1 [Report This]Date: November 29, 2020 03:19 am Title: Chapter 3: Primary Command
The details of this are great. And the way you're applying them... Jim literally being responsible for the wedding is a gut punch.
I like Jim finding Kelly enjoyable. Poor girl feels like a solid candidate for being "accidentally" forced out an airlock in this universe. Her bit musing about the advantages of a quiet groom is a great Kelly line.
I like the way you brought The Client into this, and Pam's line about no pull between them in zero-g is hilarious.
Author's Response: Thank you! I had fun with Kelly in this fic; I think it may be the fic I wrote with the most of her in it, actually.
Date: March 10, 2019 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 3: Primary Command
"He briefly considered whether there was any way to sabotage Roy’s freeze or his thawing or something like that, but he didn’t try to think about it too hard because he really wasn’t that kind of person." Huh. Turns out that *I'm* that type of person because I've been thinking about this since chapter one.
The whole paragraph about how Jim's going to give Pam the brides room and everything she wants for her wedding - it's fine, I wanted my heart to break on a Sunday night at 11:05pm. Totally cool, Comfect.
Kelly as Ice makes things a little bit better though. That's just genius.
He's a better man than me - walking away from the console like that. I'd have looked.
Looking forward to what's coming next!
Author's Response:
I mean, I put that in because I, the author, was having those temptations and I thought it was important that Jim be a better man than I am. I'm not really sorry about making you cry--just know that, as all my stories are, this is going to be a happy ending, so the tears will be worth it. I hope. :) Thanks for reading!
1 [Report This]Date: March 07, 2019 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 3: Primary Command
Oh, you. My love of AU is deeply rooted in the area where you are so gifted: keeping the characters behaviors, mannerisms, etc. the same while plugging them into a different world. You are SO good at that. This is fantastic and I can't wait to see where you align canon moments with the New World you've created.
And, oh my! Kelly is so perfectly written in this chapter. So perfectly.
I sort of want Jim to succumb to the temptation, just so he can hear what Pam's mom has to say about him.
And I really, REALLY love what you did with the date/not a date and the "pull" comment. Geez, so good. This is great and I so look forward to where you take it.
Author's Response:
Oh, DC, that means so much to me, especially coming right after you finished your own freaking amazing, somehow-still-in-character AU that still gives me chills. I really appreciate hearing it!
Date: March 05, 2019 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 3: Primary Command
Okay so now we're getting a bit different than how things turned out in the show. Not a bad thing at all. However there are some fun call backs. The "date night" watching a supernova, basically the biggest firework in the universe was a great touch there. Not being physically present for the ceremony, the bridge of this ship this time as opposed to Australia or Stamford.
However the shifts are also just as welcome. Him agreeing to help her with the wedding, since it will make her happy even if its killing him inside. His realization that she was at his station was a good thing there too.
Great job as always.
Author's Response: Yeah, there are some elements of the AU that just force the story into a different mode, most obviously that I'm not sure how Jim could really transfer off an isolated ship in deep space...so he doesn't get to. I'm really glad that you're finding the shifts that those alterations create convincing! Thanks for reading, as always.