10 [Report This]Date: March 14, 2011 06:42 am Title: Chapter 1
Woo-hooooooo--first date fic! I am a sucker for first date fic :) Wow. I'm stuck on how to tell you how much I loved this, Tuna. It was a real joy to read. I can't believe that this is your first crack at fanfiction. One would think that after years without writing, you would be rusty but, boy oh boy, you most definitely aren't :D I'm thrilled at the prospect of your continuing this. You made it so easy to visualize what you were describing. My attention didn't waiver from the first word until the very end. I love Pam's burgeoning confidence and Jim's feeling that he's living out a fantasy. It must have been totally surreal, and you've conveyed that so well here. Great job! I don't know if anyone's pimped you over on the forum, but that's what I'm about to do. ::adds to favorites::
Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's so sweet of you to say! Posting my first fanfic was more than a little nerve-wracking. First date fics are probably my favorite, too. There's just so many things that could've happened that night. So many things they could have felt. I hope I can do that night justice. And thank you so, SO much for the recommendation! What an amazing welcome!
Date: March 14, 2011 05:23 am Title: Chapter 1
Very nicely done. I like your flashback structure and since we already know how things...uh, generally worked out for these two (well, at laeast up 'til now) I think it's an effective and entertaining way to go back and get a peek into those little details we didn't get the first time around. Looking forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Thank you! That was exactly how I was trying to structure the story so I'm relieved that it's coming across that way.
Date: March 13, 2011 11:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well, welcome to the fold! This is a great piece! Would definitely not have thought it was your first piece in years.
Very interesting structure you've chosen. Putting Pam and Jim on the sofa, making out like crazy ... having Pam confess that she loves him ... all BEFORE you give us the set up of the date ... I kind of like that you've eliminated some of that tension for the reader and we know we can just go along for the ride. I especially liked the interchange between Pam and Jim on the steps. It felt very much in character. Don't know why, but I also really liked his note. Stairwell. J. I could envision Jim's dashing that note off and getting the hell out of the office.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this.
Author's Response: Oh, wow! Thank you! This is such a compliment. I adore your stories! I really wanted to delve into the myriad of thoughts and emotions that they must have been feeling that night but I didn't want it weigh down the beginning of the story. I'm having a lot of fun transitioning back and forth from their internal thought processes to their shared "action" scenes. I'm glad that this format is working.
Date: March 13, 2011 07:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
Very passionate take on Jim on Pam's first date. I like it. The misunderstanding seemed very in character.
I can't figure out from the way it ended whether they actually went out or if they only made it as far as the couch.
Please write more.
Author's Response: Thank you.
Hopefully, the next few chapters will clear that up. ;)
Update coming soon!
Date: March 13, 2011 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ohhh I love the idea of Pam thinking that "date" was his way of saying goodbye. I don't think I have ever read anything like that. Welcom to MTT, keep writing, this was great!
Author's Response: Thanks! I just thought that after such an awful day (on top of an awful week, on top of an awful month, etc.)...and after so many slights and painful conversations that she and Jim had shared over the last year, Pam wouldn't automatically assume that "dinner" would be a positive thing.