This chapter got kind of confusing. There were a lot of times it was just two people talking but there was little context to know who was talking or where. The exchange Jim and Larissa have about the paternity test is a good example of that. We go right into the scene right from another without any description. I was very confused at first and didn't know who was talking. I was able to figure it out, but it took a couple re-readings to be sure. I'd really recommend you have someone read your chapters once your finished with them so you can make adjustments before you post.

So that's the technical side. Story wise, it's nice to see Pam help Jim out. Caring soul that she is. Adding a baby to the Casino Night dynamic is an interesting twist on the familiar tale. How that's all going to play out could make for a compelling scenario.

Author's Response: I tried putting horizontal lines in between each scene and it wasn't working at the time, so I'll try again, maybe a different way when I have little more time. You are always so helpful, so thank you for both the writing help and reading!