1 [Report This]Date: June 18, 2020 02:25 am Title: Chapter 3
The date was lovely! I’m glad they had some light moments, but also talked things out. I hope you continue to write here on MTT too!
1 [Report This]Date: June 17, 2020 10:59 am Title: Chapter 3
Awww ! What a sweet ending. Sad to see it end, though.
Any chance you’re up to write about the second date?
1 [Report This]Date: June 17, 2020 10:00 am Title: Chapter 3
Much better with the formatting. This makes it a lot easier to tell who's talking and what they're talking about. Yes, it takes a little more time to write it that way, but the end result is worth it by just adding that extra polish to the writing.
Kind of quick whirlwind of emotions on the date there. Cute and playful at dinner to intense and even angry in the park. I do kinda get it. There are a lot of underlying emotions going through everything. It's your first story here and you want to get out all the stuff you've got bundled up in your head. I get it. This does work, don't get me wrong.
I do wonder if you ever go down a first date story like this again, if you took a little more time, timeline wise with Jim and Pam, if you could get into some more depth. Lots of big emotions for the two of them. Seems to me that those kinds of emotional wounds will also take time to heal. So maybe expand on that. In "Fun Run," Pam did say they went out to dinner a couple times for her to help Jim through the breakup. So expanding on the next dates to see that healing process could be fun.
Now that's not to say I didn't like this story. I did like this story. It's cute and sweet. Jim and Pam finally getting together is always fun. Well done for posting and completing your first story. Looking forward to seeing what else you have to offer.