Date: March 11, 2007 09:11 pm Title: Questions and Answers
I'm enjoying this. I love Jim's inner voice trying to determine whether she had feelings, has feelings, etc. as well as all of his thoughts about Pam's non-answers.
I'm glad there's more coming. And, hey, Karen, just walk home and leave Jim and Pam to it! Two blocks. Good exercise. Buh-bye.
Author's Response: Ha! That's the nice thing about Karen living only two blocks away, isn't it? I'm glad you liked Jim's POV. He's probably the toughest for me to write, because I just have trouble writing from a male perspective. At one point I toyed with doing a Roy chapter but I thought it would come off as too caveman-ish. (Ug. Pam mine. Jim jerk. Who other girl on stoop? Hungry. Jet skis. etc, etc...)
Date: March 11, 2007 09:10 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Unbelievable Shan! I think this is your best chapter of anything to date. I usually like to quote to you parts that moved me, that were crafted exceptionally well, and I can't do it here without quoting the whole thing. Great Great Great job! You also have Pam and Jim down, seriously without words here. (Which is a prob as I am having serious issues with "courage" right now......)
Author's Response:
Thanks! I was entirely lacking confidence in this chapter until I actually posted it. Then I was able to sort of look back at it and say, 'Hey, this wasn't half bad after all.'
You take as much time as you need with "Courage." I'm willing to wait for the awesomeness that is your fic. But hey, if you ever want someone to talk plot points with, shoot me an email!
Date: March 11, 2007 08:36 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Wow. This was an awesome chapter. I probably gasped about five times or more reading this. I noticed a few tense discrepancies in the previous chapter. Also: the POV-change, especially at the beginning of this chapter, was a little jarring. I find it better if you just change the POV with each scene, rather than going back and re-doing the scene again from someone else's perspective. Just my opinion.
That being said -- this is such a great take on post-Cocktails. I love the fact that Jim told Karen about the Dundies kiss, not Casino Night. And all the confusion and anger --- and Kenny on the hood of Jim's car? OMG. So engaging. I can't wait to see what happens next!!
Author's Response:
Thanks GreenFish! I love that you gasped :) And Kenny on the hood of Jim's car is my favorite part of this, which is probably weird. The humor is always the most fun to write, although the drama is nice too.
I always have the inclination to write in past tense. It's like my default setting. But I have only written these in present tense because I think it makes everything more nervewracking because it's like it's happening right now. But sometimes I start out writing in past tense and then go back and convert it and I constantly miss things. Oopsie! If you could point out specific places where I slipped up I would love it. I'd like to fix any stupid errors I made (and there are probably many...) Anyway, if you have a moment, just email me through MTT.
As for the POV changes, I find it helpful to get into the mindset of the new character by sort of recapping what they've been feeling up to the present. So I'll probably continue re-doing the last couple of things that happened in the previous chapter from the new POV, but hopefully I can find a way to make it less jarring.
Thanks for all of your comments!
Date: March 11, 2007 08:14 pm Title: Questions and Answers
....and??? Oh you CAN'T leave it here...you just CAN'T. I'm drooling here, even more than poor Kenny as he lays on the hood of Jim's car.
You've GOT to write more because this is absolutely AWESOME!
Author's Response: Ha! Oh, Kenny. He is probably my favorite character in this fic. His one line has been my favorite line in the entire thing. Is that sad? Thanks for the review! I'll try not to keep you waiting too long :)
Date: March 11, 2007 07:41 pm Title: Questions and Answers
god, why couldnt karen have just gone home!!! what a cliffhanger.
Author's Response: Seriously, if I was Karen I would have been outta there. But Karen is really good at the denial thing. Almost as good as Jim and Pam. Thanks for reading!
Date: March 11, 2007 07:33 pm Title: Questions and Answers
“It’s just not good etiquette” Dear heavens, I LOVE your Jim - he's awesome. My anticipation for the next chapter knows no bounds - which is not to minimize the spectacularness of this and the preceding chapters. (It bugs me when I've worked hard on something and the only response I get is "yeah, that was great - give me more.")
I could literally feel the rising tension in this chapter - beautifully done. Also - plastic replica Pam and "He left his brother on my car." Brilliant!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! Jim is fun to write, but he's such an awesome character that I always worry that I'm not doing him justice. He's so clever and funny and I really try to bring that across. And the other two lines you mentioned happen to be my favs, so yay!
Date: March 11, 2007 07:14 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Yah! I was so happy to see a new chapter up. This is the best chapter yet--you capture the chaos, tension, absurdity very well.
Author's Response: Score! The best chapter yet? Glad to hear it, because it was definitely the hardest to write! Hee!
Date: March 11, 2007 07:09 pm Title: Questions and Answers
"He thinks he’d aim for the mouth first, because that’s the body part that’s causing Pam pain, but targeting Roy’s hand is sure to inflict the most pain on Roy, so it’s really a toss up at the moment."
sigh...I love Jim...and that was just so perfect coming from him. (Honestly, I haven't even finished the story yet - I just had to comment on that.)
Author's Response: Heh. Thanks! I had fun writing that line :)
Date: March 11, 2007 06:58 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Apologies for not reviewing sooner, because I've really liked this since the first chapter. It's paced well and the perspectives change fluidly. Of the many post-"Cocktails" fic, this is one of my very favorites. Great job so far!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad to hear you say that the POV changes fluidly. I'm experimenting with a punch of different POVs. Next we'll be back to Karen, who I find myself really enjoying. (and btw, great name!)
Date: March 11, 2007 05:54 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Alright, this story has quickly overtaken most of my favourite stories for the favourite story of Cocktails!aftermath, ever.
I just can't get over the idea of this, of these four confused, dazed, stupid people, standing near the house, yelling and punching and glaring [there was a lot of glaring, hmm.].
Characterisations are perfect; Pam, because the way she deflects the question entirely is unbelievably her, and how she says Jim and he can tell she means we need to talk; Roy, because he's an idiot; Jim, because I could see where what he was feeling was coming from, all that anger at Pam, at Karen, at himself, at Roy, and angry!Jim punching Roy? That was niiiceee. And I loved him saying I'm not sorry. And Karen, damn, she has no clue what she's getting into, and though I want her to leave right now...I also love how you've got her across as such a no-nonsense character, but she's stuck in one of the most nonsensical, messiest things in ages.
Actually I loved all of Jim's thoughts, mind-racing - the had or has he was so troubled about gets across nicely, how none of it matters if Pam refuses to acknowledge it, and
Jim isn’t entirely convinced that she hasn’t been replaced with an incredibly life-like plastic replica when he wasn’t looking. is only the second-best line after:
He left his brother on my car, because that is such a Jim!thing to do, trying to break the tension. [And I loved how you described how Pam looks at him after that.]
Roy out of the way, Karen now. I'm interested to see where this one goes, because Karen is, like I said, no-nonsense, not complete nonsense like Roy's been.
Loved this so much I'm going to read it again. WOO!
Author's Response:
Wow wow WOW! Thank you so much!
I am completely honored to be your fav post-Cocktails, because there are a lot of them out there and I love them all. I love the way you sum this fic up--four people in this chaotic, crazy situation, all being idiots. LOL, yes there's a lot of glaring. Sometimes I find myself looking up synonyms for "glare" too often.
You are so right about Karen. I'm going to write at least the start of chapter five from her POV, because she's got to be on thought overload right now and I want everyone to know what she's going through. Dealing with Karen will definitely be very different from dealing with Roy. Oh yes :-)
Coolest part of your review (besides the fact that your two favorite lines are my two favorite lines)-- the very sneaky use of italics in the word "unbelievably." Heh. Very nice. And yay for rereading! Rock ON! You... are a hero!
Date: March 11, 2007 05:47 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Wow...another amazing update. I loved that Jim was going crazy while Pam was trying to be rational and that he finally just couldn't NOT punch Roy--man did he deserve it. I'm surprised Jim waited so long! Then after Roy drove away I loved the funny Jim creeping back in despite the chaos that had just erupted around them...it seems like they might have a few more obstacles than just Kenny on the car before they can actually have the conversation with real answers.
Can't wait for more!!
Author's Response: Thanks for the fanTAStic review! Funny Jim was too adorable for me to abandon for long. He was out in full force in chapter one and then he came creeping back as soon as there was a lull in the action. And I like the way you put it--he finally just couldn't NOT punch Roy. Heh. Yeah, I kept stopping him at the last minute until I was like, Hey! Roy really deserves it!
Date: March 11, 2007 05:33 pm Title: Questions and Answers
If only! This is a wonderful story. Thanks, this helps with this much-too-long hiatus.
Author's Response: Awww, glad to help! The hiatus is killing me and my friends. We watch religiously and our Thursday nights feel so empty now!
Date: March 11, 2007 05:26 pm Title: Questions and Answers
this is great! i love seeing pam totally lose it - i definitely think that the strong, fierce pam we see here is in there!
Author's Response: I love seeing Pam totally lose it too! Is that mean? I mean, I put her througgh a lot, but her fierceness does sort of come through even though she's cracking. Thanks for the review!
Date: March 11, 2007 05:16 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Sometimes chapters give you a beating while you are trying to craft them, but if you stick to it - it's usually well worth the wait. This chapter was well worth the wait. I can't wait for the next chapter - nice, nice job!!!
Author's Response: Squeee! Thanks moxie! I'm sure the same will be true for the next chapter of Squirrel McPants :)
9 [Report This]Date: March 11, 2007 05:07 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Such a powerful chapter - I loved Pam's strength and Jim punching Roy and Pam and Jim almost talking - but what I may have loved the most, after everything that had happened, was this:
“He left his brother on my car.” What a great way to break the tension.
Author's Response: YES! Thank you! I felt like such a moron, snickering to myself when I wrote that line. It was definitely my favorite part to write. I'm glad that you liked the rest of it too. Assertive!Pam and Angry!Jim and some of my favorites to write.
9 [Report This]Date: March 11, 2007 04:45 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Ooooh I love me the drama! You've done really well creating such a high level of energy and urgency in this story- I can't wait for the next chapter! My heart was actually racing at certain points- most notably when Jim finally hit Roy- such a fantastic moment.
I really related to this part in chapter 3- But when all of a sudden “When the Saints Go Marching In” comes blaring from her phone, she is completely startled and bewildered. She forgot about his special ring. He hasn’t called her cell—not once—since that night, the night that she just told Roy about.
I've been there. Set a sappy ring tone to a guy (At Last. Could I have gotten any sappier?) One night, six months or so after we broke up, he called and that ring was like a frakkin dagger. Anyway, I felt it was a very real moment.
Author's Response: Oh, I am so glad to hear you say that the punch moment worked for you. When I wrote it I was like, 'Does this even make sense?' So yay! And that's too funny about the ring tone thing. I just randomly threw that in--I don't have a story about it or anything. And side note--the word "frakkin" will always make me giggle like Kevin. Always.
Date: March 11, 2007 04:44 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Fabulous and wonderful as usual; can't wait for more!
Will you name my review "President Thomas Jefferson" or something cool like that? :)
Author's Response: Thanks Becky! And consider it done. Mr. President has his own little name plate (think Kelly's from Christmas Party--with little pastel flowers and everything)
Date: March 11, 2007 04:41 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Wow. What an Awesome, outstanding chapter.
Author's Response: Wow, I got an "outstanding!" Thank you so much :)
Date: March 11, 2007 04:29 pm Title: Questions and Answers
yes! so happy to see this updated! so good!
Author's Response: Yay! Glad you liked it!
Date: March 11, 2007 04:22 pm Title: Questions and Answers
ooh, I am loving the drama here -- what I wouldn't give to hear Pam stand up for herself like this -- and I'm on the edge of my seat for the next chapter, like everyone else.
Author's Response: Doncha just love Assertive!Pam? I mean, she sort of got mixed up with Frantic!Pam in this one, but I tried. I'm glad the drama is still working for you lisahoo! You're a great reviewer, very consistent :)
Date: March 11, 2007 04:20 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Oh I love this story. I really do. I smiled when I saw an update. The tension is fantastic and I love how you keep putting in little moments of connection between Jim and Pam. So good.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that the tension was still there, because I was worried it might get a little lost toward the end. Btw, I've been meaning to read the update to Twenty-Six for a while now, and I promise I will! I love your story :)
Date: March 11, 2007 04:14 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Oh that was so great. And I loved Jim breaking Drunk!Roy's nose. He deserved it. Now I can't wait for the next chapter. Jim and Pam have some 'splain'n to do.
Author's Response: I was soooo nervous about having Jim punch Roy. It seemed like something Jim wouldn't normally do. But I kept having these moments in the chapter when I was writing Jim get angrier and angrier, only to restrain himself at the last minute, and I thought--I gotta let him do it once. Hee!
10 [Report This]Date: March 11, 2007 04:10 pm Title: Questions and Answers
Hey this is soo intense! I wonder what Karen has to say about all of this....! I wouldn't be surprised if she just wants out of it all! want waitt to see the next chapter! =)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! If I was Karen, I'd have walked away by the time that Jim started questioning Pam, but I'm not Karen :) So we shall see what she does next...
Date: March 11, 2007 04:07 pm Title: Questions and Answers
This is turning out great! Who knew I'd love to read about Roy in pain? Oh wait, that's right, I did!
Get Karen out of the picture so Jim and Pam can talk!
Name this review Chester please.
Author's Response:
Hey! Did you get a sneak peak at the next chapter? Tricksy Jamster!
And I have already knit your review little booties with "Chester" embroidered on them, so *check*