1 [Report This]Date: November 29, 2020 03:08 am Title: Chapter 2: Primary Command
Couple of great lines in here - I really liked Pam's debate about whether or not how she handled Jim indicates she's an effective communication officer.
I really enjoy the way you've preserved and expanded on the fundamental loneliness of Pam - it's so central to her character at this point in the story, and you've used the setting to explore it well.
This was a clever way to work in Helene's call, too.
I'm interested in the way you're playing with the nature of time in this story - unnaturally extended lifespans, people experiencing it at different rates, Roy and Pam literally not bein on the same timeline. It's intriguing.
Author's Response: I appreciate your comments on Pam's loneliness--I think that was one of the elements that this fic really let me explore, so I'm glad you saw it the same way!
1 [Report This]Date: March 10, 2019 07:53 pm Title: Chapter 2: Primary Command
So Pam's list of reasons for crying are heartbreaking but so well written. Really well done there!
But let's go right to her plan of attack for a little wallowing. I'm here for all of it. In this scenario, I'm picturing Pam's mom as the first actress we saw her as, and I love her pep talk so much. Like, of course she loves Roy but she's got that mom insight and she knows that Pam has Jim to take care of her when she can't and I love that she's not shy at all about telling Pam this.
These two. They've got themselves in a bit of a Space Jam, don't they? (sorry. I'm so sorry but I had to do that.)
Author's Response: Thank you! I love the pun (see the title of this story) and I'm glad you're enjoying Helene (and yes, I always, always see her as S2 Helene).
Date: March 05, 2019 04:47 pm Title: Chapter 2: Primary Command
I liked this second chapter and really Loled about the idea of recycling tears. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm trying to stay true to the JAM core while including all the weird things I want scifi shows to show us--like recycling tears. Glad you are enjoying.
1 [Report This]Date: March 04, 2019 05:28 pm Title: Chapter 2: Primary Command
So an intergalactic version of the phone call at Jim's desk in the show. Or at least that how it feels. I do like at the sci-fi type talk you incorporate. Traveling past light speed and all that. It adds to the universe you're building here. You did nicely in keeping Pam in character. How she's still working on her confidence. The message from her mother to give her a pep talk in that regard was great.
I'm wondering if this ship has like a personnel locator function on the ship's computer. Punch up a crewman's name and the computer tells you where they are. Could be a handy thing if either Jim or Pam are trying to find or stay away from the other.
Okay we've had Jim's thoughts, and now Pam's. Now this is the part I'm looking forward to. How will the post Casino-night dynamic work with Jim and Pam stuck awake with only the ship to escape to and the Roycicle down in the Warehouse?
One other thing, great way to create a new way to not like Roy. First he proposes whilst drunk and also right before he gets frozen. I mean we all knew he didn't have anything to do with planning the wedding, but freezing himself is quite the novel way to have him get out of that. Not that I ever really expect much out of Roy regardless of what universe he's in.
Author's Response: