1 [Report This]Date: September 19, 2021 06:43 pm Title: The Mage
Really interesting take here. Kind of a rebirth of the young Pam who believed in the magic of stories. Quite the road she traveled and I really like how you alluded to her visible and invisible scars. Nice touch. In the end it wasn't magic that got her through. The thought of magic that gave her courage to fight was great. Nice job.
1 [Report This]Date: September 19, 2021 03:32 pm Title: The Mage
This is a well-executed extended metaphor, and one I can actually see running through Pam's head.
1 [Report This]Date: September 19, 2021 07:30 am Title: The Mage
I adore this, it is so beautifully written. Heartbreak, courage, joy, inspiration, it's all there. Magic indeed.
Date: September 18, 2021 08:27 am Title: The Mage
* She knows it isn't about her, nothing is about her anymore. Long gone are the days of walking a tightrope together, finding little moments to catch their breath, aware that their relationship was timed to fall. Now she walks alone, feeling like the sole barrier of that night, and all the nights leading up to it.*
This was beautiful. Love what you did here. Great job!
1 [Report This]Date: August 03, 2021 02:16 pm Title: The broken arm
Aww. Very sweet!
1 [Report This]Date: June 19, 2021 10:31 am Title: The broken arm
Good look into his character through this time. He's hurt, doesn't know where to go, and has a ton of confused feelings pulling him everywhich way. Talking to his mom and getting some perspective seemed to help. I got the feeling that under everything, the pain and the heartache, that little boy with the broken arm is still poking at him to face his fears and go for it again with Pam. Glad he finally listened to that inner voice too as the final scene was very sweet.
1 [Report This]Date: June 19, 2021 08:46 am Title: The broken arm
"He couldn't stop thinking about all the little things he knew about her. Her favorite flavor of yogurt, her favorite songs and just what to say to make her laugh. He wondered if these facts would eventually disappear from his mind, washed away like his grade-school teachers names or the periodic table. She is destined to be his past, and that's a hard pill to swallow."
That's just... really good writing.
Author's Response: thank you for the review and thank you for the compliment on my writing! I really appreciate it!
1 [Report This]Date: June 18, 2021 09:39 am Title: The broken arm
You may call this angst, but it’s fluffy angst to me!
This was adorable. I love that his confidante is his mom, and the whole broken arm backstory. We don’t hear much about Jim’s childhood (other than what his brothers mention), and this was a refreshing twist on the whole seasons 2 to 3 plotline!
1 [Report This]Date: June 18, 2021 09:17 am Title: The broken arm
Short and sweet. 😊