Date: May 17, 2021 04:32 pm Title: Haunted by a past I just can't see, anymore
Continuing to really enjoy the Roy-Pam side of this a lot! Roy's deeply half-assed but probably heartfelt efforts at being a good boyfriend, and Pam enjoying this intimate moment with him even amidst this big episode for her and Jim... I feel like I have a sense of what Pam sees in him.
I also thought the parallel-ing of the "platonic marriage proposal" and Roy's real proposal-ish worked well.
Date: May 12, 2021 02:28 pm Title: And in the disbelief I can't face reinvention
I love the symbolism of Pam not wanting to eat the chips from The Fight and then Roy eating them, and the fact that she actually went to Roy with her palm-reading request first... she really is trying in that relationship. And it seems like in the beginning, he was too. The idea that he's just gotten incredibly complacent rings true.
Jim evoking good emotional memories that she hasn't had in a long time is a good twist.
Date: May 10, 2021 12:07 pm Title: And in the disbelief I can't face reinvention
I'm loving all of these! I think you've got such a great read on Pam and her thought processes, and these are some really insightful looks into moments from the show. I love the way you've written the moment where Jim picks her up in The Fight, and her just wanting to turn and melt into him 😍 And then her moment of realisation after their 'date', and her telling herself it's just a crush and it will go away - really heart-breaking, and really in character.
Date: May 10, 2021 06:02 am Title: And in the disbelief I can't face reinvention
Lots of big feeling from her this time around. She's really starting to see that her relatinship with Jim is something more than friendship and her relationship with Roy is stagnant. Clearly she's still scared about everything. Her giving Roy the chips is good proof of that. She knows that those were an olive branch from Jim to her about everything, but she still settles for the easy path rather than the right path. Be the good fiance, deny what you feel about Jim. Oh Pam, soon all those lies you've told yourself for so long are going to come due.
Great job going beyond the episodes to give us more insight to what she thinks and feels.
Date: May 08, 2021 06:43 pm Title: Love was a currency, A shimmering balance act
"It was hard not to slip back away though, with Jim on one side of her, Roy on the other, she felt almost cornered. The two most important people in her life, sitting like the angel and the devil on her shoulder. She just doesn’t know which one is which." I like this image, which is a new one by me for this fandom, and the idea that Pam doesn't know which is which. It's easy to imagine a version of this story where Jim is the villain, and the idea that he represents temptation/sin and Roy represents steadiness and commitment being in Pam's head is useful to shaping your perceptions here.
I continue to really like your take on Pam and Roy behind closed doors... that Roy is actually kind of trying with her, and how desperate Pam is for him to do that, how low the bar she's setting for him is.
Date: May 07, 2021 05:51 pm Title: Love was a currency, A shimmering balance act
In addition to really doing a good job getting into her head, the extra canon sections you're putting in are just as good. Roy telling Pam he had to work late again, also Roy trying to do better by her really seem to be in keeping for this time frame.
Her confusion about what Jim means to her is also right where she's at too. She's still stuck in her desire to keep things static. Really good job getting into that too.
Date: April 29, 2021 06:12 am Title: Hoping I'll never find out that you're anyone else
I've always wanted to be a little more in Pam's head in the Dundies... that moment in the parking lot with her and Roy feels like something we should have had some follow up on, and I'm glad you touched on how Pam justified that to herself. I also love the idea of Pam wishing she hadn't been quite so drunk so she can remember it better. Very cute.
Also loved this moment of Pam having to cajole Roy into dressing appropriately to see her mom - feels like that contrasted with how enthusiastic he is in person with Helene tells you a lot about their relationship. I'm really enjoying your Pam-Roy material.
Date: April 28, 2021 12:54 am Title: Hoping I'll never find out that you're anyone else
I liked how Pam is standing up to Roy here. Not letting him walk all over her, getting away from him at the Dundies, making him be good for her Mom. Pam's always had some grit to her and that came across well.
More and more her thoughts turn to Jim. How she's more alive when she's around him. How she has more fun with him. How much she cares about what he thinks. Nice work.
Date: April 26, 2021 09:08 am Title: Itís not heaven Iím pining for: Part 2
Nice job getting into her head in a lot of these S1 episodes. One can tell that she's really starting to see Jim as more than a friend, but she knows she's still with Roy. Lots of back and forth type of tension in her thoughts here. She wants to be with Jim, but she's feeling more and more stuck with Roy. Nice work to bring that out.
Date: April 24, 2021 03:34 pm Title: Itís not heaven Iím pining for: Part 2
I really liked the dialogue in the Health Care section - I'm a sucker for an IM story, and this sounded like them. The Williams Sonoma line definitely seemed like Pam's humor, too.
Interested in your choices in Hot Girl... the idea that Pam tracks from the beginning that Jim is, in fact, noticing Katy is intriguing, and I'm enjoying your look at Roy and Pam's relationship and her sense of it.
Date: April 20, 2021 10:10 am Title: Itís not heaven Iím pining for: Part 1
Interesting to see her thoughts as we move into canon. You've set up the Jim and Pam friendship really well. It's clear they're really comfortable with each other. Also more and more Pam is just drawn into being with Jim. Not so much with Roy anymore. Roy's there, sure, but it's Jim she finds herself having good times with. Also I liked how you set up why she was so tired and thus fell asleep on Jim's shoulder. Very sweet.
Date: April 12, 2021 09:11 am Title: Can you see me using everything to hold back?
This is great! I like the way you've drawn out the more positive aspects of Pam and Roy's relationship, which you never really saw on the show, and gives you a better sense of why she might have stayed with him for so long: but also tempered it with the idea that she is settling/stuck, and how the introduction of Jim is making he realise that (particularly with the final line here about Jim always understanding). Also, as a huge Arctic Monkeys fan...I *love* the second chapter title :D
Date: April 12, 2021 06:48 am Title: Can you see me using everything to hold back?
Feels like the beginning of the end (though we all know that's still a long ways off) of the Pam and Roy relationship. The constant delay to set a date. Him not asking about her day and just walking right back out to be with buddies rather than her.
Still even as the Roy/Pam relationship starts to decline, the Jim/Pam relationsip starts to build. Love the way he brings her into the prank. She's also starting to notice him. How he treats her, how she feels around him. Really great to see.
Nice job with the layout and editing with this chapter. Big imporvments that make it a lot easier to read.
Date: April 06, 2021 10:49 am Title: Landed in a very common crisis
Again, I love that you're finding a realistic kind of sweetness in Pam's relationship with Roy - you can see where problems might come down the line, but you get why she stayed with this guy for a decade. The steadiness and predictability isn't just good because it's steady and predictable, there's also some genuine joy there. (The note of genuine enthusiasm for having her working with him, and that the idea came at a moment when Pam genuinely needed a break, is solid.)
And Jim's intro worked, I think - you can see this Pam really not SEEING these problems until he arrives in her life.
Date: April 05, 2021 06:35 pm Title: Landed in a very common crisis
i love the progression in this chapter! all the characters were introduced and you covered the pre-show very well. i can’t way to see how you write the rest of the story! it’s especially good that you’re motivated to do a whole story bc as a newer writer myself, i can’t bring myself to do more than one shots. you’re amazing! xx
ps. i love the chapter titles with my entire heart- and now i have fluorescent adolescence stuck in my head.
Author's Response: This review made my week! Iím so happy your liking the story so far and that you enjoy the chapter titles (thats personally one of my favorite things to add). Also I have no idea why I thought it was a smart choice to start a multi chapter fic as a new author, lol. Thank you for the kind words!
Date: April 03, 2021 08:08 pm Title: Landed in a very common crisis
Nice way to bring us up to speed on how she's doing. I can see how she'd get into a routine like this with Roy. Right now it feels she likes the way her life is going. She has a steady job, a fiance. However now Jim is there. The first feeling of her ring being heavy seems telling. Almost as if she can already look ahead and see the engagement is going to drag on. But anyway a nice look at pre-camera Pam.
A couple writing tips quick. Might want to find someone to proofread for you. There's a few typos that popped up. Also one usually starts a new paragraph whenever a new character starts talking. A couple things to help make your writing better.
Author's Response: Thank you for the tips! Iím VERY new to all of this and appreciate all the help I can get. :)
Date: March 26, 2021 11:03 pm Title: How you get the girl
There's some fun stuff in here! First, I love the Katy sighting, and it's nice to get a sense of the early ears of Pam and Roy being positive - him being a good boyfriend, her enjoying the benefits of being his girlfriend. It puts her later tolerance of his behavior in a different, more understandable context.
Congrats on your first story here - welcome to MTT!
Date: March 26, 2021 04:54 pm Title: How you get the girl
Welcome to writing! Always fun to have a new author on the site. Good look into teenage Pam and how her relationship with Roy started out. Considering they were together for around ten years, the start would probably have been good. In the show we really only saw the end as it was falling apart. It's good to get a reminder that at one time Pam and Roy were very much a thing.
Any chance for the next chapter you could make the text a bit bigger? It's a little hard to read when its that small. Should be interesting to see where this goes.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Iím also really excited to see where this fic goes, I have most of it mapped out but itís still fun to get to bring it to life. And Iíll be sure to fix the problem with the text size next chapter. :)