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Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 26, 2021 11:35 am Title: Back From Vacation

Even though she was in the magical years of self-delusion between twenty-five and thirty, where you were old enough to know better but could still get away living like you didn't..." Insightful. True. DEEPLY RUDE.

You did really well exploring the subtleties of Pam's physical desire here, both with Danny and with Jim.

Pam pulling up the worst apartment in Scranton is fun. She does come off VERY self-sacrificing in this episode, doesn't she? And besides, she and Jim can enjoy trashing them.

This moment between them is just... gorgeous.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 26, 2021 06:11 am Title: Benihana Christmas

This version of the inspiration of her prank against Dwight is inspired, as is circling back to the way she keeps getting all these little reminders of him and this one act she took to try to bring them back together in response.

Ooooof. The idea of Pam throwing out those momentos is a gut punch... and somehow one that's even worse knowing how it ends, that Pam isn't going to have all the reminders of the beginning of their story once they're together. Thank goodness she missed the yogurt lid.

LOVE the now-canon confirmed idea that they always gave each other SOMETHING for Christmas, and the way you describe them walking the line between friendship and not.

Another connection I hadn't made before: the way in which Pam might see some parallel to HERSELF in Roy's longing for her. VERY interesting and highly plausible.

This new parking lot exchange hurts.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 26, 2021 06:11 am Title: The Convict

First, loved you keying on the sight of Karen with the baby and what that must have meant to Pam. And the metaphor of the cracks in the facade she has to rebuild every day and the different types of blows it takes is spot on.

I felt really inside her head in the coffee scene. The impact of Jim being uncomfortable around her and what that meant to her was just visceral and painful. And the ending! That's among my favorite Pam smiles of the series, and I'm glad you did it justice.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 26, 2021 06:10 am Title: Initiation, Diwali, Merger

You've done really good work here capturing what Pam's head space would have looked like in the first months of her own - her sense of pride in the mundane adult responsibilities, and her sense that her world is just... incomplete somehow without Jim. The way she can visualize him during The Conversation is. Ugh. Your level of talent is unreal.

"A flaw in her that somehow relinquished control of her rational mind and thought he was the only person she wanted to share it with and acted on that thought. Billions of people on the planet and there was only one she cared to hear the reaction of." That's love. Cut to its core. And your take on Pam's evening post merger is devastating.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 26, 2021 06:09 am Title: Casino Night

This is a really interesting take on Jim and Pam's failure to connect post-her leaving Roy, and one I haven't seen done much before if ever. Feels like there are a lot of different ways this moment can reverberate and reshape our interpretation of events in Season 3... looking forward to seeing it play out.

As always, the prose is just. Plain. Gorgeous.

Reviewer: JennaBennett Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 01, 2021 04:58 pm Title: Back From Vacation

“Even though she was in the magical years of self-delusion between twenty-five and thirty, where you were old enough to know better but could still get away living like you didn't” Oh my god call me out why don’t you.

“but then again she was well versed in ignoring the obvious” shot to the heart. I —

“Experience also came with age and wisdom, two things that were only born from time so maybe time was all she needed” the way I’m about to print this out & put it on the wall in my office...

“she absently wondered if the color had drained from her face because she felt the fragments she had shored against her ruins falling away piece by piece” Wow. Honestly wow. This line blows me away. It’s so achingly beautiful.

How. Dare. You.
It’s all too perfect.
I love that there’s not much said & yet so much happens.
That final line. It’s everything.

Reviewer: BigTuna Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 19, 2021 11:09 am Title: Back From Vacation

well this was *quite* rude of you, I have to say

Reviewer: Once Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 19, 2021 10:52 am Title: Back From Vacation

You've written this alternate scene well.

Like you, I loved the Pam/Dwight interaction. I think Dwight pulling off his coat was intended to drape around Pam, but that was just a step too caring for Dwight. I was amazed he could retrench so quickly to come up with being hot; Dwight does not think fast on his feet. He's the rules and regulations guy.

I thought this was Pam's lowest point in all of Season Three. I like your alternate take; this could have brought Jim's decision point forward by months, but we would have given up Pam's beach scene and lost seeing her tangible growth. Jim's agony would have been far more acute, and he'd already been through Casino Night. I think the show writers thought enough is enough for Jim. It is an ensemble cast after all; JK had already shown he was the breakout star.

Your last sentence “And suddenly her grin and her life stopped being so forced.” walks that fine line between nadir and hopeful. Good onya

Reviewer: Maxine Abbott Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 19, 2021 09:54 am Title: Back From Vacation

Another beautifully written piece that felt like you entered my mind and wrote things I saw or wished for. And did so with words written in ways I could never express so well.

Danny. You nailed it. Him. Her reaction to him. Why it ended before it began. (My yet to be posted features him too and we see him exactly the same way).

I never knew I wanted him to find her until you made it happen. This was perfect.

I was touched by the scene with her and Dwight but this was so right. It had me thinking of another line from the song we discussed.
Never used to get excited to sit here in the silence.
And now it’s all I see. And the whole narrative is different.
Thank you for that. Beautiful. As always.

Reviewer: nicemorningtoo Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 19, 2021 08:36 am Title: Back From Vacation

You are way too good at this whole writing thing, but never stop. I love Pam and Dwight to pieces, but I always wished that Jim was the one to find her in that hallway. The fact that they could say everything without saying a word really just killed me. And then him staying, "the universe taking pity on two fractured souls seeking solace." That was beautiful, bored. I loved this so, so much.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 19, 2021 06:16 am Title: Back From Vacation

Once more your talent shines in this one. All the grief and pain Pam's gone through to this moment are right there on full display. And then surprise it's Jim that finds her. You wrote their ability to communicate non-verbally so well. Really if it had been Jim that found her like this and we'd had a moment such as this one, I think the Real Jim would have shown up a lot quicker. While Jim has his moments of being a jerk, for the most part he's a good guy. Seeing her so upset would have easily triggered this response and probably a lot more.

Excellent work as always.

Reviewer: Dernhelm Signed [Report This]
Date: February 19, 2021 03:28 am Title: Back From Vacation

Do I want to cry? Do I want to laugh? Do I want to make a lot of 'aww' noises? I don't know, probably I want to do all of that and THANK YOU for that!
(Seriously. Lately, I have some trouble with feeling things — I feel mostly numb to everything that used to bring me emotions (or potentially could cause feelings) — and now I feel many things, which is so nice for a change).
And I love your writing, it's so poetic and delicate, like watercolors on fine paper. Especially I love these lines:
"she saw something more complex, more like a melodic song with notes of concern and pain and regret each playing their part across his melancholy visage."
"he had read her like the pages of his favorite novel before sliding the bookmark into the crease and shutting it for another day."
That's so heartachingly beautiful.
And I like these subtle changes you brought to the canon. I like their silent conversation and acknowledging each other's emotions, it really feels like something natural, and I hope that those changes will lately play their role. Can't wait to see that!
Also... thank you so much for not letting Pam fucked Danny. That little thing made me a little happier!

Reviewer: JennaBennett Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 22, 2020 04:07 pm Title: Benihana Christmas

The author’s note alone and I already know that this is about to be my new favorite thing...

“In an effort to cling to the remains of her dignity, she had trashed them all, a victory that, instead of propelling her forward, filled her with regret, and left her hollow.” Right in the feels. I am the biggest sentimental hoarder and this genuinely weighs on my heart. I can feel the depth of that regret, achingly so.

“The ever-revolving door of wanting him and wanting to hate him.” Oh. That’s Season 3 energy all over.

“He was pining after a woman that was long gone the same way she was longing after a man she had given up” I. Wow. Yes. This hurts my heart for them all.
Although, that gifting her a book she already has touch is amazing and so completely perfect. My sympathy for Roy just rose and fell in such a spectacular crescendo.

This hesitant Jim holding himself back in the parking lot is everything.
“She shook her head in agreement” Bored. The way this is perfection.

Author's Response:

Thank you Jenna, so much!

"My sympathy for Roy just rose and fell in such a spectacular crescendo." I love that! Even your reviews are poetic! (Teach me sometime, okay? Because I'm a horrible reviewer.) 

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2020 02:36 pm Title: Benihana Christmas

Oh my... I love that you have them *almost* having an actual honest conversation! You've made a great job of capturing the anguish and pain of season 3.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Sam! There is so much left unsaid during this time but the payoff will be worth it. :) 

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2020 02:19 pm Title: Initiation, Diwali, Merger

Gosh - that's painful. And very well done.

Author's Response: Thank YOU for your review! 

Reviewer: Dernhelm Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: December 01, 2020 07:02 am Title: Benihana Christmas

I pride myself on not crying over this chapter, but oh dear, it stung so much!.. And with so few words — each of them hit with a double force.
I want to hate it, honestly, as it causes me pain over and over again, but I absolutely love it!
Thank you!

Author's Response: I know it is rough right now but there is hope on the horizon. The pain makes the payoff so much better! Thank you, friend! 

Reviewer: SprinklesTheCat Signed [Report This]
Date: November 29, 2020 04:02 pm Title: Benihana Christmas

I started copying lines to exclaim over in this review and then realized I was copying the whole thing. This take on the story gives me the feeling of a heavy heart. So much left unsaid between the two of them. You take a familiar scene and give it so much more depth.

Author's Response: Thank you, Sprinkles! I know it is heavy now but there is a promise of better days. ;)

Reviewer: Once Signed [Report This]
Date: November 29, 2020 03:32 pm Title: Benihana Christmas

"She had always loved Christmas."
Perfect bookends.

Author's Response: Thanks! 

Reviewer: BigTuna Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 29, 2020 09:29 am Title: Benihana Christmas

“The tendency towards retaliation wasn’t a personality trait she was necessarily proud“

Listen, I LOVE THIS. Pam gets romanticized so often but she has real flaws and this is absolutely one of them. I love that you included this because it gives depth to her character that we don’t see often. Her pranks and jokes get written off as silliness I think but she absolutely wants to get even in her own way, and you wove that in expertly. And then just that heartbreaking parking lot scene, murder me right now.

So so good, lady. I loved it. Will you write literally every episode? Thank youuuu

Author's Response: I agree with you, I'm here for the real flaws. Neither of them are perfect and I love bringing that out on occasion. I *plan* on touching just about every episode, but you know what they say about plans. ;) Thank you! 

Reviewer: Maxine Abbott Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2020 07:51 pm Title: Initiation, Diwali, Merger

So I've read the whole thing so far (through benihana) and it is all so poetic and beautiful and soul stirring but this is the chapter I need to leave my review because of the very first words. You have managed to capture the feeling I had with my first apartment alone after having lived with and lost the boyfriend I left college with, I had this same epiphany, same sense of freedom and empowerment And loss at same time.

How you have described this spoke to me more than anything else because of how real it felt to me even though it was so long ago.

That said I am awestruck by the way you get at the emotions of all these events with such brilliant writing, descriptions and dialogue. You have a gift and I want to thank you for sharing it with us.

Author's Response:

Thank you for this absolutely beautiful review, Max! I love that it moved you so deeply and I have also experienced something similar years ago, which is certainly what I pulled from. 

Thank you so, so much for your kind words!  

Reviewer: WanderingWatchtower Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2020 08:36 am Title: Benihana Christmas

I was going to choose a few favorite lines but honestly, they’re all my favorite. I can’t stress enough how beautiful your writing is! It’s poetic and vivid, and the imagery is amazing. You capture the essence of Pam’s inner turmoil so well. Thank you for this!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, WW. I think I find it easy to write her because I *am her* in many ways. Thanks for reading! 

Reviewer: BlindManCassidy Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2020 07:20 pm Title: Benihana Christmas

I must say, I don’t often feel very deeply, if I am to feel anything at all. And yet, something about the way you write has actually got me feeling sad for Pam. Your written acuity is unparalleled. Keep up the good work.


Author's Response: What a tremendous compliment, BlindManCassidy! Thank you so much! 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2020 05:07 pm Title: Benihana Christmas

Hauntingly beautiful again here. You do such a great job getting into her head space. Also offering a ton of extra details. She's teaming up with Karen for more than one reason to get back at someone. Roy gives her a gift she already has and he should have known about. Her despair when she hears his rejection and then the faintest glimmer of hope when he accepts the present. The feeling of stealing time as they walk out the door and her imagination running wild while sitting in the car. All great. Glad you had time to get back to this one. Even though it stings a bit since we're in S3 you do a great job of writing Pam right where she is at the time.

Author's Response: Thank you Warrior, so very much!

Reviewer: Coley Signed [Report This]
Date: November 18, 2020 08:57 am Title: The Convict

Man, this story. I love everything you write more than I could say but this one... this one is special.

"He had only been back a little over a week, and there were a thousand little cracks in the faƧade she rebuilt every day on her drive to work." My heart really breaks for Pam here.

And here... "Their conversation was brief, but when Karen met her eyes confidently as he walked away, there was an implicit declaration in the language of women, a meaningful statement on the symbolism of a baby...and him." I maybe whispered a "Oh, you bitch" to this sentence (okay, to Karen) and then I laughed at myself for letting myself get so involved in the lives of fictional characters.

"Square footage does not lie, and despite his efforts, eventually, their paths crossed." Jesus. This entire paragraph. They haven't even done anything and I'm beside myself and needing one of them to reach out to the other. And when Pam does, with the whole coffee mug thing? Yeah, it's good.

"and as he turned slowly to smirk triumphantly in her direction, shades of him returned to her, vibrant and elusive. Their secret language, understood only by them, was exchanged once more, and she couldn't stop the smile that spread from somewhere deep in reply." This right here is one of my favorite moments in the entire series and I love seeing it play out in this story.

Listen. Listen. Pam may be the painter, but the way you use these words to tell this story? You're the real artist here.

Author's Response:

I say "Oh you bitch" when reading quite often, or is that just me? ;)  I really, really love that you picked up on the baby line. I know that was a deleted scene but Pam's face said it all. 

I always adore hearing your thoughts and they mean more to me than you know. 

Reviewer: Once Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 06, 2020 06:22 pm Title: Initiation, Diwali, Merger

This paragraph is perfection. "He would be there. With her. And this was her purgatory."

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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