Sorry about the late update, for some reason I had really terrible writer’s block and kept backing myself into corners. Anyways, hopefully this chapter doesn’t go to slowly… tell me what you think! I’d especially love to know if you think that I’m getting the characters voice’s right… it was especially difficult in this chapter. Thanks!
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She doesn’t answer and she doesn’t answer as you pound on the door until your fist begins to ache. Her car is parked in the driveway and through the curtains in her front window you can see a light on, but she doesn’t answer.
“What, are you trying to cop a feel or something?” His rough hands shove you away again, her eyes growing wide with shock and fear, and if he even touched her it’s possible your head could explode. You jog down the porch steps and around towards the back of her apartment.
Finally you see her. She doesn’t look like she’s injured but she’s crying and you hesitate to disturb her because the same light that’s drenching you is caught in her curls and the tears clinging to her eyelashes. But you can’t just keep staring at her from the dark. You knock softly on the glass.
She practically jumps out of her skin when she sees you, fearful expression changing to one of guilt in just a few moments. Hands nervously push her hair from her face and wipe her salty cheeks, eyes avoid yours while she struggles the window.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“You called Karen.”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
She sniffs and crosses her arms across her chest, the window’s height making her taller than you for once. “You’ve moved on.”
If only you could. “I tried to move on.”
“Tried?”
“Karen dumped me tonight when I told her I was coming over here.” That fleeting spark in her eyes, that quickly masked emotion, so similar to those you had misinterpreted almost a year ago – how had you gotten back here?
“I probably should have let you in then,” is her only response, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth and suddenly you’re laughing too. “Sorry about that.”
“I’ll forgive you if you let me in now.” She quirked her mouth as thinking, you raise yours in a challenge and her laugh bubbles over again. It cuts through the tension in the air, the shine on her cheeks, a year of separation and anger and pain.
“Should I open the door or are you going to try to fit through the window?”
“Definitely the door.”
Organized chaos. Those words describe her living room perfectly. There wasn’t much, but what she did have was barely contained by the small room. Watercolors and stacks of paper had overtaken an entire corner of the room, a beaten couch and scruffy chair crammed into the other. Even so, it was obvious her apartment was well cared for, cushions in straight lines, paintbrushes standing tall and proud in their coffee can.
“Um… do you wan t to sit down or…”
“Yeah, sure.” The chair squeaks as you sit.
“I got it at Goodwill,” she mumbles, her cheeks burning red and fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. And you smile because for some reason she actually thinks you care that her furniture is old or her eyes puffy.
“So… what happened tonight?”
“Karen didn’t tell you?”
“I’d rather hear it from you.”
Her eyes meet yours briefly, searching. You don’t know what she finds but apparently it’s enough because quietly she begins to speak. “I just thought… I dunno, it sounds so stupid now but I thought he had really changed. And this year has been so… weird and I really just wanted to start over.” Another tear runs down her cheek but you know not the stop her now that she has finally started to talk. “And he made some dumb joke about how I couldn’t keep a secret from him, and I realized that if I wanted it to work then I really couldn’t. So I told him that I kissed you and he just… snapped. Started yelling and throwing things… everyone was just staring and he didn’t even care. They were all watching me when I left.”
You watch her sweep away more tears and avert her eyes. This is ridiculous. Moving carefully you straighten and sit next to her on the couch, wrapping a arm around her quivering shoulders. “Hey. It’s not your fault.” Fingers tangled in your shirt twist anxiously.
“I never should have gotten back together with him.”
He never should have been with you in the first place. “Why did you?”
“I was lonely.”
What’s left of your crumpled beaten heart finally falls into dust. “I’m sorry,” you whisper into her hair.
“Me too.” She looks up, salt finally washing away anything that ever left room for interpretation. “Thanks for coming here. You didn’t have to.”
“Yeah I did.”
Somehow your faces have made their way far to close. Close enough that all you can think about is how badly you want to kiss her, to turn the corners of her mouth upwards again, but still far enough away to know that you should give her time. Let her recover. You’re locked in a desperate fight with gravity, trying to pull your head away.
It’s so much easier to just let go when she pulls you down towards her.
There’s a slight thumping in your chest you haven’t felt for such a long time. Fueled by her warm breath it grows louder and louder, and your whole body tingles as the blood rushes through it again. Her touch can’t fix your broken heart, but she can give you hers, restored, unblemished, and ready to be put to use.
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Sorry again about the wait – hopefully the next chapter won’t give me so much grief and I can have it up by tomorrow or Thursday. =)
