1 [Report This]Date: May 27, 2019 04:20 pm Title: 3: Forced the life through still veins
Now this is a roller coaster of a chapter. You wrote Pam's conflicted emotions incredibly well from start to finish in this chapter. She's going through this hue big thing, and all the carefully built walls and barriers she's put in place are breaking, cracking, and crumbling. It's as if someone has taken the colour (you're welcome) palate of her life and rather than painting a clear and ordered painting, they're just tossing paint around and messing with the tint and contrast at the same time.
Likewise goes for Karen. I gt the sense that Karen is doing her best to keep things together. That she can't allow herself to be seen breaking by anyone. Clearly this Karen's not stupid and I can almost see the gears turning in her head as she processes what Pam had told her and that Jim is reaching out to Pam rather than her. Like I said, great writing.
So, where does this leave us? Well, as other have stated, Pam stayed and Karen left. Jim is going to see that. His so-called girlfriend bails, but Pam is still there and without an engagement ring to boot. I can't wait to see where you're going with this.
Author's Response: Hypothetically, if I were to repurpose phrases from your review, would you class that as plagiarism? 😂 Jim will reflect a little on the so-called girlfriend bailing in the next chapter (or two). I feel for Karen early on, she’s pretty oblivious to Pam & Jim’s history. Although, I feel for her less when she has more information and begins to treat Pam like a threat that must be stamped out, but I digress... I hope you find things to like in the next chapter too!
1 [Report This]Date: May 27, 2019 12:22 pm Title: 3: Forced the life through still veins
Cliffhanger! This is very addictive. Thanks for the update! I especially love Karen and Pam actually talking without excessive cattiness. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Addictive is high praise! I feel like the cattiness isn’t really established in the show until Karen has a bit more of an understanding of their history (stemming from events like her conversation with Phyllis in Traveling Salesmen...) Considering Jim has clearly not given her much history, I don’t think she sees Pam as a threat for at least some time following the merger. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
Date: May 27, 2019 12:11 pm Title: 3: Forced the life through still veins
This is so great! I like that Karen left but Pam stayed. Just shows that Karen wasn't fully there for Jim even when he really needed her.
Author's Response: Thank you! That’s something Jim will dwell on a little bit in the next/future updates too...
1 [Report This]Date: May 26, 2019 06:50 pm Title: 2: And watched the color rush forth
Oh Jim! Oh no, he thinks it's a prank! I love that, and the fact that he's not even mad - he's just impressed at the lengths she's gone to get him. That's such a Jim thing.
And you know what such a Pam thing is? Her being worried for Jim but being happy he doesn't remember the last year, but also still being concerned over Karen's feelings. Talk about conflicting feelings! But at least Jim is still holding her hand.
And that ending! The realization that Michael actually hit him with his car -- lol, so good!
What if I do hold my breath until the next update? Will it get you to write any quicker or are you fine with my passing out over this fic? Just asking.
Author's Response: Oh Coley, you threatening to pass out over my story is the sweetest thing... It’s a shame this whole job business really gets in the way of prime fic writing time. I have, however, managed to chip away at another chapter so hopefully that will be a breath of fresh air 😉
Date: May 26, 2019 06:41 pm Title: 1: Even in the blackout, I know
Oh, this is genius from the start! I love the "I wonder who he ran over then" line in the show, and it turns out, I love it in fic form as well.
This whole beginning with Pam's world missing bright colors with Jim in her life is so sad, but so well written... there are certain people who just add color to your life -- I have to imagine Jim is one of them! ;)
I love so much that Pam gets to the hospital before Karen does. I love that Jim can remember her birthday. I don't love so much that he can't remember the date, but well, I do love that he doesn't know who Karen is so it all works out in my mind.
I love this start! I'm a sucker for an amnesia story and this one has a different twist to it, so I'm all in!
Author's Response: Fun Run is my favorite episode so it’s fun to repurpose it with some Season 3 angst. I’m glad you’re down for the good, old amnesia trope...
1 [Report This]Date: May 26, 2019 08:40 am Title: 2: And watched the color rush forth
I left a review on fanfiction.net, but I'll say it here as well, I can't wait for this story to be updated again and hope to see a new chapter soon, keep up the good work :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review (both here & on ff net). I’m glad to have you reading! I hope you enjoy the next update.
1 [Report This]Date: May 26, 2019 04:52 am Title: 2: And watched the color rush forth
Very good with the internal thoughts this time around. Both with Jim thinking the whole thing was a prank and his hope at having Pam hold his hand like that and with Pam's conflicting feelings. You've got them in a fragile position and I very easily see why Pam is so hesitant about going forward.
To borrow a line from LOTR, the quest stands on the edge of a knife, stumble but a little and you will fall. That's where I see Pam right now. She has a thread of hope here, but if she doesn't tread carefully things around her will shatter. I get the feeling Jim might come to the same realization soon as well. And then of course what will Karen think about all this? Can't wait to see what you've got planned next.
Author's Response: Oh yes, so much potential for things to shatter... Although, there was enough shattering in reality & fic is for happier things as far as I’m concerned so there won’t be too much devastation. I’m glad to have you along for the ride!
1 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2019 08:18 pm Title: 2: And watched the color rush forth
But it's such a nice surprise to see another update! I'm very happy to see how Jim is coping and I love Pam and Karen in here.
Author's Response: A surprise for you & me both! I’m glad you’re enjoying the Pam/Karen dynamic in this because there is more to come...
Date: May 25, 2019 09:41 am Title: 1: Even in the blackout, I know
I really enjoyed this. It's a different take than past amnesia stories. Hoping for an update soon.
Author's Response: Thanks! I’m glad it’s a little bit different to what’s already out there. I’m hoping to update soon too - we shall see...
1 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2019 09:13 am Title: 1: Even in the blackout, I know
Amnesia plot! Super excited, definitely looking forward to this; please do consider updating soon!
Author's Response: Thank you! Oh, I will definitely consider updating soon, although whether my time management skills are up to the challenge is a different question altogether...
1 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2019 06:24 am Title: 1: Even in the blackout, I know
Excellent descriptions here. I really like that Pam's thought process involves color so much. It perfectly fits her personality. That everything is dull and faded there in the beginning is a great way to get into her frame of mind.
We've had memory loss/amnesia stories before. Jim or Pam forgetting about the other. However a Jim forgetting Karen story, like this one is shaping up to be, is a very unique twist. I really like the premise and can't wait to see where you go with it.
Author's Response:
As an Australian, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it annoys me to have spelt “colour” wrong so many, many times for this - so I’m glad to have it pay off, & that you’ve enjoyed the use of it.
Thanks for reading!