“Hey Honey”

Karen froze, she was sure he would be asleep by now. Instead he lay on the couch bathed in the dull blue lights of the TV.

“What are you still doing up?” she asked as she struggled to keep her voice neutral.

“Nothing,” he said with a sleepy yawn, “I just couldn’t get to sleep. I tried reading,” he said as he held up a worn copy of Catch-22, “Nothing helped though.”

“Are you worried about something?” she asked softly, even over the gentle din of late night TV it was as if her question echoed off the walls of her tiny apartment.

“Should I be?” he asked just as quietly.

Yes. I kissed someone who wasn’t you tonight. I’m dying of boredom in this hellish little town. How did we fast forward to domestic complacency in 3 years. “No,” she said a little too forcefully, she reached over to trail a finger down the side of his chin, the feeling of stubble normally irked her but tonight he looked more rugged, more a man than his normal boyish self.

He grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckes, “I was really waiting up for you. I’m tired of us sleeping separately.” He said as he tugged her towards him.

“Why don’t you go to bed?” she said as she smoothed back his hair, “I have to take a shower, I can’t sleep smelling like smoke.”

“How was hanging out with Melissa’s cousin?”

“A lot of fun actually, Taylor is a blast. Her husband is the son of one of the old factory owners in Carbondale. So they’re loaded and she just kind of flits back and forth from New York and Philly. You should see the size of her ring.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. We should hang out with her and her husband some time.”

“Yeah maybe,” something inside of her twisted at the idea of her new friends meeting her simple, small town fiancé. With her dark gray Lexus and perfect blonde coif, Karen wasn’t even sure if she was good enough to hand out with Taylor Andrews. Somehow going to Brown and rooming with Taylor’s cousin had blinded Taylor to the fact that Karen worked as a paper saleswoman and her Manolos were from 3 seasons ago. Karen had taken Taylor’s playful dare to flirt with hot bartender in order to impress her, to show her that even though her life was a little shabby, she could still be chic. As soon as she started to pursue him the blood began to course through her veins and she felt that indescribable rush that she had so missed during the past couple of years. She felt wanted, and that made her feel powerful, sexy and unstoppable. Soon she was pooling out all her perfectly honed old tricks and she knew that before the night was out she would be making this man beg. Then there was that delicious kiss full of promise and a phone number slipped into her jeans. She could still feel the burn of his lips, and feel the racing of her heartbeat as she slipped back into the flirtatious role she had played so many times before.

After she tucked Jim in with a few guilty kisses, she finally stepped into the shower, the steam swirling around her legs. She watched her arms redden and the tiny hairs on her arms stand up as the hot water pounded her skin. She ran a finger over her lips, they felt soft to the touch due to her diligent nightly beauty rituals, but tonight they felt not quite her own. She scrubbed her skin as if somehow she could wash away her disappointment with her life and the knowledge that somehow tasting the forbidden fruit tonight had changed everything.

==============================================================

They had set a date. It was a year and a half away, the earliest that the country club that Karen wanted to get married in was available. July. Pam had always hated July, as much as she loved long summer nights and swimming in the local pond, in July her hair was one perpetual frizz ball. When she muttered that she still hated July to Jim he laughed and assured her that it would be plenty humid enough in Connecticut to frizz up her hair and she had laughed at the fact that he still remembered. But inside something had curled up and died. It wouldn’t be the same. Not that what she had was so utterly phenomenal- being perpetually disappointed in your own mate and lusting after another woman’s fiancé, but hey it was something. In a year and a half he would be Her husband, and then the father of Her children and he would have someone else to make him laugh. It was enough to make her pack up and leave or stay and salvage what she could of her own relationship.

So she made lasagna, his favorite. When he came home he let out an excited holler and actually leaned in to kiss her cheek in appreciation. “I love your lasagna Babe,” he had yelled over her shoulder as went to wash up after his pick up football game. When he returned to the table his cheeks reddened from the exertion and the sun Pam didn’t see the extra 30 pounds or the calloused hands, before her sat the boy she had fell in love with all those years ago.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he said as he helped himself to a generous portion.

“Dunno?” she said absently as she picked on the edge of the tablecloth, she hadn’t mentioned the word marriage in over a year, Karen and Jim had moved here 18 months ago. It had been an 18-month vacation for Roy from commitment seeking Pam, and tonight she was set to re-emerge.

“You know babe, I was thinking about setting a date,” he said with his mouth full of lasagna.

“Huh?” she asked shocked out of her reverie, she and Roy were hardly ever thinking the same thing at the same time, “the lasagna must be extra good tonight,” she said with a nervous laugh.

Roy just looked at her askew, and continued, “How about this fall, I mean Jamie is going to have a baby soon and well we’ll be an Uncle and Aunt, and I don’t know I figure soon we should get cracking on kids ourselves. At this rate you’ll be 30 before you pop out your first one,”

“I just turned 25 two months ago Roy,” she said bemused by the distinctly unromantic way he had charted out the rest of her life.

“Come on Pam,” he said with a sigh, “I thought this what you wanted?” he said petulantly.

“It is,” she said swallowing her anxiety with a giant gulp of iced water.  “But this fall is so close,” she said with a shake of her head, “I just need more time to plan the wedding, with volunteering and work I just don’t think I’d have time. Plus I don’t think we have enough saved up for a good honeymoon.”

“I mean how much does it even cost to go to Florida?”

“I was thinking we could go to Rome,” she said with a hopeful lilt in her voice.

“Why? Looking at broken down buildings and getting lost all the time because nobody speaks English?” he asked with a snort.

“Look, let’s go to the Bahamas, that’s another country right? Plus we’ll get an all inclusive, like that Sandals place or something.”

Pam shuddered at the thought of the cheesy commercials. That was something to discuss later. “Ok, sounds good,” she said with a formal nod of her head, “we’ll figure out the details later, but next spring then?”

“Nah, let’s do it in the fall,” he said as he scooped up another forkful. Jamie was saying it’s really expensive to do all that stuff in the spring. And the summer’s out.”

“Yeah I hate July,” she said with a hint of a smile.

“I mean it’s so friggin’ expensive to go anywhere in the summer. Fall is good and cheap.” He continued as he steamrolled over her statement, a moment later as he reached for another piece of garlic bread, she heard him ask, “Why do you hate July?”