1 [Report This]Date: November 09, 2017 12:13 pm Title: Shipping Out
About nine years late to the party but this is fantastic, very different but still very emotional and romantic, I will definitely be rereading this one and will surely find something new each time.
Sadly I'm too late to enjoy the multimedia aspects of this fic but should you see this and should you still have those extras we wanted to offer our help in getting it back online so this story can be enjoyed more fully. Just let me know!
Date: November 02, 2008 05:53 pm Title: Shipping Out
Sweetpea,
The synopsis for your story had caught my eye many a time while I came here and I finally had the time to check out your story. My kids are tucked up in bed and I have spent the last hour or so submerged in your story. It surrounded me and pulled me in and made the rest of the world melt away. It is unlike any fanfiction I have ever read.
I loved the way you characterized Jim and Pam in this story. When he was reading to his class I saw shades of "Office Olympics" Jim. A Jim who was excited and passionate about what he was doing. It was also very refreshing to see what Pam could be without a decade of suffocation from Roy. They seemed like the characters we know, but brought keenly into focus.
This story was creative, challenging, passionate and romantic and I know it's one that I will read and re-read.
Thank you.
Author's Response:
Beeswax, this is me giving you a giant virtual hug for this wonderful review! You know, I think you captured what I was trying to do with these characters in an A/U better than I could have ever summed up. I love the way you described reading this, too! I miss writing this already and I experienced such a letdown when it was finished. I like to think that I've challenged myself in some small way with each story. This was a big one! (TWSS) I'm so glad you enjoyed it and re-reading is a huge compliment. Thank you so much for such great feedback and I hope I see you again.
10 [Report This]Date: October 29, 2008 09:29 am Title: Shipping Out
Ahh. I am sure you're going to get amazing, insightful, intelligent comments about this epilogue and about the story as a whole. Sadly, this is not one of them. This is, instead, an expression of thanks from someone who has feasted on this and been satisfied. What you've created and what you've left out form something whole and beautiful and balanced. Wonderful.
Author's Response: nqllisi, this is exactly what I expect from your stories: beautifully clear, honest, and concise thought and emotion. It was my absolute pleasure. I knew this story wasn't going to appeal to everyone but I really wanted to make something special for anyone who chose to read. I'm so glad you were one. Thank you so much.
Date: October 29, 2008 06:14 am Title: Shipping Out
A very creative and entertaining tribute to two geniuses.
*loud ovation*
I enjoyed this so much, thanks for putting in what I'm pretty certain were long hours on this one - a labor of love, no doubt.
PS - The pic/bio of Halpert the writer made me snork big time.
Author's Response:
Truly a labor of love, jazzfan. Now that it's done and I've had a couple nights to relax, I just want to do it all over again and do it better. Ugh.
Thank you so much for reading, I'm thrilled you enjoyed it and thank you for letting me know.
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 07:26 am Title: Shipping Out
This is such a gorgeous story. There's too much to even quote for you, but I'll say this: as if any girl would do. As if you could forget. really hit home. And that's just one tidbit of the many in this piece.
The last paragraph is perfect, also.
I guess now I need to read me some DFW. I haven't gotten on that train yet. Anyway, this is original and heartfelt and so well-written! I can't wait to see how you wrap it all up. :)
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for this, callisto! I should apologize to everyone for digging into their book budgets, but it will be money well spent if it's for DFW and/or Neruda!
It was a thin line to walk to bring Jim out of his grief - a real challenge not to undercut the intense feelings from the first couple chapters but to give him some hope and happiness without it tying it up too neatly - the lines you quoted, I liked those a lot and I think they helped to bridge that gap between grief-stricken and moving on. I suppose it might have been a little easier if I'd stretched this out for a few more chapters, but I liked the challenge of telling a complete and deeply emotional story in just a few chapters. Now just for the epilogue and I truly hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for such a great review!
10 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2008 08:17 pm Title: Shipping Out
Once again, I'm nearly at a loss as to what to write for a review. This was beautiful. His talking about how he grieved was just heartbreaking, but hopeful.
I have read, to my embarrassment, the chapter with her sitting on his lap with her filthy mouth and them talking about the dog more times than I can count. "I let my dog judge me". I love it.
I can't even consider this 'fanfiction', Sweetpea. That doesn't do this justice. Not that fanfiction isn't writing in it's own right, but this is so much more. This is art. It's beautiful and perfect and amazing. Thank you for this story.
Author's Response:
Oh, kells! You make my heart soar with the eagle's nest! What an incredible review.
This was a tough chapter and I had a mini meltdown over IM with Lovefool. [Note: I did not go out on a ledge of any kind!] I was freaking out over how much this chapter had to do. It had to show Jim coming out of grieving - but not too fast and not too easily or I betray everything I did in the first chapters. It had to show a bit of Jim and Pam's new relationship - but not too much to turn it into a sappy or typical fanfic moment, either. (I kept telling Lovefool: THERE WILL BE NO VIOLINS!) Those things had to be done while transitioning from second to first person. I love the term "unreliable narrator" and to me it just fit Jim in this story so perfectly. I read a bit in the forward of the book Soul Mountain about the use of the second person after I wrote the first three chapters that just knocked me out. In that story, the "you" is a fractured part of the authorial self that the protagonist creates because he is on an intensely lonely journey and needed company. Man, I loved that, and realized that that also fit this story. I saw the "you" as the reader, also, so we get to see that Jim is writing to help him through his grief and basically talking to the reader. Whew! Anyway, it was a challenge and it was fun!
I really hope you enjoy the epilogue, aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this weekend! Thank you so much for such wonderful comments. :-*
Date: October 19, 2008 12:14 pm Title: Shipping Out
P.S. I had formating issues with my review that I can't seem to fix. Sorry!
Date: October 19, 2008 11:58 am Title: Shipping Out
Wow! This is fantastic! Obviously I have been remiss in not reading until now, but I'm almost glad I didn't because I can't wait to read more, and now I don't have to wait! :)
Author's Response:
I remember having the same reaction when I found "Garbage Can Letter" Azlin! So glad you're enjoying this and thank you so much for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: October 13, 2008 08:46 am Title: Shipping Out
THIS STORY IS SO BRILLIANT, I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Hey, hey, HEY! Quiet down, now, PN! ;-) You put a big smile on my face with this and chapter 4 is ripening right now, just like Dwight's cervix. Thank you and stay tuned!
7 [Report This]Date: October 13, 2008 06:49 am Title: Shipping Out
Honestly, didn't think I'd enjoy this, but I do =) I can't wait to see where you go with this.
Author's Response: No better compliment than that, Hannah, thank you! Several months ago when the idea for this story first started germinating in my head, it was a pretty traditional type of love story, but then my head was completely ratcheted around, so it's coming out way different than originally intended. I'm glad I was open to it, because I haven't enjoyed writing this much in a long, long time.
10 [Report This]Date: October 12, 2008 01:37 pm Title: Shipping Out
Hi, Sweetpea!
I'm a big fan of your work, especially "Allentown," but I just wanted to say how much I'm loving this story so far. Usually, a /other isn't my cup of tea, since it gives me unsettling feelings to think that Pam or Jim could actually be that in love wiht someone else (I guess that's why it's fiction), but there were so many glowing reviews on the MB that I had to check your story out. The Jim in this story is so believable as the dorky/hot guy teacher in HS that everyone had (except me). Unfortunately, my high school teachers were mostly crotchety old ladies, but once I got to college, profs like these sprung up everywhere. I'm glad I decided to read, and I can't wait to see where it's going. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Hey, Mountaineers! So nice to see you here again! You know, it's a great compliment when someone says 'normally I don't like this kind of thing, but...' so thank you very much for that! I've really loved writing this story and I think it's going to be one more chapter and a short epilogue to bring it home. I hope you keep reading and thank you so much for commenting!
Date: October 11, 2008 11:37 pm Title: Shipping Out
Okay, first of all...I have to say that this may be the best fanfiction I have ever read. ever.
Second of all....I have to know...who did the translations of your Neruda poems? They are by-far the best I have ever encountered.
Author's Response:
First, KatieKoo, wow, that's really a wonderful compliment and thank you so much!
Second, I am screwed. </Michael> I could maybe retrace my steps to credit the translators, which is such a huge oversight on my part. I feel awful about that and I can't believe I didn't have the presence of mind to do it at the time. I can tell you that all of my sources are online and I can tell you that I spent several days researching. The interview JKras gave mentioned sonnets, specifically, so I started there and researched several poets. I got a little discouraged and even had a change of heart about doing poetry at all and started thinking (and talking to colette) about doing a novel within the story. Anyway, I finally settled on Neruda after finding Sonnet XI and Sonnet XVII and The Song of Despair. Here's where it goes fuzzy - I found these poems on several sites. Some were bilingual, some were strictly in English. I read several versions of each one until I felt comfortable with all the words and felt that I'd seen them repeated in enough places that they were commonly accepted and used. I'assume you know these poems in their original Spanish. I'd love to know more about the differences in your reactions to these poems based on the language. Anyway, I'm pleased you think I've chosen well since I simply followed my gut.
Thank you so much for commenting and I hope you stick around - one more chapter and a short epilogue will do it, I think!
10 [Report This]Date: October 02, 2008 11:01 am Title: Shipping Out
I can't wait for the next chapter. You write like poetry! It's just a plus there is actual poetry, too. XD
Author's Response: So kind, inthestars, thank you so much! Next chapter coming soon, so I hope to see you then.
Date: September 28, 2008 10:27 pm Title: Shipping Out
Okay I was a little iffy about this fic because my favorite fic of all time is Learning to Live Again by italianfood, but your winning me over. The formating of this story is also awakening the former english major in me....can't wait for more
10 [Report This]Date: September 27, 2008 06:49 pm Title: Shipping Out
sweetpea, I've been waiting for this story since you mentioned it and I have to say, it does NOT disappoint. Beautiful writing, amazing premise, poetry, FOOTNOTES! (I love the footnotes!) It's just wonderful. I've read it in a bit of a rush, but I'm going to come back and give you more details. For now -- just carry on. Great stuff.
Author's Response: I'm so pleased with the positive response to the footnotes! There is more really beautiful Neruda to come - such a master. Thanks so much for your kind words, wendolf!
9 [Report This]Date: September 27, 2008 05:39 pm Title: Shipping Out
"You remember bits of her chalk notes on complementary angles superimposed on her sweater after you’d pressed her back to the board. You remember thinking that it had been so long coming, that kiss, that you’d circled each other in a holding pattern forever, so awkward for grown-ups."
"At the end of each day, you made a desperate turn for the house, not thinking to stop for food or clean shirts at the laundry, just rushing back after holding your breath for the entire day.
Here in the house you could stand in her closet and bury your face in her dresses and sweaters. You didn’t have to pretend that you weren’t dead yourself and you could miss her and long for her as much as you almost couldn’t stand and not be ashamed when grief bowed your back. "
"You’d managed to go on living and you lived long enough to stop wishing that you just wouldn’t. "
Since I have no words to tell you how much I loved this, I decided to quote some of my most favorite parts. Then I realized that would mean I would be quoting the whole thing, so I decided to just quote my top 3.
Author's Response: Wow, kaystar. Thank you so, so much. I'll admit to loving the image of him in the closet. So heartbreaking to me and so real - when we grieve we'll do anything to get that feeling of closeness back. The timing for all this angst probably couldn't be worse, considering what's going on with the show - but that's what I get for mulling this over for months. Glad you're enjoying - more soon.
10 [Report This]Date: September 23, 2008 12:12 pm Title: Shipping Out
OMG, so beautiful and sad! I'm crying!
Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Cheer up, PN! Chapter 2 was just posted! Thank you so much for reading and for the review!
Date: September 22, 2008 08:08 pm Title: Shipping Out
Like "Allentown", this too will become a classic in the fic-dom. I can already tell. That's how amazing your writing is. Hope you find time during this exciting premiere week to give us more.
Author's Response: Premiere week did me in, EH!! I had the second chapter written, but I wasn't 100% happy with it, so it pretty much was rewritten from start to finish. I'm thinking this one's going to top out at 5 chapters. Chapter 3 is about halfway done, but I've picked up this terrible rewrite habit from Stablergirl without her speed! I feel too guilty if I don't, so updates will be regular, at or less than a week. Thank you so much for this - you're so good to me!
Date: September 22, 2008 07:43 pm Title: Shipping Out
[b]Sweetpea[/b], you're back! The fanfic world is a better one with you in it. I had to read this chapter twice because I read it distractedly at work this morning and knew I missed about eight million reasons why it was awesome. And the first time I read it I totally thought Sarah had dumped Jim, but now I see that maybe she has died? Anyways, I love it that you didn't totally spell it out. And I hope Mr. Halpert will move to a new town and meet a shy, yet wickedly funny Art teacher at the new school. Who just happens to be named Pam. Or maybe she could be an employee at a bookstore. I'm sure your idea is much, much better than mine.
However, I must say, while I could certainly imagine John Krasinski being an English teacher, I kind of have to suspend disbelief at Jim Halpert being an English teacher. Dude couldn't even read Angela's Ashes! But...I'm willing to take the leap because I know you will deliver a great story in the end.
Can't wait to see where this goes!
Author's Response: Oh, sudzy, it's so good to be back and thank you so much for the great welcome. I got a good chuckle out of Jim not reading AA, but I think it's interesting to imagine who Jim Halpert might be if there'd never been a Dunder Mifflin. So have a seat and let me get you a cocktail. This isn't going to be a super-long flight, but I want you to be comfortable for the trip. Good to see you again!
10 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2008 11:21 am Title: Shipping Out
I'm an AU whore, so when I checked the archive for updates today and saw and AU by you, I felt like Dwight at a Battlestar Gallactica convention. I love how much emotion you put into so little words. This is such a beautiful piece of literature and I think you should get paid to write fanfic all day long. I'll put that on my Christmas list. ;)
Author's Response: elly, I hope you've been very good this year, because how awesome would that be? Paid to write fanfic? Only the best dealio of all time. And Dwight at a BG convention? Shut your mouth! Thank you so much for such a fabulous and fun review. I hope you keep reading!
Date: September 22, 2008 11:00 am Title: Shipping Out
Sometimes you just know when a story is going to blow your mind, and from this very first line: It's August and it's time for you to go but the light is all wrong for leaving...
I knew.
When you first came to me with the idea for this story, you know how excited I was about it, and to be honest it's surpassed (in your very first chapter) what I even hoped it could be. I've already said this to you, but I think the most wonderful thing about it is that even though you're paying homage to DFW, it is still so CLEARLY Sweetpea. And Sweetpea is pretty damn awesome.
Anyone who pens a line about a man pulling a strand of hair from a hairbrush and winding it around his finger until the circulation is cut off.....does NOT need awesome lessons.
Wow. Wow and more wow. You make a beta's job way too easy.
Author's Response:
I don't even know what to say to this. You're such a good friend. Without getting all mushy and stuff, thank you.
10 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2008 10:59 am Title: Shipping Out
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. There's more right?
Author's Response: Wendy Blue!! I was JUST thinking about you! So, so good to see you here and yes, there will be more. In the middle of all the giddy season 5 stuff, I will have more footnotes and death. Humor too! There will be humor! Thank you so much for this!
Date: September 22, 2008 10:01 am Title: Shipping Out
You already know how much I loved the idea for this story, but you blew me away with the execution.You've written Jim, in another time/place/persona - yet, still vividly Jim. And, with just a few well-chosen details, created another - prep school - world (footnote #1, the description of faculty meetings)...a whole sense of place. And then you had to throw in that Neruda poem and him burying his face in her clothes? Oh, my heart!
Here's what I love best: you started with a solid, original idea and then you didn't just tell us about it, you WROTE it. You took care with the words, phrasing and rhythm of the language - you don't just give us paragraphs explaining how he feels, you used language to lushly evoke it. Your last sentence is case in point.
Chapter 2 is now my carrot.
(Btw, did you ever read Faulkner's Light in August? Great book. Not so much related to this, but for the powerful description of that particular late summer light.)
Author's Response:
Good grief, does it get any better than this? NOPE. Yeah, those are the best comments for a writer to hear, ever, at least this writer. Thank you so much for entertaining my ramblings and offering suggestions. When someone like you is in my corner, no way I want to disappoint.
I love Faulkner (file that under 'shit you don't hear too often') but I've not read that one. Will file away for the future! Thanks so much for being an inspiration and a cheerleader.
10 [Report This]Date: September 22, 2008 09:40 am Title: Shipping Out
Shut. up. I have been waiting my fanfiction life for this story and wow did it not disappoint...so far, the phrase which of course just makes everything better because anticipation is very much my friend ;-) You are amazing and this story is fantastic. So carefully written and completely lucious. I love love love it. Well done.
Author's Response:
MWAH! Thank you! You continue to be an inspiration for me. You and your big and sexy mojo fanfic stick. :-*
Date: September 22, 2008 07:04 am Title: Shipping Out
Nice tribute to DFW.
I especially liked this bit:
Here in the house you could stand in her closet and bury your face in her dresses and sweaters. You didn’t have to pretend that you weren’t dead yourself and you could miss her and long for her as much as you almost couldn’t stand and not be ashamed when grief bowed your back.
Author's Response: How I love reading favorite bits, jazzfan and that was one of mine, too. One of the few that tumbled out without having to be coaxed and promised a cookie! I'm so glad you think it's a nice tribute - I definitely had some doubts going into it - whether I could do anything remotely worthy or how it might be perceived. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I hope to hear from you again.