Date: June 17, 2007 05:53 am Title: The Towel
Nice story. I admire anyone who tries to write creatively in a second language. It's hard for me and I only know one. I like the way you described things, you have a very visual writing style that's well suited to the story.
Author's Response:
Thanks! Glad you liked it!
Some how I find it easier to write this kind of stuff in english than in my own language.... weird.
I have a very vivid imagination, drives me nuts most of the time, but in thise case I got it working for me. =)
Date: June 16, 2007 08:43 am Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
Really great story. I would honestly never know that english is your second language if you hadn't pointed it out. The only mistake I saw is you said "tinkles" instead of "tingles" which is just plain funny, so that's okay. Great job!
Author's Response:
Oops! I knew there was something wrong there, hahaha
thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed it.
Date: June 15, 2007 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
Wow! Great chapter. If this is what you do in your SECOND language, I'd love to see what you do in your first! (Of course, I undoubtedly couldn't read it!)
Only major suggestion would be to break up the make out session into multiple paragraphs.
Author's Response:
hahaha thanks! Well strangly enough I find it easier to write this kind of stuff in english, (instead of my own laguage which is a little non romantic harsh kind of language)
I agree about the make out session, I will edit that a bit more. Too much all cramped in. Thanks for the tip!
Date: June 15, 2007 08:19 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
This is a great start! I look forward to more!
Author's Response:
Thank you! Chapter two is coming up later today.
Date: June 15, 2007 05:06 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
Good stuff! Haha..."Will it happen?"
Author's Response: Ooooooh yeah....
7 [Report This]Date: June 15, 2007 03:19 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
Congrats on your first fic! Very nice effort especially considering that English isn't your first language. I look forward to reading more from you - in this story and in future ones!
Author's Response:
Thank you, I'm a bit overwhelmed by these responces actually, never expected people would actually read my little story......
O, there is lots more where this came from!
8 [Report This]Date: June 15, 2007 01:19 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
I'm impressed. For your first fanfic and english not being your first language you did an amazing job.
Author's Response: Thank you that is very sweet.
Date: June 15, 2007 12:37 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
wow.....um did you by chance happen to write the upside down in the rain kiss for the firt spiderman movie? Cuz, DANG that was H-O-T-T, hot. whew
Author's Response: Hahahahaha I WISH! That is a nice compliment, don't know if I deserve it, but thanks anyway! Glad you enjoyed it, there's more to come!
7 [Report This]Date: June 15, 2007 12:33 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
This was good, but a few suggestions:
Maybe next time, use a beta reader. You have a lot of spelling and punctuation errors in this. And in a few places, I noticed you changed from past to present tense. These things can easily be spotted on more proofreads of your story, or especially by a second set of eyes to look at your story. I hope you're not offended by this; I'm just trying to help.
Author's Response:
Not offended at all, I need the critisism. Like I said english it not my first language, and in my language we do have some other rules when it comes to punctuation, (that's my sad defense...:-)) so I can use the help. I'm going to go and proofread some more.
I appreciate the comment, thanks!
9 [Report This]Date: June 15, 2007 12:18 pm Title: Chapter 1 "Purple Orchid"
great first date so far! very steamy indeed, you write it very well!
Author's Response: Thank you this means a lot to me!