10 [Report This]Date: March 18, 2010 08:37 am Title: Chapter 5
OK, I just FLEW through these five chapters and now I'm just heartbroken that there isn't more...it is lovely. I love how one small change could really have changed everything (and, ultimately, nothing, because they both had to take their journeys to the same place). Your phrasing and pacing are really nice, and I particularly like your internal voice for Pam. This is a wonderful piece.
Author's Response: It's true; one change in a single event could shift everything into a different pacing, which is what I'm hoping to see in this fic. But at the same time, like you said, it changes nothing REALLY, because it is all leading up to the same place - they're just taking a different route here. Thank you so much for reviewing! And I'll try to get the next update up by the end of the week!
10 [Report This]Date: March 16, 2010 05:48 am Title: Chapter 5
Mel, I've had the wind knocked out of me. This was *sigh* so full of emotion. Your characterizations were heartbreaking and brilliant. There's nothing I can say right now that would do this justice. I didn't even miss Oscar and Gil; there was enough pain without them. This is one of those stories that I could read forever. Outstanding.
P.S. Congrats on the exam! Yay, you!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Nan. You're such a great reviewer! And I'm so glad that what I wanted to convey did come across as very emotional. You can only express so much and hope the reader "gets it." And you're right; Oscar and Gil and their verbal beatdown of Pam's artwork would've felt like hearts being ripped out of chests or something. Too much too soon, but I'll definitely reference what they said later. ;) (P.S. Thank you! Yays indeed!)
10 [Report This]Date: March 16, 2010 03:16 am Title: Chapter 5
Oooooooooh 100%, go you *gives you a gold star*
This was so good. I love the awkwardness between Jim and Pam - he soo wanted to be there, the way he was looking at her work... I could see it so clearly in my head.
Excellent chapter. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thaaaaaank you!! :D *gladly accepts said star!* And thanks for reviewing, too! Writing Jim's reaction to her work was probably the best part of this chapter for me, 'cause I could see it too. He really does think she's the freakin' bee's knees, doesn't he? (And who could blame him, really?)
Date: March 15, 2010 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 5
Oh, she should have asked him to go have a cup of coffee or something, because I wanted to see him squirm just a little bit more with the thought of Karen back home. :) Such a nice, angsty chapter; looking forward to the next one!
Author's Response: Haha, thanks for reviewing again! And don't worry, there is stuff like what you envisioned on the horizon. ;)
Date: March 15, 2010 05:43 pm Title: Chapter 5
I love how you're creating a complicated parallel story line to the actual show. It's very interesting. Can't wait to see how this plays out.
Author's Response: It's really fun to work with what the show gave us and kind of ... I don't know, sketch around it. I'm a stickler for canon, so perhaps that's why I'm so drawn to this type of thing. Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm glad you're enjoying! :D