She can’t tell me that all of the love songs have been written,’cause she’s never been in love with you before.

When she still wore another mans’ ring on her finger she had confessed her love. She had told her mother about the soft spoken paper salesman that made all bullshit with Roy mean nothing. Made ten years completely irrelevant. She had finally voiced her love for everything that was him. His hands. His smile. The easy way he carried himself. Despite what most thought she saw Jim as a man. People often assumed that what Jim and her had was grade school. They thought she saw him as a precocious six year old. The shy little boy that could talk himself out of every situation with a coy smile and charm. She did see all those things in him but she saw something that had fascinated her even more. She saw the muscles in his forearms that would jump as he typed. She saw the small vein in his neck that would pulse as he leaned over her desk. She fought the urge to imagine what it would feel like against her lips, what he would taste like. When Roy’s poker games ran long she would allow herself such imaginings. She would imagine him above her. Taking time that no other man had taken. Bringing her somewhere that she had never been with another person. She could almost she his hands on her, in her. With hamstrung thighs and sweat gently starting at her brow, she let herself imagine. She let herself dream.

Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood. Your hair falls soft like animals.

When she sat on his bed she truly smelled him for the first time. Thumbing through his yearbook. Him sitting as close as he could. His head bent forward slightly, whispering soft stories of remembrance. She was hit with the soft scent of him. It wasn’t sweet. It was musky and altogether man. It was then she realized that before anything that’s what he was. A man in the purest sense of the word. The vein that had haunted her so many mornings in the office was pulsing with a vengeance just then. Hope made her believe it had something to do with her. Driven by the scent of him and the privacy of his room, she lowered her mouth ever so slightly to his neck. Her lips had almost found him when his hair gently brushed her cheek. She pulled back as if she’d been burned. Sprinting from the room leaving Jim with no explanation and a look of confusion. The softness of his hair had reminded her that he was Jim. He deserved more than she could offer him right then. He deserved unreserved love. He deserved someone that was only his. He deserved someone with a bare ring finger. He deserved better than her.

I’m tryin’ to keep cool, but everyone likes you.

When she transferred a call to him from a woman with a voice she didn’t recognize, her heart broke. Every time he would decline her offer for drinks after work because he had a date, her heart broke. Every time he would kiss another woman in front of her, her heart would break. She knew that Jim was desirable to more than just her. She knew that she was only desirable to Roy. Every time she remembered that, her heart broke. Her heart had been broken so many times, in so many different ways that when she broke his in only one she had a horrible feeling if it not being fair. She had only done it once and she still wasn’t forgiven. He had done it so many times and she forgave him every single one.

I want to kiss the back of your neck, The top of your spine where your hair hits, And gnaw on your fingertips and fall asleep, I’ll talk you to sleep.

When she slept in her empty bed long after she had left Roy, she let herself imagine him in every way. She imagined a long Saturday night that had started with movie watching and couch cuddling and ended with her wrapped around him in a most delicious way. She imagined whispering " I love you’s" into his sleeping chest. Hearing his heart beat and knowing it beat for her. She heard him saying it back to her on Sunday morning. She imagined herself as deserving of him finally. She imagined that he would take one look at her and know she was ready. He would take her there in her apartment hard and fast against the front door at first, then slower later that same night. She imagined he would love her still.

Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood. Your hair falls soft like animals, And nothing else matters to me.

When Jim heard the first line, his breath caught in his throat. He imagined it meant what he hoped it did. He relished in the thought that she had began think of him the way he had always thought of her. He thought of her kissing him in places he’d never been kissed. He thought of her with her pink lips wrapped around his finger. He thought of her grazing them with her teeth. He thought of taking her hard. He thought of taking her soft. He thought of taking his time with her. He thought of her loving him.

Your hand, So hot, Burns a hole in My hand. I wanted to show you

When she would feel the soft brush of skin on skin, she was stricken. She was dumbfounded. She knew that love was in the touching. She saw him stiffen every time it would happen. She waited for the day when could hold his hand in public and proudly say that, yes she was with him. He would leave his mark on her. He would ruin her for all other men. She wanted to show him that was more than okay with her.

~~~~

Silence filled the air again. She could hear him breathing.

"Jim, did I show you?"

A choked, yes, was all she got. It was more than enough. She smiled.

The silence was broken. Track three filled the room.