Date: January 13, 2008 09:10 am Title: Chapter 2: Alone
Wonderful. I love the different items mentioned that have no "Roy" attached to them, and her thought about being able to watch the sunrise - she's looking toward the future.
She looks at her path, and the path she left, and the path she chose not to take (yet). Wonderful. And yes, one of the best things about your own place is the ability to cry or be happy, nap or dance, without having to explain or justify it.
Just lovely, lis. I love your writing -- it's beautiful and it flows so nicely.
Author's Response: Thank you! I worry about flow...I think that's one of the reasons I write short pieces. It's easier to control. Yes, I like Pam here- still injured but not without hope. Thank you for the insightful comments!
Date: January 12, 2008 08:07 pm Title: Chapter 2: Alone
I hate the imagined intruders when I'm alone at night.
I'm still just so taken with the sentences comparing before and after Roy. And yet "home" is still not where she's actually living. Poignant.
Author's Response: Yeah, I think it takes a while to think of the new place as "home" no matter the circumstances. And I also think Roy would have been after her all the time to "come home," which would have reinforced that in her head. But I love that you use the word "poignant" because that's what I was going for. She's in a new, better place (in her life, if not in her neighborhood), but it's still hard for her because of all she's lost (both Roy and Jim). Thank you!
Date: January 12, 2008 03:39 am Title: Chapter 2: Alone
Oh, the last line just killed me. I love your writing, nqllisi. I'm struggling here to describe it, but you have such a light and delicate touch but the end result has an elegance that a lot of writers need more words and a heavier hand to achieve. I know Pam's got more sleepless nights ahead, so I'm looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I worry that my pieces are usually too short, but I find that I'm most effective when I just write what I need to write and let the rest speak for itself. It's reassuring that you agree! Thank you so much, and there will be more, for sure!
Date: January 11, 2008 04:36 pm Title: Chapter 2: Alone
okay, yes that is a benefit of being alone. it really is a tricky benefit. i love being able to be alone and cry. but sometimes you also want someone to comfort you (um, jim!)
but, seriously, you made my pulse race with that mysterious noise she heard. i am such a wimp like that. like first day i moved into my apartment, i was alone, roomie hadn't moved in yet. i checked the locks like ten times, i had everything locked, and i was so nervous i couldn't sleep. i finally feel asleep exhausted.
Author's Response: I'm so sorry I never replied to this! I get a little jumpy when I'm home alone, too- but I've never actually lived alone in my whole life! So I think all of you who manage it are very brave. Thank you for your comments, as usual!
8 [Report This]Date: January 11, 2008 01:04 pm Title: Chapter 2: Alone
A very nice glimpse into Pam's first big step in a series of steps that will lead her to step across coals. :) I've always tried to imagine how lonely she must have been for that first little while.
Excellent job!
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! You know, the night after "Beach Games" isn't actually one of my 5 nights, but now I'm re-thinking. She really did have a long journey to take to get to the fire, didn't she?