I needed to pay the rent, and I was lucky to get this job. The pay is really pretty decent for simple work. The people here are crazy, I suppose, but I have plenty of time to do other things (I could play Solitaire professionally at this point) and really, how hard is it to answer a phone? If I am sure of anything, it is that I have a nice voice. I am actually a very good receptionist. Some days, though, I just get so frustrated- how long does it take to get your big break in this town? I should be singing on Broadway, making sweet music, using my gift to move people. Instead, I’m wasting it, little by little, call by call. It’s like the refrain is wearing a groove in my throat: “Dunder Mifflin, this is Grace,” over and over, forever.

Still, it’s not a horrible place, and the benefits are good. I never have to work overtime or weekends, so I have time for my voice lessons, and I can slip out for long lunches or take personal days for auditions. And some days…well, some days, things around here get downright interesting.

We had one of those “interesting” days about…oh, about a month and a half ago, I guess. It started out normal enough. My boss, David, came in, called me “Amazing Grace,” as usual (which…ugh), and then he let me know that the final three applicants for the new position would be coming in. I think I sprained something trying not to roll my eyes. The “new position” was really Jan’s job, and everybody in the building had known it for two weeks or more. Heck, I think Purdeep, the hot dog vendor on the street outside, had known about it for at least ten days.

Now, I like Jan. She’s a little abrupt, but always very polite and professional. Something about her always made me feel a little sorry for her, too, in a way that I couldn’t ever figure out until I found out about her divorce. She just tries so hard to seem all together that you can sort of sense that she’s not. I mean, that’s how she used to be. Lately, the “not all together” stuff has been a lot easier to see. No one was really surprised to hear that they were considering letting her go. I almost warned her, though. I mean, who wants to be blindsided like that? And like I said, I like Jan. But then she came back from her vacation with this insane boob job, and I realized that this was a kind of crazy I didn’t want any part of.

Oh, I guess I should back up a little bit. See, everybody knew that Jan had been sleeping with Michael Scott, the manager down in our Scranton branch. I’ve met Michael several times over the years- handsome, very friendly, and certifiably insane. I mean, just...you know how some people are really book smart but have no social skills or common sense? That’s Michael without the book smart part. Somehow, though, his branch always makes its numbers, so they keep him around. I’ve heard stories about him, like he’s some sort of Rainman when it comes to sales- somehow he just knows how to get people to buy stuff. I figure they must feel sorry for him, or just buy stuff so he’ll go away.

 Like I said, though, Michael’s very handsome in a middle-management white dude way, and he’s a nice enough guy, so I could sort of understand Jan going there for some post-divorce rebounding. Not a smart move career-wise, since he reports to her, but understandable. But things got weird quick. Suddenly Jan was never around and her work was never done. She was sometimes all perky and cheerful, and other days downright bitchy. That went on for a few weeks, and then…I could not believe it, but apparently Michael broke up with Jan. Michael Scott, who is, like, the epitome of the “40-year-old virgin” stereotype, dumped gorgeous, successful Jan Levinson. The break room was buzzing, that’s for sure.

After the break-up, Jan moped around the office for a while, and that’s when the talk of her getting fired started. I thought it would die down, though, when she took a few days off. I figured she’d come back from her vacation all calmed down, back to her normal, professional demeanor. Instead, she came back looking like she’d been attacked by Pamela Anderson’s doctor in a dark alley. This wasn’t a rebound; this was psychosis.

OK, so where was I? Right, OK, so David told me that the final people were coming to apply for Jan’s job. I already knew that; it was in my appointment calendar. He left the lobby just before Jan came in. Again, I really was tempted to warn her- especially since her weird employee-slash-ex (or so I thought) was one of the applicants for her job. I opened my mouth, and then I caught a glimpse of something in her eye- like a minor chord across my nerves- and I knew that she was not going to take the news well. I decided I didn’t want it coming from me.

At 9:00 on the dot, the door opened and the three final applicants walked in. Michael was dressed neatly, his hair nicely combed- it is just shocking how unbalanced that man can be and look so normal. I glanced down at my computer screen to put names with the other two faces: Karen Fillippelli and Jim Halpert. Of course I recognized both names; Dunder Mifflin has a lot of branches but it isn’t that big of a company. I was pretty sure, once I saw him, that I’d met Jim before; he’d been up at some point to meet with Jan. His hair was different, and maybe he’d lost some weight, but it was definitely the same guy. He’s cute- my college roommate would have loved him. She liked tall gangly boys and was a sucker for a nice smile, and Jim has that.

I’d never met Karen before. She reminded me of just about every third girl at every audition I’ve ever been to. Not in her looks- there’s actually something unique and sort of exotic about her- but in the way she holds herself. Like she knows she’s special and she’s dying to prove it because she’s terrified you’ll think she’s not. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong, but that was the vibe I got. One thing I could tell that I’m sure I’m not wrong about: she was over the moon for that Jim Halpert guy, and he wasn’t nearly as into her.

So the three of them were waiting: Michael, Jim, and Karen. I know they’re all from Scranton, so I was watching them pretty closely. Wait, that sounds bad. It’s not that I thought they were going to make off with the furniture or something, but I was just curious. I’d never seen Michael around people that he sees every day, you know? I figured maybe he was more relaxed with them, or that Scranton’s just full of lunatics, and that’s how they all get along. Whatever, it’s not like I had anything better to do, so I was keeping an eye on them.

Like I said, it was pretty clear that Karen had the hots for Jim. They sat really close on the small sofa (It’s always funny watching people trying to maneuver their personal space on that thing), but she was the one angling her body toward him or reaching out and touching his arm as she talked, that kind of thing. He looked really comfortable with the attention, but didn’t seem to initiate anything. I couldn’t figure out if it was a situation where she was pursuing him, or if it was one of those relationships where the guy thinks it is casual and the girl doesn’t, or if maybe they had one of those so-called “friends with benefits” deals that rarely end well. I suspected the latter, though. He seemed more interested in talking to Michael.

Finally, though, David called Michael in for his interview. Michael told the other two (loudly) not to wish him luck because they both needed it themselves, and then disappeared into the main part of the office. As soon as he left, Karen seemed to relax, snuggling up to Jim in a way that indicated that she either didn’t know or didn’t care that I was still sitting there. With a sheepish smile in my direction, Jim shifted away from her and said something softly in her ear. She glanced my way briefly and sat back, her lips compressing for a moment in displeasure. I heard her say something in a low voice about “receptionists,” but she covered it with a half smile and the phone at my desk rang before anything else was said.

For the next half hour, I answered e-mail and the pair of them made small talk. Every so often Karen would touch Jim’s hair or smooth his collar, and he accepted it without comment. Of course, he was also missing that little smile you see on the face of a guy who loves you fussin’ over him. It sounds like I’m harping on this, I know, but there’s a reason for that, I promise. I’m getting there.

Anyway, David paged me and asked me to send Karen back. He was done with Michael. I let Karen know (she thanked me graciously, but I wasn’t forgetting her “receptionists” remark, whatever it was). Jim wished her luck very sweetly, and then it was just the two of us in the lobby. He smiled at me and picked up a magazine, and I went back to work. Well, back to my crossword puzzle, anyway. It was nice and quiet and comfortable. For a while anyway. Remember, I said that day was “interesting”? Yeah, trust me; we’re just about to the interesting part.

Well, like I said we were just sitting there, and then Karen came bursting out through the doors back into the lobby. She started chattering away about how Jim would not believe what just happened, and she knew Jan was crazy, but she had no idea…of course, I was trying to hear what she was saying but my inside line rang. It was David, telling me to call security up to his office right away to escort “someone” off the premises. I could hear Jan in the background, all “you don’t need to escort me out, I wouldn’t stay here for another minute if you begged.” David hung up, and I dialed down to the building security office. I tried to keep my voice low, but Jim and Karen stopped and looked at me as I requested an escort. “I told you,” Karen hissed, her eyes gleeful.

Jackson, the security guy, arrived just as Karen finished telling Jim what had happened in David’s office. According to her, she had been just finishing up her interview when Jan came barging it, Michael all skulking behind her. He’d let the cat out of the bag, I guess, and boy oh boy did that cat have claws. Jan walked right into Karen’s interview! So Karen’s sitting there while David just finally leveled with Jan- about her constantly being gone, and smoking in her office (Stephanie had told me that Jan’s office always reeked of smoke, but I’m never back there), and being in Scranton all the blessed time, and even online shopping all day- which, if I resist that temptation, surely someone with actual job responsibilities should be able to. Ms. Levinson, though, apparently started accusing David of firing her because of the boob job. Woo-boy. I almost couldn’t blame Karen for being wound-up; seriously, having a ring-side seat for all that?

Still, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Jan. I mean, to find out you’re being fired from the guy they’re interviewing to replace you? Ouch. Finally, David, Jackson, Jan, and Michael appeared through the doors, Jan clutching a box with her personal effects, her assistant Hunter trailing behind. Have I mentioned Hunter? Cute young guy, with a total “Mrs. Robinson” crush on Jan, which she has enjoyed very much, at least from appearances.

Michael had spoken to Hunter earlier in the morning, before he’d gone into his appointment. Michael had tried to send Jan some sort of horribly inappropriate message about her boobs. Hunter was properly horrified. I don’t think Jan and Hunter had actually ever done the deed, if you know what I’m saying, but then again, I had no idea she was nearly as nuts as she turned out to be, so…what do I know?

Speaking of Jan being nuts, she chose this moment to demonstrate it. She gave Hunter an awkward hug (and enjoyed it, from the angle where I was sitting) and wished him luck with his band. She told him not to let “them” change him (I was cringing). And then she dropped a bunch of her stuff.

So you’ve got Jan, Michael, and Hunter all trying to pick up various knick-knacks off the floor, with David just standing there, and the security guy trying to stay out of the camera shot because he never signed the release form, and me, Jim, and Karen watching it all like it’s some sort of Greek tragedy. It was surreal. Finally Jan pulls herself together, stalks toward the door, and spits out, “So long, asshole!” to David. It was like she wanted a grand exit, but everything just got small on her. Heh, except for the boobs.

There was a moment of silence, and then things got worse. I know, right? But they did. Because…well, because Michael Scott was there. He looked at David and said he was going to take Jan home, but to let him know about the job.

David had the humanity to look a little bit uncomfortable as he tried to let Michael off easy, saying that they were going in a different direction. But Michael, poor, oblivious to social cues Michael, thought that was a good thing. He said that he had lots of ideas for new directions. Ugh. So David bit the bullet, and just said outright that Michael didn’t get the job. Bless his heart, Michael didn’t miss a beat. He said something like, “Good, because, I shouldn’t take my girlfriend's job. That's not being a good boyfriend. So, I withdraw my name from consideration.” My mouth was hanging open, and I totally ignored the phone ringing. Between the fact that Jan and Michael had gotten back together (When? How? Why?), and Michael withdrawing his name after he’d been eliminated…seriously, I’d have been speechless even if I had picked up the phone, so there was no point.

David “accepted” Michael’s withdrawal, and Michael left, giving both Jim and Karen a recommendation on his way out. I took a second to breathe as David turned to the two remaining candidates. He told Jim that he’d be with him shortly, but he had some “HR paperwork” to fill out. Yeah, no kidding. He left the lobby, shaking his head slightly.

I was just about to start listening to voice mails (I’d missed two calls during the Jan and Michael show), when something in Karen’s expression caught my eye. She made some comment about Jan being self-destructive (which, again, no kidding). Jim agreed, but said he felt sorry for Jan. But Karen was all, “Don’t! She’s nuts!” Yeah, that was about it for me with that girl. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know I called Jan “nuts” myself about two minutes ago, but I also feel sorry for her. I was stunned by her melt-down, not…amused.

Then, things got a little bit intriguing. Jim had sort of laughed along with Karen about Jan, but he almost immediately told her that she didn’t have to wait around for his interview if she didn’t want to. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but it totally felt like, “we’re not on the same page, and I don’t care if you stay or go,” to me. And then, which I could not believe, Karen agreed to go! She said she’d already made tentative plans! Again, I was probably projecting my own feelings onto the situation, but it didn’t seem like Jim was too sorry to see her leave. I was actually about to strike up a conversation with him, just to see if I could tell if I was right or not, but then the phone rang. He gave me a really weird look as I answered the phone- like a wistful half-smile. At the time, I thought maybe he found my voice soothing after all the weirdness of the morning.

So that mess was definitely the crescendo of my day, but the show wasn't over quite yet.

I transferred the call to Kendall in HR, and then finally listened to the two neglected voice mails. I finally hung up, and noticed that Jim was flipping with a puzzled expression through a magazine. I had to laugh; he’d picked up an old issue of Broadway Magazine that I’d left in the rack. I decided to see if I couldn’t satisfy some of my curiosity. I cleared my throat gently. “Jim, do you need anything while you wait? I can point you to the restrooms, or we have vending machines in our break room…”

Jim broke out into that great, friendly smile and said he was fine. I asked him about his trip up to the city, and made a tiny joke about what a long drive home Michael would be having. With a laugh, he stood up and came over by my desk, resting his forearms on it as he talked to me. I gotta tell you, there was something very appealing about that tall white boy sort of leaning over me, like there was nothing more important in the world than our conversation. Still, I wasn’t going to be charmed out of my purpose. Casual-like, I said, “It must be a little weird, applying for the same job as your boss and your…um…”

He sort of grinned and said, “Karen’s my girlfriend, yes.” I have to admit, I was surprised. Like I said before, I figured they maybe were sleeping together with no strings, or that she was on the hunt for him, but I never expected that they were an actual couple. I’m a good actress, but part of that is that my emotions are clearly expressed on my face. Jim noticed, raising his eyebrows slightly, but he didn’t say anything.

I tried to veer in a new direction. I said, “Well, it’ll be a good opportunity for any of you. Better than being a receptionist, anyway.”

Jim just smiled at my attempt at deflection. He said, “Hey, now. Some of my favorite people are receptionists.”

I laughed. “I’ll have to tell Pam you said that.”  

Jim stood up like my desk had caught fire. I actually jumped, he moved so fast. He swallowed hard, and then forced a fake smile back on his face. “Pam?” he said, sort of hollowly.

I tried to keep my tone light, but obviously I was dying to know what was going on. “Yeah. Pam is the receptionist in your office, right?”

The poor guy started to stammer. “Ye-yeah. Of, of course. I just…I didn’t realize you’d know her, but of course you do. I mean. Heh. Yeah. You could tell her I…yeah.” And he turned around and sat back down on the little couch.

At this point, I had decided that, one: Jim Halpert was a nice guy; two: Jim Halpert wasn’t really that sold on his girlfriend, and three: Jim Halpert had something going on with sweet little Pam, the receptionist in his office.

I’ve talked to Pam Beesly several times a week for years now. I don’t know her very well, but I do know that she broke off an engagement last summer, and that she hasn’t sounded like herself for a long time, until the last week or so. All I could do was watch Jim and wonder about all the drama going on in that Scranton office. Honestly, all the Michael and Jan stuff was so far gone from my brain, I hardly remembered it had happened.

Finally, my internal line rang again. David was ready for Jim. I wished him luck, and he smiled, thanking me politely as he disappeared into the main office. I struggled mightily for a minute, but finally decided not to call down to Scranton. I mean, I could easily have used the excuse that I was calling just to give Pam the scoop on Jan, but I didn’t trust myself not to just blurt out, “What is going on with you and Jim?!” So, I opened a game of spider solitaire, and tried not to think about it. After all, it was possible that neither Jim nor Karen would get the job, and I might never see either one of them again. My curiosity was just going to bug me with no way to resolve it.

Yeah, so I thought. Jim had been gone maybe ten minutes when he came back through the doors. I looked up at him, surprised. “What now?” I asked before I could catch myself.

Jim started to laugh, just a little. “Just a little more hard-core self-destruction. I’ve been really stupid. Blind, even. But I’m trying to fix it. Can you do me…well, actually, two favors, Grace?”

I was so confused, but you have to understand, there was something about that guy, just something intense in his eyes, and I found myself nodding before I realized that I had agreed to help him.

With a relieved sigh, he leaned down onto my desk in that conspiratorial way. He said, “Great. OK, first, can you give me the name and number of a cab company, the train schedule, and the info for a decent local hotel? I have a feeling that Karen is, um…maybe not going to want to ride back to Scranton with me, and I want to be able to take care of whatever arrangements she wants.”

My eyebrows were just about leaping off my forehead, but I nodded without a word and started pulling the information out of a file I keep for visitors to the office. I handed him a print-out and a couple of brochures.

He smiled and thanked me, and then he said, and oh my gosh, I couldn’t believe it, he said, “OK. Um, the other favor. Can you maybe call the Scranton office and tell Pam to wait until I get back?”

Obviously, I was all, “Excuse me?”

Jim looked sheepish. “Look, I need to talk to her today, and I don’t know her new address or phone number, so I need to catch her before she leaves work. And I don’t know how long it will take to sort this out with Karen before I go…but I also don’t want to talk to Pam before I talk to Karen, because that just seems…lame.” He sounded lame, and he knew it.

I shook my head. I said, “Jim, I want to help you, but you can’t expect me to tell that poor girl to keep an eye out for you without telling her anything else!”

I could almost hear the gears turning in his head. Finally, he said, “How about this? Tell her that you’re going to fax her something for Toby that is very confidential, so could she please not leave until it comes so it doesn’t sit out on the fax machine. You can even tell her it might not be until late, but that it is really important. I mean, I know it’s a lie, but…”

Oh, you know I said I’d do it! Clever boy. He actually kissed me on the cheek before he stalked out of the building, looking like you imagine the Christians going into the gladiator arenas: terrified, but confident of their reward. I hoped he was going to get the reward he was looking for.

I called Pam and improvised my part nicely. She didn’t seem too upset about being asked to work late; I imagined she wanted to be around as long as possible to hear what had happened with the interviews anyway (I was careful not to mention them, and she didn’t ask).

I have to admit, I was singing to myself for the rest of the afternoon, thankful that I had had such an entertaining day and equally grateful that I work here and not in Scranton. I was just about to turn the phone system to automatic voice mail for the night when the phone rang.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Grace,” I said, as usual.

It was Jim. “Hey Grace,” he said. “I just wanted to thank you. I made it here on time and…and Pam and I have dinner plans.”

Music to my ears. I may be waiting to be discovered, but it was nice to have a supporting role while someone else got their big break.