1 [Report This]Date: December 07, 2020 10:22 pm Title: Chapter 2
And this is a very effective Jim inner monologue, too - you've really captured how frustrated he is with dealing with Pam's uncertainty. This is definitely the guy who is complaining to Toby and buying plane tickets to Australia not too far down the line.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think Jim has just about had it by the end of this day, and the emotional exhaustion of trying to keep Michael from blowing everything up in his face. I think he’s more frustrated with the entire universe than anything, but to have this person he believes so strongly he is meant to be with do something that might even feel like her toying with him a little just had to be the last straw. I think there’s a very fine line between Jim and Pam, and a guy who is just obsessive about a girl who really isn’t interested in him. Jim is, of course, right about Pam, which makes all the difference, haha :-)
1 [Report This]Date: May 31, 2020 11:18 am Title: Chapter 2
Heartrending! Pam's point of view was so shocking and world-altering, and then Jim's was just like a gut shot. It makes me so curious what would happen next! Pam could surely never go on the way she did before after that.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I wonder, too, haha. I think Pam was so deep in denial su was basically submerged by this point, and so she was able to explain every encounter with Jim away as being perfectly normal and logical. I don’t know how she would have shaken this one off as perfectly normal, but I’m sure she would have!
1 [Report This]Date: November 29, 2017 12:53 pm Title: Chapter 2
This was great. I really enjoyed this. I liked Jim’s chapter more for its intensity, but Pam’s was really good too—now that I think of it, putting hers first was a great choice, because it got me warmed up for Jim’s. It ramped up in pace nicely, built in a really effective way. Awesome job there. My only suggestion would be to try to be aware of using certain phrases like “big, strong hands”—stuff that could be read as cliche. But those phrases were barely there (I honestly only remember that one), and they’re easy to forget about when I felt so swept away by the emotion you conveyed so well. Really enjoyable. Really well done. I like that you left it there and (so far) haven’t added to this story, because I think telling small moments and seeing those short glimpses into their lives without any real resolution is really impactful, gives you that delicious punch that lingers longer than if everything gets neatly tied up. Fantastic stuff. :) Thanks so much for sharing.
Author's Response: Fair point! That one line sticks out to me, too, but I believe in posting something and letting it stand. I’m glad you liked the story!
Date: August 29, 2017 06:11 am Title: Chapter 2
Right, so sorry that I'm only now reviewing this! I really really love this story idea and you write so well! If you want to continue it, you could maybe incorporate a phone call or text exchange between Jim and Pam about it? Like a "I woke up this morning and I couldn't stop thinking about you" type thing? You're such a good writer!
Author's Response: Thanks, lovely!
Date: August 14, 2017 10:17 pm Title: Chapter 2
Yeah, even though the story progressed out of the elevator, into the parking lot, somehow I was still lingering in that elevator, leaning against the wall, breathing deeply and trying to remember how to walk. Great story. Sad to see it end.
Author's Response: <3