Date: May 13, 2007 01:57 pm Title: The Car Ride
This is really excellent. I just enjoyed so many things about it, that I wouldn't even want to quote all of the good lines.
To the line "And then he walked out of the car, his heart beating rapidly against his chest, without another word or glance", I think I would add "or thought for his girlfried sleeping in the back seat". Without this, I thought "what about Karen? Oh my gosh, he totally forgot about Karen." I think it's realistic that he forgot Karen, but it would be good to add that in, so people don't think you forgot about Karen.
Love Jim's answer to the last Truth or Truth question. Love, love, love.
And now I'm off to read the next chapter.
9 [Report This]Date: May 12, 2007 11:24 pm Title: The Car Ride
"Three. When was the first time you wanted to kiss me?"
. . . "Probably around the time you said hi, my name is Pam."
I don't know why but I love that, maybe because I can actually imagine them saying this.
Great job so far, you really have everyone's characters nailed in the 2nd chapter, can't wait to read more!
Date: May 12, 2007 10:03 am Title: Michael's Final Speech
ahh!!! i LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! <3 continue PLEASE!!!
Date: May 12, 2007 07:29 am Title: Michael's Final Speech
this is really good. keep it up!
Date: May 11, 2007 11:20 pm Title: Michael's Final Speech
I love this side of Michael. Very much like the I'm proud of you Michael from the art show. Please give us more soon. I'm really loving it so far.
Date: May 11, 2007 09:46 pm Title: The Car Ride
I love the idea of Micheal intervening in Jim/Pam.
Date: May 11, 2007 09:28 pm Title: Michael's Final Speech
Drunk Karen is funny! I'm intrigued about Michael and his plans. Nice so far!
Date: May 11, 2007 09:23 pm Title: The Car Ride
Oooh, this game is dangerous! And I love how daring they are, playing with Karen so close.
Date: May 11, 2007 08:38 pm Title: The Car Ride
Ah I loveee it! Can't wait to see what else you have in store for them! :3
8 [Report This]Date: May 11, 2007 07:50 pm Title: The Car Ride
This was great!! I loved Pam's 3 questions. I cannot wait to see how this turns out!
9 [Report This]Date: May 11, 2007 05:08 pm Title: The Car Ride
Love it, love it, love it. :) Can't wait to read more!
9 [Report This]Date: May 11, 2007 04:50 pm Title: The Car Ride
Cool idea. I love it when they're trapped together. What horribly inappropriate thing will Michael do at the party? Was Karen only faking sleep in the backseat? Looking forward to the next chapter.