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You've done really good work here capturing what Pam's head space would have looked like in the first months of her own - her sense of pride in the mundane adult responsibilities, and her sense that her world is just... incomplete somehow without Jim. The way she can visualize him during The Conversation is. Ugh. Your level of talent is unreal.

"A flaw in her that somehow relinquished control of her rational mind and thought he was the only person she wanted to share it with and acted on that thought. Billions of people on the planet and there was only one she cared to hear the reaction of." That's love. Cut to its core. And your take on Pam's evening post merger is devastating.

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So I've read the whole thing so far (through benihana) and it is all so poetic and beautiful and soul stirring but this is the chapter I need to leave my review because of the very first words. You have managed to capture the feeling I had with my first apartment alone after having lived with and lost the boyfriend I left college with, I had this same epiphany, same sense of freedom and empowerment And loss at same time.

How you have described this spoke to me more than anything else because of how real it felt to me even though it was so long ago.

That said I am awestruck by the way you get at the emotions of all these events with such brilliant writing, descriptions and dialogue. You have a gift and I want to thank you for sharing it with us.

Author's Response:

Thank you for this absolutely beautiful review, Max! I love that it moved you so deeply and I have also experienced something similar years ago, which is certainly what I pulled from. 

Thank you so, so much for your kind words!  

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This is the kind of story that hits with big chunks of emotion and feeling and I have to almost sidle up to to let my brain process them. That's a major compliment to be clear. You do a great job of crystalizing despair here.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Comfect! 

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“A phantom limb that ached and throbbed in the absence of the skin, muscle and sinew that used to occupy the space.” This is pure poetry.

“resigning herself to the backward progress and allowing his voice to fill her the way it always had.” It’s fine. I’m fine. No one’s crying here...

Pam waiting on that message that doesn’t come is... ugh. I mean, this is a pretty unique situation, but somehow it toes that kind between friendship breakup and actual breakup. I feel like losing a genuine best friend has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. And to reach out to them and not have them respond... it would ache in a whole new way. “If this was a message, she heard it loud and clear.” Oh Pam...

The angst. Oh the angst. The Merger with Pam’s flaring and spiraling hope. Then the scenes in her apartment. “this was her purgatory.” I’m sure it would have felt exactly that way to Pam, like she deserved it - even more so in this world you’ve created where she went to him and essentially set him free for his (perceived) good.

I look forward to seeing how you will spin the words to make me feel all the things next chapter.

Author's Response: I always enjoy hearing what your favorite parts are in your reviews. Your words are so kind and encouraging and appreciate them so much! Thanks :)

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Can't hate you for writing this, especially with the great insights into Pam in one of my least favourite times in jam, but of course I can still implore you to have mercy on our aching hearts and get to the heart melting fluff asap. I know you're capable of it, I read Virtus!

This was a really great chapter, all pleading for fluff aside.

Author's Response: I promise brighter days are ahead for them. Hang in there. :) 

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Ahhhh! Heart goes out to S3 Pam, and you have describe every emotion SO WELL. Particularly loved the way you have written the phone, packed a punch in a paragraph.

"I'm so stupid." This captures Merger Pam so accurately.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. :)