1 [Report This]Date: May 01, 2025 07:06 am Title: Junior Salesman
Oh god i know this is abandoned but im commenting anyway: this is such a great fix it for s9 😭😭
I love what youre doing with the jam conflict bec it does honestly seem truer to canon than the actual canon if that makes sense. You still have the communication issues, but it's just now more believable. And in character. With more nuance. And respect to the previous plotlines and character arcs.
Love what you're doing with nellie pete and erin. I absolutely LOVE those three so much and s9 makes me wish they were introduced earlier, especially erin. She's such a great character who's plotlines deserved more and how you set this up makes me root for pete and her even more. And i appreciate that it wasn't just a rushed "the new jim/pam" type thing, you made them their own thing and i really like clark more here than in canon 😭😭
And nellie! Her and Pam's friendship have such a special place in my heart.
UGH UGHHH just so much of what you did is BETTER 😭😭
Author's Response:
Much appreciated! I'm crafting a rewrite of this story that fits in an AU I made (Only You) with the same Jim/Pam drama, but with more canon-accurate elements. (For instance, Andy will be as awful as he was in S9, but with a better redemption.) I haven't even looked at this story in years.
As far as those three, I love everything about S9 Erin, and it was one of the things I wanted to maintain and flesh out a bit. Pete is a bit one-note, so I wanted to give him some more character. And Nellie was always one who had more potential than she got, and I wanted her to have more of a role in the show. Considering Pam's lack of female friends in the office, it was the perfect role for her.
Thanks for the review!
Date: October 15, 2020 02:34 pm Title: Junior Salesman
"Dwight decides to help his friend in the worst way imaginable" is just the essence of a good friendly Jim-Dwight story. (Also, it's fascinating to see Dwight's friends from across the course of the series come in and recognize a) how weird they are and b) how many of them there are. Dwight's kind of a social butterfly.)
There are just some killer lines in this. (Hide would've been a good choice, by the way.)
Giving the Erin storyline the attention it deserves was a solid choice here. Phyllis is probably my favorite of the side characters, and I always thought their possible parental subplot had a lot of potential that went unrealized - I like that you took the opportunity to explore more of what makes her tick.
Author's Response:
Appreciated! That's the thing about Dwight: he's a well-rounded, friendly guy, so of course he'd have a lot of friends. It's just those friends will match or surpass him in social awkwardness. I literally just ripped lines from the episode for some of their profiles because those who haven't seen the episode need to read them for themselves.
The series needed more Hide. (I'm glad his actor is doing better after surgery.)
Phyllis often gets a bad rap by some, so I wanted to explore why she acts the way she acts. Knowing her history, the thought of her lost youth just came to me on a whim, so I figured "why not?" Erin's parental thing with Phyllis was really pure and there wasn't enough of it, along with her relationship with Michael. Erin just brings out the best of everyone in the office, which is why she's one of my favorites.
Thanks for the review, as always!
Date: October 13, 2020 09:30 pm Title: Junior Salesman
Nice to see Jim starting to get on the mend. Good changes with everything else. It still very much felt like the kind of crazy one can only experience at DM Scranton.
Erin's storyline is also developing nicely as well.
Author's Response:
Indeed it is. Everything involving Dwight's friends just killed me. And Jim is on the mend, but he'll be back in a few chapters. I actually have something planned for Jim's first week of recovery, actually.
As I've said, some of Erin's story ended up on the cutting room floor, which is a shame, because this one really added a lot to her development.
Thanks for the review, as always!