Date: October 23, 2008 10:37 am Title: This is Water
Don't feel pressured- this is your vision and your gift to us. We must accept it gratefully. And I am grateful, because this chapter, too, is beautiful.
Author's Response: You put a lump in my throat, nqllisi! Thank you so much for this sweet comment. It's reassuring and gratifying to know you're reading and enjoying and I'm grateful to you for saying so! :-*
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 02:20 pm Title: This is Water
I resisted reading this, because I'm trying to stay away from WIPs, but clearly, today, i gave in. And I'm glad I did. This story is gorgeous. I love the style, how you showed the documentary format, the footnoting, and really, just how you have drawn these characters so simply but so very vividly. Your stories always tend to have such a tangible quality. I love that and I love this.
Author's Response:
albie, what a wonderful thing to read! Thank you so much for this and for breaking your rule on WIPs. I totally understand that one - I've had my heart broken more than once after reading a few chapters of a story that was never finished! Never fear, I would die from the guilt and besides, I've put so much into this so far, I have to finish it!
I'm so glad you've enjoyed this and thank you so much for letting me know! Epilogue coming!
10 [Report This]Date: October 20, 2008 10:22 pm Title: This is Water
Where is my mind? I read this when it was posted and I could've swore I left a review but I checked today to edit it and apparently, I didn't! Okay, enough random EllaBella story hour, on to the review! I love this story more than Creed loves mung beans. Seriously. I'm sad that this story is coming to an end because I won't have anything new from you to look forward to and that makes me cry a little on the inside. So, for the good of the fandom, please write more soon! :D
Author's Response:
Elly, you never fail to crack me up! Trust me, I've promised lisahoo and EverybodyHurts some smut so many times now, if I don't deliver after this they're going to start calling me a big fic-tease!
I'm so glad you've enjoyed this. Even though everyone says we write for ourselves...yes, yes, we write for ourselves, for sure...what good would it be without readers and feedback? It would be me jumping around my living room, pathetic and alone, fist-pumping like Dwight in the stairwell, after I finished a chapter. So you save me from that pitiful fate!
I hope you enjoy the epilogue and meet me in the gutter after this! :-*
10 [Report This]Date: October 20, 2008 09:23 pm Title: This is Water
Stunning. As always, but also more than usual ;-) I loved this so much, loved the bit about the tenses and the neruda tie in's and everything about it. Well well done, sweatpea. (that's spelled right, right?...)
Author's Response: Sweatpea, Smuckers, whatever! I saw your post in the fanfic thread where you were strongly encouraging people to read and review. You're so sweet (and bossy) - I knew this story wasn't going to threaten anyone's spot on the Top Ten list (*cough*Famous*cough*) but it IS nice to know people like it, so thank you! :-*
Date: October 20, 2008 05:56 am Title: This is Water
Oh my, this was the best chapter yet. I think you're writing the grief reactions incredibly well. The title fits.
Author's Response:
Those three words are so inspirational, jazzfan, and I'm so glad you think the title fits! Bringing Jim out of his grief and reacquainting him with the world was a challenge, but I'm pleased you think it works. I loved the last line of the second Neruda to indicate that he's ready: Let's bring the wood and make fire on the mountain. Thanks, Pablo!
Thanks so much for reading and letting me know you enjoyed - I appreciate it!
10 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2008 08:12 pm Title: This is Water
Wowza. This was so hot, and so beautiful, and... just wow. That Neruda poem is hot as hell, too. Seriously, I already ordered "Brief Interviews" from Amazon, now I'm gonna have to get some Neruda. You're doing horrible things to my bank account, you know. :)
"I fix the lock on my bedroom door and I let my dog judge me." That's my favorite line. I, too, have an aversion to getting laid in front of animals, so I loved that whole exchange.
Just an epilogue left, huh? But then where will I get names to add to my Must Reads list?! :)
Author's Response:
Awww, Corking, this was the sweetest - honestly! That was the Neruda poem that started it all! I sent it to Lovefool and said, "Holy crap, READ THIS!" Funny, that poem had many different places in this story. It was originally in Chapter 1, then I had Pam overhearing it from the hallway, then I had it in a footnote of Chapter 3. I never imagined Pam giving it to Jim to say, "COME ON! You need to let yourself go and give me a little more - I'm dyin' here!" but I think it worked out okay!
I totally have the same thing with the dog in the room! I don't know where that line came from but it does seem to be a favorite and it just plopped out of my brain - no forcing! As far as a reading list goes, there is a Books thread in the forums - you should check it out! Thank you so much for such a great review - I really appreciate it.
10 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2008 06:17 pm Title: This is Water
I have no words, amazing!!!!!!
Author's Response: Hannah, thank you so much for being a faithful reader and reviewer. I truly appreciate it and I hope you like the epilogue, too! Coming soon!
Date: October 19, 2008 05:08 pm Title: This is Water
So, uh, I probably should have been reviewing this whole time, because this is wonderful, and also because I am madly in love with Pablo Neruda, and it excites me so much that you know who his is and love him too!
This is beautiful. Absolutely lovely. I love, love, love it.
Author's Response: bashert, thank you so much for this and it's wonderful to find another Neruda fan - y'all really came out of the woodwork here! Before I started writing this, I only had limited knowledge of his work, but wow! It's not only wonderful, but HUGE and varied and just the absolute flesh and blood of what I think is wonderful writing. I can't even explain how much I've enjoyed writing this and I'm so pleased you're enjoying. Thank you!
Date: October 19, 2008 01:59 pm Title: This is Water
I've really been enjoying this, It's wonderful.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, iwantphillyjim! I'm so glad you like it and I'm glad you let me know!
Date: October 19, 2008 12:16 pm Title: This is Water
You have irrevocably broken my brain. I don't know where to begin, because there's just so MUCH here. From the commentary on the shifting 1st/2nd person voice (1), to the precise, but simple language, to what a sensitive and freaking interesting character study this is...and it's romantic as hell to boot.
AU rarely convinces me like this - this story feels like a place - a literal and emotional place. And it's seamless and complete (and by complete I don't mean length, I mean that intangible sense of truth and fullness that make it alive.) I could quote a dozen great lines from this chapter alone, but that's almost besides the point. I love how you've threaded the poems through - they feel integral, not mannered, and that's hard to pull off.
Now, you know I need to comment on that unspeakably sexy, funny, touching section that begins, so aptly: Saturday morning on 30 minutes of sleep.Woa. And this may be the hottest line ever written: She takes off my glasses and I get an erection. Not just for the literal ref, but also for the notion of anticipation and letting go and the implication of trust in not seeing clearly. And if this doesn't beautifully and succinctly nail new, unexpected love, I don't know what does: ...and I want nothing more than to lean into her and close my eyes.
Okay, this review is totally rambling stream of ubnoxiousness. What more can I tell you? What a perfect last line. I can't possibly top that, so I'll just stop. Right here.
(1) Did you ever read A Book of Common Prayer by Joan Didion? Major novel for me, and (though I know you had DFW on your mind) there are elements here that remind me of it. She begins by explaining her limitations/idiosyncrasies as the story's narrator (basically telling you neither omniscense nor objectivity interst her) and she ends with perhaps my favorite ending ever of a novel: "I have not been the witness I wanted to be." Anyway, that comparison is a big compliment. Seriously.
Author's Response:
I don't know if I can even respond to this! First, it's YOU. DUH. Second, YOU PUT A FREAKING FOOTNOTE IN THIS REVIEW!!!! Best. Thing. Ever! I'm so grateful.
I know what a huge influence Didion has been for you and that is just the ultimate compliment to me. I've only read The year of Magical Thinking - which I admit now to borrowing two words from in Chapter 1. I was so mesmerized by the concept that I think we all do - that if we just engage in the right kinds of thoughts or rituals, we can make magic and bring someone back from the dead - but I'd never heard/read it given a name. I could never be as concise as she is (or you are) but I aspire to that level of precise word choice. Just beautiful.
Thank you so much for thinking the poems flow and don't stick out like a 7th grade book report! I was so worried about that.
And thank you for the detail and quotes! Gosh, I'm so chuffed you liked the glass/erection line! I was so happy with that! I tinkered with the kitchen scene quite a bit (why do I always have them ending up getting naked in the kitchen? What is that?) so I'm pleased you liked that bit. And yes...30 minutes of sleep. The mind reels.
I should hope to write a last line as perfect as the last line of Didion's you quoted. God, that is perfection. She and DFW both give me so many things to marvel at in sheer awe.
Thank you so much, my friend. Means the world to me.
10 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2008 12:13 pm Title: This is Water
Sweetpea! I was giddy to see an update to my current favorite just as I was about to log off. I mean it when I say that you never disappoint. This chap was simply luscious. I could so relate to the "Grieving for Dummies" initial paragraph. So true. The repetition of "as if you could forget" was hypnotic. On a happy note, I was pleasantly surprised that Pam got Jim into bed. How fabulous! So happy that she didn't let him implode and drew him out of himself. Their relationship is so satisfying and realistic to me as a reader. Your little bits of humor really tickle me (I can relate to the whole dog/sex thing). And Jim handing Pam a journal made me breathless. Since I now almost always feel the need to quote my favorite passages from a loved story, here we go: -Sarah jumped out of the past without warning at weird times and she rarely whispered; -…if it had been left up to me, well, I think we both know this story would have had a lot more Scotch and much less plot; -Masks off then, no crutch and no bullshit.-I kept the dry cleaning receipt as a reminder, tacked up on the cork board over my desk at home. It’s a reminder to stay open, keep the boundaries porous; - It was so hard to let go of myself and all my exquisite grief! and, - Life merges, the water commingles and I breathe out. Sonnet XI, the preceding paragraph and the paragraph about their new sex life? You convey more in a few paragraphs than just about anyone. It really is a talent. The eroticism of that section was spectacularly yummy : ) I fix the lock on the bedroom door and I let my dog judge me. LOVE that! Reading about Pam in an apron makes me think of another baby of yours, She's a Candle... We know what Jim thought about that image at that time, and I'm sure this Jim digs it, too. Love this free-spirit Pam! -Before you can say ‘how predictable’ let me be the first to acknowledge that the love-of-a-good-woman-saving-a-broken-man theme is somewhat overdone, especially in poetry and country songs. Awesome ending. I want to say that I’m looking forward to the epilogue but that would mean this is done :( Oh well...I'm looking forward to the epilogue anyway.
Author's Response:
I hate to say this, Nan, but I'm kinda glad to see someone else have some formatting issues! It took me over an hour to get this chapter posted - the poems never want to format right, and this time I had trouble with the notes, too, a couple times all of the text disappeared and one time when it looked like it was almost there...my router went out! So, yeah.
Thank you so much for this - it's so wonderful to know which parts people really react to. I love that you remembered the apron bit from She's a Candle - I almost always toss something from another fic into the current one and I'm pleased you noticed! And come on, Tuna! A story from me without a little sex? That'll probably never happen!
I loved writing Pam outside of the DM world and it makes me want to do a whole 'nother story that focuses more on her. I love how she is now in S5 of the show - she's growing into herself, but her fanciness is still tempered by all she's gone through.
I'm looking forward to the epilogue, too! It's pretty much constructed in my head, but I do like to roll it around in my head for awhile, so...that's coming. Thanks so much for being such a faithful reviewer - I really appreciate it.