1 [Report This]Date: October 05, 2020 07:58 pm Title: Chapter 8
This chapter is just lovely! I mean so many wonderful moments between the two of them. Jim starting to learn sign language. Cece beating him at chess. Just the time they share together.
However it all kicks up a notch with the start of the heart-to-heart that ends all heart-to-hearts. I just love it so, SO much. How they start to draw strength and courage from each other. How they're honest about each other. How they trust each other. Beautifully written.
Then a prank there at the end for that right bit of levity. You're right Cece is being a bad-ass and I'm hear for every minute of it. Hopefully I haven't run out of jellybeans by now cause this chapter deserves all of them.
Author's Response: Eric you ALWAYS warm my heart, I love your thought out reviews, I look to forward to them each chapter, and you always put so much effort in. I needed to write a chapter that showed the true beauty in Jim and Cece’s relationship, and how vulnerable they’re both being with each other which as you get older becomes even more hard. Especially as a changing 11 year old girl. Cece is such a bad ass in my mind, and even though she’s not dealing with some of the skeletons in her closet, I think it’s important for her to start to open up about what she saw and what she remembers. Thank you so much for these reviews, and of course I had to throw a prank in there too!
Date: October 05, 2020 07:00 pm Title: Chapter 8
This is a very sweet chapter, especially coming on the heels of such a heavy one.
You've sold the idea of Jim and Cece really *needing* each other to move forward - she's tough and she's growing up, but she needs some guidance from her dad right now as she goes through a major change in her life, and he needs someone to give him some strength at a time he feels weak. Crucially, she seems to understand on some level that what will give him strength is knowing that she needs him to be strong, and her revealing the truth about what she saw during the accident reminds him of that.
(Also, the note about the slime is GENIUS. That stuff could get any parent moving. As is the thing about her ignoring her dad by literally positioning herself so he can't hear him. She's a great kid, but she's definitely showing some very real signs of teenage difficulty.)
I also appreciate the bittersweet notes of a father seeing his little girl growing up - and a father who has missed some of that growing up, and feels guilty both about that and the sense that he's forced it on her.
Finally - I loved the Beach Games callback. (I am deeply, deeply obsessed with the idea of how the Halperts will share their story and the documentary with their kids.)
Author's Response: Can I just say how much I truly appreciate your reviews? I look forward to them every chapter. You always put so much thought and effort into your reviews and I appreciate it so much! I really wanted the relationship between Cece and Jim to feel authentic, and real, and of course I am making some assumptions they’d be thick as thieves, but also I think as their first, and his girl, they have a specific bond that is strong. I think it’s important for him to see that she’s changed and also to accept what she saw that day, and we’ll continue to see that play out throughout the story.
Beach Games is one of my favorite episodes, and I think when it comes to Bravery, Pam showed so much there.
I had to throw in a prank, she is a Halpert of course.
The next chapter should be rather uplifting as well, maybe with a little heart ache too
1 [Report This]Date: October 01, 2020 06:32 pm Title: Chapter 7
Wow, the ASL. I don't know why I didn't see it, why I didn't know it meant something to be there in the earlier chapter. I took ASL class with my babies (they can learn to sign before they can talk so we learned a little ASL ourselves) so I guess it didn't strike me as odd they would know it, but now it's the aha moment for me.
Is this a nod to "A Quiet Place or perhaps a little more personal. But it hit me. I'd feel bad for this to happen to any family but to our beloved Halperts it's even more heartbreaking.
But I am excited for Uncle Michael. I can't wait to see how you present him and how he's changed. Can't wait to see what comes next.
Author's Response: Maxine, it’s a bit of a nod to both. I lost the majority of my hearing in the accident and now speak but also sign, so
Although it’s hard to convey ASL in a story, I’m going to try. It’s also a nod to a Quiet Place. I’ve had the opportunity to meet John Krasinski multiple times and was on set with actress Millie Simms for the second film, she’s deaf in real life. It was one of the most amazing opportunities of my life. John has been so gracious every time I’ve been around him, and it’s help develop “Jim” for me too by knowing the actor a little bit more.
I’m so excited for Uncle Michael! I’ve already jumped a head a bit and started writing that chapter lol.
Thank you again for your reviews they make me smile!
Date: September 30, 2020 04:13 pm Title: Chapter 7
Back to the past does hurt a bit, but it also adds so much depth to this story. I'm right there with Cece too. How is Phillip doing? Seems like we haven't heard from him in a while. Lots of feelings going on here. Pam's panic attack seemed very real. Ah Ketamine, yeah that'll knock just about anyone out. Likewise Pam's feelings of guilt there at the end of the chapter.
The start of the quiet morose Cece period. Which makes sense. She's stuck in a hospital bed without her Mom, Dad, or brother. Not only that but the fallout of the accident, I get why she'd be slow to bounce back.
However that little bit of light at the end of the tunnel? Uncle Michael? That could be a lot of fun. As odd and innapropriate as Michael can be, he has some lovely moments especially when things are really serious. I get the feeling we're in for something like that here. Lovely writing as always.
Author's Response: Aww Eric, your reviews always warm my heart. The past is hard, but I have to go there and definitely bring everyone along even as challenging as it may be. Philip will be making an appearance soon, and he’s got his own things going on that I’ll be diving into very soon. Ketamine is great in knocking you out, you are absolutely right.
Cece is definitely struggling, and it’s something I struggled with, in my own Dad’s accident and feeling pulled away from them so he could be treated, it was very very hard.
Michael is terribly awkward but when things get rough, Michael gets going. So I feel as though he will definitely bring some
Joy and love into everyone’s hearts. I’m excited to write him, this is something new for me, and frankly, I miss Holly.
Date: September 30, 2020 03:16 pm Title: Chapter 7
Well, this was deeply downbeat. I appreciate that you're being unflinching in walking us through the trauma inflicted on this family and how they first started to come to grips with it while forcibly separated from each other. Nice to see Pam calling in some old friends for reinforcement... although Michael and hospitals sound like a potentially frightening mix!
I was wondering when the ASL bit was going to come back, looking forward to seeing where you go with that as Cece recovers and works on her father's recovery.
Author's Response: This wasn’t an easy one to write, but the honesty of a family being torn apart because of an accident is an all too real thing that happens, especially with current Covid restrictions. Pam definitely will need backup from her closest friends since Jim is currently absent, and although Michael may make a bit of a scene in the near future, I think he just might be the trick into helping Cece.
I’m so glad you circled back around regarding the ASL moment, I was wondering if anyone would catch it and wonder but it has come full circle and we’ll see more of that as we go along on this journey.
Thank you so much for your consistent and thoughtful reviews!
1 [Report This]Date: September 30, 2020 01:20 pm Title: Chapter 7
Oh, I can’t wait for Uncle Michael!
Your writing is beautiful and you do such an excellent job of conveying the emotion they all feel. It’s a heavy story, for sure, but you write it so well.
Author's Response: Thank you so much Katie! I really appreciate the reviews, and I love that you’re coming back for more. It’s a tough story to write but we need some serious Michael time. He’ll bring a smile to everyone’s face :)
1 [Report This]Date: September 30, 2020 04:32 am Title: Chapter 4
Again, so moved, so swept away by this story. So glad I decided to read it.
Knowing this happened in your life, I can't help but wonder how much of your story is your own personal experience and how difficult that must have been for you and everyone in your life. It's weaved in so well to your story, the impact of this on the kids and how it takes away a little of their ability to be just a kid. The duality of CeCe being both child and having to grow up fast and be almost like a parent to her dad is so visible here.
On a personal note, love the fact that he loves Devil Wears Prada - the men in my life do, too. My son, especially. But what's not to love, that is a great movie and I just watched it again last weekend myself (my son ran into join me when he heard it on).
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Maxine, thank you so much again! I love hearing your thoughts. This story is deeply personal to me and very much related to my own experiences. It has been cathartic for me to work through them, but also to explore how a different family would handle it. I had to throw in a little nod to John Krasinski being a huge fan of Devil Wears Prada before he even met Emily Blunt, I love my little Easter eggs that I plant :) I’m excited to hear more of your thoughts. Another chapter coming soon!
1 [Report This]Date: September 29, 2020 02:20 pm Title: Chapter 1
I was swept into this story immediately. Such a naturalness to the writing --I felt right at home. Coming from a mom who's kids are almost grown, you brought me back to when my kids were that age.
Late night guests, messy rooms (sadly, messes remain until they go to college), calling us out for less than clean language, fights over Minecraft (I think that was the reference, believe it or not they still play it as teens).
And my stomach flopped too, from sick Jim.
I think I'll be reading this instead of working on my own story tonight. Now look what you did...but seriously, well done. Really love it. Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Maxine, thank you SO much for this review. I sincerely love hearing from my readers, especially new ones! This story is near and dear to my heart as I experienced my father getting into an accident and suffering from a TBI when I was a tween, albeit it was many years ago it had a profound affect on my relationship with my family.
I love that you noticed the call outs to childhood, and I'm silently thanking my mother for putting up with my messes even through college ;)
I am going to check out your stories, and thank you again so much for this kind review, and I hope to hear more from you!
1 [Report This]Date: September 28, 2020 10:32 pm Title: Chapter 6
I think you struck a good balance in this chapter between hope and allowing us to feel good that Jim is awake and functioning and recovering on the one hand and recognizing that his regaining consciousness is the beginning, rather than the end, of his recovery - noting the longterm physical effects Jim needs to come to grips with and the psychological impact on his family and his relationship with them.
I'm looking forward to seeing Cece play more of a role, although I have to say I'm kinda with Pam that I'm not sure that disrupting her routine even further is necessarily the best thing for him. (Although I appreciate you noting here that this isn't entirely about Pam's motherly concerns, and there is an element here of how she feels like she's failed as a wife.)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for another review! Pulling your kid out of school isn’t an easy decision, and I think she’s feeling, as you mentioned, that she’s somehow failed him, and responsible for what happened to him. I will begin to explore that idea later as well. I think Cece’s presence is definitely going to have an impact on his recovery but also on their relationship. I’ve always envisioned him being closer to her,
Relating to her personality more, and their relationship being one that’s based on similarities. I think that we’re going to see some aspects of what he’s “missed” as well. Thank you for continuing to read and review!
1 [Report This]Date: September 28, 2020 10:25 pm Title: Chapter 5
Yikes, I think jellybean'd this without actually reviewing.
I liked the use of flashbacks to Jim's experiences as a father here - in particular as Cece's role grows, I think it's useful to have a baseline of the sort of relationships he had with his kids pre-accident, in particular since we have such a rich history with him and Pam. Makes them characters and not just symbols. Plus, let's face it, Daddy Jim is adorable.
The transition from there to Pam coming face-to-face with a badly injured, unable-to-speak Jim is brutal in a way that I think helps illustrate the shock this is for this little family, too.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the jellybeans AND review, I always look forward to your well thought out reviews, and just want to thank you so much for hanging in with this story and continuing on to support my writing. Daddy Jim is pretty adorable, and as you saw in the upcoming chapter there’s about to be a whole lot more of it. I think Jim’s character is dynamic where he struggles with his internal shock and depression from this incident but also the love he has from his family and the support from them.
The part where Pam sees Jim post accident is traumatic and scary and will lean into how she continues to see him in the future, trying to build back this feeling of him being strong and able to carry the weight of aspects of their family. I think she will work
Through some struggles with this, and I’m excited to see where it goes and what you think!
1 [Report This]Date: September 28, 2020 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 6
You're right this is the start of the journey. However just the fact that Jim is sitting up and talking is lovely. They've all been through the wringer so it's going to take some time to get all those feelings out.
I love that Cece is the one to put some spark back into Jim's life. Being surrounded by those he loves I'm sure will be a huge balm to his heart.
Can't wait to see where we go from here.
Author's Response: Eric, I always appreciate your well thought out reviews, and responses for my chapters. I look forward to them every time I publish! Having Jim awake has really brought light into Pam and Cece’s lives specifically, and I think the joy that it will bring them will be refreshing as they continue to move through the journey of recovery which never is an easy recovery and comes with its own new challenges. Luckily, they have each other and the strength of their marriage. :)
1 [Report This]Date: September 26, 2020 09:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is so good!!! I love love love the mix of realistic suffering and angst--and I can't wait for the moment Jim actually realizes what he's missed. Welcome back!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I love hearing that you’re enjoying it! I’m excited to be back here and I can’t wait for Jim to find out about his little addition :) thank you so much for the kind review!
Date: September 24, 2020 07:42 pm Title: Chapter 5
Nice use of the flashbacks to give us some depth to the Halpert family. How Jim cares for his kids and how scared Pam was as he's heading into surgery. Nice to have that as it builds up your characters well.
Author's Response: Thank you! I wanted some insight into how Jim deals with “crisis” before their family is thrust into one, and give some intimate moments between him and his kiddos. I love writing his perspective and drawing from my own TBI, accident, and time in ICU and how that affected my wife has been hugely inspirational for this story
1 [Report This]Date: September 23, 2020 10:27 am Title: Chapter 4
Well, finally things are looking up! I appreciate the way you've explored how fast this has forced Cece to grow up, making good on some of the foreshadowing in the earlier chapters. And the scene of her holding his hand in the hospital was very moving.
Subtle references caught: Jim screwing up Kelly's birthday in Lecture Circuit (and how much do I love that Jim is really good at birthdays when he actually cares?). Possibly Jim taking Cece to the Pacific?
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your thoughtful review! My dad went through a brain injury from an accident when I was about Cece's age, it has helped a lot in the writing of this, and is very cathartic for me. Things definitely are looking up for them, he's got a ways to go, but they're together again, finally.
And yes for the references! Also--my man JK loves him some Devil Wears Prada, I wonder why? lol and of course we had some ASL in there from QP. That will get a little further explained as we go on too. Thank you again for sticking with me!!
1 [Report This]Date: September 21, 2020 07:29 pm Title: Chapter 4
After all the build up, this was a great way to bring this to a climax. Clearly both Pam and Cece are off kilter and have been for a long time. Jim's presense being the centering force in their lives. It might be a little cliche, but to have it be Cece's hand be the key to getting the breathing tube out was just lovely. From personal experience, it's not fun to wake up with a tube down your throat preventing you from talking or breathing on your own. It's not a pleasant experience to be extubated either, but the relief of being able to breathe and talk on your own again is indescribable.
That the first words out of Jim's mouth are "My girls," just hits the heart in all sorts of ways. After so long, that's the first thing he says. Lovely. Likewise having Pam watch as Cece's hard exterior goes away and she can let it go was lovely as well.
Great chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: September 17, 2020 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wow. I've got to hand it to you, this is gutsy writing in how much it's just leaning into the darkest possible scenario for the crash.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, it’s a tough subject to write, but I wanted to really go to a dark corner of some
Folks realities. There will be a happy ending, I promise :)
Date: September 17, 2020 03:55 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oof, another heavy chapter here. Especially coming from Cece's perspective. To have it that the kids bus hit Jim and Pam's car is just another hard hit. Just oof.
Author's Response: Eric, congrats on your little bundle! Thank you for taking the time to read, this has definitely been cathartic for me to getting through some trauma from my own past, and has been a great outlet for discussing real, tough, subjects. Thank you for sticking around!!
1 [Report This]Date: September 14, 2020 06:40 pm Title: Chapter 2
Great story so far. The pain that Pam is going through would be staggering, then add the uncertainty of what Jim is experiencing just makes this so good. BTW welcome back to this little corner of the FF web, I have been a fan for years
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support! Hoping to get another chapter up soon!
Date: September 14, 2020 06:52 am Title: Chapter 2
Oof, yeah. That one's tough. Really hoping Jim pulls through. Especially with a new baby on the way and Cece and Phil acting like that. Great writing to pull out a bunch of emotional beats though.
1 [Report This]Date: September 13, 2020 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 2
Ugh, poor Pam. You can really feel the weight of the world on her shoulders here. This is all hard enough without the stresses of being pregnant along with it.
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :) Things will turn up, i promise
Date: September 13, 2020 06:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
I just can’t keep reading. I’ve been in quarantine for almost 7 months now, it hasn’t been easy, and to read about this family being shattered is just too much for me 😞
Author's Response: I promise it gets better, but things will be rough for a bit :/
Date: September 12, 2020 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
A premise very much worth exploring, although your tags have me deeply concerned. Looking forward to seeing where you go next with this - and welcome back!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
1 [Report This]Date: September 12, 2020 11:07 am Title: Chapter 1
Uh oh. Haha I’m a little scared to keep reading!
I do really like how much you can feel the love Pam has for Jim, though. Nice job conveying that, its sweet. But are you going to kill my Jimothy?!
Author's Response: I don't know! I guess you'll have to keep reading to find out, thank you so much for the support!!
Date: September 11, 2020 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
Welcome back to MTT. Good set up here, though it feels ominous. It'll be interesting to see where this goes.
Author's Response: Thank you so much Eric! Hopefully this next chapter clears up some things!