You have a gift, and I want to thank you once again for sharing it.  So well done.

10

Wow. It's hard to breathe after reading this chapter. I totally agree that for Pam, the worst thing that could happen in the office would be Jim pranking with someone else instead of her. That would be so heartbreaking to her. Nicely done. I also Looooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvved the Roy twist thrown in. Oh, My God and Jim actually told her to give him another chance!?! What a great freaking story this is turning out to be. Yay, I'm so excited. I can't believe he told her to give Roy another chance! I know I'm rambling on about it, but I'm really sitting here in shock! Oh, My God!

It was sad to read of the pain Pam was going through, but when compared to all of the pain Jim had already been through, it was justified.

Yay!  I'm still a little frustrated that Pam doesn't just jump on the fact that they're alone--like, how much more of a setup do you need?--but I guess that's not really in character.  Anyway, I still have to give her some props for standing up for herself and her self-improvement.

Pam wistfully yearning for Jim. Jim trying to convince himself he's over her. It's all palpable here. The scene where Pam recalls their relationship of a few years ago then sees Karen in her former role was especially heartache-inducing. And don't know who I felt worse for in the scene with Jim and Roy. What a mess our little Pam has left in her wake. As usual, you've left me mopey but begging for more.

You are doing such an amazing job with this.  I really love it.  Looking forward to more:)

Oh, this just about killed me. Jim's trying so hard and Pam's trying but still stuck, and Roy's as oblivious as ever. You really do have a gift with pain.

This is progressing nicely, but it's still awkward and painful (the situation, not the prose!!!). Poor Pam. Yes, it's all her own fault, but still. I must insist that you dispatch Karen with all haste.  Hee.

This was an amazing chapter. I could just see it happening like this - Karen so sure and confident of herself and Jim at first thinking of Pam. Karen is exactly what Jim needs now and you did a beautiful job of showing us exactly that.

10

More please cause that was not enough

Author's Response: :o) Thank you - more is coming to you first thing in the am, if not a bit sooner. 

This is a good first draft, but I would cut back on some of the description of interior feelings. It's better to show these, not tell them. I would encourage you to use more dialogue, shorter descriptions, think about ways to show us how Jim feels without having to spell it all out for us. That's what "The Office" does so well--we know how Jim feels about Pam from Day One because of what he shows us, not by what he says. 

Also, I kept wondering what Dwight's reaction would have been to the return of his arch nemesis. Panic? Outrage? Paranoia? All three?

Good luck. 

So good as always. You write the BEST stories. I feel sorry for Karen. Oh well.

10

Okay, now you've gone and done it, Missy. You made my heart break again, despite my growing impatience with Pam (and inversely proportionate appreciation for Karen.) And I think you've got the Karen stuff right - she's got to be likable and a good match for Jim, so it has resonance when he still wants Pam. But I have a feeling your story will deliver that pay-off waaaay before the show (and in much more glorious detail.)

Love how you brought the steam in chptr 2 - about time someone noticed that Jim is hot as a very hot thing (btw, that's a line from a fic I'm struggling with - how very tacky to quote myself.)

Still awed by your ability to go with this season and create. All I've got are a few odd moments and odder yet songs in my head: Janice J. doing 'Piece of My Heart' and 'If I Loved You' from the classic musical, Carousel (schizo, much?) Can we trade muses? Yours seems much more coherent. Look forward to MORE of your story in the meantime!