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He sat at the kitchen table. Head hung low. A half-drunk beer sat before him. He felt numb inside. Wondered how it had come to this.

Less than a year ago. Life was good until then. Life was almost perfect.

The diagnosis had taken them by surprise. Just a routine check-up had turned up a hidden problem. Nobody ever wants to hear a doctor say that dreaded word but it hit him especially hard. It had been years and years, and god knows he had been happy, but always there was that undercurrent of insecurity. A gnawing fear in his gut that he would lose her. All because of the time when she had almost not been his.

Fifteen years of marriage, three children, and being her best friend and still a tiny nagging voice inside reminded him every now and then that it could all go away. It had become less and less frequent over the years until it was nearly silenced. But almost a year ago, it renewed itself with a vengeance.

She let him comfort her at first. She shared her fears with him. His touch seemed to give her some solace. She still had hope.

He knew that she might need some space and some time alone but after the operation, she seemed to pull away from him. She pulled away by such tiny increments that it was imperceptible until she became a tiny speck in the distance.

Her mother had come for a while so he didn't really worry at first. But when Maryann left, Pam still hadn't leaned on him. He called his mother-in-law to find out anything he could.

"I don't know what to do for her. She won’t let me in."

"She needs time, Jim. She didn't really talk to me either. Just be there for. She loves you and she loves the kids. She’ll come around eventually."

She had found an online support group. She spent a lot of time online. Eventually, when she felt well enough, she attended meetings too.

He wanted to be supportive so he tried to talk about things with her. She always said she was tired and went to lie down. He took care of the kids and made the lunches and arranged for their rides to their activities and tried to take time off to go their games when he could. It was taking its toll, being mother and father to them, but he always did what needed to be done. It was made all the harder by not having his best friend to talk to anymore.

She had gone away on a retreat a few weeks prior and since then had started staying out later after her meetings. Or she would announce after dinner that she was meeting “friends" and disappear. She hadn't let him touch her in months.

He had known there would be healing time after the operation but that time had passed. When he tried to hold her at night she would roll away and tell him she was tired. When she smiled now it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Not that he had seen her smile lately.

It was late when he heard the car in the driveway. She came into the room and stood there not saying a word. After a moment she announced, rather loudly, “I’m home.”

He took a swig from the bottle, still looking down at the table.

"Aren't you even going to say anything to me?" she asked.

He sighed. There was a long pause.

Finally, in a shaky voice, he asked, "Pam, are you having an affair?"

Silence.

Then she walked out of the room. He heard the car start again and before she had put it in reverse his head was down, back heaving as he sobbed quietly in the darkness.

How did we get here? Why?

He awoke a few hours later on the couch. His head hurt. It was almost 6. He knew Elizabeth had a soccer game at 7:30. Ben had a 10:00 basketball game which he was coaching so he dragged himself into the shower. Made some coffee. Took a few aspirin. Went to wake up the kids.

When he went to grab clean clothes he was surprised to find that Pam was back, in bed, and sleeping. He didn’t wake her. He didn't really know what to say anyway.

He woke Annie to take her along with him too. She would be bored from spending the whole day at Beth’s and Ben’s games but he didn’t know what else to do. The kids had already been through so much and it was up to him to keep things normal.

Even if his perception of normality was now completely altered.

Exhausted from lack of sleep, coaching, taking care of the kids all day, and worrying about Pam, he fell into bed that night needing respite. However, his mind refused to let go of the endless soundtrack running through his brain. Over and over he asked Pam if she was having an affair. The ensuing silence was like a weight pressing on his chest.
 
When he drifted into sleep he dreamt back to that windswept day on the beach when he had proposed to her. She had been so happy then. So had he.

He dreamed next of their wedding day. How beautiful she had looked coming down the stairs of the inn with her father. How tightly she had held him when they danced together. How perfect it was when they made love. How much fun they had on their honeymoon in Key West.
 
Less than a year after they gotten married, he’d been offered a great job with a huge salary increase which involved a move to California. They’d mulled it over for about three seconds before deciding to take it. Pam was so excited to get away from Scranton. And California seemed so exotic.
 
They were happy in their new home. Using it as a base, they spent a few years traveling up and down the west coast. They took longer trips to Hawaii, Mexico, Alaska – wherever they could.

Jim was eager to start a family but he also wanted to see the world with Pam and let her sketch it all if it made her happy. It did. And one day he had come home from work and she jumped into his arms and told him she was ready. She wanted to have a baby.
 
He was a natural at being a father. When Elizabeth was born he could scarcely take his eyes off her for the first few weeks. He couldn’t believe he and Pam had made this perfect little person together. And he never admitted it to himself, but having a child with Pam had finally allowed him to feel more secure in their connection. All those years of uncertainty - of loving Pam and not having her - had taken more of a toll on his psyche than he had realized.
 
With only each other, they had started a new life far away from all that was familiar and it had made them even more in love then they thought possible. It was as wonderful as Jim always imagined it would be. She was his best friend, his lover, mother to his children and he felt there was nothing he couldn’t do.
 
They had never intended to stay permanently in California but right after their youngest child was born, Jim’s company reorganized and suddenly his job was gone. He was offered a comparable position in Florida. Neither of them was excited about the move. The plan had been to go from California back east to be near their families. Unfortunately, their options were limited and he took the transfer.
 
As soon as they got to Florida, Pam was unhappy. She supported Jim, though, and tried to get involved in some local activities and make friends. The company had relocated them to one of those gated developments where all the houses look alike and it offended all her artistic sensibilities. She hated the other mothers who were always competing with each other. When she got sick, it was easy for her to let herself get depressed since she was already halfway there.
 
Jim suddenly wasn’t sure if he was awake or sleeping. Had he been dreaming or reminiscing?

As he was mulling it over, he felt Pam get into bed. She settled in as far on her side as she could possibly get. Then he knew for certain he was awake.

He lay there needing badly to touch her. He wanted to take her in his arms and show her he still loved her - still needed her. But he was haunted by her silence in response to his question. Immobilized by the vision of her with another man. It was a vision he had hoped never to have again after she left Roy.
 
Sleep was overtaking him again when he felt her shift in bed. Sheets rustled as she moved toward him. Then he felt her hand, small and tentative, reach over to rest on his hip. Much as he yearned to roll over and embrace her, he didn’t want to press his luck and risk alienating her. He settled his hand on top of hers.

When she entwined her fingers in his, he smiled in the dark. He waited for her to make the next move but she remained still. He finally let the aching tiredness in his bones take over, content for now with her attempt to bridge the gap between them.

He awoke the next morning with more hope than he had dared to feel in months. But his heart sank when he rolled over and realized she wasn’t lying there next to him.
 
The house was unusually quiet for a Sunday morning. He got up to investigate.
 
The kid’s beds were empty. Dirty breakfast dishes were piled in the sink. Pam’s keys were gone from the hook by the garage door. He ran his hands through his hair not really knowing what to do with himself.
 
Jim was always in charge of Sunday breakfast. He loved having the family around the little table in the breakfast nook while he whipped up waffles or omelets and they all talked and laughed about what they had done on Saturday. He loved not having the TV on; loved having the kids really talk to him and Pam and each other. It was his favorite time of the week.
 
Now the house felt devoid of life. Pam hadn’t left a note. A dark thought popped up unexpectedly in a deep recess of his mind. He pushed it away.
 
The hope he had felt upon waking was faded. Instead of facing the day alone in the big, quiet house, he crawled back into bed. Not surprisingly, he fell into an exhausted slumber.
 
He was well into a dreamless sleep when he was awoken by a noise. He heard the garage door open and footsteps up the stairs. She turned the knob on the bedroom door quietly and he rolled to see her face as she opened it. She was even more pale than she had been recently.

Jim felt a sudden twinge of panic that maybe she had relapsed.
 
“Hey,” she said, her voice catching in her throat.
 
He propped himself up on his elbows and regarded her from across the room. She was still so beautiful to him after all she had been through. Even though he had been crazy about her when they first got married, he never imagined she would still take his breath away after all this time. He also never thought he’d ever feel so distant from her again.
 
“Where are the kids?” His voice was cautious as he remembered his earlier fear.
 
“I dropped Elizabeth off at the movies with Abby and her mom and Ben and Annie went to the Nelson’s.”
 
She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. Looked at him for a long moment. Finally, she reached over and ran her hand through his hair. She was struggling to find words to say to him.

“Jim, I…” she broke off. Swallowed hard. “I’m sorry…”
 
Something in the trembling of her voice was all wrong. Jim felt a wave of nausea as the realization hit him. She sounded guilty.

She is having an affair.

He felt his throat constrict as the fear turned to anger. Her hand was still entwined in his hair. He pushed it away roughly and threw back the covers. Grabbing the clothes he had thrown over the chair last night, he practically ran into the bathroom.
 
In an instant, she was at the door.
 
“Jim! Don’t do this. Talk to me, please!” She sank to the floor.
 
Fully dressed, he opened the door and brushed past her, making it down the stairs in a few giant steps. She was slow to rise from the bedroom floor and he managed to grab his keys and squeal out of the driveway before she could stop him.
 
Now it was her turn to cry.
 
He wanted to keep driving. Just drive and drive for miles and days and sing loud, angry heavy metal songs, and drive until he found somewhere where his pain couldn’t follow. Never stopping, never caring, never needing another human being.
 
But Jim knew he could never be that person. His family was as essential to him as oxygen. Even now, without them for mere hours, it was becoming hard to breathe. Besides, he knew that he was the responsible parent now and he couldn’t let down the kids. He loved them too much for that.

And no matter what happened between him and Pam, he knew he would do anything he could to make her happy. Even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness.
 
He drove for a few hours until the nausea had subsided to heartburn and the pounding anger in his head was a dull thud. But pain continued to permeate every cell in his body.

He hadn’t felt like this since… he had to think for a moment but he remembered finally. It was a warm evening in May over 16 years ago. The day when he had finally told her the truth about how he felt. The day he bared his soul to her and she had initially rejected him.
 
Back then he had only imagined what it would be like to be with her and still the heartache of her turning him away was agonizing. Now that he had tasted the pure joy of sharing his life with hers, the pain gnawing at his gut was much, much worse.
 
He pulled into the driveway. Stared critically at the house that Pam had never liked. In a place she never wanted to be.

Had he driven her to this? He was beginning to blame himself.

He sat there looking at the darkened windows thinking it didn’t seem very much like home right now. Not without knowing that she and the kids were waiting for him.
 
His breath hitched as thoughts raced through his head. His hands trembled slightly, still resting on the steering wheel. He finally pulled it together enough to get his shaking legs to take him to the door. Her car was in the garage. Now was the time to talk.

He needed it. But he wasn’t looking forward to it.

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

He took a deep breath and turned his key in the lock.
 
She was sitting on the couch and didn’t turn when he came in.
 
Music was playing softly in the background. He recognized it as a CD she had burned years ago. They’d listened to it on the plane on their honeymoon. It looped endlessly as they drove the U-Haul to California.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

She used to play it sometimes when he got home late from work and the kids were already asleep and she'd be waiting for him in bed with nothing but a smile and a glass of wine.
 
He hadn’t heard it in a while but he knew she liked to pull it out when she was feeling nostalgic for the past. He hoped it was a good sign. His shaky legs felt a little steadier.
 
She spoke quietly, still facing the fireplace, “I arranged sleepovers for all the kids. We need to talk.”
 
“Yeah, we do. We have for quite a while now.”
 
She sighed deeply, “I know. It’s all my fault. I’m not sure why I do these things to you…” her voice caught and trailed off to barely a whisper.
 
He moved towards the couch, “Stop, Pam. It’s all right.”
 
She turned to him then, agitated. “No, Jim! It’s not all right! That’s part of our problem -  you’re always trying to make everything all better. And sometimes you just….” She threw up her hands in frustration, “…you just can’t!”
 
He was caught off guard and got defensive. “So it’s my fault now?” He was standing right in front of her now.

She sank back a bit, voice deflated. “No, but my god, I mean at first it was so comforting to rely on you. My dependable Jim.” She allowed herself a half-smile, “My knight in shining armor.” Then her voice dropped lower, “But then it all changed.”
 
“What changed, Pam?”
 
Her voice was steady and even. “When I started getting sicker. I got scared and I….thought I was going to die.”
 
He had never wanted her to think about death. He never wanted to acknowledge it in his own mind either. His voice cracked, “Pam….”
 
“No, Jim, I thought I was going to die and you were doing so well at taking care of things like you always do. Holding everything together. The kids, the house, me… maybe I just started to pull away so you could get used to it…”
 
“Used to what?” He whispered, looking down at her sadly.
 
“To living without me.”

Jim breathed in sharply and closed his eyes. She knew it had lingered in the back of his mind, always, but he felt like he shouldn’t bring it up around her. She knew it as well as she knew her own thoughts.

“I just felt so broken. And you didn’t see me as any different from before. And maybe I needed you to acknowledge that I was different.”
 
“You weren’t any different to me, Pam.”
 
“But Jim, I FELT different! Then I couldn’t justify what you saw with what I felt inside. And I began to shut you out. Because you didn’t seem to understand how I felt.”
 
That got to him. “Didn’t understand how you felt? Pam, I almost died once too, remember!”
 
“You were in a coma! You didn’t experience the feeling of your body failing you! You didn’t stare death in the face and see it coming for you!” she wailed.
 
“Pam…..”
 
His legs buckled and he sank down into the love seat facing her. She stared at her hands in her lap. He saw tears drip down her cheeks and fall. The coffee table lay between them  like an unbreachable chasm.

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?

“Pam, what about the... are you having an affair?” his head was dizzy just saying the words. He didn’t want to know the answer.
 
She looked him steadily in the eyes. “Jim, I want to be truthful with you. I’m so tired of all this space between us.”
 
“Me too...” he said resignedly, already fearing he knew the answer.
 
She took a deep breath, “I met someone in my support group.” Then she couldn’t meet his eyes. His head slowly dropped to his chest. “I thought he understood me – what I was going through. I thought if I pulled away from you, you would get used to me being gone. You could be happy. Maybe even find somebody else…”
 
“Pam...”
 
“No, let me finish. I wanted you to find somebody else. Somebody who would be around for the rest of your life. Someone to love you. And the kids too. And I would have him. I mean, have him to talk to and to share what I was going through with.”
 
“Pam, I…” he croaked, unable to get any other words out.
 
“No, Jim, I didn’t cheat on you. Not physically anyway. But I guess I was emotionally unfaithful to you.”
 
“When I asked you before why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me think…”
 
“When you said it out loud I guess I realized how much I had broken off from you and confided in him and I felt so guilty – so bad, god, so many things...”

She leaned forward and said quietly, “Maybe for a second I had hoped you would ask me so I could say yes. To make a final break that I couldn’t make from you otherwise. So you could be happy and get on with your life with someone else.”
 
“Pam, you know I could never be happy with anyone else.”
 
He could see the tears welling up again in her eyes. She stretched out her hand to him. Without hesitation, he took it in his.
 
“I knew it. Deep down I always knew. Even when I was trying so hard to pull away. Anyway, when you asked me if I was having an affair, I felt so guilty. I don’t know how I let it get so far. So I went to see him.” She gently placed her other hand on his and said slowly, “And he tried to get me to stay with him.”
 
She winced as Jim inadvertently tightened his grip on her hands in response. The next words she said clearly and slowly.
 
“Jim…. he kissed me.”
 
A thousand thoughts passed through Jim’s head. Starting with the first time he had kissed Pam. He felt sick.
 
He tried to pull away but Pam knew him so well she already had a firm grip on him.
 
“Jim, look at me.” His eyes slowly met hers again. “I know exactly what you’re thinking. He kissed me but it wasn’t like that. I didn’t kiss him back. As soon as he did it, it felt completely…. “ She shook her head, “Just so wrong. I told him I never wanted to see him again. And I came back here. To you.”
 
She rose up and went over to sit next to Jim. He was crying softly. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head down to her breast. She cradled him and rocked him back and forth. Soothing him as best she could. Soothing him as she knew he would do for her. Had always done for her.
 
Tears ran down her cheeks as she rubbed his back and he sobbed into her.
 
“I am grateful for one thing, Jim.”
 
He looked up at her then and she saw the same mix of raw pain, pure love, and complete anguish she had seen in his eyes the last time she had kissed one man when she belonged to another. But the last time had led to the greatest happiness she had ever known. This time she had hurt him even though she had vowed never to do it again.

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
 
“I’m grateful because it helped me to remember everything. Like how much I love you. Like how we promised never to take each other for granted. But I have been taking you for granted. And I promised myself that I would make up to you for all those years I tried to deny what we had together. I guess I haven’t done a very good job lately….” she trailed off.
 
“It’s okay, Pam…”
 
“No it’s not. Not at all. I’m sorry. I love you, Jim.” She whispered in his ear. “I’m so sorry. So very sorry. Can you forgive me? Please?”
 
He didn’t look up then but he nodded into her. She started kissing his face softly. She kissed his cheek, rubbing her lips over the slightest bit of stubble, then she moved up into his hair, breathing him in. She hadn’t been this close to him in months and suddenly she was hungry for his touch.

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you.
 
She cupped his head in her hands and turned his face to her. She said emphatically, “I love you, Jim Halpert. I love you and I don’t want you to ever have to doubt that again.”
 
He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers making her shiver the tiniest bit. “I love you, Pam. I can’t lose you.”
 
He wrapped his arms tightly around her wanting only to let her know how loved she was.
 
“You won’t. I promise,” she said, nuzzling his neck. Her pulse raced. She ran her tongue up to his ear where she whispered “Will you take me upstairs and make love to me? Please? I just want to feel alive again, Jim. Can you make me feel alive?”
 
“That’s what I’m here for, my love.” He smiled and took her in his arms, carrying her upstairs.

And for the first time in months he felt able to breathe.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

She was the first thing he saw when he woke, perched on the edge of the bed in her fuzzy robe, hair wrapped in a towel. She was stroking his hair and smiling. As soon as he reached a semi-conscious state, the previous night's activities started running through his mind and soon he was smiling right along with her.

She leaned down to place a soft kiss on his cheek. “Jim, you're gonna be late for work, babe!”

There was a twinkle in his eye as he replied, “I don't think I'm feeling very well today. How about you?”

She pretended to mull it over but the way her smile grew wider betrayed her thoughts. “Yeah, I think I feel a touch of something coming on. Something that might require a day in bed.”

She shrieked with laughter as he grabbed the sash of her robe and pulled her down next to him. “Hmmm... a day in bed? That sounds like a surefire remedy for what ails you.”

Then his face grew serious as he asked, “How do you feel today, Pam? Really.”

She ran a finger down his cheek thoughtfully, “I feel much better. I mean obviously it’s not like everything is going to magically fix itself overnight.” He nodded somberly. But she was grinning mischievously when she added, “But thanks to Dr. Halpert’s miracle cure, I think we could be onto the right course of therapy!”

He leaned over and said, low, “Well that’s good to know. Can the doctor do anything else for you today?”

“Actually, I can think of one big thing I’d like…”

He threw back the covers and looked up expectantly at her.

She laughed, “JIM! That's NOT what I meant! But since I see that you're up...” and she moved over him.

In one deft move he pulled the sash of her robe to open it and pulled her down onto him as he growled in her ear, “That's what she said...”

*******************************************************************************************
She walked across the bedroom towards the French doors. He was smiling, waiting for her to notice. When she did, he saw her bounce on her toes and clap her hands like she often did when she was very excited. He couldn’t help but to think how adorable it was that Annie did the same thing as her mother.

She turned back to him, beaming. “Jim - there’s a terrace!”

He returned her smile, “I know. When I heard about that I knew we had to see this house.” He already knew what her answer would be as he asked, “You like?”

She nodded, “I love! Come in here, the only room left to see is the master bathroom.”

He followed her in and then he picked her up and sat her on the counter next to the sink. He could see his reflection in the big wall mirror behind her.

“So, is this the house?” he asked her softly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close as she replied, “Yeah, definitely. I love this place!” She sighed. “Let’s go back to your parent’s house and let the kids know.”

“It’s going to be a good Thanksgiving this year,” he smiled.

“Thank you, Jim.”

He was puzzled. “For what?”

She cupped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. “For agreeing to move back to Pennsylvania. For uprooting our lives to find a new job and a new house. For giving me my terrace. And, you know, for loving me.”

“Pam, really, you don’t have to thank me. I mean, we knew we wanted to move back here eventually. And wherever you want to go is fine with me. I’d follow you anywhere. I love you.”

She sighed, “I love you too, Jim”

Suddenly, he used his foot to kick closed the bathroom door and she noticed the large mirror on the back of it. There were now mirrors on both sides of them and they smiled at each other’s reflection.

“This is an interesting feature don't you think?” he said slyly, hands running over her back and nuzzling her neck.

She ran her hands through his hair and kissed his cheek, ”Oh definitely! I can see myself really enjoying this room!”

She took in a deep breath as he slowly slid his hands up under her sweater.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the bedroom door. Pam looked at him wide-eyed.

“Mr. & Mrs. Halpert? How are we doing in there?”

Jim winked at Pam and without moving from where he was standing, leaned over to pull the bathroom door open and called out, "The house is great. We're going to take it!"

"Well, good! Why don't you come downstairs and we'll write it up?

He looked into Pam’s eyes, a devilish grin on his face as he told the realtor, "We'll be down in a few minutes!  We're just - uh - examining the plumbing!”

Pam’s shoulders quaked as she stifled a giggle into his chest.

"Well, take your time then! I'll be in the kitchen!" They heard her footsteps as she walked away from the door.

"That ought to buy us a little time!" he smiled as she moved in to press her lips to his. He pulled away long enough to murmur, “Besides, I really think that before we sign anything we need to test the integrity of this counter.”

***************************************************************************************

It was his favorite time of the week. They were all gathered together for Sunday breakfast.
Elizabeth was pouring the juice and talking about her basketball game from the previous day. Ben and Annie were eating cereal and kicking each other under the table. Jim was manning the waffle iron.

Pam came in the front door, stamping snow from her boots, a grocery bag clutched in one hand. She dropped it on the counter and said, “Halpert, I can’t believe you started making waffles and didn’t even check to see if we had any syrup!”

He smiled at her lovingly. Her nose was red and as she pulled off her hat, the static made her hair stick out all over. She looked adorable and he knew the look he was giving her would pretty much absolve him of any anger she felt about having to venture out on a cold December morning.

She hung up her coat and gave Jim a hug from behind. She held onto him a second too long causing all three of her children to start their familiar refrain of, “Oooooohhhhh! Gross! Mom! Dad!”

Pam didn’t let go of him but she did turn and stick her tongue out at the three of them.

“Mom! You always yell at me when I do that to Beth!” Ben, of course, wouldn’t let it go.

He’s just like his father, Pam thought, rolling her eyes at her son.
 
Jim turned to face her and flashing a grin at them all, gathered Pam into his arms and kissed her full on the mouth. She pulled away, laughing.

Annie declared, “You two are the grossest mommy and daddy out of all my friends!”

Jim laughed and flashed Pam a look. “You hear that, honey? We’re the grossest out of all of them!”

He grabbed the plate of waffles and joined them at the table, where they sat for a long time eating together, talking and laughing. Elizabeth was clearing the table and Ben was helping to load the dishwasher when there was a knock at the door.

Annie ran to the front door and yelled back, “It’s Grandma!”

Jim’s mom appeared in the kitchen,  Annie tugging at her hand, and announced, “You children better get your stuff together! The movie starts very soon and Grandpa is waiting in the car!”

The kids scattered to gather their coats and boots and mittens. Jim gave his mother a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, mom, thanks for getting the kids out of here for a few hours so we can get a little Christmas shopping done and wrap the presents.”

“Your dad and I are happy to do it, Jim! We’ll get them dinner too so you and Pam have enough time.”

Jim grinned at her, “You’re the best, mom!”

Annie ran into the room with her coat and one boot on looking worried. “Daddy?”

Jim leaned over to zip up her coat, “Yes, pumpkin?”

“Does Santa know where to bring our presents this year? I mean, what if he takes them to Florida?”

He picked her up and gave her a kiss on the nose, “Santa knows we moved, kiddo! He knows everything. And don’t forget, he knows if you’ve been naughty or nice so be good for Grandma!” She nodded solemnly.

Just then, Pam came back in the room with Elizabeth, Ben, and Annie’s missing boot.

After seeing the kids off, Jim and Pam dropped onto the couch. He turned to her. “Well, we have a few hours! What should we do first?

Pam leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up into his eyes and said, “Well, I wrapped most of the presents last night and we really only have to run to one store, so I think we’re pretty caught up on things…”

Jim grinned, “What are we going to do with all this free time then?”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him off the couch. “I have a few good ideas.”

“Such as?”

She gave him a seductive smile, pulling him towards the stairs, and whispered, “Follow me.”

When they got to the bedroom, she began to kiss him but he held her hands and pulled back for a moment. She looked at him quizzically.

“Pam? Are you happy? Any regrets?”

“Why? What’s the matter?” She looked worried.

“I just want to make sure. I want you to be as happy as I can make you. We’ve been here for almost a year and I was just thinking about when you asked me to move back. I thought about all the reasons why we moved and I want to be careful that we don’t let it happen again.”

“I know, Jim. But believe me, I’m very happy here. Remember how excited I was to leave Scranton when we moved to California?”

He nodded, “Oh yes! You had our bags packed before I even officially accepted the transfer!”

She laughed. “Well, it’s almost like I had to leave here to really appreciate what we had. But I don’t regret leaving and I don’t regret anything that’s happened even if it was hard or painful because it’s part of us and part of our relationship. And Jim, I’ve never ever regretted a single thing about loving you. Choosing to live my life with you was the best thing I ever did. Do you have any regrets?”

He shook his head. “Not a one.”

She pressed herself closer to him. “And are you happy?”

He kissed her forehead and smiled. “Yes, most definitely.”

She tilted her head and grinned at her husband. “I bet I know how to make you happier.”

He doubted he could be any happier but as they fell onto the bed together, he whispered in her ear, “Show me.”