but I need to pay you back. I need to. Write soon!

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Yes, I absolutely want you to have the money. It's only five bucks, it won't break me. But I need to know I'm paying you and Adam back for all the money you laid out for lawyers. I screwed up big time, and you helped straighten me out. I did my time and I'm not proud of myself, but I'd like to get a little self-respect back, okay? So keep the money. Here's another five bucks. Next month I'll be able to get a bank account again, and I'll send you checks instead of cash.

Don't worry about Georgia, my roommate. Yes, she's a paperhanger, but I don't let her anywhere near my stuff, so she can't steal my identity or anything. I lock my bedroom door every time I leave the apartment. Thanks for the suggestion about the plants. Yeah, I think a vine or something would look nice. Do they do well in bathrooms? Ours has a frosted glass window near the sink.

Thanks for asking about my knees, but really, I'm okay with the work. My boss, Sam, took me off toilets and gave me almost a whole building to myself. That's good for me because it means he trusts me, and because I make a little extra. Not much, but it's all good. For one thing, it means I don't need a car just yet; I get to work on the bus and stay in the same building all day. The first floor is a warehouse for a paper company, whose offices are on the second floor. Then there's a heating company and a refrigeration company. In other words, it's almost all guys, very few women. The ladies' room on the first floor hardly gets used at all. Except I think Paul, the security guard, uses it. The part I like cleaning best is the second floor, which is the offices of the paper company. It's called Dunder-Mifflin; yeah, I never heard of them either. But at least it's office work, not as much dirt and grease as the warehouse area.

Gotta go. I had to clean up after a spill at the refrigeration company today and I'm beat. My love to Adam and the girls.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Oh, man, you are NOT going to believe this. This is so cool! You remember I told you about the paper company whose offices I clean? Guess who works there? Creed Bratton! I couldn't believe it! You remember the Grass Roots? I still love their song, "Temptation Eyes". Well, I was cleaning under this desk at Dunder-Mifflin, and there was a pay stub there. I saw the name and almost freaked out! Creed Bratton! I mean, how many could there be? Oh, and his birth date is on the check, so it's definitely the right age. And there's stuff on his desk with the name "Creed" on it. Now I think I'll change my schedule so I can be cleaning those offices during the time the workers are there. If I get a look at him, I'll let you know. Do you still have those old LPs of the Grass Roots?

Sorry to hear about Danielle's cold. I hope she feels better soon. Here's another five bucks for the money I owe. Tell Adam I love him but stop being a dick about the money.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Sorry about taking so long to write back. I had some trouble with my PO, who claimed I was trying to evade him. Dickwad just lost my phone number, that's all. I haven't gone anywhere. I think he was ready to yank me back into stir until my boss, Sam, called him and stuck up for me. He verified that I was at work the times my PO was calling. What a jerk. Anyway, I'm cool for now, but I was kind of worried there.

And yes, it's really Creed Bratton! But there's more news. Really wild stuff, Sis. Last week I told Sam I needed to change the order I clean the building, and he said it was up to me as long as it all got done. He's got his hands full training a bunch of kids who don't know anything, and he pretty much lets me call my own shots. I didn't have this much freedom when I was a teacher! So anyway, I got to the Dunder-Mifflin offices early on Thursday and went in pushing my cart. There's this pretty little receptionist, very young but sweet, who jumped up to help me with the door. A lot of receptionists are too snotty to even notice the cleaning lady, but she was nice. Anyway, I started sweeping, being as cool as possible to avoid bothering people because they'd tell me to leave, and you won't believe what I saw.

Television cameras! Can you believe these people are being filmed? There's a camera crew that comes every day to do nothing but film the people in that office, for some kind of documentary. Anyway, as soon as I started doing my thing, this guy in a black baseball cap who looks like a homeless bum comes over and starts asking questions, wants to call Sam, yadda yadda. After I explained what I was doing there, he called his boss and then went in and talked to the boss of this office (his name is Michael something). More talking. I go on sweeping, though this one guy (I think his name is Dwight) was giving me some grief about dust bunnies and dead skin cells. This other guy, a good looking kid named Jim, started asking the Dwight guy how he knew about the sex lives of dust bunnies, and did they use protection, and I just about cracked up listening to those two.

After awhile, the camera guy and the Michael guy called me in and explained that if I was going to be coming in all the time and cleaning, I had to sign a waiver because I'd be on TV! That, or I'd have to come in at another time. So I signed the paper. Hey, I'm going to be on TV! Don't know when, though. I don't think they're finished with the filming part.

Whoops, there's the oven timer. Gotta go. I'll write more soon. Glad Danielle is better. Give her a hug from Aunt Sunny.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Wow, talk about harsh. I understand that maybe you don't feel you can trust me much, after the way I screwed up with the pills and all, but I would never lie to you. I'm putting a copy of that paper I signed in with this letter, so you can see I wasn't lying or high or anything. I really have signed a waiver with a documentary camera crew. In fact, I made that copy on the copy machine in the Dunder-Mifflin offices, on camera, so some day maybe you'll see me doing it on TV! Anyway, I guess I shouldn't be mad but it does hurt that you don't believe me. And please don't tell Mom not to believe me. It's important not to upset her.

So yes, to get back to what I was saying in my last letter, the guy in the Dunder-Mifflin offices is really and truly Creed Bratton. I went to the library on Sunday and used their computer to get on the Internet. I Googled him and yeah, that's him! His hair is gray and real short, and he doesn't have the little goatee he had on the cover of that old album. But if you still have the Grass Roots Greatest Hits album, check out the guy on the far right. Put gray hair on him, and that's pretty much the same guy. I couldn't believe it! A real rock star, and he works in my building! Sorry, sometimes it makes me feel sixteen again. I wonder if they'd fire me if I asked for an autograph. I'm way too chicken to go near him. The closest I got was when I was sweeping up some paper shreds from a 3-hole punch. It was close to his desk, and I took my time cleaning up. When I looked over, he was playing solitaire on his computer screen. I got goosebumps, Sis!

The rest of that office is a zoo. There's that nice receptionist; her name is Pam and she's a real sweetheart. But that Dwight guy has bobbleheads all over his desk and he's a real crank. He's always barking at this guy named Andy who's got a screw loose himself. How these guys get any paper sold is beyond me. The Jim guy is kind of nice, but seems like something of a slacker. I think he's dating one of the other women in the office, a nice looking girl named Karen. But I could be wrong, because there's something between him and the receptionist, I can't quite figure out. I don't think he's two-timing the Karen chick, but Pam sure spends a lot of her time looking at this Jim guy. Which I don't blame her for at all. And then there's this really quiet guy named Toby who works in human resources and always says hello when I come in to empty his trash.

But the boss! Oy vey! His name is Michael, I think I said that, and he's just nuts! I was replacing the bottled water dispenser when he came out of his office and ordered everyone into a meeting in their conference room to discuss some new diet he thinks everyone should be on, to reduce their medical premiums. I think it was mostly raw vegetables and seaweed, from what I overheard.

Oh, and about the cameras. They're everywhere! Sometimes there's only one crew, sometimes two. Now and then they'll come grab someone and pull them into an empty room for a one-on-one interview. I heard the Dwight guy call them "talking head" interviews. So far they haven't interviewed me. Hah hah.

I'm putting in ten dollars this time, to make up for the week I missed. Next week I'm opening a bank account so I can get Direct Deposit. You should be easier in your mind about that because it means Georgia can't get her hands on my paycheck. I don't know why you're so worried about that. I'm okay.

Tell Danielle thank you for the drawing of the blue giraffe. I put it up on the wall of my bedroom.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Wow, so much drama where I work! Last week it looks like the shit really hit the fan somewhere. First, this Michael guy took everyone to a beach party or something, and the office was practically empty! I got all my work done in no time and then spent some time reading through some of the magazines in the ladies' room. It's really nice, with a little fountain and a couch and all. I make sure to keep it extra clean because that little receptionist girl is so nice, I don't want her to be grossed out when she goes in there.

Anyway, the day after the beach party, everyone was excited because several of the people were going to go interview for some big shot job in New York. Michael (the boss guy) went, and then Jim and Karen (I think I told you they were dating). This guy Dwight gets made temporary boss and he went absolutely batshit. He painted Michael's office black! Can you believe that? It was like being in Spencer's gifts or something. I wondered if he was going to put up black lights and those posters of unicorns we used to want to buy.

So anyway, about mid afternoon Michael comes back and makes this big "I'm back" speech no one paid attention to. I was mopping up a coffee spill by this guy Stanley's desk and heard the whole thing. The guy is really pathetic (Michael, not Stanley). I had noticed that little Pam was kind of subdued all day. I think she was missing her friend Jim. So anyway, the camera guys pulled her in to film an interview in the conference room, and halfway through I see Jim come through the doors. He tossed his messenger bag on his desk and didn't even slow down--he opened the door to the conference room (which we've been told to never do when they're filming) and said something to her. I don't know what it was, but whatever she said back made him smile. When he closed the door, well, I haven't seen that look on a guy's face in a long time. I think this Karen chick is history, or will be soon. Then Pam came out and I swear, Sis, she was walking on air. And I swear when she looked at him and he looked back at her I smelled roses or violets or something. Wow, what a romance! And right here under my nose! I fell sorry for that Karen. I don't know where she was all day, though.

Oh, to answer your question: no, I have not spoken to Creed. Are you kidding? I'd fall right through the floor with embarrassment. What could I say? "I'm such a big fan. You rock!" Why don't I just do that whole Beatlemania squealing thing you used to do, while I'm at it! Hah hah. But yes, if you find that old LP album, send it along. I'll try to work up the courage to get an autograph.

Here's a check for five bucks. It's check number 001! The first one on my new account! Tell Adam that yes, I signed up for check protection at the bank in case Georgia tries to pull something. Honestly, I wish you guys would lay off her. She is a real good cook.

Weather here has been hot; I hope Philly is cooler. Are the girls out of school yet? Ah, summer. Remember when we used to play on the slip and slide next door at Aggie and Jack's? Give my love to Adam and the girls.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Oh, man, this is better than soap operas! So much drama at Dunder-Mifflin! Let me see if I can get it all down before the postman comes.

Okay, first, Karen got dumped. I was completely surprised. I didn't think Jim would be such a jerk, but apparently they both went to New York to interview for this big time job in the corporate headquarters. Not only did Jim turn it down, but he told Karen they were over! And drove all the way back to Scranton in less than two hours (wow, he must have been flying low!) to walk in and ask Pam out (which is the little scene I saw last week).

Before I forget, yes, he's good looking, in a kind of ordinary way. Does that make sense? He's very tall, kind of skinny, and dresses like Uncle Louis. Very bland. But he's got very expressive eyes (hazel) and a fantastic smile, and a real sense of humor. Which he needs, to put up with the shit that he gets from the Dwight guy. Oh, and Pam. She's medium tall, pretty but doesn't glam up at all. Dark blonde hair, very curly, pulled back in a half-ponytail like you used to wear in high school. I think she's in her mid-twenties. If you look close you can see she's got a good figure, but she's not flaunting it. You can tell I like her because she's such a genuinely nice person. I feel a little protective of her. I worry that this Jim guy may be a heartbreaker who goes through women like a dose of salts. If he hurts her, I'll put laxative in his coffee.

Oh, and Michael turned down the job, too. Turns out his girlfriend was not only his boss, but he was interviewing for her job and didn't know it! When he found out, he pulled his name from consideration (which I thought was only right), but then they fired his boss anyway and she had some kind of meltdown. Everyone was gossiping about it the next day.

So who got the job? Jim turned it down, Michael turned it down, and Karen stayed in New York. She got the job, right? I have no idea.

I'll write more soon. Here's another check for you, and one for Mom. Please get her something nice for her birthday. I'll call her, of course.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

What cute pictures! Thanks for sending them along. I can't believe how tall the girls are! I like Danielle's haircut; now I can see those pretty blue eyes at last! I loved the picture of Mom blowing out the birthday cake candles with her grand-daughters. I put that up on the wall of my bedroom. And the slippers were a perfect gift; thanks for getting them on my behalf. Did Mom get my card?

I got tested for drugs today. I was leaving the apartment to get to work and my PO showed up with a drug testing lady and I had to pee in front of her. I hate that, but if it keeps me out of the can I'll live with it. Of course I tested clean. I haven't even had a beer since I got out. I think my PO was actually disappointed.

Anyway, to answer your questions. Karen is about medium height, with pretty mocha-colored skin. She's Italian, maybe that's what they call olive skin? Anyway, she's shorter than Pam and has dark shoulder length hair. She's a saleswoman, and dresses very professionally (although I think she needs a little more color). Dwight looks shorter than Jim but he's actually the same height; I think he slumps a little. He frowns a lot, wears glasses, parts his hair in the middle and wears the most God-awful mustard colored suits and shirts you ever saw. But you'd love his car--a vintage Trans Am like Buddy used to drive. Yeah, you wanted to be reminded of your old boyfriend, hee hee!

Okay, it looks like Jim's little incursion into the interview last week was to ask Pam out on a date! Boy moves fast, I tell you. Karen's tears weren't even dry on his sleeve and he's putting the moves on the receptionist. I said I was worried about Pam, but I'm worried about Karen, too. On Friday, she came in looking like death warmed over. She wouldn't meet anyone's eye, and hers looked swollen and puffy like she'd been crying. When I went over to empty her trash, it was full of balled-up tissues. She answered the phone while I was there, and her voice sounded hoarse, too. She's a nice girl; I can't believe that asshole Jim just broke up with her like that.

However, Pam looked like she'd just celebrated Christmas and her birthday and the Fourth of July all at once. She positively glowed all day long. Must have been some date, because Jim was practically incoherent. When I was watering the plant next to his desk, he went through four customer calls and didn't make a lick of sense on a single one. He finally told each one he'd call back tomorrow. I don't think his tongue was working. He wouldn't look at Karen, but I caught a glimpse of his monitor and it looked like they were doing that Instant Message thing. That's how I know he and Pam had a date, because I caught the tail end of one message from her about how "last night was awesome!" Well, there's no doubting the boy is good looking, and I hope he at least showed her a good time (nudge nudge wink wink).

And while all this Pam and Jim and Karen stuff is going on, Michael (the boss, remember?) comes out of his office in tears (yes, a grown man) to announce that Ryan got the job in New York and he is now their "overlord". Who is Ryan? I'd run into him once or twice, when I was cleaning the annex. Nice enough guy, kind of stand-offish, though. Turns out he was dating the girl who shared his cubicle, and he dumped her flat as soon as he took the job! This is crazy! So, in case you're confused, here's how it stands:

Michael (the boss) is having an affair with his (lady) boss. But his boss got fired and now a guy who works for him (Ryan) is going to be his boss. Jim was dating Karen and applied for the job that is now Ryan's. He dumped both the job and the girl and asked Pam the receptionist out. Any one of these would be enough drama for a month at any other place I've worked, but this all happened on the same day! Crazy, I tell you.

Georgia and I are going to a movie tonight. I'll write again soon.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I appreciate the offer, but I can't leave the Scranton area without my PO's permission or permission from the court, so I'll pass on Labor Day this year. Next year, maybe? I'll be talking to my PO about Thanksgiving, though. Cross your fingers.

And thanks for finding the Grass Roots album! Wow, those were the days, hey? Remember when we used to go skinnydipping with Aggie and Jack? I wonder where they are these days. Didn't Jack go to Penn State? Anyway, if I can work up the courage, I'll ask Creed for an autograph. It's funny, he's pretty oblivious to most of what goes on here. The whole Jim/Pam/Karen meltdown, the announcement that Ryan is taking over Michael's boss' job, it just rolled right past him. However, he said hi to me yesterday! I was emptying out his trash can and he said hello. I didn't say anything, I was too star struck or something. Yes, at my age. Embarrassing.

So anyway, I'm glad you're not bored with all this Dunder-Mifflin drama. Hah hah. There's more weirdness. I told you that the building has a refrigeration company. It's the biggest refrigeration company in Scranton, Vance Refrigeration. Turns out that one of the saleswomen in Dunder-Mifflin is Mrs. Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. She's a nice gal, a little younger than me, but sharp. She doesn't miss much, but she doesn't talk much. And she likes to gossip! I overheard her on the phone to her husband, running down all the details of the Jim/Karen/Pam thing. I got busy dusting imaginary dust on a file cabinet and listened in, so here's the lowdown.

It seems that Pam used to be engaged to some guy in the warehouse, but just before they were going to get married, she broke it off. There were rumors that Jim had a crush on her, and Phyllis thinks something went down before the wedding, because all of a sudden Jim transfers away from Scranton, shocking the hell out of everyone! He transferred to another branch office Connecticut, which seems to be where he met Karen, who was working there.

I swear I need to put together a spreadsheet on these people. "Days of Our Lives" is not this complicated!

Phyllis mentioned a merger, so it looks like Jim got transferred back here and brought his girlfriend. That must have been interesting! And I think Andy came, too (Guy drives me nuts humming all the time.) So now Jim is back in Scranton, his "crush" is no longer engaged, but he's got Karen. I'm starting to feel a little sympathy for the guy. It could not have been easy for any of these folks. And remember that beach party I told you about, the day before Jim and Karen and Michael went off to interview for the job none of them got? Phyllis said something about Pam's "speech to Jim in front of everybody". Oh, boy. I'd love to know what that was all about! Because 24 hours later, he's ditched his Connecticut girl and is asking Pam out!

I sure wish I knew more about this stuff. Would it be rude of me to look at their desks when I'm cleaning up after hours? Yeah, it would.

Congratulations to Adam on his promotion! Tell him I'll be hitting him up for a loan soon! Hah! Kidding!

The movie with Georgia was awful. Something about a guy building an ark in suburbia. Silly. She has awful taste in movies. I wish we had a television.

Love,

Sunny

Congratulations to me! I got my 6-month token in meeting last night. I've been clean and sober for half a year, not counting the time in stir, so I get a blue poker chip! Whee! But seriously, thanks for all your support and love. It's meant everything to me. We got a new group leader, Rabbi Aaron, since Sharon is leaving to have her baby. He's an alcoholic, sober now for ten years, and very experienced. I feel comfortable with him.

I had a bit of a scare this week. My boss, Sam, got wind of my "contract" with the documentary film crew at Dunder-Mifflin, and thought I was working off the books or something. He was nice about it, but very concerned, since it's a violation of company policy. I called Dunder-Mifflin to see if I could get one of the documentary crew to talk to Sam. Pam (the receptionist) took the call and told me someone would call right back. Well, bowl me over if it wasn't Jim! He's apparently the Assistant Manager or some such. I don't know what he said to Sam, but he (Jim) must be one hell of a salesman, because Sam was fine after that. I'm so glad Pam didn't get Michael to talk to Sam, or I might be not only out of a job but back in jail. Or deported or something. There's no telling what that guy Michael will say. Anyway, I owe Pam.

I found something to do on those long bus trips to and from work. When I went into the ladies' room at Vance Refrigeration to clean yesterday, I found Phyllis (Mrs. Bob Vance) in there, sitting on the couch and knitting. I think she hangs out there to get a break from her co-workers upstairs. You know how I love handwork, so I chatted with her. She's knitting a sweater for her husband. If you'll send me the girls' measurements, I'll see if I can't get hold of some needles and yarn and make them some sweaters. What colors do they like?

Here's another check, and a discount coupon for McDonald's I found in the trash. Maybe the girls would like a Happy Meal on their Aunt Sunny.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Your card was so sweet! Thank you. I never miss a meeting. Rabbi Aaron is funny and tells jokes, but he's also very serious when he's counseling someone.

Thanks for the measurements. I think I'll try knitting a pink sweater for Danielle and a yellow one with a sunflower for Rachel. Do you think those are good choices? Let me know if they like some other colors.

More drama at Dunder-Mifflin, but not with the office workers. I got called into another meeting with the director of the camera crew that is filming there. His bosses (producers?) are not happy with the working arrangement with me. I'm not an employee of Dunder-Mifflin, so they can't interview me, and the big guys are not happy with me being on-camera. The director said he argued with them about that, because he says they've filmed pizza delivery guys and so forth. Bottom line is, they don't want me on-camera. Boo hoo. Here I was hoping to be a media star! However, they're not going to tell me to start working only at night or something (not that I would--that bus ride at night would be scary!).

Now here is the weird part. The director made a deal with me. He said he'd sign me up as a 'contractor' with the documentary film crew, if I would help them with 'research'. By 'research', he means 'going through the employees' desks, trash, file cabinets, and so forth'. Of course I said no right away, but he got on the phone to a lawyer for the film company, who explained that this is all perfectly legal. The employees of Dunder-Mifflin have all signed waivers that basically say their souls belong to the company when they're on the premises, and that they have waived any rights to privacy. Personally, I think that sucks because really, who would risk losing a good job by saying no when they ask you to sign that? But anyway, the director said that the employees are used to being asked all sorts of outrageous personal questions, and that going through their desks (not their purses and such, that is off limits) is perfectly within the law given that they've all signed waivers.

I told him I'd think about it. He's offering me a 'bonus', and promises to clear it with Sam if I say yes. What do you think I should do? On the one hand, I don't want to break the law, and on the other hand, it's really good money and I'm very curious about these people. Write me soon and let me know what you think is the right thing to do.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I can't afford a lawyer, that's for sure. My instinct is to say no to all of this, but Adam made a good point. If I get it all in writing, and get them to include something about me using my discretion about what I 'report', that might cover my ass. I have to decide soon, because this director guy is really pressing me for an answer. And you are absolutely right that no one has told me I can't drop a discreet word in the ear of each of the people who work there. I'm not sure I want to know what Kevin (he's a fat guy in Accounting, kinda creepy) keeps in his drawer.

I tried the brisket recipe you sent. It was good, but so much more than one person can eat! Thanks. Georgia is on a baking spree this week--it's all cookies, all the time. She's manic about it. I took some in to work, and the warehouse guys now are all calling me Cookie Lady. They're great guys.

No, I don't have Creed's autograph. Yet. Quit bugging me.

Mom sounded like she had a cold last time I talked to her. Is she okay?

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I had a brainstorm yesterday--I talked to Rabbi Aaron after the meeting about what I should do about that director's request that I 'spy' for the documentary film crew. Surprise! Rabbi Aaron is, in fact, a lawyer! He was a lawyer before he hit the bottle, and it was coming out of rehab that caused him to rethink his life and enroll in rabbinical school. Anyway, he still has a law license and said he'd talk to the documentary guy. He said that first of all, I should not worry about anything found in people's wastebaskets, because that sort of thing should be fair game. He asked if the office had a paper shredder and I said yes, and he said I should specify that anything in the paper shredder is off limits. People can shred stuff they don't want to become public knowledge. I told him I could live with that if people knew I would be doing it, so that's okay. I'm still having trouble with the idea that I should be going through desks and stuff. The documentary guy is really pushing on this.

Thanks for the tip about Rachel; I'll switch her sweater color to pale green. I've already started on Danielle's; I got half a sleeve done on the bus this week. And many thanks for the almond cookie recipe. If I can make these anywhere near as good as Mom used to, the guys in the warehouse will propose to me en masse.

I ran into Phyllis in the Vance Refrigeration ladies' room again and we had a nice talk. She filled me in on the Michael/boss lady romance. Her name is Jan and Phyllis called her "Hilary Clinton" which I thought was a little disrespectful even though Phyllis didn't mean it that way. She says Jan is very beautiful, but she's a little stressed out. She was coming off a divorce and hooked up with Michael on a spur of the moment and now neither of them can let go, even though they are totally not right for each other. Phyllis said Michael told her and a couple of the other women in the office about some of the weird sex things Jan made him do (wow, I have got to spend more time in that office!) and they helped him break up with her--but then she got breast implants and now they are back together again. Some people don't know when to quit.

I'm going to another movie tonight with Georgia. I hope this one is better than the last one.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Okay, that's it, no more movie nights where Georgia gets to pick. Do NOT see "License to Wed"; it's the stupidest picture ever. Not even Robin Williams could save that mess.

Rabbi Aaron talked to the documentary director. They drew up an agreement and I signed it; I'll put in a copy for Adam to read but it's all in High Lawyer so if he understands it, he's a genius. The upshot is that I am working "on contract" for the documentary crew, and I have the same rights to interview and "research" the "subjects" (the people who work at Dunder-Mifflin) that the documentary crew does. Rabbi Aaron put in a clause that says the film crew must warn them that anything they leave in their trash cans, on their desks, or IN their desks is fair game from now on. I personally told the director I would not start looking in desks for another two weeks, to give everyone time to hide the bodies. (hah hah). Sam got a copy and shrugged and then talked to Rabbi Aaron for an hour in Hebrew over the phone and after that he said it was all fine with him. As long as the building gets cleaned.

So I am really grateful to Rabbi Aaron, who hasn't even charged me for this service. He says it's a mitzvah to help me out, and I owe him nothing. Except now I feel I have to bring cookies to every meeting. He loved the ginger snaps. Do you have Bubbe Lasky's recipe for her Pumpkin Spice cookies she used to make?

Enough of this boring stuff. I know you want the juicy gossip. None this week, although something very interesting happened. I was working in the kitchen and had to go into the supply closet. Guess what I found in there? A box of condoms. Now who is stashing condoms in the supply closet? Maybe I should start knocking before I go in, hey?

I've finished the sleeve for Danielle's sweater and have started on the other one.

Love,

Sunny

Oh my God! Just a quick note before the postman gets here (Pam says the mail goes out at four) to let you know I MET CREED. I mean really met him. He was arguing with Oscar (one of the accountants) over the last of the milk in the refrigerator. I brought pumpkin spice cookies today and Creed got the last one but Oscar had taken the last of the milk and Creed was trying to persuade Oscar to give it to him. Anyway, I went down to Vance Refrigeration and raided their refrigerator and brought Creed a glass of milk at his desk. He thanked me and was very nice although he called me "Suzy" instead of "Sunny". I grinned all over my face. He asked me what I did here and we chatted a bit. I can hardly remember what I said. No, I didn't ask for his autograph. It would have felt weird. I'm still all up in the air though. So groovy!

Gotta go.

Love,

Sunny aka Suzy

Dear Sis:

I know, I sound like a teenager. Sue me. Creed's a nice guy and he still has those piercing blue eyes so yeah, my heart still goes pitty pat. If you don't want me to write about him any more, though, I won't.

We had some fun in the Dunder-Mifflin warehouse today. The supervisor, Darryl, is a big black guy who is friends with another big black guy named Lonny. They were arguing about who had to take the last truck out on deliveries, because whoever did it would be working late on Friday and nobody wants that. To settle it, they tried flipping a coin--and both of them called the same. Then they tried Rock Paper Scissors and of course both of them got Paper (it's a paper company). Finally one of the other workers, a gal named Madge, suggested a dance-off. Before you could say "spit", Darryl had his iPod player out and they were hopping all over the warehouse, bustin' moves right and left.

Then wouldn't you know Andy from the office came down and insisted on singing (?) along with the music. Darryl and Lonny told Andy they were having a music contest and asked if he wanted to join in. Being the lunkhead that he is, Andy didn't ask what the "winner" would get, so he joined in. Darryl (who actually has a good voice, I've heard him) sang a terrible, terrible version of "My Humps". Lonny was laughing so hard he choked on his version of "Your Body Is a Wonderland". Then Andy gave us a god-awful version of "Sexyback" -- and of course all of us applauded wildly. Darryl pounded him on the back and told him what a great voice he had. Andy beamed and smiled and looked smug as all hell, especially as Darryl handed him the keys to the truck and the list of deliveries. It wasn't until Darryl and Lonny walked away that it finally dawned on Andy what he'd "won". Yeah, I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing too loud on that one. He's such a dick.

Oh, yeah, the pumpkin spice cookies are a hit. I tried some cream cheese frosting with them and I thought Darryl was going to cry, he liked them so much.

No word on who's using the condoms in the supply closet. When I go in there, I count to see if any have been used (and I check the trash cans), but so far no one has been practicing safe sex in my closet. Should I rig up a webcam? Heh heh.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Apology accepted. I will continue to write about Creed. Trust me, if you were here you'd see what I'm talking about. I'm just tongue-tied around that guy. But he does love those pumpkin spice cookies, so I'll keep 'em coming. Oh, and no, I have no idea if he's married. Why do you ask?

I've started on the back part of Danielle's sweater. Tell her not to grow between now and her birthday.

I've mentioned a girl before, named Kelly. She works in customer service, in the back of the building they call the annex. I went in to change a light bulb yesterday and she was in her cubicle, crying. I saw her Kleenex box was empty so I went to the supply closet and brought her a new box. She thanked me and then just started blubbering and talking, and she sounded really sad so I sat down and listened to her. And listened to her. And listened to her. It was like trying to drink from a firehose.

Basically, she's an airhead with a heart of gold. I don't think she has two brain cells to rub together but she is harmless, and just wants to be loved. She had a real thing going with this guy Ryan (see earlier letter, he's now the new "overlord" and is in New York) and he dumped her flat when he got the promotion. She was hoping he would propose and they would move to New York. This Ryan strikes me as a sharp operator; she says he was always cancelling dates, putting her off. Sounds like there was more on her side than his. But she's feeling very unhappy now and so, when she mentioned shopping, I told her she should try some retail therapy for a broken heart. I don't know how it happened, but I found myself agreeing to go to the mall with her this weekend! For crying out loud! But she says it will be fun and I don't have to buy anything, and truth to tell I have nothing better to do. So maybe I can call this "research" for my new boss the director and I won't have to go through Kelly's desk or something. Still uncomfortable with that idea.

You asked about Jim and Pam and Karen. So far, I can't see anything interesting happening there. Karen is still sulking, Jim is uncomfortable around her, Pam glows like a little light bulb. No cage matches yet, I'm afraid. From what I see in her trash can, Karen is updating her resume. I can't blame her. It appears that Jim just dumped her ass flat in New York and took up with Pam. I don't care how long he's had a crush on Pam (and I totally don't blame him there, she's a sweetheart), he should have shown more sensitivity. Men. I have a feeling something is going to break soon, though. I just hope it isn't Pam's heart.

Gotta go. Cookies in oven.

Love,

Sunny the Cookie Lady

Dear Sis:

Unbelievable. My stupid Parole Officer almost got me fired. He called Sam to check up on me and Sam told him about the Dunder Mifflin "contract" gig. He should not have said anything but I understand he didn't want to get in trouble. But PO went ballistic and threatened to haul me in for violating my parole. How? I wasn't breaking any laws or any rules? He's just a dickwad. Bless his heart, Rabbi Aaron called him up and spoke persuasively, or I'd be writing to you care of the County lockup. But it shook me up, I'll tell you.

No, I don't think Jim and Pam are the ones who stashed the condoms in the closet. For one thing, I can't believe shy little Pam would get it on in there. For another, I suspect a smoothie like Jim carries fourteen different brands with him everywhere he goes. I haven't seen this Jan show up yet, so the only ones left I can think of are Phyllis and her husband, and why use the supply closet when they can always just go in his office and lock the door? It's a mystery.

Kelly and I did go to the mall, but mostly we went to Jitters for coffee and then to a lingerie store. I sure won't be needing any of that fancy underwear from Victoria's Secret, even if I could afford it. I haven't dated since Josh died, and not likely to anytime soon. But it was fun watching her pick stuff out, except she'd tear up now and then about how Ryan would never see her in this or that "awesome" outfit, and thought to myself that if Ryan didn't appreciate this little girl he was an idiot. She's very sweet and simple, not a complicated person at all. I think she just wants to be loved and get married and have babies; she's not a career girl type like Karen at all. For her, this job is just a placeholder until she gets married. I know, it's an old fashioned attitude but hey, the world needs wives and mothers, too. I hope she meets some nice guy. Not Jim, hopefully.

Oh, and Kelly says that Jim used to date this girl who came to the office once to sell purses. Just walked right in and asked her out on fifteen minutes notice, right under Pam's very nose. I thought he had a crush on Pam then? But if so, what's with dating this purse girl, name of Katy? Who, according to Kelly, was "totally hot" and "awesome". I'm starting to wonder if there's a woman who crosses the Dunder-Mifflin threshold that Jim does NOT hit on. Besides me, thank God. I'd smack him.

Here's a check. I'm sending them monthly now, but it's the same amount all collected together. If and when I get this "bonus" thing from the documentary crew, I'll bump it up. Give the girls a hug from Aunt Sunny.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I met a fun new guy at Dunder-Mifflin today. His name is Steve and he services the vending machines. He was in the break room when I came in to sweep, and when I asked him to move the big machines so I could sweep behind them he was real nice about it. I was glad, because there was some nasty stuff back there. I'm starting to think there are mice here in the building. Little mousy turds keep turning up.

Anyway, Steve was waiting for me to finish sweeping and he told me about this hilarious stunt Jim pulled on Dwight (the idiot with the bobbleheads) last year. He paid Steve fifty bucks to let him (Jim) put everything on Dwight's desk into the vending machine. Dwight had to 'ransom' his own stapler and stuff out of the machine. I laughed so hard I had to sit down when he told me that. I have to admit that having a sense of humor makes Jim look a little better in my eyes.

No word on the condom watch yet. So far, the count remains the same. Maybe someone just forgot them in there?

Now for the part I know you're waiting for, you romantic. More Jim and Pam stuff. It's subtle, but important, I think. I was washing dishes in the kitchen, and Jim came in all friendly like and started making toasted cheese sandwiches. He loves those, and I didn't think anything of it until I noticed that he was setting out two plates. Two. I didn't say anything but kept washing dishes very slowly, and sure enough a minute later here comes Pam with two cans of soda. Two. He leaned down to say something to her and she giggled. She set down the cans and went into the vending machines and came out with -- you guessed it -- two bags of chips. And then Jim finished his sandwiches and piled them on the two plates and they left--but not for the office area or the break room. I saw them exit into the stairwell. A picnic in the stairwell? Hmm. Those romantic lovebirds.

I didn't tell the camera crew. I don't think I want to invade Jim and Pam's privacy. She looks like she's in love, and who wants to spoil that? I just hope he's not breaking her heart. I'll put asbestos in his Velveeta.

Oh, and Darryl and Lonny said something really nice about my cookies today. They said I should put them in the vending machine. I think that was nice, don't you?

Give the girls a hug. I hope they're enjoying their summer!

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I finally got a chance to meet some of the camera crew this week. There's this skinny guy named Leon who does most of the camera work. He's got sandy hair and a goatee, and he smokes. I found him outside the back door of the warehouse on break, smoking, and we started talking. Boy, I can tell you the camera guys have seen EVERYTHING. Since I'm technically working for the same company he is, Leon let me in on the hottest of the hottest gossip. And about your favorite duo! Grab some coffee.

Jim is in love with Pam, and has been for years! Wow! May before last, when the company had this gambling party night, Leon was in the crew van changing lenses (it was the last day of filming for the season). He saw Jim meet up with Pam, and then Jim just 'fessed up, out of the blue, in the middle of the parking lot! And she turned him down! What the heck? Sis, I can't figure these two out. One look at Pam, and you can tell she's over the moon about him. Her heart's in her eyes every time she looks at him. But she turned him down? (And according to Leon, this guy she was engaged to was no prize.)

It gets better. Leon went upstairs a little later to pack up the rest of his equipment, and so he was in the office when Pam came in to make a phone call. Jim walked in without a word and kissed her! She kissed him back! Leon said it was fairly passionate--her hand in his hair, his arms around her, lost in each other. Whoa! And then Jim wanted to know if Pam was still going to marry that guy and she said yes. He walked out and transferred to Connecticut! Leon said it was the most heartbreaking thing he's ever seen. He says if I make him a couple dozen of those pumpkin spice cookies, he might let me see the video. Nobody at Dunder-Mifflin knows about that footage, but it must be hot.

Sis, these people are all insane. Who needs hallucinogens when you have stuff like this?

The Condom Watch continues; no change. However, something a little ominous: I found an empty quart bottle of vodka in the trash in the ladies' room. Not a good sign. No idea whose it is, though.

Creed said good afternoon to me today. He called me "Sally".

Love,

Sunny or maybe Sally

Dear Sis:

Wow. You have to try these. I'm putting in the recipe for almond ginger shortbread cookies Georgia and I came up with. Sam loved them. He asked for some to take home. I also took some to work; the Vance Refrigeration guys ate most of them before I was even out of the door! Phyllis asked for the recipe, too. Oh, and her sweater for Bob Vance is almost finished; she gave me some advice on Danielle's sweater that will help me finish it faster. For some reason, one of the sleeves is longer than the other. Phyllis says she knows how to fix that.

I was putting the plate of cookies out in the break room and Creed came in. He usually doesn't come in that early but he looked almost like he was waiting for me. He asked me for a cookie and when I gave him one, well, don't laugh but it was like he deliberately held my hand. Then he smiled and thanked me and went back to his desk. I had to sit down and breathe awhile. I can hear you laughing now, you witch!

I saved some cookies for Leon and he told me he'd bring in a DVD of what he calls the Casino Night footage for me, the time I told you about Jim kissing Pam. I can't get over that. These two are like some kind of Marx Brothers romance, clumsy and sad and giddy. I guess maybe I was too hard on Jim. I thought he was being an asshat (that's what the kids say) with all those women, but from what Leon tells me it sounds like he was trying to drown out the sound of his own breaking heart. I'm glad those two are together at last.

Except I'm not sure they are, completely. Two nights ago I had to stay late to clean up a mess at Vance Refrigeration (I told you we have mice!), and as I came out to the parking lot it was late. I heard voices and looked over, and Karen and Jim were standing by his car. She was yelling something I couldn't hear, and then she started crying. It was angry-crying, sounded frustrated, and then she leaned into him and he hugged her. Are they getting back together? Is he going back to his old girlfriend after all? I don't know what to think. It would break Pam's heart if she saw that.

The director of the documentary wants to know what people throw out, so in accordance with my new "contract" I went through Kelly's trash can. I can report she's heavily into "diet" bars--she eats so many I think she's eating twice the calories Kevin does. I also found some pages torn out of an address book; one of them had "Ryan Howard" written on it, then crossed out, then written in again, then crossed out again. There were four different phone numbers, all crossed out. She's not over that boy. She threw out some perfectly good eyeliner and nail polish; maybe she thought the colors were wrong, but what a waste of money!

There is one condom missing from the condom box. Yeah, I know: who???

Anyway, that's all for now. Rehab is going fine, I'm still clean and sober, and Georgia and I are thinking about splitting the cost of a TV.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I thought you'd like those cookies. They're really good. Pam asked if she could put some on the reception desk for visitors and I said yes. Michael came out and ate all of them; I had to sweep crumbs out of the carpet all the way back to his office. I swear it's like working for a ten year old boy.

Oh, and I met Jan. She came in to pick up Michael for lunch one day and wow is she terrifying! She reminds me of a vice-principal at Scranton High I once worked with. If I recall, she got fired for spanking the students with a ruler. I think Jan is a spanker. Not a nurturing person at all. What does he see in her? Apart from the chest, I mean. Yes, he really is that shallow. Aren't most men?

Condom watch: 2 missing now. I'm thinking of setting a bear trap in the supply closet.

We definitely have mice. I don't want to call an exterminator because they might fumigate or something. Have to figure some other solution. Do you think it would be a good idea to borrow a cat?

I think I told you that there's a guy here named Stanley. I talked to him yesterday when I was trying to clean the blinds in the conference room. He's a kind of sour old soul, and I don't talk to him much, but this time he mentioned his daughter Melissa. I told him I used to be a teacher and he just opened up. Seems she's really struggling with school (she sounds like a spoiled brat to me), especially with math and science. He went on and on about how much it would cost to hire a tutor for her and how much he's paying for private school until finally I just offered to tutor her. I told him my Sundays were free, and if he could provide transportation to the public library or some place, I would see if I could help him. He actually smiled, which is something you never see Stanley do. Since I'm not charging for it, I don't think the Board of Education will ding me for teaching without a license, and I can call it community service. My PO will be thrilled.

Rabbi Aaron loves my almond ginger cookies. He says he's going to have to start a whole new 12 step program for them. Hah hah.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Oh my goodness. I wish I had a TV and a DVD player, so I could have seen the video footage Leon showed me at home. He brought it to work today and let me watch it on Stella's monitor (she's the editor--real nice lady with two kids in daycare). First I saw and heard Jim telling Pam he loved her, and it just broke my heart to see him CRYING when she more or less turned him down. Stella and I agreed that she looked mostly scared; Leon was making sarcastic remarks about her "teasing Jim for three years and then getting all surprised when sure enough he took the bait". I told Leon I wasn't going to make him any more cookies. Then Stella cued up (I think that's the phrase) the footage after that, when Jim walked in on Pam talking to her mom on the phone, about ten minutes after his confession. Oh, sis, my heart was in my mouth when he just walked right up and laid a world-class smooch on her. He was obviously putting everything he had into that kiss! And she kissed him back, there's no denying it. No protests, no hesitation, no shoving him away--and afterwards he said "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that!" and both Leon and Stella said, at the same time, "Yeah, we know!" I had to laugh, even though it's not a funny scene.

And then damn if that mousy little Pam, who I thought was such a sweetheart, didn't agree with him! She wanted him to kiss her, too! So what does she do but immediately confirm that yes, she's still marrying her fiancé! What the heck? I do not understand these people. Anyway, I'm doing a complete turnaround on these two: I am now very sympathetic to poor Jim, whose heart must have been shattered, and kind of mad at Pam for letting him suffer for so long.

I don't know what is going on with Karen and Jim. There's some kind of drama there. I found her crying in the ladies' room yesterday but as soon as she saw me she shook her head and splashed water on her face and walked out. It must hurt like hell to see your ex so happy with his new girlfriend. Oh, and that Andy guy, the one who thinks he's such a singer? I think he's been hitting on her. Apparently they know each other from Connecticut, but I don't think they ever dated. Anyhow, he's a creepy guy and I hope she has better sense.

I've started noticing that Creed comes to work in a different car every day. It's weird. They're mostly beat-up old junkers, some with doors that are different from the body color. Could he be living in a junkyard? Some days I don't see a car in the parking lot at all, but he's still there--does he ride the bus? Mystery. He complimented me on my almond-ginger cookies yesterday; he called me "Mamma". What?

Condom watch, day 30: no more missing condoms. I wonder if I could get fingerprints off the box and compare them to the other people in the office? I would ask Dwight how to do that, because he used to be a Lackawanna County Sheriff's Deputy (volunteer), but it might be his box. Scary thought.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree about the Jim/Pam thing. You had to have seen that footage to know how heartbreaking it was. I really actually teared up. At any rate, all is not well in Jim/Pam Land; Pam was looking troubled all day yesterday and today, and kept shooting glances at Karen. Yeah, I wondered if she was pregnant, too, and wouldn't that be a bitch for everyone involved? But when I went in to clean the ladies' room yesterday Karen was in there buying tampons out of the machine, so I don't think she's pregnant.

I had another chat with Phyllis, and found out that one of the accountants, Oscar, is gay. Apparently there was some scene last fall where Michael accidentally "outed" him, and -- get this -- actually kissed Oscar! Phyllis said it felt like someone had dipped her in snot to watch that. Wow. Ewww. I think she said that mostly because the idea of anybody being forcibly kissed by Michael is so repulsive. I should say that you can't tell Oscar's gay by looking at him--he's a low-key guy with a sense of humor, doesn't let anyone step on him but doesn't throw his weight around, either. Just a nice, normal guy--in fact, one of the nicer guys in the office. Oh, my goodness, it just occurred to me--could those condoms belong to Oscar? But who would he be using them with? Is he having it off with another guy in the office? Oh, please don't let it be Jim, it would break poor Pam's heart.

I met Billy Merchant today, the manager of the office park. He said they're going to be bringing in a special crew to clean all the carpets in the building with steam cleaners, but he'd like some help supervising them. He's in a wheelchair, and he gets around pretty well most places, but he'd like someone on the scene to help him out in case there's a problem in some area he can't go. I told him I'd talk to Sam; Billy said there would be a bonus in it for me, because it's extra work. Oh, and he loves my almond ginger cookies, too. What a nice man.

I found something interesting in Meredith's wastebasket today: a receipt from a liquor store for vodka. I guess now I know whose bottle that was I found in the trash the other day. I don't think I've told you about her. She's in her late forties, dyes her hair red, and dresses pretty nondescript. She could look really pretty if she fixed herself up; she's got a great smile. But she acts pretty depressed, and once I saw her nodding off on her keyboard. I thought it was lack of sleep, but maybe she's drinking at work? Bad sign. I get the vague feeling she's divorced--she never mentions a husband, but she does have two pictures of kids on her desk, so I think she's a mom.

I forgot to say that while I was talking to Leon and Stella about the Jim/Pam kiss footage, I also talked about the director wanting me to go through the desk drawers of the people in the office. They said it's no big deal, that they've filmed people (especially Dwight) going through other people's drawers all the time. I think they don't use that footage, from something Stella said, but anyway it happens. They said Andy actually forced Dwight to resign one time because he went through Dwight's stuff; I would love to hear more about that! Anyway, Leon and Stella say that the staff has all signed waivers that give the crew the right to "research" anything within the walls of Dunder-Mifflin, and that after three years (!) they know it by now.

Yes, please send more of Bubbe's cookie recipes. Georgia and I want to try some new ones. Give the girls a hug for me, and hug Adam too.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I may be in trouble, in a good way. The warehouse guys get real disappointed when I don't bring my cookies in. Day before yesterday, Darryl (the supervisor) said he's going to make a formal complaint! (I am fairly sure he is kidding, but with this bunch, you never know.) I kind of sassed him back and told him he should make it worth my while. Well you could have knocked me over with a feather when I came in to work today and they presented me with

A bag of flour

A bag of sugar

A pound of butter

A bottle of vanilla extract

A new cookie sheet

An oven mitt

Isn't that sweet? I think they all pitched in and bought them for me. Hurry up with those cookie recipes! I have a monster on my hands.

I took the opportunity to have a chat with Darryl. Seems he's best friends with Pam's old fiancé, who worked in the warehouse. I had assumed he quit because Pam broke up with him, and what could be worse than working in the same company as your ex, who is hanging out with her new love? I guess Karen could sympathize with that, huh? Anyway, I was wrong. Darryl says this guy, name of Roy, was fired because he attacked Jim! Wow. Jealous, much? I settled in to get all the juicy details, but there aren't any. There was no fight, no screaming and knocking over of chairs and desks. Of all people, Dwight saved the day by spraying everyone with pepper spray! I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but still, can I help it if I think of him as something of a spoilsport? Not that I want to see Jim get beat up, and from what Darryl was saying, this Roy could have smashed Jim into tiny pieces with one hand. But I like a good brawl now and then to clear the air. (Kidding!)

Today I was sweeping near Meredith's desk, which is right next to Creed's. He left his desk for a few minutes and I got a look at his screen. As usual, he was playing some kind of computer game. I don't know that I've ever seen him work. Must be a good job. No, I don't have his autograph yet. I'm waiting until he calls me by my real name. It's discouraging that after all these weeks he still doesn't know who I am. I did see one strange thing--a letter on his desk from the Mayor of Scranton. And not just some campaign thing; it mentioned a visit to a soup kitchen for the homeless. Is Creed doing charity work?

Condom watch, day 35: three gone now. Aha! I may put a mousetrap in that box and see who shows up with a sore finger (or worse) next day.

I ran into Meredith getting tea in the kitchen today; I was close enough that when she said "Hi" I smelled liquor on her breath. Oh, dear. I hope Michael doesn't know about this. Speaking of Michael, I heard him boasting to Jim about how he and Jan went to Atlantic City last weekend. He said he "aced" the video poker machines; he put $500 in and won $150! Jim tried to explain that no, Michael actually lost $350, but Michael didn't understand and thought Jim was just joking with him. Yikes. I'm glad that man is not in charge of my paycheck.

Tell Adam I'm sorry to hear about his mom and I hope she feels better soon. Are the girls reading Harry Potter yet? How do they like the new book?

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Wow, what great recipes from Bubbe L! I can't wait to try them out. Although I am starting to wish I didn't "have" to bake three dozen cookies every night before I go to bed. And no, I can't charge for them. I just can't bring myself to do that. Rabbi Aaron says that attendance at meeting has improved a lot since I started bringing them, though. I guess they're a mitzvah for me now! Hah hah.

Had a meeting with my parole officer, who grudgingly acknowledged that I "seem to be on the right track". Note to self: always bring cookies to meetings with PO from now on. They seem to soothe the savage beast.

Oh, I wish I could be there to help read Harry Potter to the girls. I envy you that. Benjy would have loved those books. There are some nights I almost wish I'd died too. Now, don't pick up the phone and call me in a panic, I'm fine. I have my work and my new friends at work and my meeting, and now I even have a spiritual counselor! Hah! But I will never forget Josh and Benjy and I will miss them every day and I just have to live with that. I know now that pills won't erase their memories or kill the pain, but I am learning (thanks to Rabbi Aaron's excellent and wise counsel) that I can live with it and learn to remember the good days. I still thank God for them every day, even if I had them too short a time.

Which brings me to the Jim and Pam thing. Makes me want to tear my hair sometimes, watching these two. Do they know how fragile life is? Do they know how swiftly time can move and people can change? Don't they know you can lose someone forever in the blink of an eye? I sometimes think I should take Pam to one side and drop a word in her ear, but really, who expects romance advice from the cleaning lady? So I console myself by sneaking out to the back dock where Stella parks the van and sits there watching the video feed, and we talk about Pam and what her choices are. I've learned a lot about Miss Pam Beesly from Stella. Pam 'dated' Roy, her ex-fiancé, for nearly ten years, and was engaged for more than three! They were living together for the last several years, and from what Stella tells me, there was no (you should pardon the expression) hanky-Pamky going on with anyone else. So that means Jim is only the second boyfriend she's ever had--and she is in her mid-twenties. Oh, brother. I hope he's gentle with her--and I mean that emotionally not sexually. She's going to be massively insecure. See what I mean? I keep wanting to play auntie to those two, and it's totally none of my beeswax.

This Saturday I'm going in to help supervise the carpet cleaning crew with Billy Merchant. I'll try out one of the new cookie recipes on them. Give the girls my love. I wonder if I can contrive a Harry Potter cookie for them? What would be Potter-ish? Pumpkin spice? Dragonwing Delights?

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Thanks for bearing with my long silence. I told you on the phone I'd fill you in on all the details. Here goes.

Like I said, I got asked to come in Saturday before last to help supervise the carpet cleaning crew. Billy Merchant (the building manager) promised me a bonus for my help. Sam okayed it, so I got up extra early to catch the bus (which runs on a reduced schedule on Saturday). Got to the building at 8:00, right on time. No one was there. I was locked out, and it was raining, so I sat under a tree in the back hoping someone would show up soon. Billy finally showed up around 9:30, at which point I was soaked to the bone.

I know, I should have gone home. But I didn't. I didn't want to miss out on that bonus; I need the money. The cleaning crew was on the first floor doing Vance Refrigeration and Darryl's office in the Dunder Mifflin warehouse. I grabbed a couple of towels from the locker room in the warehouse, borrowed Lonny's extra work shirt and went upstairs to the Dunder Mifflin offices, which I knew would be empty. I changed out of my wet clothes in the ladies' room and toweled off, and then realized I had seen a jumpsuit in the supply closet. I wrapped a towel around myself and stepped out to the supply closet, which is between the men's and ladies' rooms. Like I said, I thought the place was empty.

It wasn't. I ran smack into a tall, balding guy with a pot belly I'd never seen before. He leered at me, said something rude, and grabbed me. I kicked him in the shin (which hurt like hell, barefoot) and dodged into the supply closet. There's no way to lock that door, so I put the rolling mop bucket up against it and wedged it with a trash barrel. I knew it wouldn't hold very long, but I was hoping I could get into that jumpsuit and grab a mop to defend myself with (I didn't spend six months in stir for nothing, I guess). I was struggling into the jumpsuit when the door was shoved open, and this tall guy comes in. He about filled up the room, and I have to tell you I was scared, Sis. He had a mean look in his eye. I was shoving stuff at him, trying to get him off balance, and the box of condoms hit the floor at his feet. He grinned, picked them up, and said something about being glad he'd stashed them here. So I guess we know whose condoms those were.

Anyway, he had me backed up against the wall, half in and half out of this too-small jumpsuit, and I was looking around for a mop or something to hit him with. He was reaching for me when just then the door opened and Creed Bratton stepped in! I was astonished, but this other fellow just frowned. Creed smiled pleasantly at both of us, then turned to face the (closed) door. The tall guy and I were just looking at the back of his head, and then Creed turned around with a frown and said, "What's wrong with this elevator? It isn't moving." I couldn't help it—whether it was nervous tension or whatever, I laughed (maybe a little hysterically). The tall man cussed at Creed (really rude language) and shoved past him, knocking Creed back against the wall. Somehow their feet got tangled up, and the tall guy went flying, bounced off the kitchen counter across from the door to the supply closet, and smacked into the wall.

I finished stuffing myself into the jumpsuit (which turned out to belong to someone named Devon) and hurried out. Creed was casually leaning against the wall next to the door of the supply closet, watching this tall fellow pull himself up and cuss a blue streak. I smelled liquor on his breath, and he started to cuss me out. I gave him back as good as he got and he looked a little surprised. But then I told him I was calling the cops and he got all pale and started bellowing about how it was all a misunderstanding. I told him I didn't misunderstand someone grabbing my breast and groping me in a dark closet, and headed past him for the phones to call the police.

He tried to follow me, alternately yelling and pleading, but somehow Creed kept getting between him and me, until finally the tall guy just turned and practically ran out the door. When he was gone, I sat down at Pam's desk, shaking like a leaf. Creed brought me a glass of water and told me to drink it straight down, it was 100 proof. I am not sure if he was kidding or not. I get the feeling, especially that day, that some of Creed's goofiness is an act. Anyway, he told me the tall guy who assaulted me was called Todd Packer, and he had been working as a salesman at Dunder Mifflin as long as Creed had. I thanked Creed for coming to my rescue and he kind of looked blank and wondered why I hadn't just pulled the emergency cord to stop the train.

Anyway, I was pretty shaken, crying, and didn't know whether to call the cops or not. I thought I ought to, to get the bastard thrown in jail, but Creed said this Todd was tight with Michael Scott. I don't want to get the boss of the place I clean mad at me; I can't afford to lose this job. So in the end I didn't file any charges against him. I didn't have any proof, anyway, and I really don't think it would do any good to call Creed as a witness to anything. He's a sweet guy but he doesn't live in the real world. A defense attorney would take him apart.

At that point, Billy Merchant came wheeling in, looking for me, and I did tell him what had happened. He knows Packer and he got mad as hell. I told him I wasn't filing charges, and he agreed with me that Michael Scott doesn't have the sense that God gave a goose when it comes to "his people", and would probably interfere with any investigation, so I persuaded him to let it drop. However, Billy said he was going to keep an eye on Todd Packer and might bar his car from the lot or something. From the gleam in Billy's eye, I got the feeling that something very expensive is going to happen to Packer's Corvette (that's what he drives, Billy said). Anyway, Billy apologized all to hell and gone for the whole thing, even though it wasn't his fault. Somewhere in all of this conversation, Creed disappeared, and when I went to find him to thank him again I couldn't find him. Billy gave me cab money to get home, told me he would still pay me the bonus money for showing up, and that he'd re-schedule some of the carpet cleaning for another time so I could actually wind up earning two bonuses.

But I gotta say, I was really scared by that encounter. You hear stories about things that go on after hours, and in the cleaning business you hear stories about women getting raped in offices after hours. I should have listened. I wish I wasn't barred from carrying a weapon. One of the women in the cleaning company, Selma, told me she always carries a spray bottle of ammonia to spray in the eyes of someone who might attack her. I might start doing that. Maybe I should talk to Dwight Schrute, who seems to know something about self defense? Or I might put my chemistry degree to work and figure out a way to concoct Mace out of household bleach. Kidding!

Anyway, no harm done except to my pride and sense of security. However, thanks to the shock and being completely soaked in the rain, I came down with one hell of a cold. I've been flat on my back most of this week, and though Sam was really nice about it I only had two sick days, so the other days have been time off without pay. So it turns out that bonus from Billy just went to make up for the pay I lost when I lost a week of work. Will it sound too self-pitying if I say I never catch a break?

Georgia and I did some cookie experiments, though. Check out this recipe for rose cookies. I think it's a winner.

Hug the girls for Aunt Sunny and tell them I'll call soon. Are they dreading back-to-school? I miss Septembers. It was always fun that first week when the kids came to class still hyped up from the summer break, with new clothes and new pencils, not yet disillusioned.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Today was my first day back at work since The Incident. I was glad to see that apparently nobody was the wiser. I didn't want people looking at me funny or talking about me behind my back. I brought in a couple dozen of the new rose cookies, and I thought the Vance Refrigeration guys were going to come to blows over them. Pam and Phyllis both cornered me to get the recipe, but I'm not giving it out just yet. By the way, you can leave off the rose leaves at the end of the recipe if you want; Georgia used pink icing to make little rose buds on the top and even the men liked them.

I put three rose cookies on a plate special for Creed and left them on his desk. He didn't look up from his solitaire game.

I talked to Meredith, the lady with the liquor bottles. She was in the break room holding her head in her hands (I think she had a hangover). I just made chit chat about her kids (she has a boy and a girl; the girl lives with her dad, and it seems that Meredith has been divorced twice). Anyway, she's worried about her job because she's been falling behind in fulfillment orders. Her boy Jake had problems all year and had to go to summer school, but he's been skipping class and the school keeps calling her to remind her that he'll be flunked if he doesn't show up. I told her I've been tutoring Stanley's daughter Melissa, and offered to tutor this Jake kid. If he's like I think he is, I've got his number. I 've handled smart-ass kids from "broken" homes before—he needs more attention and more discipline, and I think his alcoholic mom isn't giving him that. So I left Meredith a couple of cookies and my phone number in case she wants some help. I'd hate to see a kid go wrong just because nobody was there to help him. But maybe I shouldn't interfere; it's none of my business, and it's not like I don't have my own troubles. What do you think, Sis?

Tell Adam he's a sweetheart to get so riled up over The Incident. But really, it's over, and I'm more wary and no harm was really done. He does NOT need to drive up to Scranton to rescue me, bless his heart. But you and Adam might want to think about self-defense classes for the girls.

Oh, and Rabbi Aaron was so mad when I talked about The Incident in meeting that I had to hang onto his arm to keep him from calling the cops right there. Nice to know there are nice men in the world. Maybe Adam and Rabbi Aaron should get together and beat drums or eat raw meat on a stick.

My love to the girls!

Love,

Sunny

PS Do you think orange water could substitute for rosewater in the cookie recipe? How about lavender? We could invent a whole new line of flower cookies.

PPS No, I have no idea what Creed was doing in the office on a weekend. Now that you mention it, that was a little strange, wasn't it?

Dear Sis:

I am so sorry

Please forgive

I can't tell you

It's been a hell of a

Obviously, I'm having trouble getting started here. Bear with me.

First, thanks for the phone call. It meant a lot. Sorry about all the yelling in the background; jail is not a quiet place.

Second, tell Adam I'll pay you guys back for the bail money. Again.

Third, you wanted to know if I got back into my place. The answer is yes, the owner of the apartment building said I have a valid lease and I'm all paid up, so Georgia can't lock me out. He talked to her and she grudgingly let me back in. I spend most of my time in my room.

Fourth, yes, Sam fired me, but re-hired me when Dwight from Dunder-Mifflin conducted an "investigation" into my absence and determined that I'd been abducted. He nagged Sam so much about my "disappearance" that Sam actually re-hired me. He had not wanted to fire me anyway, it was just company policy, and he said the three days I wasn't at work were hell because nobody knows the ins and outs of that building like I do. So for now, I still have a job.

I'll write again soon. Meeting with Rabbi Aaron and the group tonight.

Tell the girls Aunt Sunny still loves them, even if she does screw up from time to time.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I think my hands have stopped shaking enough to write now, and anyway you know I prefer letters to phone calls. I think better with a pen in my hand.

Yeah, I was stupid. I'm not making excuses for myself, but I do think Jim and Pam had something to do with my going off the rails. The day before, I had been taking some of the trash out. The dumpsters are behind the building, and usually the camera crew parks their vans there to be out of their own way when filming the front of the building. But like I said in my phone call, the crew is off for the summer. So that part of the lot is deserted now. As I was pushing the trash cart out the back door, I heard someone giggling. I stopped and looked around the corner of the dumpsters and saw them.

There's an oak tree in the back, with branches that bend down close to the ground. Someone put a picnic table back there for employee lunches, though I have never seen anyone eating there. Well that day, Jim and Pam were sitting on the picnic table sharing a soda and laughing together. And while I was watching, Jim took the can out of Pam's hands and put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her a good long smooch. She kissed him back pretty good, too, and their hands were just everywhere. So obviously, so deeply in love. My eyes just filled up with tears because Josh used to do the same thing with me. I stood there sniffling, and then I heard the two of them laughing again, and I was reminded even more of when Josh and I used to laugh.

Yeah, I know I have no excuse, but I was so depressed and unhappy at being reminded of how much I miss Josh. And Benjy, of course, but there aren't any kids around the Slough street building, so I don't get reminded of them as much.

So anyway, when I woke up the next morning and realized what day it was, and that two years ago I'd had a husband and a son, at least until the middle of that afternoon, well, I came unglued. I should have called you, but to tell the truth I was afraid one of the girls would answer the phone and I just could not hear the voice of a child just then. I know that sounds weird. Please don't take it the wrong way, you know I love your girls as much as if they were my own. But losing Josh and Benjy, well it's just too much sometimes. I don't know that it's any better diving into a bottle of booze than a bottle of pills, but at least this time I didn't break any laws. Just my bad luck my parole officer came calling that day and found me passed out on the floor.

Sam says that company policy is to terminate anyone arrested for drug abuse, even if it's not on company time. After Rabbi Aaron (and Dwight, of all people) talked to him, he reinstated me because alcohol is not a controlled substance, and thus narrowly escapes the company's definition. He joked that he was really cutting me some slack because of the cookies. I half believed him.

I don't know what to do. Life goes along so nice and peaceful, and then something as innocent as two lovers kissing under a tree plunges me into despair. I don't know how to get through it. Rabbi Aaron has been (you should pardon the expression) a godsend. Very comforting and helpful, and a regular Lion of Judah when it came to getting me sprung from the pokey.

By the way, one of the women in my group is getting married. She asked if I would bake 100 rose cookies for her wedding reception. What price should I quote her?

Oh, and Georgia and I are friends again. I promised to pay her back for the booze I drank, and she promised not to have any in the apartment.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

In all the craziness excitement of last week, I forgot to tell you that Creed came to see me while I was in jail. I went out to the visiting room expecting to see a lawyer or Rabbi Aaron or something, but there he was! We sat on opposite sides of the table, not really talking, not really looking at one another. He didn't have much to say. He offered to 'spring' me, but I don't think he meant it. He brought me a box of rubber bands, a book about landscaping, and half a candy bar. The guards took the rubber bands but let me keep the rest.

My first day back at work was all kinds of awkward. Bob and Phyllis Vance were as nice as could be, but Lonny in the Dunder Mifflin warehouse made some nasty crack, and Angela in accounting glared at me all day long. Pam was very sweet and sympathetic, though, and Toby (the HR guy) could not have been nicer. I tried to thank Creed for his visit, but he stared right through me. I truly do not know if the man is mad or putting on a hell of an act. Dwight acted as though he had personally rehabilitated Jack the Ripper, and tried to convince Michael to call a meeting in the conference room so I could talk about how he rescued me from a life of crime. Thank God Jim stepped in and distracted both of them by asking them which one had the higher lifetime sales average. I think they're still arguing over that.

I finished Danielle's sweater. I'm sending it in another package. I've already started the one for Rachel.

I found a half-price coupon for Burger King in the trash. Maybe the girls would like a treat. I know it isn't all that nutritious, but it is filling. Is Adam still shunning me? Tell him that Dwight does that from time to time.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Wow. Just when I think I have that madhouse at Dunder-Mifflin figured out, there's a new wrinkle. Last night after I left at 6:00, I realized I'd left my umbrella in the supply closet in Dunder-Mifflin. I let myself back in with my key, and everything was quiet. (Yes, I look carefully for Todd Packer, but I haven't seen him since That Day.) So, again being quiet, I open the door to the supply closet and find Dwight and Angela making out like crazy. Not just making out, mind you, but with her legs around his waist and the two of them against the wall. I'll let you figure the rest out. Anyway, I was so shocked I just stood there staring. Dwight snarled at me and I swear to God Angela actually hissed like a cat. Scary. I shut the door and got out of there.

I'm a little afraid to go back there. Dwight carries weapons.

Good news from Stanley. Remember I told you I was tutoring his daughter Melissa? She got a B+ on her last math test, and Stanley actually smiled at me. Too bad that guy is not in charge of my paycheck.

I'm glad the sweater arrived in good condition. I'll try to finish Rachel's faster. Thanks for the kind words from Adam.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I'm exhausted, so this will be quick. Just spent the entire weekend baking cookies. I tried that idea you suggested about using violet essence, and the result was spectacular. One of my neighbor ladies actually knocked on my door asking what that fabulous smell was. Of course I gave her some. I'll take these violet cookies in to work tomorrow and see how they go over.

My parole officer called yesterday; the DA is dropping all charges. I think Rabbi Aaron has been talking to people. I owe that man so much.

Oh, and something happened that I don't know whether to laugh or cry over. I was taking the trash out yesterday, earlier than usual. (No one kissing under the oak tree this time, thank goodness.) Since it was early, the sun was casting the shadow of the building across the back of the parking lot. I noticed something moving—flapping, in fact—and looked up. There was a clothesline with clothes on it on the roof! The wind was blowing harder than usual or the clothes would not have been visible, but there they were! I went back inside and found the roof access and went up, and found a campsite! There's a bedroll and a little hibachi grill and a little tarp set up as shelter from the rain. Several boxes (I didn't look in them) and a mop pail that went missing last month, which someone seems to have been using to wash clothes. I looked at the clothes and they were all men's T-shirts and shirts. I began to suspect whose stuff it was when I found some sheet music under the bedroll.

I went straight downstairs and walked right up to Creed and told him to meet me in the break room. I was quiet about it, but Meredith (the drinker) looked at us pretty strangely as we left. In the break room I asked him if he was living on the roof, and he said, "Sometimes." Turns out he sometimes sleeps under his desk, and some nights he puts up at a local homeless shelter. But I know he has an address, because I've seen it on his paychecks. I don't understand. However, Creed seemed to think it was a big thing, so he bribed me—he gave me tickets to the Labor Day celebration in Nay Aug Park. He says he's playing in one of the venues there, so here's my chance to hear Creed live and in person! Woo.

Can you believe this guy? I know he sounds weirder and weirder all the time, but I sense that underneath he's really a nice guy. Maybe his brains were fried in the Sixties or something, but fundamentally I think he's okay.

Oh, and no I was not hallucinating: that really was Dwight and Angela in the supply closet. I can hardly believe it myself. Weird. You never know about people, do you?

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

A quick note during my break. The violet cookies are such a hit I think Rabbi Aaron is going to propose. Kidding! But seriously, they were gone in five minutes, and I think Pam Beesly is going to offer me her firstborn for the recipe. I think we have a winner, Sis! For contrast, tomorrow I'm going to bring in raisin oatmeal cookies just to bring everyone back down to earth.

Creed called me "Sunny" today. I'm pretty sure it was accidental.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

The concert was great! I went to the fair yesterday, and it was a gorgeous day. Very bright and fair. Georgia and I baked a hundred cookies on Saturday for a charity booth (the children's wing of the hospital), and they sold out in half an hour. I saved a couple (the violet ones) for Creed, and sure enough I finally heard him. They had a couple of stages there, so it was a little hard to hear, but when I heard the opening chords of "Temptation Eyes" I knew it was him and snaked my way through the crowd.

He's very different when he's on stage. He seems to be very self-assured, very together. I think he only really focuses on the world from behind a microphone. I don't know, maybe I'm projecting. Anyway, I ran into a guy from my rehab group and his wife, and we shouted and applauded and hooted whenever there was a break in the music. Creed glanced over and saw me and nodded, and actually smiled! Woo! So happy. Yes, I'm a fangirl, as Rachel would say.

His eyes are very blue.

Oh, and tell Rachel I've finished everything but her left sleeve; I'll have it for her next week.

The camera crew comes back week after next, so I guess I should go get my hair cut. Gotta look good for my fans. Hah.

Georgia announced that she is moving out at the end of the month. Her sister's baby is very sick and she needs Georgia to help take care of it. Guess I'd better start looking for a roommate. This sucks.

Give the girls a hug.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

More drama from the Jan and Michael front. She moved into his condo over the summer, and now it seems she is redecorating. She tried to get Michael to get rid of his naughty toy collection, and when they fought about it he packed up a box and brought them to the office. Now he has an office full of toys that, well, let's just say you can't take clients, let alone children, into Michael's office any more. They're either doing obscene things or saying obscene things. Angela in accounting refuses to go into Michael's office, but Kevin won't stay out of it. Every time Michael leaves the office, Kevin is in there making the Hot Daddy doll say "Gimme some hot lovin'" or some such stupid thing. It annoys the hell out of Jim, who sits closest to Michael's office; I saw him break two pencils yesterday.

Yes, Jim and Pam are still going strong. When they look at one another the air hums. You are such a romantic. Which is okay, because I am, too. What's funny is that some people are so oblivious; I don't think Kevin or Creed or Meredith has actually figured out that Jim and Pam are together. And definitely Andy hasn't--he tried to ask Pam out the other day. Poor girl.

Karen has finally left. I don't know what happened there. Two Mondays ago she was there, and then this Monday she wasn't, and her desk was bare. I asked Phyllis if Karen was sick (Phyllis knows all the gossip) and Phyllis just made a tight line with her mouth, shot a look at Jim, and said Karen wouldn't be back. Sure would like to know what that drama is all about!

Give my love to the girls. How's Mom?

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

You are so not going to believe this. Creed has asked me out! For real! I was finishing up the break room yesterday (I put some mousetraps behind the vending machines, but so far the little devils are smarter than I am), and he came in. I thought he was getting a drink out of the machine, but he just stared at me. Did I mention he has very blue eyes? Anyway, after a few moments he asked where he could pick me up. I said, "What?" and he said he could get his hands on a car Friday night and asked me again where he should pick me up. I was very confused, and it took awhile for it to dawn on me that he was asking me out! Only backwards, asking first when he could pick me up, and then working his way back to "Do you want to go to Burning Man?" Of course I said I'd love to, but Burning Man is not only held in California, it's over for this year! So he shrugged and said he and his buddies were going to hold their own Burning Man next weekend and would I come? I said yes.

Now I know you're going to get all knotted up over this, but really, it isn't what you think. I think he's just a nice guy (under all the weird) and he's being a nice guy. Nothing pervy or sleazy. Forget what I told you about him posting that picture of a woman's breast on his monitor--that was an office politics thing.

Also, when it rains, it pours. Rabbi Aaron asked me to go for coffee last night. I said no, 'cause he's my counselor and it wouldn't be right. He was nice about it, very understanding, and laughed, but I could see he was disappointed. I asked him to help me find a new roommate and he said he'd ask around.

All of Michael's toys disappeared mysteriously from his office on Friday. He assigned Dwight to launch an "investigation", and Dwight has decided that Andy is behind it. I caught Jim and Pam exchanging a look and I don't think Andy had anything to do with the toys disappearing. I wonder if they're holding the toys for ransom; Phyllis told me Jim once did that with Dwight's bobbleheads.

I'll fill you in later. Gotta go.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

My date with Creed was a lot of fun! First, he picked me up (half an hour late) in a hearse. Yes, an actual hearse. It smelled like flowers and formaldehyde, but it was a car and it worked. He drives strangely--he said he spent many years in Europe and Israel so he sometimes forgets which side of the road to drive on. Next time, I will do the driving. I want to live.

The "Burning Man" turned out to be a party on the beach at Lake Wallenpaupack. We got there as the sun was going down. I was not sure what to make of Creed's friends: there were three teenagers, an old man with long hair and a tie-dye T-shirt, two women about my age who appeared to be lovers, and several guys Creed's age. At first I thought they were homeless, but they were very clean, and as they sat around talking it was clear that they all have jobs and homes. I think they're just veterans of the sixties--one of them is an accountant and another one works for the Mayor's office. God knows what they were doing there. Anyway, they had built this straw and balsa wood Man about ten feet high, and there was a fire going. Creed turns out to be a very good camp cook; he says he spent a lot of time living in the woods between 1990 and 1994. Anyway, he broiled some fish, and roasted corn in the embers in foil wrap (delicious!) and had several watermelons to share. Lots of fun. After we ate, the guys and one of the women brought out instruments and Creed pulled out a guitar and we sat around singing Sixties songs. Those of us who didn't have instruments picked up sticks and pans and whatever and formed the rhythm section. The teenagers sang along to the Beatles and Elvis stuff.

One of the women was playing a flute; turns out she teaches music at the high school. We got to talking about teaching and she was surprised that I couldn't get a job teaching. I told her about my legal problems, and she said there might be a way to get my license back, at least for private schools. I don't have much hope, but she was nice and I gave her my number. It would be great to be able to teach again.

After awhile, the booze came out and people were passing around bottles of wine. The flute lady and I kept an eye on the teenagers, who wanted some wine but we made sure they stuck to soda. After awhile they left to go find another party, and it was just us old folks. One guy started a story about the Selma march (he was in Ralph Abernathy's civil rights group), and another one talked about protesting the Iraq war, and we just passed the bottle around and looked at the stars and laughed a lot. Around midnight someone finally lit the Man, and we all sang "Light My Fire" by the Doors. Creed told a funny story about Jim Morrison and some cop in Florida, and then we danced some more. I was pretty relaxed by then, and wound up dancing with Creed. I can't say I've ever slow-danced with a rock star. Hah. I'll say this, Sis, the shoulders under those flannel shirts are still very good. J

Everyone was too drunk to drive home, so I slept in the back of the hearse. I think Creed slept on the roof. He drove me home in the morning, as chipper as can be. I have to say, it was a wonderful date, but what do we do for an encore?

I'm sending Rachel's sweater with this. Be sure to have her try it on, and if it needs adjustment, I'll fix it.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

As if the soap opera at Dunder Mifflin isn't weird enough, guess what now? Kelly (the Indian girl with the non-stop mouth) is making a play for Dwight! I couldn't believe it when I saw it, but she started flirting and hanging out around his desk all Monday and Tuesday. Since she normally spends all her time in the annex, it was pretty conspicuous. Angela was steaming mad; if looks could kill, Kelly would have gone up in flames. Kelly kept making eyes at Dwight (who is oblivious) and giggling at him and calling him cute names. I think she's lost her mind. Jim and Pam love it; they are doing everything they can to encourage her. I don't know if that's a good idea; Kelly is a nice girl, underneath all the chatter, and deserves better than Dwight.

Michael isn't helping. Apparently he and Jan are hot again. She came to the office the other day to bring him lunch, and Michael made a big deal out of closing the blinds to his office and loudly locking his door. We heard a lot of giggling and moaning coming out of his office. Pam and Jim exchanged horrified looks and quickly found excuses to head to the warehouse. Dwight worked on, oblivious, and Andy and Kevin exchanged snickers until Angela hissed at them to shut up.

Anyway, enough stalling. I have some news, and I don't think you'll approve, but here it is. I went up on the roof after work and found Creed up there, packing his things. He said the nights are starting to get cold again, and he can't sleep in the open much longer. He said he doesn't have a home, that he'll sleep under his desk like always. So I asked him if he'd like to move into my place and take over Georgia's half of the lease. He said he'd think about it. He called me "Sunny", too.

Now, I know what you're going to say. He's a stranger, he's weird, etc. It's true I don't know him all that well, but I knew Georgia even less well when we agreed to room together. And I think Creed will be all right. The only thing that worries me is the possibility that he's into drugs, and I can't have a roommate who's into drugs. I'll talk to him about it.

Thanks for letting me know about Mom's teeth. I hope her dentist can fix that tooth soon. Remember how she always used clove oil on our toothaches? Yech.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Yeah, I know it's been a while. Sorry for the long gap. So much has been happening.

First of all, yes, Georgia and I have gone into the cookie business. Tell Adam I appreciate his offer, but Rabbi Aaron has drawn up some partnership papers for us and we're happy with them. Georgia says her sister will lend us some startup money, and we can use the big kitchen in the homeless kitchen until we can rent a place of our own, thanks to Rabbi Aaron. Our first job will be baking nearly a thousand cookies for Sandra, the lady from my rehab group who's getting married. We've named the company "Sunny's Sweets", which was actually Georgia's idea. I didn't want to leave her name off the company, but she said there were too many problems with rhyming her name, or having people think we were a regional company, so anyway she declined to have her name on the masthead, so to speak. Toby at Dunder Mifflin has asked for a price sheet for his little girl's birthday party, and Phyllis wants to know if we make holiday cookies. We're off! But it means so much work, which is why I have so little time to write.

Yes, I am staying on as the cleaning person at the Slough Street building for now, because the cookie business isn't going to make money for a long time, not until after we've established ourselves.

Second, yes, Creed has moved in--so to speak. I hardly ever see him. He's out with his friends, or playing at bars, or working at the homeless shelter a lot. He gets phone calls from the mayor's office and a bunch of charities, so I am not really sure how he spends all his spare time. And I got a very strange call from someone who said he was Creed's manager, and said a music distributor is interested in picking up Creed's latest CDs. So I'm not sure how much longer he is going to be here.

And yes, we're just friends. For now. Shut up. He's a nice guy, he hasn't made any moves on me, and we get along swell. If things heat up from there, well, hey, there are worse things than having a rock star in the family.

Oh, and here's that autographed album cover you wanted. Since you don't read Creed's very odd handwriting, I'll translate it for you: To Sunny and Sis, rock on, Creed. Nice. Anyway, you finally have your album cover, so be happy. J

Oh, and Kelly is no longer flirting with Dwight. Seems she's got a crush on Andy now. That girl needs a life really really bad. Jan moved out of Michael's condo. For a whole week. She's back now, and his life is worse than ever. Jim and Pam are making the most of it. I saw them in the break room the other day, heads together over something. When they left, I saw that they were carrying travel brochures. A joint vacation? Or honeymoon plans? I'll let you know when I do.

Anyway, give the girls and Adam my love. I'll be meeting with Rabbi Aaron's group over Rosh Hashanah--I promised him some apple spice cookies. It looks like the coming New Year will be a good one for me. Let's hope so.

L'shana tova!

Love,

Sunny