1 [Report This]Date: December 01, 2020 05:33 am Title: Chapter 1
The real tragedy of this story is that it leaves off here. This is lovely.
1 [Report This]Date: November 21, 2017 05:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is lovely. I really wish it had more chapters (since I imagine raising Shane would also be an interesting endeavor), it's great as-is.
Date: April 12, 2008 11:19 am Title: Chapter 1
It broke my heart in every way - all good but danr it if you didn't make me sniffle just a little :)
Date: August 07, 2007 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
I only had a short bit to read, but since this was broken up int 55 word bits, it didn't feel as long as it was. plus i wanted to read it. so, yeah.
In a way, the idea of being pregnant and realizing it post the father's death reminds me of a book I read. But that doesn't really matter. Plus in that book it was a teenager, and a completely different circumstance, so really whatever.
Oh, and the author of that book is currently pregnant and is due in September I believe. Wow, I know too much about things that don't matter and am sharing that knowledge with you.
This was really great. I enjoyed all little segments, little snapshots as the time went by...
Good job. And a fast read. So yay.
10 [Report This]Date: July 15, 2007 06:38 am Title: Chapter 1
This was great. Loved that you followed the 55 words format in chapterish form. I can totally see Jim being all helpful and supportive if this situation were to actually play out. Nice work.
Date: July 15, 2007 01:28 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh. Sigh. Poor Jim. But I feel certain that Pam will need him for other things. After all, flesh and blood isn't all that makes a family. :)
Date: July 13, 2007 02:19 am Title: Chapter 1
I love this(I almost didn't click becase the summary made me think it was another 'jim has died, pam is sad' stories.
I love this idea, I'm so glad that you went beyond 55 words.
Author's Response: I hadn't even thought of the way people might take the summary, so I'm glad you and the person below mentioned this. I'm trying to think of something else to substitute, thank you!
Date: July 12, 2007 10:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
aww yay! I'm glad I read this, I almost passed it up thinking it was another one of those popular Jim or Pam dies stories.
I loved it. You said so much in each tiny section with so little.
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
Date: July 12, 2007 08:06 pm Title: Chapter 1
Very nice job on a premise that could have totally felt out of character. But it didn't at all. This was very true to Jim and Pam. I agree that after two weeks she'll be begging him to move back in :-) Anyways, great job!
Author's Response: Ahaha, thank you! I'm glad it came across as believable.
Author's Response: Ahaha, thank you! I'm glad it came across as believable.
10 [Report This]Date: July 12, 2007 03:06 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, this was so beautiful. I'm like, bawling right now, partly because each moment was perfect and beautiful in its own way, and partly because it went right back to the way it used to be at the end. Saaad!
Author's Response: Aw, chin up. You know it won't stop there!
Date: July 12, 2007 03:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
I liked this very much except for the beginning. I'm feeling kinda dopey. I don't understand the opening with Officer Barwick or why Roy is dead.
Author's Response: In the first drafts of this he died in a warehouse accident, but I omitted that part and now just envision it as a car accident of sorts. I had it in mind that Pam had gotten pregnant in December, so I imagine road conditions weren't at their greatest, you know? But a large part of what drove this fic is reader interpretation; there are a lot of things that are purposely left to the imagination. Thanks for the review!
Date: July 12, 2007 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wonderful. Very poignant and nice.
You have a 'he' missing, I think - "using every joke knows"
This line "she feels led to remind Pam often that Jim is not the baby’s father." shows the sometimes lethal nature of a mother-in-law. Or, in this case, would-have-been-MIL. Wonderful.
I was trying to pick my favorite, but I couldn't.
It's possible Pam would have had Jim in the delivery room. She would've wanted someone besides just the doctor and nurse(s). Maybe her mom.
This line "Jim is going to miss sleeping on Pam’s couch, but he doesn’t think she’ll need him anymore" is dead wrong. Now the needing really starts. It's very helpful to have 2 "parents" for a newborn. Maybe he'll move out, and Pam will keep asking for his help and he'll end up back there within a week. That's the "afterstory" in my mind!
You did a really nice job on this.
Author's Response:
Goodness, you guys are quick! Thanks for pointing out the vanishing "he" -- it's fixed!
As for the waiting room, I envisioned her mother in there with her but left it open to interpretation. He might have been in there earlier and needed to step out, it's really up to the reader's discretion.
Thanks so much for the feedback, it's very appreciated!
Date: July 12, 2007 01:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
You should continue this. I really loved it. I like the segments idea. Very cute.
Author's Response: Thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: July 12, 2007 01:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was really sweet. I love that you didn't end it with Pam and Jim living happily ever after, because as easy as that would have been, I don't think I would have bought it.
I love the name too: Shane Anderson Beesley. It fits.
And that Jim kid's far too sweet.
Wonderful job, I really enjoyed it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much!