I have written this down because I know that I have not long to live. My father told me this story and he died within the hour. The cause unknown. His grandmother bade him follow her into the dying vineyards. There she told him what she had sworn she would never utter. She did not live long that night. Her great-aunt lost all in her family to the tale. She wrote it down and tried to hide it neath the floorboards of the attic. Her last dying breath forsook her and she was betrayed. She had not time to cover the incriminating hole.

I tell you now but only under most extreme duress. You press and know that I cannot deny you. But this you must promise…after reading these words…you must cleanse your very soul. In the darkest pitch of  night you must hide in the safest of holy grounds. Where soil is consecrated and prayers are spoken. There you must eat nothing of meat and drink nothing of milk. If the sound of man approaches, know that you will be ever unclean. But…if by chance…you survive the evil hour…then you will be free. As free as man may be.

There are tales told when all sleep. When those work who do business best not disclosed to mortal men, that is the time when the story is whispered. From victim to victim the tale is passed. These unfortunates are foolish enough to call them dreams...

On the night I speak of, one nameless victim lay asleep. He was in a most unfortunate position, and for this you may weep, for he was where he should not have been.

But I forget myself. He was not nameless. He would become nameless. There was none to identify him when the need for a name was most precious. He was buried in his tomb under the marble that bore the words: MALE UNKNOWN.

Once he had a name and once he worked in a town where he knew many of small reputation and smaller worth. He was as content as any human is capable of in this day and age. He worked without thinking. He lived without thinking. That is the way of victims. His one regret in life was that where he worked was also where he died. It was called Dunder Mifflin.