Reviews For The Internship
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Reviewer: variella Signed [Report This]
Date: August 03, 2008 06:32 am Title: Jackson

This made me laugh- I begged my parents to name my little sister after me when she was born and was furious when the wouldn't!

FWIW, if my husband was away and asked to speak to the child without saying anything to me first, he'd be in trouble when the phone got handed back to me! But maybe that just got left out... ;)

I like it so far- I'm thinking you probably want constructive criticism, so my comment is that I like (really like) your plot, the way you're writing Jim and Pam, and the opportunity you've got with them being separated; SO much story material there. It's far less detailed than what I usually read, but you seem to know everyone so well it feels like you're holding back on us in order to keep things moving. In other words, the pace is great but I'd love more elaboration of, say, how Jim's interaction with coworkers contributed to his mood at the end of the day... he'd be working with interns that are probably younger than him, or his more laid back personality doesn't fit in well.

I'll have to read further to see if the comments are still relevant- and by the way, I like the premise of the story so much it was hard to stop reading long enough to leave a comment!

Author's Response: First off, thank you so much for you comment. I wish I could get more comments like this, because I'm looking to improve my writing, and I think I can learn a lot from what my readers have to say. Thank you.rnrnIt's hard for me to write details, and I'm sure you can tell by my story that I'm just an amateur....very amateur. I came up with this great idea for a story about a future internship for Jim, and I find myself struggling to write it how I see it in my head. I think I skip the details because I *do* want the story to progress fast, so I can get in everything that is going through my head. Proof-go read the last chapter...I had so many things I wanted to write, so there aren't *ANY* details. rnrnNeedless to say, I won't be quitting my day job. Hopefully if I continue to write Fanfic, I can improve upon writing details. I'm sure working on it!rnrnThanks, again.

Reviewer: ISayOye Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24, 2008 08:21 pm Title: Jackson

Why was Pam crying?

Reviewer: dreamscribe70 Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: April 24, 2008 07:52 pm Title: Jackson

Very cute... nice cliffhanger- I hope that nothings wrong though... can't wait to read the rest!

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