Date: April 09, 2008 06:12 am Title: Chapter 15
Just…Awesome, girl7! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you on this chapter, but (in my defense…even though I kind of hate it when people do this;)), I was out of town this weekend and the NCAA tournament kind of ratcheted up to new highs (and, if you’re a UNC fan like me, unbearable lows)….so, I’m being a good fic reader and reviewing the stories I’ve been following now that I’m back to regularly scheduled programming.
So, first thing’s first: Jim’s dream. Holy jesus. I mean wow. So amazing. Despite the hot hot hotness, my favorite part has to be their pre-sex banter—the whole “stating the obvious” conversation just SCREAMS Jim and Pam. That also makes the whole day o’ flirting take on a new dimension—because I’m pretty sure (ok, I’m desperately hoping) that it’s going to pay off in the way I want it to.
My favorite part about this chapter (besides the amazing and long awaited dinner invitation that has me freaking out a little bit!) is the inner dialogue. Hilarious. Sick and wrong vs oh god. While it’s all gold, I’ll leave you with my favorite bit:
Does he shave in the shower, or does he do it in front of the sink? Does he use aftershave, or does he just splash cold water on his face? Does he sleep in pajama bottoms and a tee-shirt, or...less? Does he have a hairy chest, or just that line going from his belly button down? Does he kiss you at all during sex, or is it --
My those thoughts spiral downwards quite quickly there, Pam!
Awesome job, girl7!!!
Author's Response:
You are so sweet -- you owe me no apologies, woman! :o) (Sorry about UNC -- my husband's a fan, too, and he was bummed). Glad you enjoyed Jim's dream; I don't know what possessed me, other than the certainty that after a near-miss like what happened in the previous chapter, the poor boy would have to have sex on the brain, lol.
And yesshh...the thoughts are so quick to spiral down, aren't they? :oP
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 06, 2008 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 15
OMG OMG OMG - I'm STILL speechless...
more VERY soon i hope!
Author's Response:
Wow - speechless is nice. :o) And yeah, hopefully more soon -- depends on my week; you know how it goes....
Date: April 06, 2008 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 15
Oh, I love this ending to "Drug Testing" even more than the original - I didn't think that was possible!
I really like what you are doing with this piece. I re-read the whole thing at work on Friday (minus this latest chapter) and I just loved how it flowed and how the brothers really work with Jim. Just great job overall!
Author's Response:
Glad you liked it, Jenn; I hadn't intended on working in any of the later episodes, but I've found myself sort of falling into that.
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 06, 2008 08:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm sure I'll make more friends with this but
Do you ever get tired of writing the same story over and over again?
Most of your stories (and many of them 20k+ words) are virtually identical other than which episode its supposed to start after, and maybe "how many fictional brothers does Jim have". I could probably mix and match 5 different chapters from 5 different stories (here's the "jim and pam kiss but don't get together" chapter, here's the "jim has a heart to heart with FictionalHalpertBrother00", here's the "pam dumps roy/jim dumps karen" chapter, here's the smut) and make something completely legible. You're a better writer than this. Take a chance on a different kind of premise.
Author's Response:
I'm assuming your first question is rhetorical; in any case -- no, apparently not.
And wait a second...my stories are formulaic? They contain a lot of the same basic plot elements? *wide, blinking eyes* Wow, thank you so much for enlightening me, because I really just had no idea.
Seriously, while I'm open to constructive criticism (and you've obviously got some valid points), I'm not so much a fan of being condescended to.
Obviously, I'm well aware that a lot of my stuff is formulaic; I'm not claiming otherwise. I do this as a hobby, as a way of blowing off steam; occasionally I'll write something completely different, if the mood strikes me.
And while I appreciate your deigning to tell me I'm a "better writer than this," I hope you'll understand when I tell you that I'll write what I want to write, thanks.
My advice to you would be to read what you want to read; if you don't like my stuff, dont' read it.
Date: April 06, 2008 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 15
sooo good! cant wait for an update! :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much, slpchic!
10 [Report This]Date: April 06, 2008 06:49 pm Title: Chapter 15
First of all, Jim's dream was BEYOND HOT. Like I'm seriously over here dialing up my ceiling fan because that was SO freaking steamy. But you know what? It was also kind of sweet and reverent which is, of course, the killer combo that Jim brings to the table. Some of my favorite moments:
But he's seen that kind of fear before, knows it's not really fear at all so much as it's a kind of protracted anticipation -- in the same way that sometimes pain is really just an ache that's quick to alchemize into pleasure. That was just brilliantly and beautifully articulated. WOW.
It's a familiar smell; it's woven the fabric of his desire for years now. See? Right there is the sweetness that delivers the killing blow.
…breathing into his mouth the promise of an alternate universe -- a place where they could just slide down slowly together, tumbling into the heat and the darkness and all the things they've pretended not to see for far too long now. a[io[bjuupahnewnhajsdk. Sorry -- that bit officially overloaded my circuits. Jay-sus!
…behind his eyes, his hand is her, and the steam surrounding him is just desire made tangible. GUH. And now I need a drink. With lots of ice.
...How the hell am I supposed to let him know that it's okay now? That I wanna -- that I can't stand this anymore? Two words Pammy: JUMP HIM. Dinner, schminner I say. Take a page out of the Barry White handbook and just get it on. What is that old saying? "Life's short - eat dessert first." Can't think of a better way to do that than to indulge in a little (or a lot) of Jim first and then perhaps share a grilled cheese sandwich in bed later.
Perhaps the best thing about this chapter on the whole though was the way you slowly ratcheted up the tension and the anticipation in a zillion little moments that made for a very compelling installment. Not to sound too sleazy, but you've definitely got us all primed for the main event (if you'll forgive the expression). ;-) Can't wait for Chapter 16!
PS -- EWWW on the transcripts. Just EWWWWW.
Author's Response:
You leave the best reviews -- always so detailed and thoughtful; I really appreciate it. And I'm cracking up at your whole "JUMP HIM" advice. I think we'd all do it if we had the chance, no? :o) And sorry about the transcripts -- I just felt compelled to share, as they left me sitting there sort of speechlessly horrified.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 06, 2008 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 15
Aww, you made the panty-igniting 'hi' even more adorable! (Not to mention, loaded with UST!)
Seriously, girl7, it's a good thing you gave Jim some relief in the shower or I think you would be causing some serious vascular damage. Wow.
Author's Response: "Serious vascular damage" -- that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time, lisahoo. :o) Thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 06, 2008 04:33 pm Title: Chapter 15
Good lawd. Thank you for mailing that to me. Dang. OMG... am so emailing you about IMing...
Crazy beginning. Now you just need to write the real thing. Seriously. Do it. (TWSS)
Author's Response:
Heh - must go check my email. I know I'm pitiful for having never IM'd.... Shut it or I'll with hold the smut. LOL.
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 06, 2008 04:06 pm Title: Chapter 15
This was an amazing chapter, girl7. The sex-in-the-pool dream might have been enough, but then you have to go and recreate the infamous shower scene, which we can all visualize perfectly in our pervy little brains, thanks to Mr. Araki's silly movie.
I love how tense and awkward they are at the desk. The air just crackles between them. How telling that Jim already feels as if he "knows" her sexually since waking up in the middle of things, so to speak. And Pam having to deal with a freshly showered, scruff-sporting Halpert. So not fair!
It was fitting that you chose "Drug Testing" as the background for this day. First of all, Jim looks especially delish in that episode with the hair and the blue shirt. Secondly, due to the jinx, instead of discussing their feelings and the expected next step, they're forced to suppress their desires into longing looks and forced introspection. So the final "hi, hey" scene carries so much more weight than it did in canon. Hope that made sense. ;)
Author's Response:
Listen, I had no intention of writing the shower scene in, but I figured...well, I mean, let's be realistic: if he'd woken up at that point in the dream, he'd have had to...okay, so this just isn't going anywhere good, is it? LOL
It's great to hear you say that you liked DT as the background episode for this; I've said it in other review responses, but this has sort of turned into a kind of exploring the episodes in the context of Pam having left Roy and Jim having already confessed -- so instead of the heartbreaking angst at the table when Pam says, "You can tell me anything," we get a dinner invitation after the infamous Hi/Hey scene.
(And 'ho yes -- Jim did look rather yummy during that episode...)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 06, 2008 11:20 am Title: Chapter 15
Weeeeeeeeee! Dinner! I'm so excited!
Author's Response:
I know I always write them as having dinner at one place or the other, but I love the concept too much not to explore it. God knows I'd love to make dinner for Jim Halpert. What? :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 06, 2008 11:00 am Title: Chapter 15
wow, never IM'dbefore?? what planet are you from? haha J/K, J/K. Although you probably could have just watched Launch Party, since that's what the Office IMs look like. Anyhoo, just wanted to say that a sex DREAM does not lessen the angst. It's still a dream. But the dream was hot hot hottttt as hellll and kind of depressed me that we'll never get to see a Jam sex scene on the show (stupid documentary!!!). So I live vicariously through smutfics, even dream!smutfics. Good Times. Anyway, the end of the chap. is what made up for what seemed like endless angst to me. Amazing angst. But damn. I was just WAITING for you to throw us a frickin bone here and you totally did. THANK YOU!
I hope this 6:30 dinner is followed by dessert. and by dessert I mean sex. ;)
Keep up the AMAZING WORK! YAY!
Author's Response:
You know what's funny? Just as I was reading your review, my husband came into the bedroom and said, "I was thinking that I should enable the IM function on your laptop, so I could just IM you from downstairs -- 'Do you want to take a break and have lunch?' That sort of thing." LOL. Guess I'll be learning about IM. (But yes -- I've never texted either. It's insane; my husband's a director in the IT dept., yet I don't even know how to send a text message.)
So glad you liked this! And you have my word that Jim's dream will become a reality eventually (in a manner of speaking). I think the fact that we don't get to see all the good moments on the show is exactly why I started writing fanfic in the first place -- to fill in all the blanks. :o)
In short: You'll get your sex, sister. LOL. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 05, 2008 07:48 am Title: Chapter 14
I've been a bad reviewer lately, but trust me - I'm still reading. And checking for updates embarrassingly often. What can I add to the chorus of cheers? Like how you're interweaving canon with imagination - especially Michael's B'day - fabric softener is a powerful aphrodisiac, lol. And you also turned skating into a great metaphor - they really are on thin emotional ice at this point. Also, Jim watching Pam huddle with her mother, is a nice call back to that delicious little private smile he had overhearing them in SH. And so much more...but the point is: me likey. Now, Pam is in the car, he's giving her devourmenow-face and she's able to resist?!? Good lord! See, this is why you can write these long, sustained plots..and I can't ;-)
Author's Response:
Ah - no worries, my friend; I know how it is. :o) I mentioned in an earlier response that I originally hadn't intended to tie this back to any episodes, I got the idea to sort of explore some of the episodes from the vantage point of what's happened in this story -- like, how would Sexual Harassment have been different if he'd already confessed? And how would Drug Testing be post-confession/a few kisses/with single Pam? The more I thought about it, the more enamored I was with the notion of weaving in some of the episodes. (And, uh, Casino Night....? Well I have to revisit that, now don't I?) :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 03, 2008 01:33 pm Title: Chapter 14
Boy, a car has not been that exciting for me since high school and I wasn't even in this car! :P
Totally believable though now that Pam has a taste of the sexual angst again I don't think she'll be able to resist (as you hinted in your teaser).
You write the best sexual tension!!
Author's Response:
THanks so much! For some reason, I just love drawing out the tension between these two (almost as much as I love watching it on the show). And no, Pam will not be able to resist -- trust me. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 03, 2008 10:50 am Title: Chapter 14
wOw. that was just....WoW. i'm, uh....nope, can't talk. maybe later.
is it hot in here?
Author's Response: Heh -- speechless reviews make me happy. :o) Thanks so much!!
Date: April 02, 2008 08:36 pm Title: Chapter 14
Brilliant as ever. I love how integrated the s2 timeline with Michael's birthday into your story. The metaphor about them on the ice was absolutely perfect to sum up where they are at this point in your story.
I didn't think the last part stretched the bounds at all, it seemed perfectly in character to me. Pam's had a massive upheaval and I can totally see her, despite her growing independence, still hesitating at moving fast.
Looking forward to more!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much -- the ice skating metaphor just came out of nowhere, so I went with it. :o) And thanks for your feed back re: the last part. I know there are varying perspectives on Pam and how she'd have handled such a thing, but I've always been inclined to believe that she'd go very slowly and cautiously, given (as you said) the massive upheaval she's undergone.
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 02, 2008 08:35 pm Title: Chapter 14
cant wait for an update. love it! great chapter!
Author's Response: So glad you liked it -- thanks for taking the time to review!
Date: April 02, 2008 07:15 pm Title: Chapter 14
Girl7 -- first of all -- Michael's birthday is made of awesome. I loved how you wove it into your timeline. How intimate it is to buy fabric softener together, and just stupid stuff.
And Pam's fear taking over, and Jim's continuing to paralyze him -- so true to their S2 characters. Painful, but true.
Author's Response:
You know, when I initially started this, I had no intention of sticking to the episodes or including elements from them, but as this has progressed, I've found myself really enjoying the idea of exploring how different things would've been had Jim confessed -- of presenting the happy/steamy moments where we (on the show) saw angsty ones as a result of Pam's staying engaged to Roy.
And I have big plans for Casino Night. *evil Kevin grin*
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 02, 2008 04:52 pm Title: Chapter 14
Oatmeal!!!
...Just had to break up the tension...whew!
Author's Response:
Hee - would you believe that I actually did that once? Swear to god -- it's a long story, but when I was in college, I briefly dated my R.A. Only at first I was trying to resist him because -- oh hell, I can't remember why. Anyway, we were sitting on his couch one night, and he got this look like he was about to kiss me, so I just blurted, "Oatmeal!"
...Yeah, why I feel compelled to share these idiot details of my life is beyond me. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: April 02, 2008 01:22 pm Title: Chapter 14
aaaaaah girl7, you never cease to amaze me. i read this early this morning and i had to decompress (especially after the last scene...whoa momma!) and let it all sink in before writing a review. i love this. i love all your stuff, really. i feel the need to tell me that when i found this site, the first author that really got to me, that really made me love this couple, was you. i read away from the cameras first, and dannnng. the rest has been history. anywho, i loved this update, especially pam blushing furiously as jim tells her that her mom is just being polite. too cute! sooo great! just the right mix of flirty and teasing. god, these two are awesome...but not as awesome as you for making them so alive on my page! seriously, my nose was like pressed against the screen by the end here. ok, annnnnnnnd scene.
Author's Response:
Wow -- thank you so much!! Seriously, it's terrific to hear that you're enjoying this and that you've liked some of my other stuff. :o) I had a lot of fun writing the scene with Pam's mother, and for some reason, I think Jim would be so quick to tease her if her mom ever was that blatant about Pam's feelings for him. :o)
Thanks so much for your review!
Date: April 02, 2008 09:06 am Title: Chapter 14
Well, I don't want to smack Pam as much as shake her hand, since she is obviously a much stronger woman than I am. :) And I have no idea how Jim is going to be able to drive home now. He may inadvertently drive into Lake Scranton, 'cause that's how distracted that boy is right now.
Yeah, yeah, I understand about this "taking it slow" business. But seriously, two months? That's 60 nights she's missed out on, that she'll never get back.
All right, I'll try to be more patient since I know you always deliver the goods.
You did a lovely job with incoroporating all the canon storylines in here. The Packer-Jim confrontation was an added bonus, and yes, extremely hot.
Author's Response:
Yes ma'am -- you make an excellent point: sixty nights she could've been with Jim Halpert. You have my word that Pam will make up for lost time -- and will make it up to Jim (the whole torturing-him-for-years thing). :o)
Glad you liked the Packer confrontation -- it's one of those things I was a little worried about, because I didn't want this to be too melodramatic. But I couldn't resist....
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 02, 2008 08:30 am Title: Chapter 14
You have left me wanting more. I am currently cursed with a case of Fancy Pants because of this story. Don't worry, it should go away in a few minutes, if I stop reading your fanfic, that is.
Author's Response:
Your review just made me giggle -- a case of Fancy Pants, eh? :O) Glad this left you wanting more -- that's the whole evil plan, muwhahahaa!
Seriously -- thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: April 02, 2008 06:39 am Title: Chapter 14
Squeeeeeeeeee! That is all.
Author's Response: Hee -- I'll take it! :o) Thanks!
Date: April 02, 2008 06:07 am Title: Chapter 14
She reisited him now but hopefully not much longer as you hint. Can't wait for the next chapter. Her mom was too cute.
Author's Response:
No, she won't be resisting him much longer; I promise. :o) And yeah, I had fun writing her mom.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: March 30, 2008 09:17 pm Title: Chapter 13
OK, like Pam, I was a just a little distracted when you described how Jim leaned on the counter with bare forearms and "deliciously tousled" hair! I need to get out more!
Seriously, this was another great transitional chapter where you gave us even more insight into their mindset post-breakup. Isn't Jim sweet to agree to give Pam away when according to Michael that is the same as saying ILY?! Oh, and I like how Pam is taking it slow, although I think I like your version (in which Jim is only alone for a few days and then gets to observe the change) better than the show's angsty version (in which Jim is tortured for months, wondering why Pam never calls...).
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response:
You know, sometimes I'll be writing a physical description of Jim, and I'll find myself just drifting into my JK lust; I have to be careful. :o) And would you believe that I did not even pick up on the ILY significance?? This is one of the reasons I love reading reviews -- you guys often pick up on stuff I hadn't even thought about, but would love to claim to have planned! :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: March 28, 2008 08:31 pm Title: Chapter 12
Wow. You actually made me want her to stay with Roy for a minute there! I've never seen a Pam/Roy breakup written so believably before. Usually Roy is angry, but we never get to see him upset at the relationship ending, which is so much more authentic.
Excellent job. Now I need to see more Pam & Jim together so I can be happy again! :)
Author's Response:
Wow -- I really appreciate your comments! I'm so glad you found Roy's reaction believable. I've always written him as immediately angry when she breaks up with him, then sort of slowly winding down to being upset, so writing him like this felt...I don't know, unusual to me. I worried that I was trying to get through the scene too fast or something -- so it's doubly nice to read your kind words about it. :o)
And more happy Jim & Pam together is on its way -- promise! :o)
Thanks for reviewing!